How to annoy Esme Cullen:

Tell her Rosalie and Emmett did it on her antique table and broke it.

Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher

Run around the house in mud, ruining all her furniture

Start chewing on her hair

When she asks you what you are doing, just say that you wondered if her hair tasted like caramel

Take a hammer and try to smash her precious glass wall

When she chases you, tell her that a real mother wouldn't chase Yours truly,

Ask her why Alice only decorates

Tell her that she's not a real mom because she doesn't bake cookies for you :)

Wipe lipstick and perfume of Carlisle's doctor coat and show it to her, and tell her he's having an affair.

REVIEW PLEASE :)

xox