It is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place. – Washington Irving

Part Three

They looked at each other for a moment without speaking before she looked away again.

"How have you been?" she asked nervously, tugging at the cuff of her shirt sleeve and trying to keep all the emotions she was feeling from bubbling to the surface. She wanted to hit him, scream at him, ask him why he'd left her when they'd both vowed to never do such a thing.

She took a deep breath instead.

"Good," he replied just as quickly, eyes darting from her eyes, to her mouth, to the hand at her wrist. He hadn't had enough time or light to really look at her last night, to memorize her. See how she'd changed in his absence, "You?"

"Good."

She smiled lightly and watched him return the gesture.

"Well," she said, looking around for a clock that wasn't there and moving back towards the door, "I have to go. It was nice seeing you again."

He opened his mouth but Liz was gone before he could reply.

-0-

She walked through the lobby, out the front door, down the street and into McDonald's in the haze before spotting Maria and sitting down.

"Where have you been," the blond asked before popping a fry into her mouth, "I've been waiting for like 5 minutes."

Liz sighed, "I got a bit side tracked."

"Well I only have about 20 minutes left for lunch but there's something I've got to tell you."

Liz looked at her with a blank face, already knowing what she was going to say but wanting to hear it anyway. Needing someone else to say it, to make it real, "What?"

Maria started twirling the end of one long lock anxiously, "You remember that guy you were," she furrowed her brow, "…friends with in high school?"

She nodded slightly and glanced out the window, "That's what side tracked me."

She turned back towards her friend and took in her surprised look, "I ran into him in the lobby."

The blond leaned in quickly and lowered her voice, "What happened?"

Liz leaned back and looked away before shrugging nonchalantly, "Nothing. We said hello then I left to come and meet you."

There was silence for a moment, "Nothing?"

She looked back at Maria, starting to get a little annoyed, "That's what I said."

She put her hands up and leaned away from her companion, "Well you two had something serious going on back then and then when he…," at Liz's sharp look she stopped.

"Look," she picked up quietly, "What happened between you two? There was something going on but you never really went into detail with me…"

"We were friends," she interrupted, no longer upset just tired.

"You know how sometimes you meet someone and they get you right from the beginning?"

Maria nodded.

"Well that's what it was like. We never," she stopped and thought before continuing, "It wasn't really like that between us."

Liz's friend sat back, "Well you're alright then?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

When it looked as though Maria was going to remark Liz leaned toward her and quickly spoke up, "Let's talk about your gig tonight."

The blond lit up like a candle and Liz smiled. She loved Maria, and she knew she loved her, but there was nothing the girl liked more than talking about her budding musical career.

"You're going to be there right?"

"Of course."

"You remember where it is?"

"Yes," Liz remarked with a smile; happy to see her friend so happy.

"You and James…"

"Hold on," she interrupted, "You know James doesn't do the club scene."

"Oh yeah," Maria replied slowly with faux surprise and Liz knew then she' been led right into a trap.

"He didn't even come to your promotion party."

"You know he took me to a very nice lunch inste…"

"He's a nice person but there's something up with h…"

"Because he hates clubbing?," they spoke over one another.

Maria shook her head, "It's not that exactly but I feel like there's something off with him."

"He's a nice guy."

"I know," she conceded.

"And I love him," Liz continued. Talking slowly so maybe this time her friend would understand that she didn't like having this conversation time and time again.

"And I'm happy about that. I just think you two don't really fit well together but," she said loudly when Liz started to intervene, "It's none of my business."

"Right."

"So I'll stay out of it."

They looked across the table at each other for a tense moment before Liz softened and smiled, "eleven right?"

"Yes," she responded while standing and gathering her trash onto a tray, "I gotta get back to work and I'll see you tonight chica."

Liz didn't turn to watch her walk out the door.

Roswell, New Mexico: 10 ½ years prior

He looked at her and felt his body tighten up.

"Come here," she repeated. Her voice was slightly deeper than normal, slower. He imagined that if molasses could talk, it would sound like that.

Everything in him wanted to move forward, take what he'd wanted her to offer for years but his feet wouldn't move. He stared across the Crash Down's employee lobby at her with desire and trepidation warring within.

Right now, fear had the edge.

It must have shown on his face because she was standing right in front of him before he had a chance to try and move away. Then she was pulling off her antennae and the rubber band holding her hair and he could smell the vanilla of her shampoo and the apples in her Be Delicious perfume and his head was swimming so he backed up only to be stopped by the wall.

She moved in closer with a smirk on her face, "You don't want it? You did the other day."

