Disclaimer ... I own nothing.
Previously...
I didn't know what was happening after that. I could feel myself being jostled slightly, someones arms around me as they cradled me to their chest, my head beneath against their neck. A wall of cold had me shivering since I only had a dress on. Warm hands held onto my wrist and neck again, hands pressed against my cheek and legs.
After that, I was too deep to feel as Emmett passed me to the EMT, or hear the wailing sirens as I was rushed to hospital. I couldn't even feel Jasper holding onto one of my hands during the ride, his eyes burning into my head.
Nope, I was to far into dream land.
Now...
I could feel the air being pulled into my lungs and then pushed out of my nose; I could feel the soft sheets beneath my hands and the lumpy pillow under my head. The air was thick and humid, but the rustling of paper was unmistakable. Light footsteps seemed to circle me, but they each faded after time.
What was really annoying was the beeping that was by my head. It was so annoying that I wanted to reach over and throttle whatever was making it. But I couldn't. My body still felt like a lead weight, pinned to the bed I was laid on.
I was no stranger to hospital beds, being shot at and threatened weekly causing me to have frequent trips to various hospitals. I remembered, albeit vaguely, what happened earlier.
What sort of drugs did they give me?
I was startled from my thoughts by a pressure on my hand, as if someone were pressing a block of ice against it. I was shocked, but of course my body was holding me hostage and I couldn't react. I understood.
Memories flashed in my mind. After James attacked and I was in hospital, Edward held my hand. It was ice cold, but back then it offered me comfort. After all that has happened, I'm ashamed to say that has not changed and I felt a little relaxed knowing one of them was here. But it was an uncontrollable reaction. Damn me and my traitorous body!
I could hear a hum of people speaking but I couldn't pick out words. There were three of them, and the beautiful tones of the three overlapping each other sounded more like a song than a conversation. I couldn't help as my mind settled back down and I fell back into a deep sleep.
-
When I later resurfaced, I found myself closer to reality than before. I was sure I could open my eyes; I just wasn't sure for how long. The cold hand on mine was gone, leaving me warm but feeling rather vulnerable. My world was black around me, the beeping my only companion. I was going to kill that bloody machine.
Someone cleared their throat, the noise sounding oddly loud in the silence. But I found myself relaxing again, though it was not the same as before. Vampires don't clear their throats, I knew that much. How can I be both uncomfortable and relaxed by their presence? It didn't make sense.
I forced my eyes open, instantly meeting the neutral sky blue ceiling tiles. The room was only lit with a dull light, but it seems my eyes were extra sensitive now. A groan escaped my throat as I closed my eyes again. Heavy footsteps came closer, halting next to me.
Gibbs sat next to me; his face as impassive as ever as I opened my eyes again, turning my head and looked at him. His right leg was laid across his left, his hands clasped in his lap, not a hair out of place.
"Have a nice nap?" He smiled a little, and I couldn't help but smile back.
"Tony" I asked, hissing as I tried to sit up, Gibbs quickly leaning forwards and pushing me back down with a hand on my shoulder.
"Take it easy" He ordered as I laid back down, exhaling deeply "Tony's doing alright. He isn't the one who has been unconscious for three hours" He raised an eyebrow as I sighed, grimacing as it hurt my ribs.
"Sor-" I bit my lip as he tilted his head to the side, an expectant look on his face. Right... never apologize; it's a sign of weakness. But then I had the urge to apologize for apologising!
"What's the overall damage then?" I asked, preparing myself for the worst.
"Well, you have three cracked ribs, a cracked wrist, and a banged up shoulder but everything else is just bruising" He explained, and I hummed in response, glad it wasn't anything too serious.
"And the guy?" I pushed.
"In the OR still with handcuffs on" Gibbs shrugged, leaning back in his chair nonchalantly.
"And Harry?" I continued.
"Disappeared before we got in there. They somehow managed to get on the same radio waves and replay previous conversations. By the time we realised... well, Tony and you were both in bad shape" His face fell, his hands resting on his cheeks as he rubbed circles into his face. He seemed tired.
"That's what McGee tells me anyway" He muttered.
"When can I go home?" I needed to see Claire. Just the memory of Harry asking about if I was a parent when he knew I was... I couldn't help but shudder. My voice was already panicked and high, the beeping increasing a little, causing my Boss' eyes to watch it for a moment.
"I'll go get the doctor" He was instantly up, quickly crossing the room and leaving via the open door. No-one knew much about Gibbs', though I knew he used to have a daughter and a wife –the first of four- but both died when he was called out.
The hospital room was similar to all the others I've been in. The same thoughtless walls, plain ceiling, boring furniture and sterile smell. These places should be a second home to be by now, but I still hated them.
I found that my face felt swollen, larger and the skin seemed stretched and tender. I knew I had taken a few blows to the head and face, and I grimaced as I wondered how bad the damage was. I wasn't too bothered, but Claire always got upset when I came home injured.
I quickly learned that it was the heart monitor that was beeping, though I did wonder if they had gotten all of the drug out of my system. I still felt exhausted, but it was easier to put off than before. A spasm of pain shot up my arm as I once again tried to sit up, making me remember the cracked wrist. I wondered how I could have possibly missed the bulky cast that reached from my palm and around my thumb, all the way to halfway to my elbow.
It was not my first wrist break, and I was used to these casts. I was just glad they let my fingers be free, remembering once when I couldn't move my entire arm, wrist or hand. It was horrible.
I rolled my shoulder, hissing and hesitantly letting it drop back into its usual position. Yeah, that was going to hurt for a while.
"Bella"
The fact was, I remembered everything that happened in the hotel room, though it was fuzzy. I could clearly recall Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett all being there and the latter two helping me out and into the elevator. After that I must have blacked out. But I honestly thought that Carlisle and the Cullen's had all been a dream... albeit a well recalled dream.
But as Carlisle stood at the bottom of my bed, looking at me with a clear expression that resembled relief and hesitation, I knew it was no dream. The Cullen's had been there, all of them. They even knew about me being an NCIS agent!
Why did I even tell them? It has nothing to do with them!
"How are you feeling?" He asked the routine question that I had to roll my eyes at.
"I'm bruised, broken and being forced to lay here for the foreseeable future. I'm fine" I replied sarcastically, staring at the ceiling and refusing to meet his eyes even as I saw him come to my side.
"Well, you can leave right now if you want to" He said, my eyes automatically meeting his "But you need to have someone keep an eye on you while you sleep. There are still traces of the drug in your system, and there is a slim chance that you could lapse into a coma. It's a small chance, but…" He trailed off, never blinking or looking away from me.
"Is there anyone that can stay with you tonight? Or that you could stay with?" he pressed, tucking a clipboard under his arm as he awaited my answer.
