Hmm... I'm not sure, but I think I may be digging myself an early grave here... definitely death due to insanity!!
MattSaotome
Chapter 1
The Unnamed Feeling
Aside from the low level chirps and clicks that were all too common on a command center, the bridge around the man was quiet. No one was saying anything to anyone else, for reasons that he had long since figured out. It was considered unethical to talk casually amongst your fellow officers whilst on your way to commit mass murder!
He turned slowly in his chair, bringing the view of the bridge to his eyes a bit at a time. The useless science station before him was just his favorite place to sit, was all. It wasn't as if the station was ever really needed anyways. They were a ship of war. Period. The science station was just a formality.
With a deeply drawn sigh, he slowly rose from the seat, giving a light stretch to work a small kink out of his lower back. He surveyed the officers around him. Standing by the only turbolift entrance to the bridge were two security guards, dressed in uniforms that bore a closer resemblance to the mid-starfleet era than the present. At the center of the bridge, sitting in his chair, Captain Gil Grissom was pouring over a report PADD in silent stoicism. He could never tell exactly what the hell was going on in that man's mind. The helm officer, lieutenant Takahashi, was tapping a single finger on her console in some silent frustration. A couple of other officers were strewn out around the bridge, but none of them were standard crew. It was, after all, the night watch.
The Sheffield was a modified Sovereign class starship, rigged for war. Many upgrades had been done to the ship since it's last launch, and it had become a force to be reckoned with, for sure! This made him even more puzzled as to why the ship's original captain had agreed to take her out again as his ship, since Gil Grissom was hardly known as a great warrior captain. More like a man of strategy, filled with virtue and honor. So… maybe it DID make some small amount of sense to him, after all!
Then his gaze settled finally on the man seated at the tactical station, obviously doing nothing more than playing a glorified battle simulator game with only mild interest. As he stepped up to the man, his voice finally cracked words out, not having spoken for over five hours.
"Will?"
The man turned slowly in his chair. "Yeah?"
"Boss's on subspace for you."
The man's expression fell a little. "…Damn… A week's supply of Jack Daniels says they wanna know about Deep Space 3."
"Well, what are you gonna tell them?"
Will blew out a hard breath of air, turning back to his friend, John Robinson, with a look of passive uncertainty. "I don't know…"
"You don't know?" Captain Grissom's solid voice coasted over to them with it's usual impassive grace. "How about starting with 'I murdered a crew of 5700 when I blew the station up for taking passive scans of our launch'? That's a good place to start."
Will sneered down at the captain. He hated the man with his entire being, and he'd only been subjected to him for a little over a day. "Oh, that's so incredibly smart of you, you stoic jackass! I think you forget your place!"
Grissom's eyes shot up from the PADD, and his head slowly followed suit, staring Will right in the eyes.
"Oh, really? I don't think I do at all. As I recall, I work for Starfleet Intelligence, NOT Section 31. Just because I'm escorting you and your ship to the specified co-ordinates means nothing. Besides, as an old saying goes, the man that follows a fool… is doomed to foolishness himself!"
"Why you-" Will shot up from his seat, intent on jumping the ship's captain right then and there, but Robinson's arm came out in front of him. Will slowly turned to look at his friend, who just shook his head from side to side slowly.
With a snarl, Will threw himself in the other direction, heading for the turbolift. As he entered it, Grissom threw one final question his way.
"You're going to tell them that an escape pod managed to disappear into the nebula, as well, right?"
Will turned in the turbolift car, leaning against the back of it as his hands slid over the railings on either side of him. As the doors began to shut, he snarled once more with his reply.
"How about Go Fuck Yourself!"
Serena strolled her way into engineering like it was just another day at the office. Humming softly to herself, she singled out the first person that she noticed had chief pips on. She smiled and altered her path to intercept the woman. She bounced up to Dana with just a bit too much exuberance for the assistant chief's tastes and stuck her hand out.
"Commander Vegeta?" She asked, the grin not leaving her face. It was almost understandable that the new arrival jumped nearly ten feet in the air when a voice came from just behind her that wasn't there a second earlier.
