He raised his eyebrows at her tone and she continued. "I'm more than willing to help you with your problem. I doubt pretending to be your girlfriend is going to be difficult, but I got caught up in the excitement of proving my father wrong yesterday and it was only once I calmed down that I realised that my part just isn't doable. There's just no way we can pull it off."
"Why not?" he asked, cocking his head to the side and watching her carefully. "Are you scared of a few little hexes and some big nasty boys?"
"NO, you annoying little brat!" she said, smacking him lightly, surprised when she made contact with his toned stomach and startled further when a feeling of warmth spread through her from the unplanned touch.
"What's the problem then?"
"Well, I'm not a boy for starters. There are no girls on any of the teams – are girls even allowed to participate?" she asked, arching her eyebrows at him.
"No, you are most definitely not a boy," James stated, letting his eyes run over her body appraisingly and Lily couldn't help but smile a little at his obvious appreciation.
"But," he said loudly, switching to an official sounding voice, "no where in the schools charter, or the rules of the sport, does it say that a girl cannot take part or be a member of a school team. In fact, hundreds of years ago there were loads of girls participating. It was only when the Victorian mindset filtered into the wizarding and Muggle worlds that women started to be considered the weaker sex, and therefore their involvement deemed unsafe and unladylike."
"Really?" asked Lily, intrigued. "They kept that information quiet, didn't they?! – I reckon there are loads of girls that would love to take part, and it's outrageous to have all this macho bullshit preventing talented duelers from participating just because they don't have the right anatomy!"
"I know, Lily!" James agreed loudly, overriding what was sure to become a rant on women's rights, before asking playfully, "So, any other excuses?"
"I'll need a permission slip signed," she said, crossing her arms and smirking. "Which my father will never do."
"Ahhh, the joys of a forgery," James singsonged.
"I can't forge his signature, the teachers would know in an instant, there are spells they use to check!"
James laughed. "Who ever said anything about forging his signature?"
Expecting Lily's obvious confusion, James elaborated without waiting for a comment ."He's a Muggle right?"
"Yeah, so?"
"So, all we have to do is charm the dueling permission slip to look like a… I dunno…a … a dance class permission slip –"
"There are no dance classes at Hogwarts," Lily pointed out bemusedly,
"It doesn't matter because your dad won't know that – I'm sure he'll sign it in seconds. Then it's a simple matter of ending the charm so that we'll have the correct slip with a perfectly legitimate signature!"
Lily opened her mouth to protest, but could find nothing wrong with his plan, so instead, tackled a different problem. "I love watching duels, and I'm rather good at Defence, but I've only ever tried dueling in class once or twice with a friend – I've certainly never done it competitively before."
"You'll be fine and you'll make the team, I'll make sure of it," he confidently said, waving her worries off. "As long as you have a good basic knowledge of charms and hexes, which I know you have because of your class ranking, I can teach you the rest – before long you'll probably be the best on the team… other than me, of course!"
"Oh, of course," Lily said weakly.
"Lily, are you running out of excuses already?" James sighed disappointedly. "I was sure you were more creative than that!"
After taking time to think, she triumphantly retorted, "The team won't accept me. Technically, I may be allowed to join, but if what you just told me is true, I'll be one of the first girls in a hundred years! Not to mention the fact that if my father comes to see the tournament, he'll pull me out the moment he sees me in the uniform. He'll spot me straight away!"
"How could he not?" James laughed, grabbing a lock of her hair and tugging gently, "With hair like this?!" When he saw her outraged look though, he rolled his eyes. "It was a compliment, Lily," he sighed. "You have lovely hair. Are you always this defensive?"
Lily settled down a little before smirking, "Lovely or not, it's still a problem."
He laughed. "Lily, Lily, Lily, welcome to the world of the Marauders,. There is very little that can't be done with a little thought and some masterful brewing skills," he assured, pulling a backpack off his back.
Intrigued, Lily looked at the contents before yelling out, "You've got to be bloody kidding me!"
"You certainly have the language for the sport," James dryly remarked.
"You want me to take potions so I'll look like a boy?" Lily asked faintly, all colour suddenly draining from her face.
"Yeah" he shrugged, smiling slightly at the look of total shock and terror on her face.
"That's…that's just ridiculous… isn't that taking this just a little too far…A boy, you want me to act, dress, talk… all round pretend to be a boy… in front of people?!"
"You won't be dressed as a boy all the time, "he comforted desperately, trying not to laugh at her reaction. "Just while you're at team training and at the actual competition, of course."