I could ask Claire I guess, but she needs her sleep. I would ask Tony, knowing he'd never miss a chance to see me half naked even if it was to keep me alive. But he was still in hospital the same as me. I could ask Tim, but he would also be exhausted since he would have been up the same amount of time as Tony and I. He wouldn't be any good. I did wonder about asking Ziva, but she and Tony had this... thing going on. I had a feeling she would be staying in the hospital tonight.
I considered asking Gibbs...
"Maybe, but probably not" I frowned, recalling overhearing a conversation Gibbs had on the phone with his Dad. From the way he said 'No, leave it alone' and 'I'll be home in an hour, just stay where you are' I got the distinct idea that Gibbs had a visitor at home.
I wasn't about to tell him that though. I'd be fine after I slept it off. Carlisle quickly took out the IV that was stuck in my hand and turned off the heart monitor, also taking the small things off my chest, leaving me without any electrical things attached to me. Finally.
Carlisle didn't push me for any further information as I sat up, taking my time as the room spun and nausea gripped my stomach.
"Why were you at the restaurant anyway? You don't need to eat" I winced, needing to distract myself as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and tested my weight.
"Alice had a vision... we weren't sure what of but... she said our reaction was something we needed to see. We decided to check it out" He shrugged casually and reached out and gently held onto my arm as I swayed a little. I had to resist the urge to rip my arm away from him, needing his stability.
"You could have been exposed" I continued as I bent my legs a little, getting the feeling back in them. My chest movement was restricted by the bandages around it to keep me from moving too much and upsetting my ribs further. I could get away with the wrist pot easily and the shoulder would only be a problem when I showered.
He gave me no reply as I assessed myself. Glancing up at him and finding him staring at me with an unfathomable expression I couldn't help but stare back. His mouth opened and I waited for what ever he would say... wondering what he could say in this situation. That is until Gibbs appeared at the door.
"Hey... I have to go" He indicted to his phone and I nodded "Will you be alright?" Gibbs' eyes flitted between Carlisle and myself as I nodded. Apparently Carlisle gave no indication that I was lying, and Gibbs' seemed appeased as he nodded and disappeared again.
"Are you sure you're alright to go home?" Carlisle asked, his hands hovering around my arms as I shuffled over to the bag on the plastic chair in the corner. Thankfully, someone had brought me some spare clothes, although they were NCIS spares, I didn't mind. Anything was better than a hospital gown.
"You're the doctor, not me" I countered, grabbing the pair of baggy joggers and plain black shirt from the bag. They were gym clothes, much better than the ratty office clothes or even worse - Mortuary overalls. The only way to know they were NCIS was the small silver NCIS that was embroidered on the right shoulder of the shirt and just below the waist band of the trouser.
Carlisle, upon seeing I was going to change and wasn't too bothered about him seeing, quickly called for a female nurse to come and help me as he left the room. I scowled after him, but I was grateful for the thought when I realised that it was rather painful to lift my arms thanks to my ribs.
I thanked the nurse with a small smile, too used to this to blush or get embarrassed anymore. After the nurse left, Carlisle entered almost immediately, motioning for me to follow. It was a snails pace but he kept to my speed as we reached the front desk.
"Can I see Tony?" I blurted out after pondering it for a while. We were partners and co-workers after all.
Carlisle watched me for a moment before nodding and turning, leading me back down the corridor and past my room. Patients loitered around the hallways in hospital gowns, chatting with one another or going to the toilet. Carlisle paused at an open door, a quiet mumbling coming from within as I approached.
When I walked in the doorway, I wasn't surprised to see Ziva sat patiently at Tony's side while he tried to eat the disgusting green jelly. No matter how many times I get admitted to hospital, the food doesn't improve.
"Bella!" Tony beamed at me as if we were long lost friends. I couldn't return the sentiment.
"You look terrible" I said softly as I shuffled into the room, ignoring Ziva's snort of laughter as I stood at his bedside. He was sat up, his arm in a sling and his shoulder bandaged, but he still ate the jelly. The large lump beneath the covers hid the cast on his broken leg - I knew the shape of them well enough by now.
But it was his face that left me flinching. Both of his eyes were purple, large cuts ran down his cheeks and across his forehead and more bruises were appearing on his neck. Even his nose looked to be a little lopsided, but from the amount of times that's been broken I wasn't too concerned. They must have really done a number on him.
"Have you looked in the mirror?" Tony snorted, wincing slightly afterwards but still smiling at me. Nothing ever dampened Tony's spirits.
"Haven't had a chance yet" I shrugged, wincing too at the pain.
"Well, you have quiet a few bruises yourself" Tony said through his jelly filled mouth. Ziva tutted disapprovingly as she reached for her purse, pulling out a small compact mirror and handing it to me with a small sad smile.
It wasn't as bad as I was expecting. My bruises weren't as pronounced as Tony's, but there were several cuts on my cheeks. A few bruises littered my jaw from the punch, but that ached more than anything else. The only noticeable thing was the large bruises on my neck forming the shape of a hand.
Sighing, I handed Ziva her mirror back.
"Well, I'm going home for the night" I smirked at Tony's jaw dropped.
"That's not fair! They told me you got loaded up with some sleeping drugs and beaten! How come you get the leave and I don't?" He whined and I had to laugh lightly.
"Yeah I was, but you look terrible. Plus it's only my ribs and wrist that were really banged up" I raised my wrist to emphasise my words, watching him roll his eyes and pout like a child.
"So unfair" He grumbled. Ziva, not one for hugs and kisses, merely nodded and smiled. I knew her well enough to know that that was her way of saying 'I'm glad you're okay'. She isn't the most eloquent person. Tony threw a fit when I said I was leaving then, but I had spent too much time with Tony to take any of his 'one more minute' tricks seriously.
I bid them goodbye and Tony a good nights sleep to which he simply snorted and went back to eating jelly with one hand. Carlisle was waiting outside the room for me and walked with me to reception. I could see he wanted to ask questions, but I was glad he restrained himself tonight.
I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to climb into my bed and sleep the rest of the week away. So it was with bleary eyes that I signed the release form and handed the pen back over to the nurse.
"Do you have a ride home?" Carlisle asked beside me, sounding less and less like a composed man I knew him to be. Perhaps it was the lack of age difference, or that he made the ultimate decision to leave me in Forks... but I no longer saw a father in this man.
"Er... I'll call a cab" I amended, reaching for my phone but finding my hand being halted by Carlisle's. I looked at him and then back down at my hand with a raise eyebrow. It took him a moment to understand but he removed his hand from me and scratched the back of his head.
"I've just finished my shift actually... I could give you a ride" He asked, his golden eyes wide as he waited for my answer.
I was always taught never to get in a car with a stranger. Carlisle wasn't a stranger despite how little I trusted him. I was also told never to get approach a dangerous or suspicious looking person. Now, whereas Carlisle may be acting suspicious, I know he wasn't dangerous.