"Yes?" The REAL Vegeta responded to his name, flicking his eyes over to the blonde with a strange hairdo just before she shot into the air.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dana's mouth hung open for a moment as the peppy newbie recovered from the shock.
"I… I think I've… just been insulted!" Dana cocked her head to the side for a second, the PADD she was about to hand Vegeta still half way held out in front of her. She chuckled, leaving her mouth hung open a little for emphasis. Vegeta replied by shooting her a mock grin that seemed to say 'Bite Me' in reply. Not a second later, the new arrival had calmed her beating heart and now faced the real Commander Vegeta.
"I'm… whew! I'm Lt. Commander Serena Tsukino. Your new field engineer!"
Dana fell to the deck and died of laughter.
Vegeta's eyes went wide. Oh, God in Heaven, NO!!!
All of Engineering came to a sudden halt, all eyes on Serena in either shock or silent hysteria, no one wanting to say a word out loud in case Vegeta killed them.
"…Rrrrrrreeealllyy….." Vegeta dragged. "…Well, Commander… uh…. uhum… your station is… that way."
Serena followed the direction of Vegeta's finger, looked at her post, then looked back at the Saiyan engineer with a huge smile. "Cool! So, how long have you been chief engineer?"
Vegeta, who was about to walk off after showing the giggling fart her post, halted in his tracks at the new question. He looked at her again and faked a smile. "A long time." He tried to leave again.
"Wow, you sure don't say much." Serena scowled.
"Noticed that, did you?" Vegeta replied, trying once more to walk away. Breathe, Vegeta. Just breathe. It will do you no good to kill her, she's too stupid to know anything!!
"Don't mind him," Dana was recovering now as she stood back up. "He's always a grouchy, bad tempered, complaining-"
"Commander…" Vegeta intoned.
"Testy, grumpy, crabby-" Dana continued, ignoring Vegeta.
"Mr. Jorgensen…" Vegeta started to look at her a bit darkly.
"Peevish, cantankerous, irritable-"
"Dana!!!" Vegeta snapped.
"Hell of a chief engineer that I've ever had the privilege of serving with!"
Vegeta's shoulders slumped with a heavy sigh. He still didn't know why he hadn't sent Dana to sickbay at LEAST a dozen times since the start of their trip. He'd killed men for less… but for some reason, he never could do it to her. Maybe her unique capability to handle his attitude had actually grown on him somewhat. Did that make him soft? He didn't think so. It simply meant that, through some happening that he didn't fully understand, his assistant chief engineer had gained his respect.
Even if she did insult him through half of his day. That was OK. He always gladly returned the favor!!
"Hard love…" Serena mused. "Message received."
"Yeah," Dana confirmed. Some nameless lieutenant that was walking past during Dana's revelation now joined the group.
"Are we allowed to do this now??!" He seemed surprised. Without even really waiting for an answer from Dana, the lieutenant turned to face Vegeta.
"You have the disposition of a camel before it spits!" He exclaimed.
Dana winced.
Serena ducked.
The lieutenant became one with the plasma relay wall.
Vegeta snarled at him as he lowered his open palm, a little residual energy crackling at the edges of his fingertips. He quickly surveyed the rest of the officers in the room.
"GET BACK TO WORK, YOU WORTHLESS PACK OF FOOLS!!!" He snarled. Not waiting to see what else queen ditz had to say to him, he turned quickly and left the general area, making full speed to… something he considered more important than meatball heads, tapping his com badge on the way.
"Medic to Engineering. General incident."
The lieutenant slumped down from the wall, quite unconscious.
The door chime to Ranma's ready room sounded, and Ranma looked up from the PADD he was perusing while sitting at his desk.
"Come," he said.
The doors opened, and Vegeta immediately stormed into the room, the doors closing behind him. He leaned on Ranma's desk, looking his captain straight in the eye with… holy crap, he actually looked ready to plead with Ranma!
