Disclaimer: I'm just a college student who doesn't know how to manage her money, at all, sleep in till mid-afternoon, stay awake till the sun comes up, and eat anything and everything in my sight... does it SEEM like I own a multi-millionaire franchise?! Didn't think so.
AN: Fuck. I suck. What the duck?! I don't suck. TEEHEE(watching nigahiga's videos on youtube got me saying that)! ANYWAY!! here's chapter... whatever. I don't even know what chapter we're on!! you know how I said there's like one or two more chapters left? Yeah, I think I lied. WHOO HOO?! I'm just rambling on. Sooooo..... HAPPY READING!
CHAPTER... something.
You know how everyone's all like "FML!" this and "FUCK MY LIFE!" that? Yeah, well, that's me right now. I've got no one to blame but myself, but still... Fuck. My. Life.
I lost my two best friends. My mom is practically disgusted with me. Mr. Stewart always gives me this hard look whenever we bump into each other. Jackson threatened my life after he flew back home from school during the last week of his winter break. Joannie...
She was pissed off, livid, when she found out that I told, or rather wrote, Oliver about the two of us. She came to my house a couple hours after Oliver was done with his destruction of my car and slapped me silly. She slapped the taste buds right out of my mouth. She slapped me until I tasted blood in my mouth. She slapped me until the pain was so excruciatingly painful that I just couldn't feel what she was doing to my cheeks anymore. I became numb.
She left after that, left as tears ran down her face like Niagara Falls and a horrified expression on her face. Kind of like that night she first laid her hands on me, but much more shocked and pained. I didn't take in too much though, since the numbness took away each and every of the five senses away from me.
After she left I dug through my moms medicine cabinet in her room and scored a bottle of the pain killers that was prescribed to her after she got her wisdom teeth pulled out. There were roughly ten pills in there, but that was fine by me.
Two hours, three pain killers, and half a bottle of Jack Daniel's later found me spread out on the couch in front of the family room's TV shit faced to the sky and back. The JD kept me warm, as it was a cold and bitter winter's night, and the pain killers helped the whiskey have an even bigger impact on me. I was warm, but numb all over.
My mom came home from work when I was on the verge of passing and blacking out. She always entered through the garage door connected to the kitchen. Then she'd boil water in a kettle, and while she waited for the whistle to go off she would pull things from the cabinet that she'd need to make her hot tea with honey and lemon. After the water would boil she'd soak her tea bag in a cup of hot water, wait five minutes like the instructions stated, and then mix in the right amount of honey and lemon.
Even though my mind was foggy and everything seemed slow and blurry, I could imagine my mom walking the few feet between the kitchen and the sofa.
'Five... four... three... two...'
"Ahh!" 'Perfect.' "Lillian Truscott! What the hell are you doing laying in the dark like this?!" My mother exclaimed after she sat her ass on my stomach. "Why does it smell like a bar in here?" She questioned suspiciously, to which I grunted.
My eyes clenched together painfully slow when light poured into the previously dark room. My arm sluggishly rose up and covered my eyes. "Ughhh..." I moaned when my mom ripped my arms away from being my eyes shield and stared down at me holding the bottle of pain killers in one hand while the other held onto the neck of Jack.
"What the hell is this?!" she shrieked. "Don't tell me you took pain killers and alcohol!" she waited for a minute, staring me straight in my half-lidded, blood-shot, droopy eyes, but when I didn't say anything she went all crazy. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Don't you know this is dangerous?! You could KILL yourself!" I felt myself tune her out, against my will honestly, and mumbled incoherent words while my head rolled side to side against the arm rest of the couch.
"I fucked up... I broke their hearts... I broke her heart... I fucked my life up... fuck my life..." I got out sluggishly.
"What?" my mom asked quietly. I barely saw her through my eye lids and sighed.
"I broke Oliver and Miley's heart," I slurred my words. I closed my eyes for a minute and felt the couch dip down under my legs. "I broke Joannie's heart, too. I broke everyone's heart... I'm the most shittiest person. Scum." I moaned. "I broke everyone." I sighed.
My mom gently grabbed a hold of my hand, as it was on my side, and tugged on it lightly which caused me to open my eyes. "What happened?" The curiosity outweighed the anger, that much I could decipher through my foggy mind.
"I've been..." I sighed, did I really want to tell her? She's my mom, I know she loves me, but Miley's been like a daughter to her too, who's side would she be on after hearing about what I've done? "I'm a cheater, ma." I croaked out. If the situation wasn't so fucked up, I would have barked out in laughter at the incredulous look on her face.
"You..." she frowned and pulled her hand away from mine, placing it on her lap. "You cheated on Miley?" she asked quietly.
I laughed with my breath and shook my head slowly. I turned my head to stare at the blank TV screen and mumbled quietly, "I cheated on Joannie."
