Part Six

Roswell, New Mexico: 10 Years Prior

"Where have you been lately?"

Liz contemplated pulling out of Kyle's grasp and walking away as if she'd never noticed him at all but decided not to. With a sigh, she turned toward him with a shrug, "The usual places."

His grip loosened into a caress. "I've been looking for you since last week. You kind of jumped out of the car without a backwards glance and I was worried…"

"No," she replied quickly, trying to look around the school parking lot and make sure no one was eavesdropping without letting him catch on. "I've just been caught up in a few things."

"Yeah I heard."

She tensed and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Something about your…friend Max and his dad."

She pulled away from him angrily. "I don't think it's very professional to tell your son things about other people that you've learned on the job," she said quietly while trying to make her way towards the schools front door.

He jumped in front of her, "my dad hasn't told me anything about what is or isn't going on over there." His face got a little softer then, "I've been hearing rumors though."

She folded her arms across her chest, "What kind?"

He shook his head, "About a fight with his dad."

"Well none of that stuff's true," she replied, her voice a full octave higher than what it normally was."Why don't you try and spread that around?"

"Alright," he said quietly, rubbing her shoulders, trying to calm her down. "I don't want to talk about that anyway, I want to talk about last week."

He looked down and smiled gently and she felt her heart beat faster for a moment. "I want to talk about that kiss."

"That was…" she searched her mind for an adjective and came up empty.

"Nice," he supplied for her and she remembered why she had started liking him last semester. When he wasn't around his stupid friends, he could be sweet. He was popular, funny, cute, and he liked her back. No hang up's, no baggage, and even though it hurt her to think it, those last two attributes were major pluses.

She looked at a point off in the distance beyond his right shoulder and shrugged, biting her lip against a smile. "I guess."

"We should go out tonight."

"I don't know…"

"Oh come on. Why not," he asked good-naturedly.

She looked at him and opened her mouth to reply before deciding against it.

His smile slipped and his face get serious. "Is something going on between you two," and he didn't need to explain who the other person he was talking about was because they both knew. "I hear a lot about…"

"No," she cut in. "There's nothing like that between us. We're just friends."

"Those kind of friends?"

She recoiled, "I don't sleep with him," Liz said, angry that he even thought he had the right to ask.

"I don't mean that kind of friend," he went on with a knowing smile and watched her grow red with embarrassment for a moment before continuing. "I meant that the relationship's complicated."

She wiped imaginary dust from her t-shirt. "Yeah, complicated is a good word it."

"Well I'm not asking you to run away with me. I just want us to show up at a movie at the same time."

She started to smile as he continued.

"Eat dinner at the same restaurant. We don't even have to share a table if you don't want to."

She smacked his arm playfully and he chuckled, "Come on, one more date and if everything goes smoothly, we'll talk about more later."

"Okay," she replied barely loud enough for him to hear.

"Okay," he repeated, "I'll pick you up at 8."

He turned to make his way into the building and she watched his back before running to catch up, "You've been different lately. You're always nice, don't get me wrong, but…there's something new about you."

She watched him study her before answering, "Well. I've been studying something lately that's been really calming."

She nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"I've been reading up on…Buddhism."

"Buddhism?"

"Buddhism," he confirmed, a big smile growing on his face, "and if you tell anyone I'll kill you."

She laughed, "Don't worry, if I can do anything it's keep a secret."

-0-

"You had fun then?"

Liz looked down at her feet before leaning further into the driver's side door and smiling, "Yes, I had a lot of fun. Who knew bowling was such a good time?"

"I did."

"Well I'm glad I let you show me."

They fidgeted for a few minutes in a somewhat awkward silence as Liz glanced down at her scuffed tennis again and contemplated her options. She could give him a pat on the back, a smile and go on her merry way though this was their third date and that might seem like a bit of a brush-off. She could kiss him even though she knew what he was hoping to happen between them and she wasn't sure about anything except that he was fun.

She glanced at his mouth from beneath her lashes quickly before looking away, still undecided.

Her final option was to invite him inside and… she shook that thought off immediately with a definite no.

"Well I'll see you at school tomorrow then?"

She looked back up smiling tightly and backing away from the truck, "Yeah. I'll see ya."

He watched her for a second, waiting, before nodding to himself and putting the truck in gear to pull off.

She watched him pulling away before something inside of her broke, something that wanted to be free of everyone and everything in her life, something scared and fragile that just wanted to feel…content. Max made her feel out of control, crazy, like there was something inside of herself that she had no control over. That only lived and breathed for the love and acknowledgment of him and that was unacceptable. Love like that, passionate all consuming love, didn't last.