There wouldn't be any harm in letting him drive me back home. Actually, knowing the speeds they drive I'd get their in half the time, and save on a cab fare. I win all ways round. However, knowing the Cullen's, they might get ideas about them coming over, especially if Alice 'sees' which apartment is mine.
"Er... if you're sure" I shrugged again, watching as he smiled widely and quickly disappeared down a hallway. Deciding to wait, I tapped my foot and tried to calm myself down.
It was Carlisle, only Carlisle. He was the safest one out of all of them. Besides, they never wanted to physically harm me, they kept James away and the only reason he got to me was because I was so stupid. No, it had never been their aim to cause me physical pain. However, they did seem hell bent on scarring my mind well enough do that I was a social pariah that only seems to be able to connect with people who run around shooting bad guys.
"You ready?" He reappeared, sliding his arms into a thin jacket and ignoring all the staring from the female staff behind and around him.
I hesitated for a moment, and I'm sure he realised "Yeah"
He led the way again out of the automatic doors and into the staff car park. Pulling out a set of car keys from his jacket pocket, I noticed the black Mercedes as he unlocked it and went around to the driver's side. I hovered for a moment before sighing and getting in beside him. There was no need to freeze and waste good money waiting and hailing a cab when Carlisle was here with a car.
I kept that as my mantra as I forwent putting a seatbelt on, not wanting to cause any further pain to my ribs.
After telling Carlisle my address, we lapsed into silence and let the gentle hum of the engine fill the space. The night had fallen and after a glance at the little digital clock in the dashboard I resisted a groan. It was nearly 9:10pm, way past Claire's bedtime, though she won't sleep if I'm not home.
She's rather smart, and hates my job simply because of the amount of times I've come home hurt. She always worries when I don't come home at night, but knows not to panic until the morning. She was staying with Dave, a man who lived opposite me on my floor. He was a kind man, recently widowed with no children. It was a shame too, Claire adored him.
So I knew she was safe. This wasn't the first time I was late home or I hadn't been back until the morning. Thankfully Dave didn't seem to mind too much and Claire pretty much had her second home over there.
It was thinking of Claire that my heart panged. She was lonely, withdrawn from society simply because I was scared. She has never seen Charlie, though I had told her all about him. I... moved before he found out and he still doesn't know. And the father... well the father is not in the picture obviously.
So Claire had no-one but me. Though she loves Tony, Gibbs, Ziva, McGee and especially Abbey. We're adults. She needs family around her, people she can go to and talk to instead of being stuck with me all the time. Of course, Abbey would take her in at any given time.
Abbey knows everything. As in everything. She had her own little run in with a vampire a while back and barely got out with her life, but she remembered and when I was describing the Cullen's one day -both of us had had too many glasses of wine -she blurted it out. She knew about vampires, and she had quickly become my best friend.
Glancing over at Carlisle, I wondered if this was my chance to give Claire a family. Carlisle was here, driving me home. Though I don't call him family and shudder at the thought of them getting anywhere near her...
Deciding that, no, this was not the time or the place. I was hurting, tired and Claire would be sleeping. Sighing, I watched the street lights flit past, glowing brightly against the black inky sky. I tried to stay awake, honestly I did, but with the gentle hum of the car and the repetitive flashing... I was out like a light.
-
I had been trained to the highest standard in hand-to-hand combat. I can shoot a moving target 250 meters away and get a successful hit. I am also learning -with the aid of Ziva- to throw knifes at targets.
Thanks to my job, I am constantly alert for threats against me or the people around me, I am aware of my environment.
So, when I wake up in an unfamiliar house in the early morning, my training kicked in.
Pushing off the blanket and sitting up on the large black leather sofa, I pressed my hand against my hip, getting my gun from the holster I had put it in between the nurse leaving and Carlisle approaching. Keeping the gun low, I looked around at where I was.
There were no pictures on the walls, but it looked homely. The large 50' inch flat screen television proved the wealth of these people, even if the extensive furniture and humongous rooms did not.
My ribs were aching horribly, but the knowledge that I may be in some kidnappers home let me push past that. However, I was happy I'm ambidextrous so I don't have to use my left hand too much. My musings were put on hold,
Footsteps were approaching and I turned and looked at the doorway, finding the door open and the shadow of someone stretching into the room. They were male, perhaps six foot one, maybe two. Their steps were light yet slow, purposeful.
I tightened my grip on my gun, quickly bracing myself for what ever this man had as I caught the first glimpse of his body coming through the door. Pulling my gun out and swiftly pointing it at the door, I was pleased to see that my hands didn't shake and my breathing remained controlled. I had only just woken up, which meant that my mind was a little fuzzy.
The man rounded the corner and I groaned, putting my head in my hands as I put my gun back in the holster.
"Carlisle... what the hell?!" I breathed, realising with belated recognition that I had been in Carlisle's car and had probably fallen asleep. Plus the decor was 'Cullen style' anyway with all the light colours, wide open spaces and expensive stuff.
After he got over the initial shock of me pointing a gun at him, he kindly asked if I wanted something to eat. I did think about it, not liking that I was in his house... their house. Oh God.
"Yes please" I sighed, realising that the monster growling in my stomach needed food since I hardly got to eat anything in the restaurant. Once again Carlisle waited for me as I shuffled over to the doorway.
"But I have to go home soon" I winced slightly and his gaze was piercing until he nodded slightly.
Leading me through the hallway, through the dining room -which I had to roll my eyes at- and into the kitchen where Esme was sitting waiting for me. She smiled as she sat at the small island in the middle of the room, seeming to be unsure of what to say. I was right there with her.
"It's good to see you Bella" Her smile was gentle but her eyes were tight and scrutinizing as they roamed over my facial injuries and then on my plaster covered hand.
"You too, though I would have preferred it to be under better circumstances" I admitted, lowering myself into a bar stool beside her. It wasn't a total lie, which made me feel a little better.
It was good to see Esme... but I didn't want to see her. It was complicated even to my own mind. I had missed her, but after so much time and so many things happening, I found no place in my life for any of the Cullen's anymore.
My eyes roamed around the kitchen, looking like it had never been used at all. I sighed deeply, flinching at the pain it caused. Carlisle appeared at my side, setting a plate of buttered toast in front of me as well as a glass of water and a little white pill. Ah, those little white pills I've grown so fond of.
Not even bothering with the water I dry swallowed the pill and, ignoring the stares of the two people either side of me, carried on looking around the room. It wasn't until I saw the clock that I actually spoke next.
"You're fucking kidding me!" I screeched, seeing that it was half past ten, and though I doubt I was expected at work today, I needed to get home to Claire. Just thinking about what Harry said...
"Why didn't you wake me up?" I jumped up, reaching into my pocket and extracting my phone. I had three missed calls. No surprise.