"But she's Oli –, oh god no," she gasped. "Tell me you didn't...?" I shook my head slightly but kept my eyes on the screen. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" she finally snapped. Her fingers dug into my cheeks when she turned my head to look at her. I was numb, yes I was, but I still flinched when I felt a little pain as her fingers pushed against the bruises forming there. "What happened to your face?" she asked quietly, dropping her hands from my face immediately. I guess my face really looked busted.
"I got into a slight... altercation with Joannie." I chuckled after I realized that was the same thing I said to Miley. "She probably hates me too," I sighed, closing my eyes. The pills were reaching its peak and I could feel the medicine working as darkness consumed me. "Everyone I love hates me..." I trailed off before I gave in to the darkness and passed out.
-
I woke up a few hours later in my bed, how I got there I don't know. I was still drowsy from the pills and my head was pounding from the liquor. It took me a moment, but after the fog left my head I noticed a certain bluish glow around my otherwise darkened room. I tilted my head to the right of my bed, where the TV was, and noticed someone laying there on her side with her back towards me.
Still a little groggy, and not realizing what I was doing, I slowly reached out with my right hand and ran my fingers through the curly locks. Upon contact her body went rigid. When I saw this I sighed and pulled my hand away from her. "What are you doing here?" I croaked out since it felt like the Sahara desert in my mouth.
She slowly turned around to face me and her concerned eyes immediately locked onto my sleep-filled ones. She scooted over until she was pressed up against the whole right side of my body and threw an arm around my mid-section. My eyes followed her index finger as it drew invisible shapes and letters and numbers and other stuff on my stomach through my shirt.
Suddenly, her finger paused what it was doing to grab a fistful of my shirt and crinkled my shirt in her grasp as tears fell from her eyes. "What were you thinking, Lilly?" she cried into my ear.
"I – I don't know," I stuttered as I felt her tears and warm, ragged, breathing invade my ear.
She sniffled and pulled away her face away from my neck. "Of course you know! What's wrong?" she asked, pleaded, as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.
I felt tears of my own pool around the edges of my eyes, and when I blinked they fell slowly, one by one, like a leaky sink. I sniffed and cleared my throat. "I – I fucked up," I cried. "so b-b-bad." She opened her arms to me and I curled into her as I sobbed. I clung onto the front of her shirt with both hands, like she did with mine, and felt my body shake as sob after sob came out. "Ev-every-one hates me. No-no one wa-wants me a-a-around any-m-m-more." I got out between sobs. I sounded pathetic to my own ears.
"That's not true, Lilly," she said soothingly. I felt her chin dig into the crown of my head with each word.
"Y-yes it is!" I protested. "I f-fucked up so bad." I shook my head violently. She wrapped her arms even tighter around me and held my head close to her chest. The rhythm of her heart beat under my ear slowly relaxed me. I took in the way it thumped against her rib cage and forced oxygen into my nose, exhaling out of my mouth. When I was calmed all the way through, I positioned my ear directly over her beating heart and closed my eyes. I reveled in the feel of her hands as it soothingly rubbed my back. "Oliver hates me. Miley hates me. Joannie probably hates me too. My mom is probably disgusted with me. Everyone I love and care for hates me," I said as tears fell out of my eyes again.
I felt her tighten her grip on me before releasing me just slightly so I could look up at her through my eyelashes. "That's not true, Lilly," she said again, this time with a certain amount of sternness in her voice. I was about to say something before she started speaking again. "Do you love me?" she asked, looking me straight in the eyes. I nodded my head. "Do you care for me?" I nodded my head again. "I'm here, aren't I?" I nodded my head again "That means I don't hate you, okay honey?" she assured me as she kissed my forehead.
My bottom lip jutted out in a pout, quivered in its wake, and tears poured out of my eyes again as I hugged her close to me and smashed my face against her chest. "Thank you so much, Sarah. I don't know what I'd do if you hated me, too." My muffled cries said into her bosoms.
"I'm here for you no matter what, you know that." she reassured me as one hand was tangled into my blond locks and the other rubbed my back soothingly. "I don't care what you've done, we'll work through this together, okay?"
I pulled away from her, wiped the snot falling from my nose with a swipe of my arm and back of my hand, and nodded my head.
"I don't deserve it, but thank you for being here for me," I whispered.
"You're welcome," she said. "Now come back here and we'll talk it all out, okay?" She opened her arms out to me again and I fell right into her warm and loving embrace.
AN: That was short, I know. Sorry for the wait... Uhh, anyway. I've never taken pain killers before, so I don't know how someone'll act if and when they're on it, so if I got that part wrong, I'm sorry! All I know is the affect of liquor in your system... not like I drink all the time or anything *cough. I hope you liked the chapter though. Review, would you? K, thanks!
OH YEAH! this story's been going on for a YEAR. for a WHOLE DAMN YEAR, and then some! i can't believe it. either i suck at updating, or i really love this story so much that i don't want it to end. haha. anyway, thanks to everyone who has been reading along and reviewing! each and everyone of your reviews make me happy and shitty at the same time. happy because people are actually reading this stuff, and shitty because i suck at updating and you leave such wonderful reviews. anyway, thanks, once again! i love you... and your reviews ;)