The next day, InuYasha, Kagome, and Sango were still laughing their heads off about what they did to Miroku. Miroku was still a little ticked at having kissed InuYasha. Shippo said "oh, get over it, Miroku." Miroku, trying to retain his patience and calm, replied "why should I? I kissed InuYasha thinking he was a woman." Shippo said "that was your fault, though." Miroku gritted his teeth and said "they're still rubbing it in." InuYasha, in a female voice, said "we can't help it when you're so good-looking." As InuYasha ran his finger between Miroku's shoulders, Kagome and Sango were falling over in laughter. InuYasha, too, was laughing his head off (in his normal voice). Shippo was giggling a little. Miroku said "shut up, all of you. So I made a careless bad decision. Would you stop rubbing it in?" They all looked at each other in silence for a moment and simultaneously said "no" and began cackling again.
Kaede walked in and asked "what's so funny, here?" InuYasha replied "oh, you should've seen us last night. We took advantage of Miroku's womanizing and humiliated him." Kaede said "I'm not sure I follow ye, InuYasha. What exactly did ye do to him?" Kagome said "well, it was a new moon night, so we took advantage of InuYasha's human transformation. He wore ladies' robes, had perfume and makeup, and I added some fake knockers." Kaede looked at InuYasha and then at Miroku. She then busted out laughing. "So, ye thought InuYasha was a woman?" Kaede asked. Miroku replied "yes, and I even kissed him, too." Kaede flinched and said "indeed, ye are foolish. Ye need to learn to think before ye act." InuYasha said "the look on Miroku's face when I revealed my true identity was priceless." Kaede replied "ye are one interesting half-demon, InuYasha. Still, ye made a fool out of a monk by dressing like a lady, and using the new moon night transformation to your advantage. Next new moon night, InuYasha, I would like to see this disguise."
Later on, InuYasha sensed something. Kagome asked "InuYasha, what's wrong?" InuYasha replied "Sesshomaru is somewhere nearby." InuYasha glanced at Miroku and then had a mental light bulb go on. Kagome asked "why would Sesshomaru be around here? He's not going to take Tetsusaiga, is he?" InuYasha said "well, whatever the case, I just got a nice idea. You got any more perfume, Kagome?" Kagome replied "yes, but, why?" InuYasha said "just go with the flow. I'll need removal of this necklace, some hair spray, and the perfume." Miroku asked "what are you planning to do with the perfume, InuYasha?" After a pause, Miroku flinched and said "You're not going to make him kiss you now, are you?" Sango replied "I don't think that's what he has in mind." Kagome said "I'd have to go with Sango on this one. I think he has something better to try on Sesshomaru than what he did to you." InuYasha said "I'm not going to be dressing up like a woman." Kagome asked "why should I remove the necklace?" Shippo said "maybe InuYasha doesn't want the necklace giving him away. Right, InuYasha?" InuYasha replied "yes, Shippo." With that, Kagome removed the necklace and handed InuYasha the hair spray and perfume. "I'll see you later, InuYasha" she said. With that, she was off to her time with the necklace. As the others went to see Kagome off, InuYasha doused himself with the perfume, set his sword aside, and used the hair spray to put his hair into a large Afro, hiding his ears in the process. He then took off and looked at Sesshomaru from behind some shrubbery. "Why are we resting, me lord?" Jaken asked. Sesshomaru replied "all this battling with my brother is wearing me out. I need to recuperate." As Sesshomaru walked on, InuYasha thought of something clever to do.
Upon reaching the modern era, Kagome was seen by Sota. "Hey, sis" he said, "what's that in your hand?" Kagome answered "this is InuYasha's necklace. I'm keeping it here because he's doing some work." Kagome's mother said "Kagome, we're running low on eggs, butter, bread, and printer ink. Could you go and get us some?" Kagome said "certainly, mom" and got in her car. She went down the shrine's zigzag driveway and was headed for the store.
Back in the feudal era, Sesshomaru was looking for a place to rest himself. Rin asked "Lord Sesshomaru, what about InuYasha?" Sesshomaru replied "I must take him down, Rin, but he keeps outwitting me. I constantly have to fight and find him. I need a rest." InuYasha, in his Afro and perfume, saw Sesshomaru approaching a rock on which he was seated. "Here he comes" InuYasha thought. Sesshomaru said "I eventually will take down my brother; I just need to rest now." Jaken replied "I think we all need to rest, me lord." Rin asked "so you need to take down your own brother? Why?" Sesshomaru replied "Naraku asked me to take him down since he couldn't find him. If Naraku catches me resting, he'll probably have my head." InuYasha, in an Australian accent, said "sounds like you're in quite the pickle there, mate." Jaken looked at InuYasha and, confused by the disguise, asked "who might you be, sir?" Sesshomaru said "just a minute, Jaken" and read a banner InuYasha had next to him. "Assassinations R Us?" Sesshomaru asked. Jaken replied "I've never heard of this kind of service before." Rin said "maybe you should let this sage take out InuYasha." "What?" Sesshomaru asked.
