Chapter 12: Two Sides Of The Same Coin
The sunlight was warm on her face. Hermione stretched and rolled towards the spot where the sunlight hit her bed. She was so comfortable, so warm and so happy she felt like she was glowing that she regretted having to open her eyes, so she lay there still for another few minutes just drinking the morning in.
Last night had been wonderful…she couldn't even describe how she felt, her heart was bursting. She touched the locket against her chest and held it, thinking him. There was a longing deep inside her, she wanted him – needed him – in a way she hadn't ever felt before. Maybe it was her sleep drunk thoughts telling her this or maybe just the unsatisfied lust from last night, but she knew…more than anything…that she wanted to make love to Draco Malfoy.
And this time, she wanted to remember it.
She thought of that night, a while ago now, and thought of him…but there was another memory from that night that she didn't want to remember, she wanted to forget. That memory needed to be buried deep down or, no…it needed to be set in concrete and then thrown to the bottom of the great lake.
The lake…it had happened by the lake, she felt ill every time she looked at those shining waters. And this bed too…he had forced her to do things in this bed. Suddenly she was wide awake and sprung out of bed, angry at it as if the bed itself had betrayed her.
Why did HE still have such a power over her…that red-headed, two-faced, prick…that, "BASTARD" she said allowed to the empty room and startled herself.
He shouldn't have anything over her now; she never even talked to him now. She was cleverer than him, braver than him, and if she could land Draco Malfoy (supposed Slytherin Sex God) then she was obviously sexier than him. He didn't have anything that she didn't have.
But…what could she do about it? It's not like she could change the past and she had no proof of what he had done to her, no proof that he had…had…raped her…
She was helpless again. She couldn't do anything, she couldn't punish him.
A wave of nausea overpowered her and she sprinted into her bathroom and retched up bile. A tear rolled down her face and landed in the bowl, she was pathetic and she was lonely.
The sun streamed across the tiles in her bathroom floor where she lay. Crying, she wished that someone cared that she wasn't alone…that she was in someone's thoughts besides her own. It occurred to her that she needed to get up, go to class and live life. She pulled herself up to the counter, washed her face and brushed her teeth. Then, she walked back into her bedroom.
Suddenly, she felt warmth next to her chest. Hermione jumped and felt with her hand between her breasts, pulling out the locket. It twinkled innocently, still warm in her hands.
How odd?
She opened it and unfolded the little paper to read:
You're always there
When I close my eyes
She read it again, and again…a smile spreading across her tear streaked face. And once again, Hermione was glowing.
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Hermione chewed her lip and stared out the window, god she just wanted classes to be over for today.
"Ms Granger"
She wondered if she would be able to see Draco tonight, maybe she should send him a message…
"Ms. Granger…:
Hermione looked up quickly, "y-yes sorry professor?"
"I have called on you to answer this question, what's wrong with you girl?"
"Oh…sorry, um could you repeat that?" She heard a sort of stifled-snort laugh coming from her left and looked around sharply to see Ron a few rows away from her silently chuckling.
White hot anger seared inside of her. Hermione wanted to get up in the middle of the class room and send all the books in the room pelting towards him…no, she wanted to set all of the Transfiguration classroom animals on him or –
"Ms. Granger!"
Hermione jumped and looked up, her mouth hanging open stupidly…she didn't know what to say
"Ms. Granger I've had enough of this, you will speak to me after class."
Hermione nodded meekly as McGonagall turned back to the blackboard. Ron was still chuckling to himself…that arrogant asshole.
"PST… Hermione" Lavender Brown was leaning towards her holding a crumpled piece of paper.
She reached out and took it, "who's it from?" she whispered back
Lavender nodded towards Ron, who was stealing glances at her as she opened the note.
You ready to apologize? I think I've given you enough time to think about your mistakes. Meet me tonight on the Quiddich pitch. If you do I'm sure Harry and Ginny will be prepared to forgive you too.
R
What the fuck.
She could scream. She could jump at him, rip out all his stupid red hair and stab him to death with her quill. But she couldn't, she was in class…there were too many witnesses. She could feel his eyes on her but she would not look around at him again. Instead she clenched and unclenched her fists on her desk, waiting desperately for the class to end.
When it did finally end, Hermione took her time putting away her books and quills and then as the last few people were leaving the classroom she approached McGonagall's desk.
"Professor I'm really really sorry about today…I don't know what's wrong with me, I-"
"Sit down Ms. Granger" McGonagall conjured a chair up and Hermione sat nervously. She peered down at Hermione over her spectacles and was silent for a minute, "Are you alright? Is anything wrong…" she asked in a warmer tone
Hermione wanted to cry, "uh…No, nothing's wrong"
"You've been distracted for weeks and not that I take any particular interest in the social activities of students but it seems as though you are spending less time with Potter and Weasley"
Hermione simply nodded what else could she say to that?
