Chapter 15: Inside Me

"Draco Sodding Malfoy."

"How the hell did you get in here?"

"Granger let me in" replied Blaise, closing Draco's bedroom door on Hermione's curious face peering out from the common area.

"Look Blaise, I don't really have the time right now, I've got to-"

"Cut the bull shit" Blaise hissed angrily, "I know you've been avoiding me and this. We have to carry out the Dark Lord's orders"

Draco threw down his quill onto his desk; it was true he had been avoiding Blaise and this suicide mission, "Don't be an idiot, you know that no one's expecting use to succeed"

"Either way, we still need some sort of plan" replied Blaise, pacing around the room, "We can't do it alone, and there's only so much help we can expect from some of the Slytherins. I think we need to get some deatheaters into the school"

"Ok…"

"and then, I was thinking, we could set off the dark mark at the top of north tower and send someone to tell Dumbledore, only Dumbledore, and the old fool would run up there and we could corner him and-"

"Dumbledore's one of the most powerful Wizards of all time, what makes you think we could corner him!?"

"Prey on his weaknesses?"

"What weaknesses?"

"Potter."

"What the fuck does Potter have to do with it?!"

"Shut up! Keep your voice down- Granger could be listening"

"I don't know sounds kind of risky…"

"What do you mean risky?"

"Well, inviting deatheaters into a school full of kids?"

"Fuck risky man, once this is over we will be the most respected deatheaters ever" Blaise's eyes shone.

"Right…" Draco muttered

He knew perfectly well why it would be risky, because some idiots would figure out what they were trying to do and attempt to stop them and those idiots would probably be Potter and his gang. Those idiots would probably include Hermione.

When Hermione had approached the entrance to her dormitory she had not expected Blaise Zabini to be waiting outside of it. She also hadn't expected him to flash her a charming smile and ask if she could let him in to see Draco.

"Why won't he let you in?" she asked, smiling hesitantly back

"I don't think he's exactly fond of me right now" chuckled Blaise

"Lover's quarrel?" she joked as she lead him into the common room

"I wouldn't come between you, don't worry" he winked and went into Draco's room, closing the door behind him

What was all that about, she wondered, had Draco told him something? She walked slowly into her room, trying to catch what Draco and Blaise were saying to each other.

Giving up, she closed her bedroom door behind her and began to strip off her school robes. She was wearing a tee-shirt and sweatpants underneath. It wasn't like Hermione to dress down so much but she hadn't been able to button most of her pants recently. She curled up on her bed and let the world crash down on her again.

When she was in class it was easier to ignore it, revel in the revenge on Ron, talk to her old friends. When she was with Draco she didn't let it distract her, he would kiss her tummy and say he didn't notice anything.

But she had noticed, and when she was alone she could deny it. Being sick, sore breasts, missing periods, and engorged belly – what else could it be?

She was pregnant.

She was pregnant and she didn't know whose it was, her rapist or her lover's?

She placed her hands on her stomach and pretended she could feel it inside her, knowing perfectly well it was still too little for that. What a tiny thing inside her it must be, and either way it was still a part of her, it didn't matter whose it was because it was still hers.

"You're inside me, no one else." She whispered to the empty room

She thought of a little baby with flaming red hair, wouldn't she think of what had happened every time she looked at it?

But she didn't know whether she could bring herself to get rid of it either?

First things first though, she had to find out whether or not she was actually preggers. She desperately wanted to keep it a secret but knew that the responsible thing to do was to at least go to the school nurse and hope that Madame Pomfrey wasn't one for gossip.

She would go tomorrow or maybe on Monday?

A sigh escaped her lips as she closed her eyes, that's what she had told herself yesterday and the day before that…if she was going to go through with this she had to make this first step happen. She had to go see the nurse and she had to do it now.

"Alright," Madame Pomfrey bustled into the sick bay where Hermione sat, twisting her hair nervously, "What seems to be the trouble? I must say nothing appears to be wrong with you"

"Would you mind shutting the curtain please?" she didn't want anyone to see her or perhaps overhear what she was going to have to said

"there." The nurse slid the curtain behind her and crossed her arms impatiently, "come one girl, what's going on?"