"Why did you bring me here?! I said I wanted to go home" I basically hissed the words at Carlisle as I pressed speed dial and held down 5 on the key pad, sending me straight to Abbey. Of everyone, I knew she'd be at work today.
"You were asleep..." Carlisle trailed off pitifully as I paced back and forth in the kitchen in front of them.
"And I suppose waking me up was out of the question?!" I shot back, letting my anger and frustration out on him. Why did he even bring me here, into their home? I said home. Not the Cullen house. I needed to see my daughter, but no. Once again they take matters into their own hands and ignore my opinion.
"Abbey's Lab, Abbey speaking" Her chirpy voice contrasted so much with my mood right now it was almost comical.
"Hey Abs, it's Bella I-" I was abruptly cut off by Abbey and her ramblings.
"Oh my God, I heard what happened! I swear I will catch that SOB and castrate him myself for hurting you and Tony. I haven't been to see him yet but McGee says he's doing okay, but I don't know if he just said that so I would freak out, he does do that alot..." She went on and on until I felt the beginning of a headache start to throb behind my left temple.
"Abbey!" My sharp voice was enough to silence her.
"Look..." I quickly contemplated telling her I had seen the Cullen's and was currently standing in their kitchen, but decided against it. There would be time for drama later. Right now, I needed to get to my daughter I see if she was alright.
"Tell Gibbs I won't be in today" Keeping my back to Carlisle and Esme, I found, was easier than facing them. I amused myself by looking at my warped reflection in the silver toaster.
"Sure Bella... you sound terrible" Abbey was more subdued now, thankfully.
"Rough night... and strange morning" I admitted, knowing she would fish for more information.
"If you want me to stop by later... I'll bring Caf-Pow?" She offered and I couldn't help but laugh lightly. That girl thinks Caf-Pow solves everything; though I'd much rather let her have the caffeine than take it away. She's scary without her caffeine fix.
"Sure, but leave the caffeine at home" People started murmuring behind me and I turned to see all of the Cullen's - except one - watching me with frowns and raised eyebrows. Great, so now I was a museum exhibit.
"Look I have to go" I rushed, not wanting Abbey to bring up Claire with the Cullen's so close.
"Alright, see you later"
Pocketing my phone, I turned and waited for someone to say something. Nothing, they just kept on staring -not even blinking.
"Jesus Christ" I muttered, patting my pockets but remembering that I had no car keys and I had to rely on them for a lift home. After what happened last time... I may actually pay the cab fare.
"Do you really have a gun?" Emmett blurted, finally having some other emotion besides... well what ever they were feeling when they were staring. A grin was spreading across his face even as Rosalie elbowed him in the stomach.
Rolling my eyes and shaking my head, I pulled out my gun. All of their eyes widened, apart from Carlisle and Alice of course who knew I had guns anyway.
"Wow... is it real?" Emmett asked, looking like a child.
Raising an eyebrow and seriously wondering how he could have ever passed High School, I decided to drop the pretences and let the see how much I have grown up. I am not a child anymore.
"Well, there is a man in hospital with my bullet in his shoulder... so I hope so" I shrugged casually, smirking as they all looked rather anxious.
"I have to go" I quickly shoved the gun back in the holster, reaching for my phone as Carlisle spoke up.
"I can take you?" It was a question that I could decline.
"Are you sure I'll actually get there this time?" I raised an eyebrow as he ducked his head and nodded, putting my phone away.
"Alright" I sighed, watching as his face lit up with a brief smile as he appeared in front of me holding his car keys.
"Someone's rather enthused this morning" I grumbled, rubbing sleep from my eyes. The others didn't move but let Carlisle and I through them and to the door.
"Er... thanks for letting me stay... or kidnapping me..." I scratched my neck awkwardly, the manners my mother and father taught me coming to the surface. You always thank someone for letting you stay, no matter who they are.
"Sorry about that" He turned when we reached the door, holding it open and letting me out before he closed it behind himself. The air was chilly but not too cold, it was rather refreshing.
"I didn't want to wake you up, not after the night you had. And you didn't sound too confident that there'd be someone to look after you, and with Jasper and all of us not needing sleep..." We walked down the steps and he went round to the drivers' side, looking at me with a small smile over the roof.
"It made sense yesterday" He admitted as he unlocked the doors and we got in.
"When you put it like that... I can see where you're coming from" I winced as I sat "But I'm not the same girl I used to be Carlisle. I have responsibilities now, I have a life, and you can't just come back and expect everything to be the same as what it used to be" I looked out the window as I spoke, seeing his reflection frown at me.
"You may not change, but humans do" I watched as he reversed and turned, taking the gravel road through the forest. Looking in the wing mirror, it occurred to me how similar their houses are. That house was seemed to similar to the one in Forks' that I wondered if they had airlifted in to Washington D.C.
Driving through the forest took me back to all those time I visited the Cullen's in Forks. It was easy to imagine I was in Edward's Volvo, driving back from a sleepover with Alice back to Charlie's.
But I wasn't. I was twenty now, sat in Carlisle's Mercedes heading back to my apartment and my daughter.
"I know things have changed Bella - for all of us" He sounded so shockingly tired that I looked over at him. Indeed, I found him looking sadly out of the windshield, his hands slack on the steering wheel. Had it been anyone but a vampire, I'd be screaming by now.
"When we left you behind... it tore a hole in our family. What you saw yesterday at the restaurant... that was our reunion Bella" He turned to look at me, his golden eyes full of sadness and pain that could only come with seeing of horrors his age inflicts.
"Esme and I tried to keep everyone together but... we couldn't. Alice refused to live in the same house as Edward and Jasper couldn't handle the emotions everyone was giving off, so they left. Without Jasper and Alice, Emmett and Rosalie were quick to follow. Edward left shortly after, but we lost contact after a few weeks" His eyes never strayed from mine, and though I may have been inclined to laugh in his face and tell him he was a liar... I didn't.
I hadn't seen him this... weak, this vulnerable. This was an entirely new side to Carlisle I didn't know about, not the fatherly affectionate side or the strict leader of a coven. This was simply a married man tired and wearisome about his family. And I believed him.
I know the struggles children can put upon you.
"Within two months of moving away, our family had divided and scattered. We kept in contact through phone calls, but it wasn't the same" He moved his gaze back to the road, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him.
It was impossible for me to imagine the Cullen's divided. They were a family to the very end; such close bonds were strange even among real blood families. They were so strong.
"Last night we came together again because of Alice's' vision" He continued as though reading from a book "She saw us all at the restaurant, and then after... we didn't know it was you Bella but we hoped-" I interrupted.
"If I am the reason your family split up and divided, and you wanted to see me so badly... why didn't you come to find me?" I asked gently, wanting to be angry with him, but I found the task impossible. Not when he was like this. Carlisle had never spoken so much to me, never on an even playing field and never as an equal.
For the first time, I saw discomfort flit across his face as he shifted in his seat, refusing to meet my eyes.