"Almost no time with them in fact…"
"We had a uh…a bit of a falling out"
"I see"
"Yes…"
"Well, I just hope you work out your problems…it's not healthy to be alone so much"
"Yeah well…I don't know whether that's going to happen"
McGonagall nodded sympathetically, "alright well…off you go to your next class"
Hermione got up, smiling weakly and left with a vague "thank you"
She pelted down the deserted hallway, her eyes swimming with tears, barely able to see where she was going. Taking a quick left, she pushed open the door to the girls' bathroom and ran into a stall, locking it behind her.
She put the lid down on the toilet and sat there, crying and heaving huge heavy sobs. God what a mess everything had become…all she wanted was a few friends. She remembered the last time she had run crying into a bathroom about Harry and Ron. That had been in her first year…and then a troll had shown up.
So maybe it was time to get out of here.
Letting out a deep breath, Hermione emerged from the stall and went to the sink to wash her face. All she wanted was to talk to someone, to tell them what really happened, even if nothing could be done. She couldn't have told McGonagall…she just needed a friend.
Suddenly an idea struck her. She dug around her bag for a quill and then pulled the locket out from beneath her shirt, opened it and wrote: I need to talk to you
A reply came back, she felt the warmth of the locket and opened it to read: About what?
I just need you, please? She wrote back and closed the locket
A second later the response was: Sure, are you ok? Where?
She thought and wrote: Our spot, the fountain on the 7th floor
See you there He replied
What now? She thought. It would mean missing charms, but who cares really? She had already read the lesson topics for weeks ahead, and she needed to see Draco…she needed a friendly face.
So, she set off for the 7th floor.
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As usual, the room was as hot as a sauna. Draco lay along the edge of the fountain, his shirt unbuttoned and eyes closed. What could be so urgent that Hermione was prepared to miss class for?
And what was he doing anyway? Allowing himself to get so tangled up in her that he may never be able to be free of her again…he thought of her arrogance, her stubbornness, her courage…her kindness…her smile. Maybe he didn't want to be free of her?
Why couldn't he have it all? Why couldn't he save his family? Keep his wealth and status? And still have her.
Well of course he knew why, she was a mudblood…but what if he succeeded in his task? Would Voldemort allow him to keep Hermione?
Unlikely. He shouldn't be so attached, he shouldn't really care. Yah she was good fun, easy to talk to and maybe one day she'd let him fuck her again.
But…if he didn't really care then why did his chest ache at the thought of losing her?
God it was hot. He sat up and scooped some water into his hands to splash on his face. At that moment he heard a tiny sob from behind him and looked up, dripping.
Hermione stood there in her despair…as beautiful and terrible as ever. Her long curls frizzed out in all directions, her robes were disheveled and her eyes were red.
Draco stood up at once and pulled her into him, feeling her heave with sobs and her tears trailing down her cheeks onto his chest.
"Hermione" he whispered her name, "shhh…Hermione don't cry"
She let out a wail and pulled away from him to sit down on the ground. He sat too and reached for her. Her head in his lap, he stroked her hair and let her cry herself out.
"Hermione" he tried again after she had been quiet for a few minutes, "what happened"
"It's not what happened. It's just everything that happened coming together again"
He didn't really understand this, "did someone say something to you?" he paused, "do something?"
She nodded
"Someone hurt you?"
She nodded again
White hot anger boiled up inside him, but he took a deep breath and tried to remain calm…he needed to be calm for her. "Who?"
Hermione sat up and wiped her tear stained face. He snaked his arms around her waist and she leaned back against his legs.
"It's alright" he said quietly, lacing his fingers with hers
It wasn't alright; she had to tell someone…she needed someone to tell her what to do.
"Do you remember the night we uh…the night you had that party?"
"Yah"
"And you remember that before I joined it I was out with Ron, taking a walk around the lake"
"Weasley" Draco growled, clenching his fist that wasn't holding Hermione's hand and sitting up a little straighter. He would kill him, he would kill him in the most painful way he could think of, and he would-
"That night, when you found me…my dress was all ripped"
He remembered it well; she hadn't wanted to talk about it. He had figured Weasley had just pushed her a bit too far and at the time…he didn't care that much, that was their business and he wasn't going to get involved. But now, now Hermione was his business.
"He…he" Hermione gulped and took another breath
"Did he force you into stuff?"