Hermione inhaled, she didn't want to say it out loud…saying it out loud meant it was real, "Well, I didn't know who else to go to about this? So I thought, well you're in the medical field, and I'm sure your trust worthy and everything but I just want to say that um…." She looked up into the nurse's expecting face, "I'm pregnant."

Madame Pomfrey concealed her shock well Hermione thought. She didn't know whether the nurse was more shocked that one of the students had gotten pregnant or that she was the student, the head girl after all, that had been the one.

"I considered termination" Hermione added quickly, "but I just…didn't know whether…" she trailed off, she didn't know why saying this would help, perhaps she was hoping the nurse would try and convince her either way on the matter.

"Who is the father?" Madame Pomfrey asked, trying to keep her voice even

"Well, um…I'd rather not say"

"Alright, but I do need to know… is the father is a pureblood?"

She considered the two men in question. Draco was obviously a pure blood and as much as most wizards considered the Weasleys blood traitors that didn't change the fact that Ron was also a pureblood too. "Yes" she replied tentatively, what did that have anything to do with it?

The nurse sat down on the bed next to her, an uncommon look of sympathy in her eyes, "then I'm sorry to tell you dear, but this means you cannot terminate your pregnancy"

"wh-why? Why should the father's blood status matter? I thought we lived in a society where legally that's not supposed to matter?"

"Honestly, I agree with you. But there's a fairly old law that was made in order to persevere and continue the magical race and it states that if the child has either parents of pureblood status it cannot be terminated during pregnancy"

Hermione nodded, absorbing this information. It was settled then…she had to have this baby.

"I'm sorry to have to do this Granger but because of this and because you are head girl I am going to have to report this to the headmaster"

"r-right" Hermione mumbled, her eyes swimming with tears, what had she let herself get into

"He will probably wish to speak to you about it."

Hermione nodded, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks.

"Don't worry girl, I have to say in my time I've seen many a girl come through here in the same sort of situation. You're a seventh year right? Almost done here anyway and no one will think any the less of you once it's all over with. Have you told the father?"

Hermione shook her head

"And how far along are you?"

"I'm not too sure, I think the actual uh, event, happened at the end of September"

"Well, you are starting to show a bit now…so it won't be long until people start asking. Perhaps you should talk to this boy first"

"Maybe"

Madame Pomfrey put a comforting arm around her, "the Holiday dance is coming up… why don't you use this as s time to relax and have fun but then tell your friends? Make things a bit easier."

"Yah…"

"Alright, well…I'm going to get you some prenatal potions and write a quick letter to the headmaster, you lie down her and collect yourself for a bit…there you are, have a little rest"

Hermione lay back on the bed and smiled a meek smile at Madame Pomfrey as she closed the curtain on her.

What was she going to do now? She was trapped, there was no way out of having this baby and there was no way she was going to be able to hide this from the whole school for very long. Draco was a smart cookie, and even Ron knew at least a little of what could be going on. Both would figure out she was pregnant, both would figure out how far along she was and both would figure out the math to determine that they had slept with her and could be potential fathers to her unborn child.

Draco knew the full extent of what had happened that night and that she had slept with both of them, he didn't think any the less of her for it. But would he if he found out she could be pregnant with Ron's baby? And if everyone else found out that he could be the father he would be put in so much danger. She thought of his father, Voldemort, his friends…her friends. They would all stop at nothing to destroy him for it.

Whereas Ron had no idea she had slept with Draco that night. He would either find out that she had slept with Draco as well that night and then kill her, or, he would think he was the only possible father candidate, and assume the baby was his.

She didn't know which was worse.

She couldn't live without Draco and she couldn't live with Ron…but what would be worse? A world without Draco would surely be so much more unbearable than putting up with Ron, pretending that the baby was defiantly his.

She could pretend, she could protect Draco… perhaps Dumbledore would be able to shed some light on all of this, but she didn't know if she could even trust the wise old man.

She ran her hands over her slightly protruding belly, she needed to protect them…Draco and this baby, whosever's baby it was inside her. She was going to protect them.

A/N: I'm sorry it's been so long!

I hope you've enjoyed this chapter! I've finally addressed her potential pregnancy, now whose is it?! Any guesses? Poor Hermione has sooo much to worry about.

I'll try and update again when I go on Christmas break in mid December so check back with me then!

xoxoxoxo charlito