Chapter 19

Erik's house...July 28

Erik's POV

I am quite sure no one actually knew how much pain I was in, both emotionally and physically. Well, 'no one' being Nadir.

When we returned to my home, Nadir complained about his aching shoulder and went to bed. I, on the other hand, proceeded to do what I did best when in pain.

Destruction. I went to the most private area of the house, my bedroom, and in my anger, I tore important documents to shreds, destroyed expensive belongings, and broke a mirror I had long ago stashed away in a drawer.

It was the crash of glass that brought Nadir to the room. "What the devil is going on?"

I was breathing heavily and looking at my hands with spite in my eyes. "Get out, Daroga," I said with an edge in my tone.

I was not facing him, but I knew he was near. "What is wrong, Erik?"

My pain grew increasingly. "I said, get out!"

He finally knew when enough was enough and left the room with a sigh.

'What is wrong?' 'What is wrong?!' Everything! She left. I let her leave. I will never see her lovely face again. I will never listen to her voice again. I will never view that exciting personality of hers again. She is gone. She left my love for her behind.

It was then that my anger turned to anguish. I fell to the ground sobbing. I wished to tear my own heart out.

--

Christine's house... Two weeks later.. August 11

Christine's POV

Two weeks passed. Yes, two weeks.

My life was returning to the way it had been before my kidnapping. Meg even took me on one of her shopping excursions one day. But, mostly, I practiced singing. The first day of college was approaching quickly, and I wanted to be in top shape when it arrived.

On the outside, my life really seemed to be turning around and taking a nice shape.

On the inside, however, my heart was bleeding. I'd been missing Erik more and more with each passing second. And, it had been a lot of seconds with two weeks having passed.

My voice was not to its utmost potential, because I was not at my utmost potential. Meg and Aunt Giry couldn't see it, but I was slipping into a depression that ran deeper than hell.

I mean, let's see.. I'd been kidnapped, raped, abused, misunderstood, and in unrequited love… It seemed life could get no worse.

So, all I could live for was my voice, and even it wasn't enough. Not even music could soothe my soul. My weary soul. May it wither and die! I thought dramatically.

In the blink of an eye, the day of attending college was a week away. I'd been practicing my singing everyday to try to get my mind off of the pain.

But, it was getting worse. I knew I'd lost a few pounds. My normally smooth and glossy curls were a frizzled mess. My skin, already a porcelain color, was even paler than usual. I was slipping into nothingness.

And now, the family was noticing. It was a rainy night when Meg knocked on my bedroom door. "Come in," I tiredly said.

Meg entered the room tentatively looking like if she made one wrong movement I would explode.

I sighed and said, "You can sit down, you know."

She did as she was told and sat still for a while before finally confronting the situation. "Christine, sweetie, what's wrong?"

I sighed again and closed my eyes momentarily. "Nothing's wrong. It's just the college nerves.."

"I'm in the same boat as you, and I'm actually excited about it."

"Good. I'm glad you are."

Meg looked at me with something akin to worry in her eyes. "Please, talk to me. I know you must think I'm a ditsy blonde, but I'm not. You can tell me anything. I'll always listen."

That actually caused my wall of defense to crumble. I looked at her with tears in my eyes. "Thanks, Meg." I then continued, "I just feel like I'm.. sinking. I know Aunt Giry said I should go to therapy, but I just know it wouldn't help. Nothing can fix me. Nothing."

Meg was confused. "Therapists really know their stuff. I know you're still hurting from all that happened to you, but a therapist could help you deal with it."

I looked at her and shook my head. "It's not that simple. A therapist couldn't make it go away. It'll always haunt me." I then whispered, "A therapist can't bring someone back, either."

Now, she was really confused. "Christine, you're not just talking about what happened to you in July, are you?"

Smart girl.. "No, I'm not."

"What else are you talking about?"

I examined her face for a few moments. Can I really tell her? I knew she would tell me if she were in love, so I decided to divulge my secret. "Ok, you want to know? Meg, I'm in love."

Her eyes widened, and she excitedly grabbed my hands. "Are you serious? Oh Christine, that's wonderful!"

I shook my head. "No, it's not. He doesn't love me. It's pointless."

"Who is he?" She sounded so excited.

Yeah, why not? I'll tell her. "His name is Erik. He's one of the two people who helped me put my kidnapper away."

"No way.."

"Yeah. We became really close."

"Well, I guess so, since you're in love with him!" She smiled, but I couldn't return it. "Something's wrong here."

I raised an eyebrow at her words, but she continued, "You aren't happy. People in love are usually happy."

I groaned. "Yeah, but he doesn't love me! I can't be happy when it's unrequited."

Meg's eyes then brightened like she'd actually thought of something. "How do you know he doesn't feel the same way? Did he, like, tell you or something?"

I shook my head. "No, he never had to say it. I just know it. He only feels pity for me. Everyone does."

"Christine, we may feel bad for you, but that doesn't mean we're… scared of you or something. We love you. I'm sure he does, too. Who couldn't love you?" Meg touched my shoulder in a comforting way.

"Well, I guess I'll never know. I'll never see him again."

"Why?" she demanded.

I looked at her. "Because, what we had is over."

Meg gave me a look like I was crazy. "It's not over! From what I'm hearing, it's far from it. Christine, you've got to call the guy!"

I wasn't shocked that she'd said that. "I can't just call him. He'd think I was retarded. There's no way I'm going to proclaim my love for him when it's not returned. I just don't want to stoop that low."

"Christine, sometimes you've got to take things into your own hands. You can't allow life to move along while you suffer. I think fate put you two together in the first place. Now, it's your turn to do the rest."

I'd never viewed this 'smart' side of my cousin before. "But Meg, I can't just call him. I- I'm too nervous.."

"You want me to?" she asked determinedly.

I was now shocked. "Wow, you're really serious about this, aren't you?"

"Yes, I really am." She stood and handed me the phone on my bedside table. "Come on, Christine. You can do this. I know you can."

I looked at the phone nervously. "I- I don't know his number.."

"Get a phone book."

"He's not listed."

"Drive to his house."

"I can't do that."

"I'll drive you over there, damn it."

I stared at her. "You know, Meg Giry, you're one crazy girl."

"Gotta love me!" she exclaimed with a grin.

I finally submitted myself to her request. "Ok, ok. I do know one number I can call. It'll get me to Erik."

"Go for it!"

I took the phone from her grasp and opened my bedside table drawer where Nadir's number was stored on a piece of paper. I then looked at Meg.

She seemed to take the hint. "Ok, I'm leaving. You'd better call. I've motivated you, haven't I?"

That's when it hit me. "You have motivated me. Thank you so much, Meg."

"No problem. What are cousins for?"

I smiled, and she left.

Then, the smile faded. I can't believe I'm going to do this.. I slowly dialed the number and put the phone to my ear.