It tore you apart then went on its way and the side of Liz that was all about self-preservation saw Kyle as a lifesaver. A sweet, good-looking guy that liked her. One who wasn't fucked up, one who had a nice father and made decent grades. Someone who, when she looked at him, didn't make her heart beat out of her chest, or her breath short. Just a nice boy who made her feel something even more elusive: Safe. Not physically, because Max would ever lay a hand on her, but emotionally. No angst, turmoil, or resentment, just niceties and the appeal of that stability was irresistible.

She was running behind the truck and waving for him to stop before she realized it and when he stopped the truck and stuck his head of the window to question her, she simply wrapped her fingers around his chin, pulled him forward and kissed him. She was dimly aware of him shifting the truck into park and of herself trying to climb further into the cab.

With more of his body available, she was able to really lean into the kiss and control it. He moaned and grabbed the front of her shirt trying to pull her further in but her feet were already barely on the ground and if she didn't get down there was going to be a nasty bruise across her stomach if how it was feeling right now was anything to go by. She gently pried his hands away and slid down before smiling wildly at his flushed shocked face.

"Why didn't you wait for me to open the door?"

She shrugged, feeling powerful, "It was a spur of the moment thing."

With that she turned on her heel as she walked back to The Crashdown with a smile, listening to him idle for a few seconds before putting the car in drive and taking off. She licked her lips and tried to sort out how she was feeling before feeling her grin slip when realizing, compared to how she had felt just being in Max's presence when he'd told her he felt…that.

It was nothing.

Nothing much at all.

Present

"Are you going to talk to him," James asked quietly, taking the dripping plate from her and drying it off before slipping it into the cabinet, "Max I mean."

"I don't know about all that."

"I think you should."

She looked at him, trying to urge him to continue speaking.

"You loved him once right? Well you never even told me his name before today so the fact that your seeing him got you to open up more to me is good right? It'll help you move on…"

"I have moved on," she replied curtly. "I live with you, I love you. Why are you trying to get me to reconcile with an ex."

"Because there are unresolved issues there. I don't even know half the story but I could tell. Why were you trying to run away from him with this Kyle guy in the first place?"

When she didn't respond he took that as evidence for his argument. "There was something there and you just wanted to pretend like there wasn't so you tried to go the easy way."

They were quiet for a second.

"Was that the end of you two? Is that how you broke it off?"

"Well…"

"When then?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she said and began to pace the small kitchen. "It was forever ago. I can't even remember."

She looked up into his sweet empathetic face.

"You're pacing Liz," he walked over and put his hands on her shoulders to stop her. "I just think maybe you should talk to him. He was your friend first right?"

She nodded.

"Well remember those times instead of the dating ones and that might make it easier. I want you to be happy for your party next month."

"Understand this James," she said, leaning into his touch but never looking away from his eyes, "I'll be happy whether I speak to him or not."

"So you'll talk with him then?"

She groaned and he smiled before giving her a friendly pat on the back, "It's for the best honey."

-0-

Liz mulled the conversation over on the subway ride into Manhattan, on the walk to work, on the elevator ride up to her lab and she was still thinking it over sitting at her desk four hours later when her phone rang.

"Hello Liz. Are you on your way?"

It took her a moment to recognize her mother's voice, "Where?"

"The restaurant; we were supposed to eat lunch together today remember?"

She ignored the older woman's exasperated tone and squeezed her eyes shut while rubbing her temple.

"It completely slipped my mind but I'm on my way right now."

"Get here soon," she replied before hanging up and Liz could practically hear her lips pursing.

She sighed before getting up, pulling off her white coat and pulling on a light jacket. She hesitated for a second before walking down the hall and getting in the elevator, she would see Max down there today, just like she did everyday but today, she was going to ask to go to lunch with her and…reminisce.

She thought about what the best method to go about this was. Would he be freaked out that a girl he hadn't thought about in a decade wanted to go to lunch with him? Would he find her pathetic for still thinking about them so many years later?

She rubbed her temple again and put those thoughts from her mind, all she could do was ask. The worst he could say was no and tell everyone back home how desperate she was but since Liz had no plans of returning there any time soon that didn't really bother her.

Best case scenario, he said yes, they have a nice lunch and they go their separate ways. She nodded her head with resolve and tried to slow her heart when the doors slid open onto the lobby.

