Chapter 17:
"What the hell? "
Gibbs saw DiNozzo sitting on the side of the bed, in the same position he had left him hours ago. Big green eyes were silently pleading with him.
For what? To be left alone? To be ignored? Why would he want that?
Maybe, it wasn't as much wanting to be ignored, but keeping to things he was familiar with. Well, it was time he learned.
"You're not sleeping!"
Tony dropped his eyes to the floor, avoiding the scrutiny of Gibbs' gaze. There was no point in trying to deny what was obvious to the senior agent.
When Tony looked up again there wasn't any more pleading in his eyes. Actually they were pretty much devoid of any emotion. The smile that had appeared on his face, did not reach them by far.
"Oh boss, you know what a spoiled brat I am, I need a king size bed, and pricey satin sheets. It's like in the princess and the pea."
Gibbs felt a cold shudder run down his spine. It was concerning how easy Tony hid behind his acts. He was giving him; yet again, a load of bullshit. After all, he had seen the young man sleep in his car yesterday.
It definitely was not the missing comfort that kept his agent awake. But what was it?
He had seen him sleep in the office before, when they'd been working a case 24/7. Laid back in some impossible position on his chair, getting at least a few minutes of uneasy sleep.
He had also seen him staying awake by force, and seen him fake sleep, so he, Gibbs, would stop pressing him to rest.
He was avoiding letting his guard down in front of others; by any, and all means.
He had seen him awaken to nightmares. Tony had never noticed him watching, even though he checked his surroundings with a haunted, guilty expression on his face.
The nightmares, he had assumed, were those of every law enforcement officer, those that came with the job. Maybe, it was more than that?
He avoided sleeping where he would be seen by others, or where he would be heard?
He was afraid, Gibbs realized, afraid to go to sleep and have someone else notice his nightmares.
"You don't feel safe enough to go to sleep here?" So after all, Gibbs would prod a little.
Tony stood up, showing his palms, in a defensive gesture, up in front of his chest.
"No, no. Why should I? It's not like there are people sneaking into my room in the middle of the night watching or anything, is there?"
Gibbs gave him a dirty look. He had a point there, but Gibbs would be damned, if he got off track because of that now.
He saw Tony's strategy for defense. He was trying to annoy him so he would back off.
You'll never get a better opportunity from him. Okay, he decided, just go directly for it.
"Tony!" his tone was strictly no-nonsense. He demanded attention and made clear that he meant business now, with just calling his name. The question that followed was softer, but he kept it devoid of any judgment.
"Nightmares?"
Tony turned around and stepped away from him, suddenly extremely interested in a picture hanging on the opposite wall.
Gibbs knew he couldn't ignore his question, though. It took a while, but Gibbs force of will made him answer.
"Sometimes."
"The job?"
"Sometimes."
Finally, they were getting somewhere. Tony had admitted to something. The second 'sometimes' had told a whole story. It was uttered quietly; Tony had given up something he usually fought so hard to hide. He dropped his head again, in a gesture of quiet defeat, Gibbs had seen this way too often during those last days.
So it wasn't only gruesome crime scenes, or faces of victims that haunted his dreams. There were other demons after the younger man.
He had deep issues that he struggled with. He obviously saw it as a weakness, he had to cover them up, anyway he could. And now that he had been forced to admit to a weakness, he expected it to be used against him.
Not gonna happen! This was his chance to show the young man that opening up would not backfire at him.
"All right!" he said putting an end to the matter, "So! Princess on the pea, "He made a pause for emphasis.
Tony's head shot up and he looked shocked to be addressed in that way. But once again, instead of the expected malice he only found lighthearted mockery in the expression of his boss.
Gibbs gave him a grin playfully, as if he actually had expected him to let that previous line of him go without making at least a little fun of him.
"Let's go. I've got another beer for you and a boat to work on."
Tony was deeply confused, not sure he could trust his hearing any more.
"A boat?"
Author's note: This is a short one, but more will come soon. I do have some time issues right now. Thank you all for the awesome reviews. Please, keep them coming! Constructive critique is greatly appreciated!