A/N: This is the chapter where we see some the past seventeen years for Audrey, including her relationships with The Marauders and Lily.
This is also the first chapter in which Severus is featured as a bit more than a supporting character.
Audrey kept her eyes glued to her cup, watching the rogue tea leaves swirl around slowly. They seemed to be waltzing in time to her own uneasy breathing. She could feel Severus' sharp stare, burning a hole in her skin. Why on Earth had she agreed to do this?
After what seemed like hours, Audrey finally spoke up, although it was barely audible;
"Occlumency," she huffed out, "is...defending your mind against...external penetration."
Severus raised an eyebrow, as if surprised she had actually known the answer.
"Yes. A very obscure branch of magic, one extremely hard to master, however..."
At this he shot up out of his seat and walked over to a small table squeezed between two large
bookcases, as if he suddenly couldn't bear to be anywhere near her. The small sneers he would shoot her every once in a while were enough evidence to support that.
He leaned over the desk, his palms pressed firmly against the wood to support his weight.
"Albus Dumbledore believes that me teaching you Occlumency, even its barest principles would be absolutely crucial to your survival during your time with the Death Eaters."
He suddenly turned on his heel to meet her eyes again, now set with a deep determination.
"But why does Dumbledore think I need this sort of training?"
"The Dark Lord is highly skilled at Legilimency. If he felt the need, he could easily pry into your mind, finding out everything about you in a few moments. Only those trained in Occlumency are able to shut down those feelings, all of those memories which would be devastating were he to discover them, to build up a barrier, at which point you would be able to stand in his presence without detection."
Audrey glanced back down into her tea, which by now had gone cold, trying to interpret this sudden task forced upon her.
"But you're taking me to the Death Eaters tomorrow." she retorted. "Surely I can't master Occlumency in a few hours time."
Severus eyed Audrey, his dark eyes glittering. "The Dark Lord will not be present for tomorrow's meeting, so from him at least, you are safe. The other Death Eaters are not trained in this skill, but you will still need to prove to them that you are willing to sacrifice everything you hold dear in the name of the Dark Lord."
A sudden shiver coursed its way down Audrey's spine. She looked quickly over at the door, the voice inside of her telling her to run. She wasn't ready to give up her entire life to this evil. To fight side by side with the very people she had promised to vanquish for the sake of Harry. For the sake of Dumbledore, for the sake of --
"Remus." she mumbled underneath her breath. He had believed in her, to let her go.
He trusted her in the fact that she would be strong, be strong in the face of this monster.
She couldn't let him down. Because by letting him down, she would be letting down everyone else she cared for.
Her eyes shifted over to Severus, who still kept his eyes on her, tracing his mouth with his finger.
Audrey set down her mug on the small side table next to her and turned back to him.
"Alright, what do we have to do?"
Hesitantly, he made his way over to where she was sitting and slid silkily into the chair opposite her. His greasy black hair obscured his face, making it hard for her to make out his expression.
"It seems that you have no wand to speak of, correct?"
Audrey nodded sternly. "I've never been allowed a wand. Over at the Ministry, they think it improper for a legally deceased creature to brandish magic."
She let out an awkward snort which caused Severus to raise his head in surprise.
She searched his eyes eagerly, finally seeing another emotion begin to flow into them other than that of pure disgust or anger. But as soon as the change had come, his eyes fluttered back into that usual cold black stare.
Raising from the chair, he pulled out his wand from an inside pocket hidden away in his robes and moved to the center of the room.
"Because you have no wand to disarm me or defend yourself," Audrey could feel her fangs begin to elongate, delicately sliding down her bottom lip. "Other than your...natural abilities, you must find another way to defend yourself from a mental attack."
Audrey slowly retracted her canines and eyed Snape's wand, clutched tightly in his hand.
"Stand up."
Apprehensively, she pushed herself out of the chair and walked to where Severus was now standing, a sense of uneasiness surging through her.
They faced each other, their eyes set.
"What are you going to do?" Audrey asked, her body tensing up.
"I am going to attempt to break into your mind," he said cooly.
"We are going to see how well you can mentally resist my attack. Brace youself."
Before Audrey could steady herself, she could hear him shout "Legilimens!"