She stepped out with purpose and turned to walk toward where she'd nodded her hellos to him everyday for the past 2 weeks and found the worksite deserted. She stopped with a confused look before continuing forward and opening the doors into the newly redone green space.

The newly redone and seemingly completed green-space.

-0-

The sharp snap brought her eyes from the window facing out of the nice but not too nice restaurant to her mothers tight face. "Have you been listening to me at all dear?"

"Yes," she replied, sitting up straighter, it was funny how at 26, practically 27, she was still that 17 year old girl around her parents.

"Well then, you'll consider it then?"

"Of course I will," she replied hastily, "remind me about what I'm considering again."

Her mother narrowed her eyes. "Coming home for Christmas."

Liz felt herself rolling her eyes at the old question.

"I know you don't like the circumstances of your departure but your stepfather would really like to see you. You know he's sick and can't fly, he hasn't seen you in 10 years."

She brushed her hair back and looked away. Maybe it was time to go back to Roswell. If she was willing to try working through whatever lingering issues she had with Max, why couldn't she go home and try to forgive and forget her issues with the city of her youth?

"Liz…"

"I'll think about it."

"You say that every year," her mother replied and took a sip of water.

Liz watched her face and noticed how drawn and weary it was. How the last two years of her stepfathers illness had aged her 15. They were getting older and even though they'd been hard on her, Liz knew her parents loved her.

Even if they never said so.

"Well I mean it this year."

There must have been something in her face because instead of arguing, Nancy simply nodded before glancing at her watch.

"I'm going to fly out soon so I'll call you when I get there."

They both stood and hugged before exiting the restaurant. Liz helped her catch a taxi and watched it drive away before turning to make her way back to the office.

-0-

"Hello?"

She'd just gotten back to Pfizer and turned toward the tall, skinny, vaguely familiar man speaking to her with a soft smile.

"Yes?"

"My names Alex" he stuck out his hand and she grasped it, "I think I worked on the green space at your building."

"Yes," she said smiling wider, "I knew you looked familiar but I couldn't place you."

"Yeah you too," he replied, returning her grin, "Well I recognized your face and I just wanted to see if you were the same girl."

She nodded as he turned to walk away before she stopped him suddenly.

"There was a man named Max, Maxwell Evans," she clarified, "That worked with you and I went to speak to him but it looks like the projects done."

He nodded, "Yeah, we're finished."

"It's beautiful by the way," she complimented.

He beamed, "Thank you."

"Well anyways, I was wondering if you had his contact info or anything…"

"Well it would be against the law for me to give that out to you."

"I know," she replied quickly, "but we were friends when we were younger and I just wanted to get back in touch with him. I swear I'm not a stalker," she added quickly.

"I'm sure most stalkers say that."

She kept quiet because there was really no response to that.

He smiled, "I know you're not a stalker, I would give you the information if I had it but I don't. All that stuff's sent to the head office when an employee leaves the company."

"He quit?"

"No. He's only a temp worker though and he's not on call right now."

She sighed, "Alright then. Thank you for your help though."

She was walking away when he called out, "He goes to this park around here sometimes, something with an H. You might be able to find him there."

She smiled brightly, excited again, "I think I know what you're talking about. Thanks."

She didn't wait to hear his response before blowing out the door, crossing the street and making her way towards the park.

-0-

Liz stood behind him sweaty and completely frozen.

She'd run/walked to the park and searched for a good 20 minutes before spotting him off in a shady private corner.

"Happy birthday, birthday boy."

She watched him tense up at her call and slowly made her way over to stand in front of him.

There was silence for a moment as they appraised one another.

"Did I startle you?"

"When?"

"Just now," I didn't mean to scream like that…it just came out."

She watched him watch her with a gentle intensity before turning away and breaking the contact. "No," he replied and when she looked back he was concentrating on the ham and cheese sandwich in his hand.

"You didn't startle me."

She moved and sat next to him on the bench leaving a good bit of space between them.

"It's not my birthday anyway."

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and saw a small smile, "it was a little while ago."

"Yours is coming up soon."

She knew he meant something else by that comment but couldn't decipher its true meaning, "sure is."

"The big 27."

"Ten years."

He turned fully towards her then and she mimicked his pose.

"Too long."

He had that same intense stare from earlier, from when they were kids and he was trying to read her, trying to see some truth inside her that she didn't even know about yet. Everything in her wanted to deny him that piece of the past. That ability he had to look through her with one glance, to turn away from him and kill that part of them.

That connection they shared that would not seem to go and die peacefully.

Instead, she smiled and nodded. "Yeah, too long."