"We REALLY have to talk!!" Vegeta blurted out. He'd completely had it with his new field engineer. If he had to spend another moment around that meatball headed ditz, he was sure he'd kill himself! Ranma blinked a couple times. The door chime went off again.
"Uh, come?" Ranma looked at the door again. Lt. Scott and Lt. Logan both rushed in, squishing through the entrance at the same time, neither giving the other the courtesy of going first. Ranma shook his head for a second before they finally got through the door and approached his desk.
"Captain!" Scott sounded desperate.
"We have to talk!" So did Logan.
::Nifty Star Trek Door Chime Sound::
"Oh, for the love of… By All Means, Join The Party!" Ranma called to the door. It swung open to reveal Akane, who didn't even wait to get to his desk before blurting out exactly what Ranma expected to hear from her.
"Ranma, we have to talk!"
Ranma opened his mouth to begin to try and organize the crowd, but he was left with his mouth hanging open.
"Goku to Captain, we're receiving a distress call."
Ranma was on his feet, heading for the door. "On my way, number one!" He turned to face everyone just before going out the door. He quickly flashed looks around, then began to point fingers.
"Vegeta in one hour. Haircut and Eyepiece in two hours. Akane… ::sigh:: come with me."
Everyone blinked just short of dispersing, then there was some shoulder shrugging, followed by a little mumbling from Vegeta and the two Wildcards as they all filed out the door in a line. As the Wildcards members passed him, they muttered some kind of apologies about their actions in the briefing room. Ranma just brushed the incident off, and told them not to worry about it. As Vegeta came by… wait, what was he holding?!
Vegeta tipped a glass of water over Ranma's head, tossing it back into Ranma's ready room with a chuckle.
Ranma looked at Vegeta with annoyance now, water still dripping from her red hair.
"Commander…" she growled.
"Heh, if I have to put up with that meatball headed ditz for another hour," he said, still walking backwards away from the captain on his way to the turbolift, "then you can answer this distress call with your other half!"
With that, Vegeta turned and exited the bridge. Ranma shook her head with a sigh. Akane was giggling. Goku blinked. Ryouga was outright laughing. Shampoo and Mousse just felt a little sorry for him. Sighing one more time, Ranma walked over to her command chair, flicking a finger in Shampoo's direction.
"Let's hear it." She said. Shampoo pushed a couple of buttons silently, and the com system bipped to life.
"-Repeat: This is the sole surviving escape pod from Deep Space Three calling to any federation ship capable of saving my precious life. I, Tatewaki Kuno, The Blue Thunder of the Alpha Quadrant, am all that is left of the crew of the station Deep Space Three. I do not have to tell you that I am capable of paying a handsome sum to whosoever comes to my aide in this, my time of need! I implore you to respond as soon as-"
"Aw, crap…" Ranma muttered under her breath, not bothering to continue to listen as Kuno kept ranting and raving over the com system, sounding oh so sorry for his 'glorious self'. She tapped her com badge quickly. "Saotome to Vegeta."
There was a moment of silence before Vegeta's voice replied, sounding just a bit too cheerful. "Go ahead, Captain!"
Bastard! Probably laughing his ass off in the engine room right now!! "Commander, I just thought I should let ya know that, due ta the identity of the person sendin' the distress call, I now have no choice but ta subject ya ta that 'Blonde Meatball-headed Ditz' for at least a week, if not more… for all the misery you're about ta cause me when I answer this call!"
There was a long, silent pause before Vegeta responded. "…fuck…"
"Commander?" Ranma grinned a little, but enough to be heard through her words.
"…Understood, Captain…" There was a click from Ranma's badge as Vegeta severed the connection. Ranma's grin became a little sheepish, and she turned to Goku quickly.
"…A little too harsh?" Ranma asked.
"Well," Goku thought for a second. "Hmm… That depends on what you meant when you said 'For all the misery you're about to cause me when I answer this call.'"
Akane chortled from the second officer's chair. "Just sit back and watch the fireworks, Commander!"