Kagome, meanwhile, had gotten back to the shrine and handed the goods to her mother. "I'll be back soon, mom" she said. Kagome's mother said "okay, Kagome" and watched Kagome speed into the well. She got back to the feudal era and stumbled upon the scene as she was on her way to Kaede's. Fooled by the disguise herself, she thought "who the heck is this creep, and what's he doing with Sesshomaru?" She heard Rin reply to Sesshomaru with "you need your rest and you need InuYasha taken out. Why not rest while this assassin sage takes out your brother?" Kagome thought "Sesshomaru is hiring an assassin? I have to warn InuYasha." Sesshomaru, meanwhile, thought for a moment and then asked "how do you do this, Rin?" Fooled by the disguise himself, he turned back to InuYasha and said "I am Sesshomaru; son of the great dog demon. I want you to take my brother out." InuYasha replied "so, it's your brother, then. I've been wanting to get me hands on him meself for some time, mate." Sesshomaru asked "you know him?" InuYasha replied "yeah. Half-demon named InuYasha. He claims to be able to wipe out a hundred demons in one swing of his sword. I think that's just a load of codswallop, mate." Sesshomaru said "don't underestimate him. I've seen him actually do that." Kagome thought "I wonder if I should warn the others as well as InuYasha. Maybe I ought to try intercepting this guy first."
Sesshomaru said "consider yourself hired then." With that, he tossed a 5-foot diameter bag full to the top with many gold coins to InuYasha. He then said "I'll be waiting by that lake over there" and pointed at a nearby lake. InuYasha asked "should I bring you this plonker's head when I'm through, mate?" "No need" Sesshomaru replied, "just a lock of his blood-stained hair. However, I would like to know the name of whom I'm hiring." InuYasha said "oh, where are me manners, mate? Name's Light." As InuYasha and the unsuspecting Sesshomaru shook hands to close the deal, Kagome thought "so his name is Light. I've got to go find InuYasha." She then thought again. "What if he gets to InuYasha before I do?" she thought, "I have to stop him, and fast."
As Sesshomaru, Jaken and Rin left, Kagome went to where they were and saw the supposed assassin (InuYasha) packing up. "You wouldn't dare lay a finger on InuYasha. You hear me, Light?" InuYasha, resuming his normal voice, said "I swear, my brother is such a sap." Kagome, very surprised at the revelation, asked "you mean you're playing your brother into thinking you're an assassin?" InuYasha, breaking up the hairspray with his hands to let his hair fall back, said "yeah, and he did something I wasn't even expecting." Kagome, noticing the slivers of remaining hair spray, whipped out a 5-gallon Gatorade container of water and drenched InuYasha. She said "I noticed some remaining hair spray." InuYasha replied "thanks, but you could've used a bottle and not a jug." He grabbed the sack and said "now that I'm through with the disguise, I'll gladly have the necklace again and I need you to hide this in your time." When InuYasha handed Kagome the large bag of gold coins, she was not expecting the amount of weight that it had. Then she said "How much does this bag weigh?" InuYasha lifted it a little and replied "a lot." She peeked into the bag and lost all concern about its weight upon seeing an enormous amount of gold coins inside. "Holy shit, InuYasha, we're rich…I think!" InuYasha said "keep that in your time, and we can see how much they'd be worth in your time. I, in the meantime, will wait." Kagome, trying to lift the bag, said "I could use a little assistance getting this in here." InuYasha agreed and got the bag in the trunk. "I'll see you in a few minutes" InuYasha said. Kagome kissed him and was off.
Meanwhile, at a nearby lake, Sesshomaru was laying on the sandy shore. "Man, it's good not to stress over taking my brother down since Light is taking care of that" he said. Jaken said "yes, me lord." Rin resurfaced and said "this water feels real good." She saw Ah-Un about to land in the lake. "Lord Sesshomaru, you may want to look out" she said. Sesshomaru asked "what for. We're safe since I have Light taking care of Inu--." Ah-Un hit the water, sending a big (but relatively thin) wall of water into Jaken and Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru finished with "…Yasha." As Sesshomaru spat out some water, Jaken yelled "Ah-Un, you stupid dragon!" Rin dove back down, resurfaced with a rock, and pelted Jaken with it. "What was that for, Rin?" he asked. Rin replied "I just felt like it." Sesshomaru said "enough, you two, we should relax."
