AN: WOW. Sorry guys. I haven't really done much since the last time I was here. TOO BUSY WRITING! :) But anyways, this is the next part of 40 YoA. Enjoy :)

"Bella?" Kelly called. Kelly is Jacob's wife. Imprinted wife, I should say. The one that he'll love unconditionally. No matter what she did in the past or the future, he'll still love her. I can't help but think that I've influenced him. I still remember the day Jacob imprinted.

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"BELLA!" Jacob shouted, the boom of his voice made the house shake as if Forks had a sudden thunder of rain. Or a snowstorm for that fact.

"What? Jacob, calm down!" I was used to saying that after I found out that he was a werewolf. Whenever he got mad or excited, he would phase and the end result being, me replacing everything in the house. I honestly don't know how many time I've done that. But either way, I'm not the one controlling when he's going to phase. If he doesn't want to stay human, I can't force him.

"Bella! Promise me. Promise me to pinch me as hard as you could. Please!" He pleaded on the calmest voice he could possibly manage.

"What? Have you finally lost your mind? I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. Not even when you plead with me." He really is insane. Why would I want to pinch him anyway?

"Please Bella. Please tell me that this is not a dream. Not one of those where brilliant, fantastic things happen to you, and you wake up to find that dark miserable truth. Please. Just help me make sure. And plus, you won't hurt me. Hurry up and do it!" He said. And so I pinched him. And when I did, he laughed. And when I say laughed, I mean howled. I think the ground was shaking all the way down to La Push.

"Oh my god. It's true! Yes!" And he picked up from the floor and lifted me over his shoulders. He spun round and round until I jerked my foot to his side. And with a single, playful "ow" from him, he let me down on the floor. I straightened out my clothing and frowned at him.

"What now? Did you get a new engine? Or is it because Billy finally agreed to let you have your own truck? What is it?" I pressed.

"Bella, listen extremely carefully." Jacob's face was suddenly serious. That playful smirk was taken over by a sweep of anticipation.

"I. Imprinted."

And I collapsed. All along, I thought that Jacob would be my personal sun for the rest of my life. And even though I still couldn't forget "him", I had Jacob. And for so long, I was so sure that he would be here whenever I need him, and he'll always be waiting in the wings. More or less, it wasn't fair to him. I treated him as my back up, as a person who would patiently wait until I would give him the time of day. Well, I guess I thought wrong.

Why do I feel like this? I should be happy that Jacob's found his love, I should be happy because he's happy. I should be happy that in the future, I won't have to bear the name of the person that ruined my best friend's life. Billy's right. Imprinting really is the most powerful thing. Imprinting is a state of mind where it overlooks everything, over the years of waiting he's done, and over the amount of times I felt his heartbeat next to mine. In so many ways, this is exactly what should happen, I know for a fact that I can't make him stay, I knew that from the beginning. So why did it hurt like this when this was all I wanted from the beginning? Why? Why do I feel unwanted when I was never desired in the first place?

"Bella? Say something please, anything." He said, the euphoria from his realization had died down, and was replaced by a sudden tinge of concern.

"Congrats, Jake. If anyone should imprint next, it's you. Congrats." After I said this, neither of us dared to break the silence. This is the first time I realized how silence is conveyed by most. I thought I was used to it. After months of silence, otherwise screams - I thought I could handle it. Ever since I starting spending time in La Push, laughter surrounded me. I was happy. I haven't found myself, but I was close. It was close enough that could find myself smiling more and more. But while that was going on in my mind, I was losing "him" more and more. It was as if every time I smiled, he would disappear a little more, I would forget the way the lines around his eyes would crease when he was concerned. I didn't want to lose anything that reminded me of him. So I left La Push.

"Bella, you don't look like you're happy... What's wrong? Did you have a dream again?"

"Jake, I lo....no, it's doesn't matter." I was so close to saying it. I begged myself to have the strength to do that, but I can't. I don't think I can ever say that to anyone else other than him.

"Bella. Are you sure? It sounded like it was pretty important.

"Yes, I'm fine. Silly Jacob. I'm just.... shocked. But happy for you." I rebutted. There comes the silence again. And for once, it wasn't welcomed. I didn't want silence, I wanted laughter, I wanted words to express how I felt about him.

"Jake, listen, I have to go. I have something else to do." While I grabbed my bag and headed out the door, I felt myself break all over again.