"A boy," Lily repeated quietly to herself, trying to wrap her mind around the concept.
"How else did you expect to do it?" he asked, interrupting her thoughts gently. "Your previous points were all very valid; your father would pull you out of the tournament the moment he realised what you intended to do, and although I think that the guys on the Gryffindor team would be very accepting of you once you'd proved yourself, I don't want to put you in that kind of danger."
"Danger?" she sceptically asked.
"Of course," he replied seriously. "Don't you think being the first girl on a team in centuries would be like placing a large target on your back? It's a very testosterone driven sport and a lot of people will be out for your blood – trying to prove you don't belong there. This way-" he said, lifting the bag a little, "-when you reveal yourself at the end of the tournament, not only will you have proved yourself to your father, but you will also have unequivocally proved, without prejudice, to the school that girls are more than capable of taking part and, if all goes well, more than capable of winning."
Lily nodded faintly, desperately trying to digest everything.
"Not to mention, as my girlfriend, both you and I would receive a lot of flack if you joined the team as…you. Everyone would say I put you on the team because of how I 'feel' about you, no matter how good you are, or will be. It would tarnish your performance and my term as captain."
"Bloody hell."
James snorted but didn't bother to respond otherwise.
"What about the teachers?" she feebly asked, trying not to think about what she would have to do and what would happen if she was discovered before the right time.
"I think you'll find that when you have a reasonable request – and sometimes even when it's unreasonable – Professor Dumbledore can be exceedingly accommodating," James confided, smiling at her conspiratorially.
"You want to ask Dumbledore?!"
"I already did—and of course I asked him, I would never do something like this without his permission, not to mention we never would have got it past him even if we'd tried. He knows every student who has ever passed under his tutelage. You think he'd miss an unknown, tiny, redheaded boy taking part in the most prominent dueling competition of the year?"
"No, I guess not," she smiled weakly. "Okay, fine, we'll practice alone and if I feel like I have a real shot, then I'll go with you to a team practice. If all goes well and we pull it off there… well then… we'll see."
"Excellent. Knew you'd see it my way eventually," James crowed.
"A boy," said Lily to herself, shaking her head one last time in disbelief. She decided it was best to move on and just not think about what she'd just agreed to do too much; if she did, she knew she'd back out. "Okay, so on to my end of the bargain then."
"Your end?" he asked, frowning.
"Yes, I think we need to establish some boundaries – if I'm going to pretend to be your girlfriend, that is."
"Oh yeah, I guess you're right – this needs to be smooth and fluid if it's going to be believable."
"And we don't want any misunderstandings," Lily added.
"What kind of misunderstandings?" James asked innocently, but by the way his eyes set fire Lily knew he'd understood what she'd meant.
When she eyed him crossly, he became serious again. "Yeah, okay, so…well classes won't be a problem because we're always assigned seating. And unless we want to get detentions for inappropriate behaviour in classes, we won't be able to talk or anything so… so it's only at meal times, in between classes and in the common room that we have to do anything," he finished.
"Yeah, so?" Lily said, waiting for him to make the first suggestion.
"So?" mimicked James.
"Umm… How about we eat meals together?" Lily offered.
"Definitely," James agreed before saying, "I'll walk you to class as often a possible?"
"Fine."
"And I'll carry your books," he said firmly.
"You bloody well will not!"
James sighed, having expected that. "Fine, how about I carry half your books?"
Lily contemplated that. "Fine, but only if I have more than four in my arms."
"Done," James agreed quickly, knowing that that was the best concession he could expect, as he knew how fiercely independent she could be.
"Evenings?" she questioned.
"How about we work together on homework for an hour in the common room? At least that way we're being productive and putting on a show, and then when we slip out, people will think we're going off to snog in a classroom somewhere and what we'll actually be doing is going to a classroom and practicing?"
"Yeah, that's good… really good – I'm so glad you're on my side!" she finished jokingly.
James laughed before saying, quite seriously, "After this favour, I'll always be on your side."
She smiled gently at that. "If we pull this off, I think we'll be even." She adopted her professional demeanour again. "Okay, now the hard part."
"What hard part?" James asked stupidly.
"Affection. We're going to have to be semi-affectionate if this is going to be even reasonably believable. We're both known to be quite passionate people, so there's no way either of us would be in a serious relationship without giving it our all," she stated confidently.
"True, how about holding hands?"
"Can't really be avoided," she sighed.
James looked up at her quickly at that.
"Not that I'd want to avoid it, per se, I'm sure you have lovely hands. I was just commenting on the necessity of it… oh never mind – you may also put your arm over my shoulder, but at no point are your hands to rest any lower than my waist," she stipulated, looking straight at him.