Suddenly, her mind began to explode with a burst of light. Random pictures whizzed around her, blinding her before transforming into another image. Another memory.
She could see herself in the dark hallways at Grimmauld Place, Harry walking side-by-side with her as she smacked his shoulder...She could see herself flying over the city on the back of Remus' broom, clutching on for dear life as she dug her fingers into his sides...Another blast of light. She could see herself running through the forest, the pine trees slashing her face as she sped past and the moon illuminating her path...She was sitting at the dining room table now, Sirius laughing hysterically, tears in his eyes as he glanced over at her. He gave her a quick wink and then exploded into another blinding light...In the Ministry of Magic now, she turned to face a bright eyed, less worn version of Remus gleaming back at her. His grey eyes began to glow as her surroundings began to dim. Soon the only source of light was his eyes, as they bore down upon her...
"NO!"
In an instant, it had stopped. She opened her eyes to find a rather annoyed Severus looking down upon her, his wand at his side. Evidentially while she was fighting to control her memories, she had fallen rather unceremoniously onto the floor. Severus gave a sharp sigh before holding out his hand to help her up.
"You didn't really try at all, did you?" hissed Snape, walking back over to where he had been originally standing.
She could feel her blood begin to boil as she tried to come up with a retort.
"Well...if you would have told me what you were going to do, maybe I would have been more prepared!" she barked back.
"Do you expect the Dark Lord to tell you when he decides to invade your mind?" he shot back.
"You needed to feel how much power this spell can bring, and you need to learn how to control it!"
Audrey could feel herself shaking, but wasn't aware if it was from what she had just been through or just raw anger.
"Did you see what I saw?" Audrey asked, sitting herself on the arm of the chair closest to her.
"Just small flashes of it. But that small amount of information would be enough confirmation to the Dark Lord that you were just a spy working for Dumbledore. You have to remain focused."
"On what?" she shouted, a sharp pain beginning to pulse in her leg. 'That must have been where I fell.' she thought to herself.
Severus merely sneered, his lip curled upwards as he gestured for her to return to the center of the room. She shot him a pleading look but he merely stood there, his eyes unsympathetic.
Raising herself gently from the chair, she once again walked to where he was standing.
"You are going to need to clear your mind, you have to let go of all your emotion."
"That's easier said that done, Severus." she said angrily, rubbing her back.
"None the less," he growled back, "it is discipline that'll get you through this."
Although still rowelled up, she managed to close her eyes and take a deep, soothing breath.
"Now, clear your mind of all thought," She could feel him circling around her like prey, chanting the words into her ears. "Don't feel. Don't remember."
"On the count of three. One..two..."Legilimens!"
She could see herself crying hysterically, clinging to her pillow...Remus screaming as she tried to hold him back from a pair of guards. She turned her head to where he was shouting and could see Sirius being dragged away, his hands clawing at anything to keep him from being taken...
Standing in the snow, Remus at her side, clutching her hand almost too tight as they watched two caskets being lowered into the ground...A tiny baby's face protruding from a blanket. Looking up, she could see the proud mother's face, Lily's face...Remus shining down brightly upon her as they swayed on the dance floor...Lily and James kissing tearfully amidst cheers from the wedding crowd...
"STOP IT!"
The bursts of light instantly faded and she soon found herself, once again, on the floor.
Her head felt like it was going to burst, but it was no comparison to the stabbing pains in her chest. She had no idea he would be able to go back that far.
She glanced up, but this time there was no Severus offering his hand to pull her up.
Uneasily, she managed to stand up and searched around her. Snape had his back turned to her and was brushing his hands across the spines of several large volumes stacked on his bookshelves.
She hobbled over to the chair and fell ungracefully into it, her muscles turning to jelly.
For several minutes, neither of them spoke, but simply stared off into space.
Audrey was the first to speak. "Listen, Severus. I'm trying my hardest, I really am."
He didn't respond but kept his back to her, as if pretending she didn't exist.
"Some of those memories were the best times I've ever had in my life." she continued, despite his obvious lack of interest. She smiled to herself as she pictured Remus' face hovering over her, his eyes bright with joy and the worry lines that were now ever imprinted on his face nonexistent. But then other images began surging through her brain again. The funeral.
