Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight no matter how much I wish I do.
Rose: Emmett what's wrong?
Emmett: *hyperventilating* He almost touched me!! *points to little kid*
Edward: So? He's just a little kid he won't hurt you.
Emmett: Yes he will!! I saw Monsters Inc. last night and the kids are poisonous!!! Even the things they touch are poisonous!! So he can't touch me or I'll die!! *starts to dry-sob* I'm too young to die.
Rose: *groan* Why did I marry him?
Kid walks over to Jasper and tugs on his sleeve.
Emmett, Jasper, and Alice: EEEEEEEEEEKK!!!!!!!!
Alice: That is a limited edition shirt, kid. Touch it again and I will rip your arms off!!!!
Emmett: Jasper's been contaminated!!! He's doomed!!!!
Jasper: *feels Emmett's panic and starts to freak out* AAAAAAHH!!!!!! Get it off of me!!! HEEEELP!!!!!!
Bella: *walks up* What's wrong with Jasper?
Edward: *grabs Bella and puts her behind him* Watch out!!!! The kid is poisonous!!!!! It says so in Monsters Inc.
Bella: *sigh* Remember the end though? It turns out the kids weren't poisonous.
Emmett: Oh. Sorry kid. *goes to hug him but kid runs away screaming*
Alice: *attacks Emmett* You lost me a customer!!!
Edward: *cheers* Give him a left!!! Give him a right!!! Go Alice!!!!
Jasper: *feels Edward's emotions* Go Emmett!!!! *feels Emmett's* AAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!! Bella!!!! Save me!!! *feels Alice's* I'll get you for that Bella!!!
Bella: What did I do?
Jasper: *pauses to think* You…. stole my air!!! HA!!!! *tries to pounce on her but Edward intercepts*
Rose: A hundred on Alice.
Bella: Ok, I'll bet on Emmett and Edward.
Rose: Deal. *shakes Bella's hand*
The kid, his mom, and the mall police walk up to the fight.
Police: Break it up, kids, break it up. *Alice stops on top of Emmett and Jasper on Edward*
Rose: HA!!!! I win. Pay up.
Bella: *groans and hands money to Rose*
Mom: *turns to kid* Is that them, sweetie?
Kid: *nods and points to Emmett* He's the really mean one.
Emmett: *gasp* That's not true! You're a liar!! *tries to grab kid but police puts handcuffs on him* What the hell dude?
Mom: *gasps and points to kid* Watch your mouth around my son, you son of a bitch!!!
Everyone but Bella, the mom, the police, and the kid burst out laughing.
Police: *arrests them all* You're coming with me!!
All: WHAT!!!!!
Edward: Esme's going to kill us!!!
Alice: NOOOOOOO!!!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL STORE!!!!! DON'T WORRY BABY, MOMMY WILL BE BACK!!! I PROMISE YOOOOOUUUU!!!!! *gets dragged away still screaming*
Edward: Do you think Charlie will still let me date Bella if I don't have a perfect record?
Rose: No.
Edward: NOOOOO!!!!! I'LL BE NEAR YOU MY LOVE I PROMISE YOU!!! THEY CANNOT KEEP US APART FOREVER!!!!!! *gets dragged away still screaming too*
Police: Let's go kid. *nudges Emmett*
Emmett: But I want to scream too!!! Please?!?!
Police: No. *starts to pull him away*
Emmett: NOOOOO!!!!! I WANT TO SCREAM AS YOU DRAG ME AWAY!!! PLEASE LET ME SCREAM!!!!!! IT'S MY SOLE GOAL IN LIFE!!!! NOOOO!!!!! *gets dragged away screaming*
Rose: What an idiot. *turns to kid and hands him three hundred dollars* Here you go. Thanks for getting them arrested. Did you really have to get me arrested too though?
Kid: *takes money* Yep!!! *skips away humming*
Rose: Grrrrrrr. *lets police take her away*
AN: What do you think? Good? Not good? Please review and tell me what you think.
Emmett: Rose?
Rose: Hmm?
Emmett: What was the evil plan you talked about last chapter?
Edward: She doesn't have one. She was just trying to scare you.
Emmett: Ahhhh!! Where did you come from?
Edward: Remember last chapter?
Emmett: Yes.
Edward: *grins evilly* Twilight.
Emmett runs away screaming.