"Okay," responded James. "Names?"
When Lily looked at him blankly, James rolled his eyes before dryly saying, "We can't keep calling each other by our surnames."
Lily scrunched up her nose before saying, "I don't really like pet names, especially not mushy ones, but I suppose you're right. We can't call each other Potter and Evans anymore. We should use our Christian names and…I guess you can call me 'Lils', if you'd like."
"Lils?" he smiled.
"Yeah," she said self-consciously. "The only other person to call me that is my dad," she shrugged.
"I like it," he said softly. "It's kind of sweet."
"Thanks," she said uncertainly, before asking, "So what about you?"
"Well, the boys call me Prongs, and I refuse to repeat what my mother likes to call me, it's too humiliating." Lily grinned at that. "So I guess you can call me whatever you like, except Jim, I hate Jim."
"Okay, snuggle tush," she joked.
"Stop, that's almost as bad as my mother," he smiled good-naturedly, before asking nervously, "Umm what about kissing?"
"No," she firmly told him. "I'm not some kind of whore and you don't get freebies with the act!"
"I know you're not, and I know I don't," he was quick to say."But we're going to have to do more than hold hands with the occasional hug, otherwise people will start to talk," he argued softly. "Come on, Lily, you know I'm right – would it really be that bad to have me kiss you a little?"
"Fine," she conceded. "Hair, cheek, with a small pecks on the mouth if, and only if, the occasion desperately calls for it. It doesn't really need to be more than that, and if anyone asks- I just don't like public displays of affection."
James nodded. "Fine. You're going to have to meet my parents at some point, too."
"Really?" she asked nervously.
"Yeah – did you think I could just write letters telling them about you and that would be enough?"
"Well, yes actually," Lily admitted, suddenly feeling a little stupid.
James laughed, without any malice. "Oh, Lily, do you honestly think it's that easy for me? If that was the case, I would have done something like this ages ago. Heck, I may even have made a girlfriend up if it got me some peace, but I'm afraid any girls I start to date seriously are summoned to my house and inspected."
"Inspected?" she asked incredulously.
"Yeah, how do you think I got such a good reputation?" he asked sarcastically.
Lily shook her head indicating she had no idea.
"You remember fourth year?"
"Sure," she shrugged before smiling, "but you're going to have to be a little more specific."
He rolled his eyes at her before continuing. "Remember? That was when I got my first serious girlfriend."
Lily looked thoughtful for a second. "Oh yeah, ummm Karen? – Karen...?"
"McHaven." James supplied helpfully. "She was sweet and we liked each other in that childish, 'first serious crush' way - but after my family's interrogation she was so traumatised she broke up with me. After that, I've never allowed a relationship to last longer than a month and I never let it get serious. I didn't see the point. So, naturally, I seem to go thought a lot of girls."
"Oh… I see," she said, just because she couldn't think of anything else to say.
"Yeah," he said, voice deadpanned. "Anyway, you've got fire – I actually think you might pass inspection."
"How do you know?" she asked curiously.
"I like you," was his simple reply before continuing. "Even if you don't pass, I know you're not the type of girl go to crying into your pillow afterwards. You can take it."
Lily blushed at his compliment, inordinately flattered by how he thought she could take it and that he thought his parents would like her.
"But what about when it ends, won't the process just start again? You'll be right back where you started."
"Probably," he shrugged. "But if they think I like you enough I'm sure I'll be allowed a recovery period. By that time, who knows? Maybe I'll be ready to actually consider getting married, and if not, at least I will have had some peace."
Lily scoffed, but let it go.
"Okay, so tomorrow we start; we'll walk to a few classes together, be seen having a few conversations, and then in a few days you sit with me in the common room. We'll hold hands, flirt a little, and then we'll seem to be having a… a… serious conversation. That can be when I ask you out." Seeing her nod, he finished by saying, "What we'll really be doing is working on the permission slip."
"Okay, that's fine," sighed Lily.
"Right. So tomorrow, the ball starts to roll?"
"Can't wait." Lily replied dryly.
--
AN
I had a hard time deciding if I should go down the "cross dressing" route – I thought it might be a little "hammy" or perhaps even "childish"? I even have an alternate chap – so if you would prefer her to get on the team as…her just let me know and I will repost
I would like to send out, get wells to pippapear, and Kate who both have colds at the moment – I hope this chap goes a small way to making you feel better – even if it is only for a second! (same goes to anyone else who's feeling poorly)
REVIEW!