"When we left... Edward made us promise to stay away, that's why Alice refuses to speak or acknowledge him. Well, and the fact he wouldn't let her say goodbye" he added, but I was still reeling about the first thing.
I knew Edward had used me and dumped me, obviously getting tired of me. But for him to banish his family from even contacting me, even when they fell apart... that was monstrous.
"Just because Edward says it, it must be law" I spat as I turned and looked back out the window, finding us speeding past corporate buildings and large crowds of suit-clad women and men with coffee and brief cases.
Carlisle said nothing, thankfully letting me think.
Alice didn't like Edward because she wanted to stay or at least say goodbye. My heart warmed a little to think my ex best friend hadn't wanted to leave, once again freezing when I remembered that she did, and what she intended to do didn't make a difference anymore.
Family was important to the Cullen's, and it was to me too. No matter what I did or where I ran, I would always be tied to the Cullen's in one way or another.
Remembering my previous argument about letting the Cullen's into Claire's life, I pondered it again with a clearer mind and with my new knowledge. It did change things...
If I believed him. I find that my opinion on the Cullen's changes. One day I want them to walk through the door so we can all be a happy family again, but others I want them all to rot in the depths of hell.
"Bella, we're here" The car came to a halt as Carlisle's words and I found myself looking at the small parking lot that my apartment looked over.
"Thanks" I smiled a little but made no move to get out. I needed to make a decision... and who knows the next time I'll have this opportunity. Maybe if it turns out badly I'll learn from my mistakes.
"Carlisle, can you come up for a second?" I asked quickly, not letting me stop myself as I awaited his answer. When he nodded I didn't know whether to be happy or scared. I settled for a bit of both.
Getting out of the car, I smiled at Carlisle as he handed me the bag with my clothes in it I had left in his car. He fell into pace beside me and held the door as we walked inside. I shivered as the heaters belted out a waft of warmth, relaxing my tense muscles. Walking for the stairs, I found myself being held back.
"Bella, what floor do you live on?" He asked as I turned, dropping his grip on my good wrist.
"The fourth" it's a good job I don't have a balcony I shuddered at the very thought of Claire anywhere near one, especially with the climbing phase she's going through.
"Well there's an elevator here" He motioned to the metal doors but I grimaced.
"I had a case where someone rigged the elevator to go to the very top and then drop without anything told them. I kind of stay clear of them ever since" I looked at the metal doors as if they were going to bite me.
"Bella, with your ribs, going up four sets of stairs will be agony" He continued, waiting patiently as I weighed out the pro's and the cons. Well... nothing has ever happened to me personally in an elevator...
Nodding stiffly, I watched him press the button and the little arrow light up orange as the elevator doors slid open and we stepped in. When the doors closed I started to panic. Yeah, I get shot at but show me an elevator and I start freaking out.
I distracted myself by thinking of what the hell I was going to say. I came up empty.
The doors pinged open and I nearly ran out, but maintained my dignity and stepped out quickly, hearing Carlisle chuckle quietly behind me. I shot him a playful glare to which he simple shrugged. Huh... I've never had that with Carlisle. It was so casual.
I fished around in the pocket of the joggers, hoping the keys hadn't fallen out from where I put them in when I was at the hospital. Thankfully they were there and I pulled them out upon seeing my door. Number 25 in little gold metal numbers. My home.
It wasn't swanky or expensive, but I didn't need money to be happy. This was more of a home than any other place had been.
"Bella, what is this about? I got the impression that... well, that you weren't really interested in talking to any of us" He enquired as I tried to fit the key in the key hole, but my nerves were getting the best of me and my hands were shaking. Carlisle held out his hand and I sighed, closing my eyes as I dropped the keys into his open palm.
"Sorry... I have no idea how to do this..." I gulped, shaking my head as he frowned at me, holding out my keys again. Carlisle had left my door slightly ajar, obviously not wanting to fully walk in uninvited. Pushing the door open, I cringed at the mess on the kitchen worktops. Cereals and cutlery were scattered on and behind appliances from breakfast the other morning.
The very thought of my daughter's smiling face had my heart aching and my arms begging to hold her.
"Come in" I waved my hand towards the sofa as I hurriedly swiped the blanket away. If it weren't for my need for my daughter, I might be a little mortified right now. The Cullen house was perfect, no dust and no mess. Compared to their home, mine was a shit tip.
"Bella..." He was smiling at least, watching me as I took my gun from the holster. Yes, it was uncomfortable to sleep with but it made me feel safe. I could feel Carlisle's eyes on me as I took the bullets out of the barrel and walked behind the kitchen counter, having to stand on my very tiptoes to reach the tiny cupboard above the sink. Claire knew well enough what was in it and I knew she could reach if she climbed, but we both knew that she wouldn't touch my gun.
He sat down but never took his eyes from me, his smile slowly fading.
"I have to show you something... explain... but you... you have to listen to me, and... please don't judge me" The last part came out as a whisper, a plea for him not to freak out or leave. Not again. He can't leave me again.
"I'll listen to everything you have to say Bella. I'm not going anywhere" His eyes were wide, giving me no way but to trust and believe him.
Taking a deep breath and trying to calm myself down, I moved a little towards the open door "Okay. I'll be back in a minute" I didn't wait for a reply as I nearly jogged out of the room and down the hallway. I was out of view from Carlisle as I knocked on the door, hearing a 'come in'; I opened the door and walked in.
Dave's apartment was exactly the same as mine but everything was the other way around since we were on opposite sides of the building. He frowned at me, obviously wondering about my injuries, but simply inclined his head to the sofa. Making my moves slower, I walked around and crouched down in front of my baby.
Small snores escaped her tiny mouth, her hands grasping at air as she frowned. But she was beautiful all the same. She had my hair, long and chestnut brown, but it was straight and as untameable as Edward's. Her skin was porcelain though a few shades lighter than mine and a few darker than a vampires.
I found her eyes to be captivating, wide and like an open book if you want to know her emotions. But with her cute little button nose and red pouty lips, she was gorgeous. Of course, I am her mother and I may be biased. I didn't care. She was mine.
Yes, Edward and I had sex and Claire is his daughter. Before, every time I looked at her I would feel a stab in my chest. But not now. I didn't resent Edward sleeping with me, not when it brought me this little miracle.
Mouthing a 'thank you' at Dave as he went from the kitchen to the bathroom, he rolled his eyes and waved his hand. He didn't mind, and refused any money I offered him. He loved her.
Scooping her up gently and being careful not to wake her, I balanced her in one arm and opened the door. She was getting a little difficult to hold since she was pretty big for her age. Ignoring the stabbing pains from my ribs and wrist I walked out into the
I steadied myself as I stood just out of sight of my doorway, knowing Carlisle was listening and had already probably guessed from the two heartbeats. Glancing down at my slumbering daughter, I gently pressed my lips to her cheek before rounding the doorframe and walking into my apartment.