And he did today too, but the difference then had been his surety that she'd refuse him, just as she always did. The truth was he felt safe in her rejection. He'd make a play, she'd deny him and he'd go home to jerk off pathetically but still feel good about himself because, hey, at least he'd tried. She was the one saying no.

Only now she wasn't and he didn't feel quite so safe anymore.

This was different than making out with Pam in the back of her Corolla. This was Liz, his best friend. The person who knew all of the dirty and embarrassing and ugly things about him, the only person he trusted. The only person he'd ever loved that actually loved him back.

She put her hands against his chest, closed her eyes and went up on tippy toes. "Kiss me."

He looked down at her face and imagined actually going for it. Considered not letting the idea of a bad outcome stop him when it came to her for once but, for better or worse, he knew himself. He knew how he got about her, even now when the most they'd shared was a hug. He couldn't predict how he would react if they became more and the thought scared him.

If she saw all of him: how insecure he felt, how angry he got, how much he held onto her even though he pretended not to. If she knew how sometimes he couldn't breathe when he thought about how much he loved her, would she be scared away? The thought of all they could be tempted him but the knowledge of all they could lose kept him at bay.

She opened her eyes and looked at his face before stepping back and giving him some space. He watched the smile falter and, for the first time, could see her own fear peeking out from behind her bravado.

"You don't have to worry about us Max," she said slowly, voice faltering.

" You'll always be my best friend, I just…" she shook her head, searching for words.

"Sometimes just feeling it isn't en…"

He stepped forward quickly, no longer afraid because he now knew he wasn't the only one questioning this, and pulled her to him, "I know exactly how you feel."

With that last thought, he licked his, brushed her hair back from her face and…

Present Day

Max was startled out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder and was greeted by Alex Whitman's smiling face when he came back to the present.

"Where are you dude?," he asked, "Your phone's rung like 3 times."

He glanced down to see whose call he'd missed and tried to decide whether he wanted to deal with Michael or not when it vibrated again. He hesitated only a moment before picking it up without looking at the I.D.

"Hey."

"What's up Max?," Eliza asked.

He sighed, surprised to hear her voice, "Nothing really," he replied quietly, "Just on my lunch break. What's up with you?"

"Well," she dragged the word out and he knew he was going to be asked a favor but instead of feeling put out, he smiled slightly.

"What is it?"

"There's this singer I like whose performing tonight in Manhattan and I want to go see her but I don't wanna go by myself. I know you have work but I love her and I'll buy you a drink for your trouble," she continued quickly, trying to entice him.

His smile grew as he pictured her: blond hair, green eyes, willowy and tall, "That's all I'll get for my trouble?"

He could hear her smile through the phone with her reply. "We'll see how I feel when we get there. You're coming then?"

"Why not," he shrugged even though she couldn't see. They'd met in a bar 2 months ago and instead of ending the way his one night affairs usually did, he'd actually called the number she'd given him and brought her out to eat later the next day. They'd been…friends ever since, though he'd kept her at arm's length. He looked into the building and felt the smile slipping from his mouth as he saw Liz re-enter the lobby and look into the courtyard pensively.

He tensed up with focus and stared at her, not only fighting the urge he had to duck her gaze, then quit this job and move out of New York. But he also wanted to walk up to her, say sorry, that he'd always loved her and always would but neither of those were practical responses as Dr. Culling would say.

He could even hear the older man's voice in his head telling him to stay calm, count backwards from 10 in his mind and think logically. He couldn't walk up to someone he hadn't seen in 10 years professing his undying love, she'd think he was a nut and he'd probably get arrested. She hadn't seemed that excited when they'd spoken earlier either.

He also couldn't quit because this was where his life was now. He had an apartment, was enrolled in NYU and had responsibilities here. He couldn't just shrug them off. Even as he was telling himself these things, knowing they were obvious, he was unconsciously wringing his hands and staring at the petite brunette not a hundred feet away from him.

He closed his eyes and focused on taking deep breathes, in and out, in and out, until his heart slowed down, until he felt normal again.

When he opened them again Liz was gone. He stared at the spot he'd last seen her before raising the phone back up to his ear.

"…ello?"

"Sorry," he said quickly, "I zoned out for a minute. Do you want to meet there or go together?"

He could hear her hesitate before going on, "We can meet there if you'd like, are you okay?," she continued softly, confused by the abrupt change in his demeanor, "You sound different."

"I'm fine," he said quickly, "I was just out of it for a second."

He knew he was sending her mixed signals. Sleeping with her but never staying the night, running alternately hot and cold, flirting one moment and being distant the next. He wanted to stop, but found that he couldn't.

"You sure," she asked cautiously.

"I'll see you tonight," he replied instead of answering her question and hung up before she could ask again.