She nodded
"Did he…Hermione, did he rape you?" the cruel word stuck in his mouth, he felt sick saying it
"yes." She said "Ron raped me."
What a relief. To finally say the word…Rape, he raped her. Ron Weasley had raped her. He was wrong, he was evil and he had raped her. Such fear had over powered her to say it…as if admitting it would make the whole thing more real, make her relive it. She looked at Draco who was trying to maintain calm but was turning red and breathing heavily.
She smiled up at him, she felt free as if a giant weight had been lifted off her chest. Admitting it made her free of it and she could breathe again.
"You have to report him. You have to tell someone, he had to pay for this." Draco jumped to his feet, "I'll make him pay."
"No don't!" Hermione cried, hastily getting to her feet, "just leave it…it's over, it happened a while ago now"
"Hermione don't you get it? He can't get away with this"
"Yes Draco, he can…and he did"
"Don't you want him to hurt the way he hurt you"
"Yes but -"
"What's the problem then?!"
"It doesn't matter, I don't matter"
He softened and stepped towards her, "how can you say you don't matter?" His hand stroking away the tears that were now falling from her beautiful brown eyes again
"I don't. I don't even like myself so how can I expect anyone else to care" tears were pouring silently down her face and the pained look in Draco's eyes broke her heart
"Of course you matter and of course people care. You're amazing Hermione Granger…the cleverest, funniest, most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on and you're worth 1000 Potters and 10000000 Weasleys."
He didn't know what he was saying all he knew was that somewhere, deep inside him, something had burst. Hermione was so many things to him but now, as she told him her darkest secret, he couldn't help himself. She was everything he wanted and more than he deserved, something powerful overcame him and he wanted to be with her forever…never let her go. What was it…could it be? He had never truly felt it before but he couldn't deny that this burning in his chest was something more…it was love.
"How can you even say that? You don't even like me" Hermione hiccupped, not really believing her words…but not really believing his either
"You're right. I don't like you, you can't annoy me so much I want to scream, you're an irritating little know it all and sometimes I even hate you"
Her world was crashing down around her, how could he say that? She wanted to run, she wanted to die.
But he pulled her into him, running his hands through her hair, leaning his face down to hers, whispering "but hate and love are two sides of the same coin darling, but so are we and I love you."
She wanted to sing, she wanted to shout it from the roof tops. A burst of happiness rose up inside her and she knew she could never be hurt again, he loved her and she loved him. "I love you too." She whispered
He tipped his head back and laughed, scooping her up and swinging her around. She screamed in jubilation. He sat on the edge of the fountain with her on his lap and looked down into her shining face. Love. Pure and simple.
He leaned down and their lips met in a tangle of need and desire. He sucked on her lips and ran his tongue along the entrance to her mouth, she opened it and allowed him to explore it, her own tongue dancing with his; her arms snaking around his neck and through his hair, she let out a little moan and he was overcome with such desire as he pulled her fiercely into him that he lost his balance and they went tumbling into the pool of the fountain.
Water overcame them, soaking them to their skin. Hermione was laughing and treading water, reached for him again.
"I love you" he whispered
"I love you" she whispered back
"I love you!" he shouted
"I love you!!!!" she screamed
"I-" He began but she covered his mouth with her own to shut him up.
She kissed him passionately, her like bruising as she smashed them together with his, their tongues gliding in and out of each other.
Still in the water, he pushed her gently up against the sliding of the fountain and she wrapped her leg around his waist. Their wet hair and cloths floating around them, he used one hand to hold them in place on the wall, the other to stroke her hair, to run across her check, to cup her breasts.
She let out a tiny moan as he snuck his hand underneath her underwater shirt and he cupped her breast in his palms, running his fingers over her nipples. She moaned again and his mouth left hers to trail kisses along her jaw line and down her neck, stopping to suck the nape of her neck and then to kiss across her shoulders. He loved every part of her, the smell and the taste of her skin.
His hand trailed down lower, gliding over her tummy to the waist band of her skirt and as he became to let his hand slide past it he felt her hand on his.
"Stop" she whispered
And Draco did, reluctantly… "I hate you" he growled playfully
"Not now" Hermione smiled, kissing him again, "I have to go beat up Ron"
He smiled back at her, looking deep into her shining eyes. "I love you."
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A/N: woot woot! They finally said it and Hermione's got her strength back!!!!
Please please please read and review to let me know how you're liking my story it would be much appreciated to know if you guys are enjoying it or if you think that there's anything I should include in this story that you aren't seeing
I'll try to update a few more times before I leave for school. Thanks for reading!
xoxoxox charlito