I was right; he had been watching the door intently. Though I don't think I was prepared for his level of shock.
He wasn't moving, or breathing, or blinking... or doing anything. Only his eyes followed me as I walked around the sofa and sat at the other end, a little edgy because of his behaviour. I waited for him to thaw out and say something.
Perhaps it was silly of me, but I had hoped that he would peek at my home, look into my daughter's bedroom and put two and two together. After all, a pink unicorn clad bedroom can only mean one thing.
He turned towards me, his eyes intent on Claire with such intensity that I pulled her closer to my chest as if I could protect her. I never understood how Esme could love her children unconditionally... but I think I get it now. Nothing Claire ever did could make me love her any less.
"Bella... she's... she's beautiful" He stuttered, thankfully looking at me and not my daughter. I had had vampires stare at me, and it was not something I wish happen to my daughter.
"Thank you" I whispered, not knowing what else to say.
Claire stirred in my arms, her face turning as her eyes fluttered. "Mom?" Her sleepy voice was so cute I had to smile.
"Hey baby" I kissed her forehead, and just like that Carlisle was gone from my mind. My daughter was more important than what ever he said, or his opinion. As long as I had her, I could do anything.
She stretched her little arms and legs in my arms, almost falling off my lap until she curled back up for a moment and hummed, her hand grabbing a handful of my shirt.
"I have someone here I want you to meet" I whispered, wondering if it would be better to explain everything with her asleep.
But she sat up and turned, leaning back on my chest as she blearily blinked at a dumbfounded Carlisle. I had told her about the Cullen's, what they look like and how they act.
"Carlisle, this is Claire, my daughter" I kept my eyes on Carlisle as I spoke, watching him nod "Your grand daughter" I continued in a whisper, watching as his eyes widened impossibly more, and his eyes shot up to mine. Claire was fine about the whole thing, already knowing about Carlisle and his family.
I had to smile as she waved lazily at him, a small yawn making me chuckle as we settled into silence and waiting for Carlisle to actually start working again.
The room was silent, but the little cogs in Claire's head were whirring into action. I decided, as Carlisle gained a thoughtful expression, that this may take a while and Claire might as well go to bed and get some sleep. It may be quarter past eleven, but Claire never slept when I didn't come home. She'd probably spend the rest of the day sleeping.
"Let me put her to bed, then we'll talk" I whispered as I scooped her up gently, finding her eyes already shut as I easily opened her door and walked over to her bed. Her room was a typical girl's bedroom, all pink and pretty. It wasn't much though, not that the minded. We did the best with what we had.
Not bothering to change her and knowing she'd just get annoyed, I quickly moved the quilt aside and laid her on the mattress, only bothering to take off her little trainers before she frowned and rolled over, yawning once before settling down.
I stayed a little longer than I probably should have, but I couldn't help it. She didn't see anything as complicated. She knew the Cullen's were vampires, that they left me and wanted nothing to do with me. She knew it, and accepted it. But she needed family.
I'm doing this for her I kissed her head gently as I stood again, sighing lightly as I looked out of the door. Though I couldn't see Carlisle from here I could already feel my palms sweating lightly.
I was scared. Scared that they would hurt her like they hurt me, scared that they'd try to take her from me... and scared of rejection.
Claire stopped me from backing out. I had run so much, but not anymore. I am a mother and my number one priority was not myself anymore. Claire needs me here and I will not run from the things I fear.
Not anymore.
Walking out of her bedroom and quietly shutting the door behind me, I made my way back to the sofas and sat down again on the opposite side to Carlisle. He seemed to have calmed down a little, his eyes returning to normal width but he wasn't looking at me. He was thinking, and that honestly scared me.
Giving him time to think and needing to do something, I got up and went to the bathroom, ignoring the searing burn in my skull from Carlisle's eyes on me. Reaching up on my tiptoes to the high cupboard and sliding the door open, I grabbed the small bottle of ibuprofen. Dry swallowing two and putting the small bottle back, sliding the door shut again, I made my way back out.
I knew there would come a time when she could reach it, but hopefully her mind will develop as fast as her body and she won't be too interested in downing a handful.
Carlisle looked a little more collected when I sat back down, though I still felt uncomfortable beneath his stare. The drugs were kicking in quickly and the pains as I moved were reduced to a mere twinge. My hurt wrist was forgotten as I leaned back in the chair and waited for the barrage of questions that were bound to follow. Maybe I shouldn't have done this.
"Bella... are you saying that... that you and Edward..." He scooted a little closer as I sighed and sat up again, resting my elbows on my knees and placing my face in my hands.
"Yeah. We slept together. The night before my birthday" My voice came out more tired than I wanted, but I didn't mind. He had given in, saying since he couldn't give me something of any monetary worth, he wanted to give me something that I would always remember.
"He never said..." He trailed off as I scoffed.
"Like he would" I doubted anything he told me had been the truth, if he truly had been a virgin. I was just another trophy for his case.
"So..." Carlisle began after a long pause. I raised my head upon hearing his tone. I didn't like it.
"Does that mean that... since Claire is half human and half vampire..." He waited for me to finish, his eyes bright with a smile creeping up his face. This was why I didn't want anyone to know. My daughter was no experiment to be watched and prodded.
"She has some vampire traits and some human traits" I guess my icy tone made him realise what he had done.
"Forgive me Bella, she is your daughter and... well my grand daughter" His smile grew large as he spoke the words "I was merely curious. I have never head so such a thing ever happening before" His smile never fell, and I wondered what Charlie would say if he knew.
Sighing and kicking aside my pride, I told him.
"How old would you say she was?" I asked, sitting back in the chair and watching him think for a moment.
"Four, maybe five years old" He shrugged, but the frown told me what I needed to know.
Quickly doing the math, and being slightly amazing at the time that had gone by "She's two years and three months old Carlisle" Worry crept into my voice, though I couldn't help it. I didn't know when or if she would ever stop growing and if not... then she'd have half of a life.
"Well... when we become vampires our human characteristics become enhanced. So, perhaps the vampire genes have enhanced her growing" Carlisle spouted another theory, though I wasn't sure I was happy about it or not.
"What if she doesn't stop?" My eyes burned with tears at the thought of losing her, my daughter, the light of my life. I rubbed my face with my good hand, dropping it quickly and not surprised to find Carlisle right beside me now.
"I'll do some research" His eyes were hard and his tone strict. He meant it. "I'll find something... anything that can help" He implored as I nodded my thanks.
"There's other things too" I whispered, sniffing and clearing my throat as I continued "She's got amazing reflexes, and... well you'll see for yourself how smart she is" I sighed, wondering when I decided that Carlisle would play a part in my daughters life.