Their tiny baby boy suddenly orphaned.
"And some of them were worse than anything I've ever been through."
Severus had turned abruptly and began to trudge out of the room but then stopped halfway out the door. He glanced back at Audrey, tears now beginning to stain her cheeks.
He looked down at his feet, as if embarrassed to see her exposed like this. Slowly, he made his way back to where she sat and eased himself in the chair across from her.
"They were my best friends, you know?" Audrey mumbled underneath her breath.
"I hadn't known them for very long at all, really," she sniffed back some tears, "but in that time, I never felt lonely, never felt unloved. And living as long as I have, that doesn't come around too often."
She glanced up at Severus, his eyes still concentrated on the floor. She continued anyway, even if he wasn't listening. "The girl you saw, Lily, she was like my sister. You wouldn't have met a kinder, gentler woman if you looked to the ends of the Earth."
She noticed Severus shift slightly in his seat.
"The year I met Remus was the same year she and James were married. It was beautiful.
That was the day Remus proposed to me."
At this, Severus glanced up, surprised. But he could see the shadow that was suddenly cast on Audrey's face. "But that was the year everything began to change. The Death Eater's began to rise up so fast, it was getting harder for everyone."
At this point, Severus was studying her face intently, his hands gripping the armrests firmly.
"Regulus Black, Sirius' brother was killed but the Aurors kept hunting down Death Eaters, some sent to Azkaban. And then baby Harry was born."
Audrey's face began to light up a bit, but for only a second. "He made Lily and James so happy and it took all of our minds off of things for a while." It was then the tears began falling freely now. "And then Lily and James had to go into hiding."
Suddenly Audrey's face grew into a snarl and her eyes began to burn with anger.
"And then Peter led him to them. He led Voldemort to them and killed them."
Sobs began to rack her body. "And Peter let it happen. He was our friend. And he murdered them."
Audrey couldn't bear to say any more. Her heart wouldn't be able to take it.
The room was completely silent for what seemed like hours, with the occasional sob or sniff from Audrey. Severus merely sat there, his eyes trying to focus on anything but her.
But he stayed. And as awkward as it was, it gave Audrey a small comfort knowing he was still there.
Gradually, he lifted himself from his chair and swept past into the hall. Audrey could hear a few bumps and creaks but couldn't see anything from where she was sitting.
Then as fast as he had disappeared, he shot back into the room with several blankets and a pillow. He set them down on the chair and then straightened back up, looking down upon a rather tear-soaked and red Audrey.
Before she could say anything, Severus swiftly clutched her shoulders and lifted her gently out of the seat. "I think you've had enough exertion for one night, Miss Belmont."
Through her puffy eyes, she could see herself being led down the dark hallway which, just like the rest of the house, was covered from base to ceiling with thick books and the occasional portrait.
While still clutching her arm, he turned the knob on a door that was at the end of the hall and led her inside. She caught a quick glimpse of a rather high-ceilinged room, the walls still covered with books. Mixed into the shelves were occasional pieces of dark-wooded furniture; a wardrobe, a few sets of dresser drawers, a writing desk and a large wrought iron bed sat right in the middle of the room. He set her firmly on the bed and continued on past her, to the dresser against the back wall.
"I'm assuming you have nothing to change into?" he questioned, rummaging around the drawers.
"I...uh...didn't think I'd be staying overnight."
He sighed softly and she could hear him shut the drawers with a snap.
He glided back over to where he had set her down and tossed a thick cotton shirt onto her lap.
"I suggest you get some sleep," he muttered, heading towards the door, "we've got alot more to cover tomorrow."
She glanced down at the shirt in her hands, rubbing the fabric in between her thumb and forefinger.
"Wait," she suddenly shouted, stopping him right before he closed the door.
"Where are you going to sleep?" As soon as she asked, a sudden but brief light seemed to flash in his eyes, softening his sour appearance.
"I think I'll be able to handle the settee perfectly well, Miss Belmont."
She let out a small chuckle and nodded.
"And Severus...thank you."
He stared hard at her for a few seconds, unblinking. Audrey's heart suddenly leapt into her throat, as if she had said something wrong.
Then, he simply nodded and quickly shut the door behind him.