We got into the closet. It was dark, as closets tend to be. I stood there. I didn't know how to handle the situation. I felt my palms claming up. I never had problems putting the moves on girls before. But, this was different. Letty and I had something special- I was hoping anyway. And, honestly I would have loved to take it to the next level. But, I had really received no indication from her that she felt the same way. I didn't want to ruin what we had as friends. Damn. I licked my lips and just stood there. I knew Vince was going to ask me about this incessantly afterwards.

"So, this is weird," Letty said, cutting the silence.

"Little bit," I said laughing. I was nervous.

"Whatcha want to do?" she asked.

I didn't really know how to take this question. How ambiguous could you get? Did she mean did I want to kiss? Or, did she mean how did I want to kill time before however minutes the group intended us to stay in here had passed? Girls. Why did the ones that really mattered have to be such a mystery? She had always been a mystery to me, though. It was like a rubrics cube that I couldn't solve. Regardless of how close I got, there was still always one color in the middle of a lot of solids that just threw me. I liked that about her.

"Letty…," I started. How honest did I really want to be? Did I want to tell her how I felt about her? Did I want to tell her that I had been waiting for this moment for, well, a long time? I couldn't identify the moment that I had fallen for her. Well, actually, that wasn't true. I could. I fell for her the first day of school when I was in the ninth grade. I went to her house. She had a really bad run-in with her aunt's boyfriend that day and I put my arm around her. She fit so perfectly in my arms. I knew that no other girl would fit that well. I think I hadn't fully realized this until just now. I don't even think that I'd allowed myself to realize that I actually loved her until now.

But, before I could finish, I felt her hand on my cheek. Was this really happening? I reached down and put my hands on her waist. I pulled her close to me. I could feel her body against mine. And, for the first time, it was not because she was sad or shocked. For the first time, I thought it might be because she shared the feelings that I had for her. I took my right hand and found her face in the darkness. I leaned my head down and pulled her face up to mine. Our lips met, for the first time. It was soft, gentle. We stayed connected for a few minutes. It was surreal. I could not believe that we were kissing. But, it was awesome. It wasn't like kissing all the other girls I had in the past. I really had feelings for her. I think I realized at this moment just how intense they were- everything was starting to make sense. We started kissing more intensely. I opened my mouth, tickling her lips with my tongue. I wanted to be careful not to overstep any boundaries, but I wanted to get closer to her. She opened her mouth with this invitation. I met her tongue. I had no idea how much time it had been. I saw the door start to open. I reached over and grabbed the handle, holding it shut. I didn't want to let go of this moment. I may never get another chance. I felt a pull on the other end for a few seconds. I was trying to split my focus, but it was pointless. She had me.

---

I woke up late the next morning. I was pretty hung over and had stayed up really late. I walked into the kitchen. Mia had apparently already made breakfast and cleaned the dishes. Oh well, I really wasn't hungry anyway. Instead, I felt a little nauseated. I grabbed a Gatorade out of the refrigerator and walked down into the basement. I figured I would just lie on the couch and fall back to sleep.

I made it down the stairs to find that Letty had already taken this idea.

When I saw her I thought of the kiss we shared. It hadn't continued too long after Vince tried to open the door. But, it had been real. It was the realest thing I had ever experienced. It was genuine and true. I thought about how cute she looked when we came out of the closet. She was so embarrassed. I don't think I'd ever seen her embarrassed before. I wasn't embarrassed; I was just disappointed that it had ended so soon. We had walked back over to the group and sat in our original spots. I had looked over at Vince. It had been evident that he wanted to say something. But, I glared at him so hard that he didn't dare speak a word. No one said anything. Some looked at one another. But, they continued to play. Neither Letty nor I got called on again that night. I just drank, heavily. I wanted to numb myself. I was feeling so much, so many different emotions. So, I decided to just feel drunk. I think Letty must have had the same idea because she started throwing them back quicker than I had ever seen her before. And, I would know. I couldn't take my eyes off her the rest of the evening. I tried my best. When she would look over at me, I would have to quickly look away. I could never tell if she noticed that I was staring. But, I couldn't help it. It was like she was a magnet that my eyes were drawn to.

Snapping myself back into reality, I walked over to the chair beside the couch and crashed.

"How you feeling?" she asked, not looking up.

"I'm not going to lie, I've definitely felt better," I said.

I wanted to ask her about last night. I knew that she remembered it. It was all that I was thinking about. It had been so amazing. She had to have felt something too. I mean, if she was willing to kiss me, she must have. But, she had been drinking before just like everyone else. I started to get scared. Maybe it was just the alcohol. I didn't want to ask her, but I did at the same time.

"Did you have fun last night?" she asked. Was this an open opportunity?

"Yeah, did you?" I asked. Maybe she would mention it.

"Yeah, it was fun," she replied. I guess not.

"So, um, do you want to talk about what happened last night?" I finally asked. As soon as the words came out of my mouth I wanted to take them back. When it was clear I couldn't, I wanted to crawl under the couch and die. Why was I acting so nuts? A girl had never had this effect on me. I had never thought about it this much, never scrutinized the things that I was saying so much.

"No not really, do you?" she asked, looking up at me. Well, hell. Not now I didn't. I didn't want to appear, weak? Whipped? I didn't know what the right word for was. But, yes I did want to talk about it. I was head over heels. But, that wasn't me and I wasn't going to reveal this. I wanted to be, what had Zack told me? Aloof, unaffected.

"Um, nah," I said, playing it cool. "I just didn't know if you thought it would be weird or whatever."

"Trust me Dominic, it takes a lot more than a kiss to weird me out," she said, lying back down.

Hm, I had no clue what to make of all this now. But she continued, "If you want to talk about it, I mean…"

"No, it's cool. I's just checking," I lied.

She laid her head back down and continued to watch television. This was awkward. Well, for me anyway. She acted completely collected and normal. Why was I so nuts? I wished that I could read her mind. But, it probably would have just depressed me.

TBC

---

AJ