"She's quite quick as well and blurs slightly, but not so much that it's very noticeable. Her skin is soft and she has blood and a heartbeat. Her senses of hearing and smell are as good as yours" I watched his eyebrows shoot up before they descended when he frowned.
"And blood? Does she crave it?" His grave tone did nothing for me, and it was obvious he knew I was skirting around the subject.
It was the question I didn't want to answer, or tell anyone about. I don't know why, but I was ashamed. Not of my daughter, but that I wasn't the right person she needed. With all her strength and speed, she would have been better growing up with the Cullen's.
"About once a week she needs some, but only a cup full. She... she kind of turns feral. She's attacked me before and if I don't get it to her quick enough..." I shuddered, remembering when she was 6 months old -though appeared about a year old- and pounced at a dog we walked past, thankfully I was able to grab her and drag her home before she hurt anyone. Unfortunately, she also has claws and she has scarred my arms terribly.
"It's okay as long as we stay on top of it. She describes the thirst like you did –like a burn- but it comes on almost instantly. We know roughly it should start so we're prepared" I explained, sounding like a teacher so much that I cringed.
Carlisle looked speechless and rather dumbfounded as he stared at me.
"Where do you get the blood from?" He asked finally, sounding rather choked.
"The local butchers down the road. He says he salts it, but Claire's never had anything else so she doesn't know the difference" I added a mental thankfully.
We were silent again, thinking, wondering and wishing.
"What about you? How did you get here?" He looked around the apartment for a short moment before he met my eyes again.
"Its... it's a long story and not a particularly nice one" I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Everything just has to be so complicated doesn't it? I couldn't have fallen in love with a human boy and had a normal human child? No. I couldn't have just gone to college and gotten a reasonable job. No. Because Fate just couldn't let me have a break.
But I wouldn't change anything, if given a choice. I had my daughter, and even though I have no-one else, she is enough for me. I missed my father a lot, and I wanted to phone Renee up and just chat but I didn't and I couldn't.
Looking at Carlisle I realised that Claire had a family staring right in her face. This was her chance, and whereas I would keep her at a distance from them, she deserved to at least know them.
He didn't say anything, simply watching me with patient eyes. I couldn't do this sat down, so quickly getting up and making my way towards the open kitchen; I looked in the fridge for something to eat.
"After you left I wasn't the same" I spoke with my head in the fridge, grabbing a yoghurt and making a mental note to go shopping soon.
"You were my family and you left" I stood, kicking the fridge shut as I opened the draw and grabbed a spoon.
"Charlie was worried but I tried to be as normal as I could for his sake. The doctors said I was catatonic" I ignored his gasp, knowing that if I stopped now I wouldn't have the guts to start again.
"I made friends with a boy from the Reservation, Jacob Black. He helped make me... alive I guess" I stood behind the counter, leaning my elbows on it as I looked at Carlisle's remorseful face as he twisted around to watch me, refusing to let it affect me.
"I was failing all my classes because I couldn't concentrate at all, and I was a total outcast all the time.
My school friends ditched me and Jake became my best friend and life line. He was the only thing that kept the nightmares away and made me smile" I added with a small sad grin before it slid off and I peeled off the lid to my yoghurt. Now was when it all went down hill.
"But he wanted to be more than friends, and that was something I couldn't offer him. I pushed him away every time but he kept coming back. Until one time, he didn't. He didn't call or come around, when I went to see him his father made excuses and lies for him" I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"It was a few days later that I realised I was pregnant" I whispered, grabbing my yoghurt and going and sitting down again, feeling Carlisle's gaze burning through my skull as I sat down gently beside him.
"It was pretty obvious when I think about it. The sickness, cravings and tiredness" I couldn't force a smile as I poked my spoon into my strawberry yoghurt, but my appetite had gone.
"What did you do?" Carlisle asked quietly, almost not wanting to hear the answer.
"I was eighteen, heartbroken, alone and friendless with a half human, half vampire baby in my stomach. I did what any girl would have done Carlisle" I met his eyes as I hesitated "I ran"
Shock flit across his face in a flash as I lowered my eyes again "Charlie was at work and it was early Monday morning. Edward was the only person I had slept with... and I was terrified what the child could be" I admitted with a shaking voice "And I was terrified about what everyone would say and think" I added, blinking back tears and setting the yoghurt on the small table when my hands started to shake.
"Admitting to Charlie or Renee about it… it wasn't an option back then. I was young, naïve and stupid and saw running as my only option" I sighed sadly as I remembered how very juvenile I used to be.
"I didn't have much money but I went to my bank and drew out my college fund, got my truck and just drove as far as I could. I managed to grab a few clothes and toiletries but that was it" I shrugged nonchalantly but it was anything but.
"I stayed in hotels mostly, changing my name constantly since I knew Charlie would be looking for me. I didn't leave a note. What could I possibly put?" A tear ran down my cheek as my composure slipped, my voice turning slightly hysterical at the end. I had never told anyone this, never, and this was why.
"The pregnancy was horrendous" I gasped as Carlisle scooted closer and put an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side and tucking my head into his shoulder.
"I didn't need blood or anything like that, but I went for days without sleep and had a constant fever. I found driving a possible suicide risk since I'd just faint. And... she was really strong, even then. She broke a few of my ribs when she kicked and moved" I sobbed, not liking how my baby caused me pain. It wasn't her fault, and she still apologizes for it even now.
"My money almost ran out so I went looking for a job, sleeping in my truck since I couldn't afford a hotel room anymore. Plus I found it difficult to keep quiet when she moved, people complained about the noise" I sniffed, remembering how the hotel manager knocked on my door and escorted me from the building at one in the morning because no-one could sleep. I was so ashamed that I just sobbed in my truck.
"I got work in a small bar being a waitress, and the manager was really nice. My bump wasn't really big and it was easily hidden with a baggy shirt, but I think he knew anyway. I lost so much weight… I must have looked so strange" I mused, remembering how he'd eye my clothing closely before sighing and looking away again.
"He let me take the apartment above the bar for a small bit of my wages" I remembered Jack fondly, his beard and watery brown eyes made me think of Charlie, he was so fatherly but I saw him grab slightly over excited dancer and throw him out. He didn't need a gun to get his point across.
"It happened so fast Carlisle" His arm tightened as I sobbed his name "She grew so quickly... the pregnancy only lasted three and a half months" I bit my lip in an effort to keep reasonably quiet, not wanting to wake Claire up when I'm in this state.
"Where did you go?" Carlisle whispered as I took a few deep breathes in an effort to calm myself.
"I couldn't go to a hospital Carlisle. What if the baby needed blood when it was born? I couldn't risk it" I shook my head as I wiped my eyes, my chest aching as the pills wore off.
"I left the club a few days before. I had a feeling... that something was going to happen. My wages paid for the hotel room, and that was where I gave birth. I managed to keep reasonably quiet..." I shuddered at the memory. The pain was unimaginable and I had to put all the effort into not screaming.