Ranma's grin faded immediately to a snarl before she waved a finger at Shampoo again. "Ops, Open a channel ta the escape pod."
Ranma gulped hard. She had always swore that the day she ever found Tatewaki Kuno in distress, she'd make sure whatever ship she was on would go sailing right past the gloating bastard at the slowest possible speed while she stuck her tongue out at him as they passed! Unfortunately, according to his communiqué, Deep Space 3 had been completely destroyed, and this meant she had to answer the call.
"Channel open, Ranma." Shampoo reported from her console.
"Thank you, Commander," Ranma's voice cracked slightly as she straightened her tunic a bit. Then, professionally folding her hands behind her back, she cleared her throat and spoke up.
"This is the Federation Starship U.S.S. Wildstar ta the person in distress. We have intercepted your transmission and are en route ta your position. We are receivin' your exact co-ordinates now."
A moment passed…
"…Ah, the heavens smile upon the Blue Thunder yet again! Wildstar, I shall graciously allow you to come to my rescue! But, I beseech you, wilst thou grant me visual communication? As you sound like a fair flower upon the dying grassy fields of the Alpha Quadrant, and it is the solemn duty of I, Tatewaki Kuno, to bestow upon you my chivalrous thanks by allowing you to date wi-"
"Grrrrrr….." Ranma's eyes were squeezed shut tightly, her fist clenched in front of her, shaking with the desire to jump out of the ship and kick his sorry little ass! Akane's hands were over her ears, and she looked at Ranma with wide eyes, shaking her head rapidly from side to side, mouthing the words 'No! Don't Do It!' But Ranma knew she had no choice, or the gloating fool would never allow himself to be rescued. Instead, she quickly threw her arm in shampoo's direction, a single finger pointing at her, but still shaking as she squeezed the words out painfully. "Open… visual… communications… commander…"
Shampoo blinked, an expression of pity for Ranma on her face as she complied. Akane jumped behind the second officer's chair to hide, an action that caused Commander Goku to raise his left eyebrow. There were a couple of beeps, followed by the sweep of abrupt rapid clicks to signify to Ranma that the viewscreen had just been activated. She kept her eyes very firmly shut, her fist still shaking in front of her. She even winced when a gasp of joy came from the audio speakers.
"Ah!! 'Tis none other than my pigtailed goddess come sailing to my rescue!! Oh, how fate plays with our feelings, my love, for I have longed these past months to see your smiling face! Come, beauteously approach my wayward soul, and let the transporter beam that tugs me gracefully towards you be a symbol of the pull that has existed between us from all the way across this lonely Federation Space! For 'tis my soul that yearns for thee, to fill the empty space that exists within you when I, Tatewaki Kuno, The Blue Thunder of the Alpha Quadrant am abse-"
Goku quickly made a slicing motion across his neck in Shampoo's direction, his face extremely blue. The viewscreen blipped to blankness once more, and Mousse and Ryouga both were making gagging noises at their posts. As Goku got out of his chair to approach his shrinking captain's form, Ranma gradually let one eye drift open as she realized the sound of Kuno's voice was gone. Then, she felt Goku's hand on her shoulder.
"I think giving Commander Vegeta a week was way too kind of you, Captain!"
Akane giggled as she took her seat again, a look of long pity on her face for Ranma.
Ranma sighed hard, feeling her body ease as it would after a hard battle. She let her arm that had supported her clenched fist drop back to her side as her hand relaxed and drifted slowly open, revealing four perfect nail-shaped cuts in her palm that were slowly trickling blood. Akane saw this, and went to get the dermal regenerator from the med-kit.
"Mousse," Ranma called out.
"Ma'am?" Mousse replied without thinking, then quickly covered his mouth as he realized what he'd just called Ranma.
"Relax," Ranma sighed, slowly meandering back to her chair. "I'm startin' ta get used ta that, anyways. Just… just make sure Kuno doesn't hack inta our communications grid in an attempt ta contact me. God only knows he'll at LEAST try THAT."
Mousse nodded after dropping his hand back to his side in relief. "Aye, captain."
