MSN-04 Sazabi: Hello all!! I've returned from the unending bureaucracy of Purgatory to continue "Rau's New Plaything Mk II". Read, review, and

enjoy. XD X3 ^3^ I do not own "Kidou Senshi Gundam SEED", its characters, or anything else I satirize for that matter.

"What the fuck?"

Tolle was at a loss as to what was going on, for one thing, he doesn't understand French, so he doesn't know how to help Kira. Before he could say anything important, however, a fight broke out.

"CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!"

Tolle looked over to the direction of the shouting and saw Murrue and Natarle staring each other down, hunched over, and circling each other. A crowd had gathered around them.

Murrue shouted, "Why don't you say that to my face!?!?"

"All right then 'Murrue Ramius is a sick-minded, boy-mincing, pedophile FREAK!!" Replied Natarle.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"

With that said and done, Murrue charged at Natarle, combat knife ready. Unfortunately for Murrue, however, that fact that Natarle was a sentient cat in a human's body gave her amazingly fast reflexes, as she dodged Murrue's charge, she quickly brought her knee up and smacked Murrue in the chin with it. Murrue staggered back, fazed but still capable of fighting. Murrue wiped some blood from her jaw and chuckled.

"Impressive. Most impressive."

Natarle extended her feline claws and prepared to slash at Murrue, but the Archangel Captain gave Natarle a good uppercut and sent Natarle flying back. Natarle landed with a thud on her back and Murrue jumped, preparing to stab her in the neck with her knife when Natarle rolled to the left and got up with a kick in the air. Natarle then performed a flying dragon kick to Murrue's head. That blow knocked her out, and Murrue fell. The tables have turned and with red eyes and a hiss Natarle prepared to gut Murrue like a fish when another voice interrupted.

"WILL YOU PEOPLE SHUT THE FUCK UP!?!? I'M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP, GODDAMMIT!!!!"

Natarle turned her head to the voice and her eyes went wide in utter shock.

Fllay was standing there with a faded green tank top, a pair of Daisy Dukes, brown combat boots, and was holding a pair of 4-barreled, belt fed machine guns, complete with a bandolier. Basically, our favorite bitch has just become a rugged, foul-mouthed gun nut.

Shocked, Natarle managed to mutter out, "Fllay, is that you?"

Fllay responded: "No duh, jackass!!"

…

… Silence permeated the room until Kuzzey decided to unceremoniously break the silence by saying: "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, MAGGOTS?!?! DO YOU WANNA STARVE TO DEATH?!?! THIS IS BREAKFAST TIME, THE MOST IMPORTANT TIME OF THE DAY… with exception to actual combat of course. SO SHUT UP, QUIT GAWKING LIKE A BUNCH OF SLACK-JAWED HICKS, AND GET BACK TO EATING!!!!"

Annoyed with the lack of attention, Kira shouted: "Allo? Ich kann nicht spreche auf englisch! Qui est-ce-que helfe mich?"

That caught the attention of Fllay and she moved over to Kira.

"Hey, big guy; what's YOUR fuckin' problem?"

Kira's expression brightened as he got the attention of someone and he jovially said: Vielen Dank ist mein Problem ich können nicht spricht in anderer Sprache, und ich kann spreche auf französisch nur!" Fllay, unfortunately, lacks a knowledge of German and was confused until a depressed looking goth Miriallia got up and said: "He said that his problem was that he can't speak in anything other than German."

"Uh… sorry, but you're pretty much fucked, kid." Said a defeated Fllay until the D&D nerd Sai got up and said: "Actually, you can help him, his problem can be solved by eating the Sacred Cookie of Annunciation."

Fllay had a bored look on her face and nodded for Sai to go on, having decided to play along now that she was already up and about.

Sai cleared his throat and continued, "the cookie can be found in the Dark Pits of K'zan. To reach there, one must traverse across the Bridge of Death, which hangs above the Gorge of Eternal Peril, then, one must travel through the Evil City of Nin, defeat the Dragons of Eternity, and solve the ancient riddle of The Sphinx to find the key to open the doors to The Ruins of The Words, where one must survive the harsh trials and only then may one bite the Cookie of Annunciation."

Kira had an absolutely terrified look on his face, but Fllay simply said: "And… how do we get there?"

Sai then went on to a longwinded explanation. To make a long story short, they had to get to PLANT and ask the Old Lady of Aprillus first. How do they get there? That detail was still undecided; fortunately, that was about to change when the sound of nails on a chalk board could be heard. Everyone turned their heads to see the resident mobile armor pilot dressed up like Captain Gloval from "Macross", right down to the pipe in his mouth.

Mu then started speaking "Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll get you where you need to go, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad times! Not like going down to the store and pickin' up groceries. Little shakin', little tenderizin' from enemy warships, down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll get ya what ya need and where ya need to go, that'll put all your troops on a fightin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant! I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll get ya there for three, but I'll get ya there, and back, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive and keep fightin' the good fight, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, surrender to the Pink Empress of ZAFT. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this ship. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

Everyone soon erupted with mutterings of "What the fuck is he on about??" and "Is he SERIOUS?!?". This however, did not deter young Miss Allster from saying those two fateful words, "You're hired".

So… what do you guys think? I'd like to hear your thoughts in your reviews, please!! Thank you for at least reading!! XD X3