Blood covered the bad sheets, but I guess I was lucky there weren't any further complications that required a doctor.
"I was so scared Carlisle. I hardly had any money... and a half human, half vampire baby girl too. I didn't know what to do" I sobbed, shame making my eyes heavy and downcast as I realised how very unprepared for Claire I was.
"She was beautiful though" I sniffed "I managed to buy some clothes for her, but she already looked about 6 months old. She could talk almost immediately and started walking the next day" I smiled, remember how shocked I was when I felt a tug on my trousers and turned to see my baby girl stood behind me.
"And what about you? Giving birth to her can't have been easy..." Carlisle hedged, bursting my little thought bubble.
"I went to a free clinic one day while Claire was at Daves, my neighbour" I hiccupped "He said that... the damage was pretty bad... and that I probably won't be able to have anymore kids" I wasn't too upset, happy enough with just Claire. Besides, I shuddered to think what man would accept both me and my daughter.
The scars were pretty bad too, but I don't really flash them to anyone and everyone.
"Anyway... I moved up here and got this place. The rent was high, but I found Claire liked Dave and Dave liked Claire, and he was a nice babysitter. I got a little job as a waitress at a restaurant to get money..." I hesitated, disgust tainting my tongue as I remembered my train of thought back then.
"How did you get into NCIS then?" He sounded truly confused and I couldn't blame him. Even I don't understand my reasoning.
"I... I wasn't happy Carlisle. It was like when you first left again. I could do the basic stuff, but I found intimacy and speaking difficult" I shook my head sadly, lifting it from his shoulder and wiping my eyes.
"I'm ashamed of it, but I first wanted to take the job because... because then if I died it wouldn't be classed as suicide" I whispered, reaching out and grabbing my yoghurt with shaking hands, not wanting to look at Carlisle and see his expression.
"Post-Natal Depression is quite common Bella, and its nothing to be ashamed about" He spoke softly, as though speaking any louder would break me into tiny pieces.
"No, but wanting to die and taking the chance to do so with a child is" I stirred the yoghurt, trying to calm my heart and breathes again but failing. I had thought about it so much, but I wasn't strong enough to just end it. So I thought… that if I 'accidentally' got shot by someone, then it would be different" I gulped shakily, blinking away the tears in my eyes and watching them fall into my yoghurt.
"I didn't have any training though, so they put me through all the tests and evaluations" I gulped "It actually helped boost me out of it. It kept my mind from everything else. Even Claire" I admitted, remembering how I wouldn't see her for days because I'd be too concentrated on work and passing all the tests. It was a good thing she was so independent.
"When they gave me a gun... that was my crossroads" I sighed "I had my way out in my hand, and I remember sitting right here and staring at it for hours" I stared at the yoghurt.
"But I realised what I had to live for. I had a job now, an apartment, a daughter, and a friend. It made me realise that I had other people's lives in my hands. I had the power to decide if people lived or died. I couldn't do that to Claire" My throat closed up at the end as I choked.
"How long ago was that?" I realised how little Carlisle was actually saying now, which was strange.
I sighed, casting my mind back "From when you left, I ran away three weeks later, three and a half months later Claire was born, five months later I got here, a couple of weeks later I got the job as a waitress. Nine months later I went for the NCIS job, and fifteen months later I was given my badge" I explained the time frame to him. Them leaving became a pivotal time in my life, everything else before not mattering and everything after seeming to be because of that.
"I'm still a probie on the team, but I've been put in for my Special Agent status. After yesterdays performance I doubt I'll get anywhere near it" I grimaced at the thought, taking a spoonful of putting it in my mouth.
"And Charlie? Renee?" From the tone of voice, I had the inkling he already knew the answer to that one.
"I haven't seen Renee since the incident with James, and I haven't seen Charlie since the night before I left. They have no idea where I am or about the pregnancy. I could be dead for all they know" My voice lowered to a whisper as I admitted it.
"You could get in touch. I doubt Charlie has moved since you left..." He stopped as I shook my head.
"Too much time had passed Carlisle. Two years of no contact and I call and say 'sorry, oh and by the way you're a grandfather'. That's why I'm telling you Carlisle. Claire only has me and she needs a family. I took Charlie and Renee away from her, and I at least want her to meet the family she has while she can" I sniffed, trying to push away the tears as I looked at Carlisle pleadingly.
I had to put my yoghurt down before I upended it, my hands were shaking so strongly. This whole thing had the poten
"We're not going anywhere Bella" He told me strongly, his eyes hard and his jaw set.
"Carlisle… there's one more thing" I gulped, hoping this one condition wouldn't scare him off. He nodded silently, frowning lightly but waiting for me to continue.
"They can't know Carlisle" I knew I sounded desperate, but I didn't care.
"You hurt me so much Carlisle, all of you, and I won't let you do that to Claire" I sniffed as his eyes became downcast.
"Then why are you telling me?" He asked quietly, sounding more ashamed than I have ever heard him.
"Because she needs family, people she can talk to about the thirst and speed, the things I can't do. That's why I'm telling you and not the others. You've never lied to me Carlisle, and even though you left with them… I understand you did it for your family" It hurt to admit after the years of hating the Cullen's, but it was true.
I knew that if Claire was in danger or desperately wanted something, then I would do anything, regardless of the consequences it brought with it.
He was silent for a long moment and I instantly began to doubt myself, wondering why I would ever even contemplate him lying to his family for me. He left me for his family, I doubt he'd do this to them after all that.
"I'll understand if you can't-" I began quietly but was halted when he sighed loudly beside me. I peeked at him cautiously, finding him smirking at me, his eyes soft and gentle as he slowly shook his head.
"Bella… I don't think you understand how much you mean to my family, but the fact that we fell apart without you should give you a clue" he chuckled a little sadly, ducking his head for a moment before meeting my eyes again.
"I'll do it, though I don't like lying to the others… I know where I should be" His eyes were deadly serious but I couldn't see his logic. Claire and I were more important than the others? Really?
"Won't they get suspicious?" I asked quietly, shuddering at the prospect of them finding out about Claire.
"Perhaps, but they respect me enough to let me be" he explained, his confidence in his family astounding me.
"Bella, I would be honoured to be a part of yours, and Claire's lives" He smiled softly, his face making it impossible not to believe him. I found myself smiling back, my heart significantly lighter.
I wasn't alone. I had someone to talk to, someone I could lean on, a friend.
--
Jeez, this one took so long to get out!
For those of you that read my other stories, I AM SO SORRY!
I have a computer in my room, an ancient really slow one but a computer all the same and I have been taking advantage of the constantly available Word Document. So far, I have around 43 stories on my p.c.!
I have never finished a FanFic because my mind gets so distracted with other new stories and I get bored with the old ones!
But this one will be finished! I swear on my grave!