Kagome, meanwhile, had arrived back at her shrine when Sota shouts to her "hey, Kagome, back so soon? What's in the car this time, sis?" Kagome opened the trunk and said "something that I need help getting up to my room." She got the money sack out and dropped it behind the car. She and Sota were lugging it up the stairs and over to her room. "This thing is heavy" Sota said, "what's in it?" As soon as they set it down, Kagome opened the sack and Sota gawked at the boatload of gold coins. He said "holy crap, sis, how much is it worth?" Kagome thought for a moment and replied "beats the shit out of me." Sota asked "maybe I could Google a conversion site that accepts this kind of ancient currency." Kagome replied "well, find the site for me, I'll be back in here in a bit." She headed outside and Sota said "okay, sis." Outside, Kagome saw Yuka, Eri and Ayumi walking by. "Hey, Kagome's back from Boston" Yuka yelled. Ayumi asked "wasn't she touring Harvard this time?" Eri replied "yes, she's been going to a lot of universities." As they scrambled up the shrine stairs, Kagome thought "oh, man, I'd better think of something quick." Eri yelled "Kagome, how was Harvard?" "That was a very fine university" Kagome replied.
Back in the feudal era, InuYasha walked into Kaede's hut only to stop in his tracks as he saw Sango and Miroku making out. "Whoops" he said. Sango and Miroku looked and saw him. "InuYasha, where have you been?" Sango asked. InuYasha replied "walking around. What have you two been doing?" Miroku said "we heard Sesshomaru pass by mentioning an assassin he's hired to go after you. I heard him say his name was Light, I think." InuYasha said "Sesshomaru is such a sap, he fell for my disguise." As InuYasha was laughing at that, Sango asked "wait, he was talking to you and he didn't know it? He really is a sap." Miroku said "so, that's why you needed the necklace removed and the other supplies."
Sesshomaru, meanwhile, was enjoying some peach juice that Rin had made for him. "This peach juice tastes wonderful, Rin" he said, "how'd you make it?" Rin replied "I just squeezed out the peaches." Meanwhile, behind some foliage, InuYasha was waiting. "Okay, don't jump out until he's in mid-sip" he thought. Sesshomaru took another sip, and InuYasha yelled "hold it right there, Sesshomaru!" Sesshomaru gagged on the juice and sputtered "InuYasha." InuYasha landed on the sand in front of Sesshomaru. "How's that drink taste, brother?" he asked. Jaken asked "how did he find us?" Rin asked "where's Light?" Sesshomaru asked "what have you done with Light?" InuYasha, feigning innocence, asked "who?" Sesshomaru replied "puffed up hair, strange accent, from Assassinations R Us." InuYasha replied, in the Australian accent, "he was a little tied up at the moment, mate." Sesshomaru recognized the resulting voice and said "so it was you, InuYasha." Jaken asked "how stupid could we be?" Rin whimpered "we even gave him a bag of golden coins."
Sesshomaru, upon hearing that, stammered a little and asked "how could I forget?" He then yelled "give that money back, InuYasha." InuYasha replied "you know, I'd love to, but there's a little bit of a problem." Sesshomaru asked "what happened to that money?" InuYasha held up a picture of Sesshomaru that had been Photo-Shopped to look like a female version of him (with tire-sized knockers) and said "that time in bed with her was worth every coin." "WHAT?" Sesshomaru yelled as he cringed. Jaken asked "you got in with a prostitute?" Rin asked "prosti-what?" Sesshomaru said "never you mind, Rin." He then turned to InuYasha and yelled "you pervert," shuddered, and continued with "you son of a--." "…Great dog demon" InuYasha interrupted with. "Time to die, InuYasha" Sesshomaru spat, "especially after sleeping with that female look-alike of me!" He was about to draw Tokijin when InuYasha said "no swords; let's settle this like human men." With that, InuYasha took off Tetsusaiga and dropped it to the ground. "I accept that challenge, InuYasha" Sesshomaru replied. He removed Tokijin and dropped it to the ground. With that, a major fistfight began. Kagome heard the noise and went to the area.
TO BE CONTINUED…