"Shampoo, do NOT under ANY circumstances answer Kuno again 'til we reach him. Personally, at this point, I don't even care if he gets blown away before we get there!"
"Shampoo do." She replied.
"Ryouga…" Ranma took in a deep breath, not liking what her next order was going to be.
"Uh… yeah?" Ryouga asked, now facing the silent Ranma. He saw her eyes clenched shut again, and a moment passed before she opened them and looked right at him.
"I hereby grant ya permission ta go to the aide of the white noise of the alpha quadrant, the incredible windbag, Tatewaki 'Somebody Shoot Me' Kuno!" Ranma's head danced from side to side as she said 'Somebody Shoot Me', a sarcastic grin flashing on her face just before saying his last name. Ryouga blinked twice at her before bursting into horrendous laughter, which the entire bridge crew did. Even Akane, as she took Ranma's injured hand and began to work it with the dermal regenerator, was turning blue in the face as she tried to hold back the chuckles so as not to screw up in mending Ranma's hand.
Ranma just huffed her head down onto her other hand, letting Akane go to work.
"Well… ::grumble, mumble:: At least we'll be at Risa soon. Then Commander Goku can take the Wildstar and handle this stupid incident, and we won't have ta put up with the 'Blue Blunder!"
Akane's smile grew a little at the idea of being able to evade Kuno almost completely. "Yeah…" she breathed. "Thank God for minor miracles!"
Ranma flinched suddenly as a quick pain shot up his arm from his hand that Akane was working on.
"Ow! Hey, watch it, Tomboy! I know it's hard for ya with that brute strength, and all, but do ya hafta be so clumsy with that thing::URK!:: I mean… Uhhh… Aww, shi-i-i-t…"
Consciousness quickly left Ranma at the hand of Akane's mallet.
"Sheffield, this is Will. Subspace Umbilicals are severed."
"Understood. You are now under your own power."
"Cloak and take position 20,000Km off our port. Stand by to receive any further instructions."
"Acknowledged."
The Sheffield's bridge disappeared off the viewscreen before him. With a growl to show that he most definitely would NOT miss the stuck up bastard of a captain, Will Beahm turned and strode back to his command chair, swiftly taking his seat.
"Tactical, power up independent cloaking systems."
"Aye, Captain!" came the swift reply.
"Ops, yellow alert. Sound General Quarters, all hands stand-by battle stations."
The Ops officer quickly activated inter-ship. "YELLOW ALERT! ALL HANDS TO STAND-BY BATTLE STATIONS! GENERAL QUARTERS! GENERAL QUARTERS!"
"Helm!" Will barked, getting into it as the white lights of the bridge faded out to be replaced by the hard-blue battle lights, bathing every surface with an ethereal glow. "Set course to intercept target! Warp 14!"
"AYE!" The helm officer returned. On the viewscreen, the starfield was flung quickly to the left, then leveled as it began to shoot past them, the little points of light quickly turning to long streams as the ship broke the light speed barrier and continued to accelerate. Will tangled his fingers together in front of his face, his elbows firmly planted on the arms of his command chair as he leaned forward a little, a slight grin gracing his expression.
"ETA to target?"
"One hour, sir!" Tactical replied.
"COS, Richter Red!" Will instructed the man standing beside his chair.
"RICHTER RED!!" His first officer's strong voice called out. The blue glow on the bridge quickly faded to red, and an alarm klaxon double-sounded loudly. Out in space, the visible section of the Leviathan's saucer shimmered gracefully out to meld with the space flying around it as the cloaking device surged to life.
Will leaned back in his chair. "The hunter has been released," he spoke quietly to himself. The chase was on, and one oblivious starship was about to get the shock of its life!
BWAHAHAHAHAAHHH!!!! Man, the Wildstar is in for it now!! Not that it's any big surprise, but I guess Ranma managed to piss off the wrong people yet AGAIN!
More insanity and crazy Section 31 stuff coming up, but MOST importantly... Hehehehh...
...Risa...
::Evil Grin::
MattSaotome