Gibbs put his car in park out front of Abby's apartment. He had seen her car in the lot around the corner, behind her building, so he knew she was still here. He quickly got out of the car and headed inside. Right outside her door he hesitated. It had been so long since he had been here, since he had talked, really talked, to her. Now he was finding it hard to find a reason why it lasted so long. Gathering up his courage, but not knowing what to say, he knocked on her door. He was rather surprised when she answered it right away. She was surprised as well to see him standing there.
"Gibbs," she said as light as a breath. "What are you doing here?" He looked behind her at all the boxes piled up. She turned to see what he was looking at and sighed. "Oh." Looking back at him, he met her gaze. She stepped aside to let him enter. "I know, you're mad-".
"No," he said cutting her off. Looking around he saw just about everything was packed and ready to go.
"No, what?" she asked sounding genuinely confused. "You're…not mad? Furious?"
"Disappointed."
"God, Gibbs that's worse."
Gibbs sat on a section of her couch that didn't have boxes on it. Tony had told him she wasn't coming back, and he believed him, whether he wanted to or not, but seeing her place like this, it made it more real than he was imagining. She was really going to go. Leave him without even a note. What was he doing here? She didn't want him here. He sat forward and rubbed his hands over his face. But she was going to leave! He couldn't let her do that. Not without him saying what he had to say first. But what was he going to say?
He felt the couch shift and knew she was moving boxes to make room for herself next to him. He knew he was right when she sat down and rested her head against his shoulder. He relished in the feeling of having her so close. It had been too long since he had been close like this to her. No hugs, no cheek kiss, no conversation. "I missed you, Gibbs."
He moved his arm so it was wrapped around her shoulder and pulled her close. "I missed you, Abby." He pressed his lips to the side of her head in her hair. The smell that he had been unable to even wash out of his pillows filled his nose and he closed his eyes. He knew he had a lot to say, but at the moment, he just wanted to breathe.
Abby snuggled closer into him, wrapping an arm around him as well. She had been afraid he would come. She knew Tony wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut. A part of her was kind of hoping for it. A small part. The rest of her wanted to get away clean, without the messy argument or shouting or tears or whatever else would get thrown at her. That same small part, though, told her she deserved it. That she had asked for all of this and she should reap what she sows.
But it felt so nice to have his arm around her again. So warm, loving, caring, protective. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry and that she didn't really want to leave and if he asked her to stay, she would. But she couldn't. She knew she couldn't. Just like she wanted to reach out and kiss him, but couldn't. Or, better yet, shouldn't. Things weren't going to be the same anymore. It was never going to get back to normal. She knew McGee was on the verge of leaving and Tony…well, he jut seemed on the verge of anything since Ziva left. She knew it was going to be tough on all of them at first, but eventually they would fall back into a normal routine and the happy would be restored. She would continue to keep in contact with them, of course, but they would all eventually move on. Such was life.
"I need to finish getting ready," Abby said softy, but not making any move to pull away from him.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered so closely to her ear she almost thought it was in her head.
"I knew you would be upset. I knew that you would try to talk me into staying."
"You were right. I am going to talk you into staying." This time she did pull away and stood up.
She walked over a few boxes and turned back to him. "I'm not staying, Gibbs. I have this new job. They already know I'm coming. I can't back out now."
Gibbs didn't know what to say to that. She already had a job lined up and ready for her? "Fine, but you'll listen to what I have to say." She crossed her arms as he stood from the couch. "I was the one who said those words to you. You were the one who backed out. I tried giving you time, I tried talking to you, but you avoided me. It was hard for me to see you look at me like that, when you bothered to look at me at all. So I started giving you what you wanted, which wasn't me. I sent down McGee or," he bit back the sourness of the name, "DiNozzo, to get the results from you. But it seemed that was the wrong thing to do, too. I hated not being able to pick up the damn phone and call you or bring you your Caf-Pow!. I missed your hugs and even that music you insist on playing at ear shattering levels." That caused a small chuckle to escape her lips. "I missed your laugh," her smile faded, "and your smile." He moved around the boxes to stand right in front of her. "Abby, I love you." She looked down and he placed his hands on her face to look at him. "I know you don't want me to say it, but I love you. And I miss you." He wiped a tear away with him thumb. "And I'm sorry."
This time he left her head drop down as he wrapped his arms around her and she around him. He felt her shake as she quietly cried. "I saw you, you know."
"What's that?"
"I saw you last week. When you left the bar with that…that girl."
"What girl? I wasn't…Oh. You mean Mindy."
"God," Abby groaned. "You didn't seem the 'Mindy' type." She moved away from Gibbs once again, but he kept a light hold on her arms.
"I let her sit in the car while she waited for her ride. That was all. Nothing happened."
"Nothing?"
He shook his head. "Nothing." His face grew solemn. "How did you know I was there?"
"I went looking for you, to talk. You weren't at home so I was heading to the Navy Yard but saw your car outside the bar. I was about to go in, but the two of you walked out. So I just left."
"I was only there because you were at DiNozzo's that night." Abby could feel her face flush and she tried to look down to hide it. "Were you with him, Abby?"
"I was there, yes. But nothing happened. Not really." He looked away from her. "He's the one who told me to go find you that night. That I should go talk to you."
"I bet he did," he mumbled.
"Look at me," she said and he did. "I didn't sleep with Tony."
He looked right into her eyes, as if he was searching for the truth. Abby almost confessed that she had gone over there for that and no wonder Gibbs got people to confess so easily. "I believe you."
"Thank you."
"You're still going."
"I have to."
"I know. I wish you had told me, that you had come to me. I don't want…I don't want to lose you, Abby."
"You haven't lost me. I'll still call and write and e-mail. I'll never be more than a phone call away." He hugged her once more and kissed the top of her head. He couldn't believe that this would most likely be the last time he wrapped his arms around her. Seeming to read his mind she says, "I'll visit. I have to be back in two weeks to take care of the last of my apartment stuff. I'll get to see you then. If you're not too busy."
"I'm never too busy for you."
They stood silently just absorbing one another. Both thinking about how they used to be and regretting the last few weeks. Both wanting to turn back the clock and do it all over again. "I need to finish up."
"I'll drive you."
"I have a ride already."
"Cancel it."
"Gibbs, I can't. Please. I won't get anything done if you're here."
"I know."
"Please, Gibbs." He released her from his embrace and walked towards the door with her right behind him. He opened it and turned to face her. Not being able to stop himself, he leaned in closer to her. Just centimeters from her lips, he hesitated and kissed her cheek instead. Abby was both thankful and disappointed. She knew if had had kissed her like he wanted to, she wouldn't have been able to go. He knew this, which was why he took a different road. Once he stepped outside the door and closed it, he waited. He wasn't sure how long he waited, but he waited. He waited for her to open the door, call out for him, anything, but nothing happened. So, with a sad heart and heavy feet, he left her building for the last time.