Lily turned up in the tower room at the regular time ready to duel, but when she opened the door she wasn't greeted with the usual sight of James ready and waiting in his practice uniform. Instead, she found him sitting at a table with at least ten books stacked up next to him, and a small journal-like book held in front of him.
Lily was so surprised by the unexpected scene that she could only stand and stare.
Eventually James coughed and nodded poignantly at the chair next to him, indicating she should sit down.
She did so hesitantly, unable to tear her eyes away from his face, wondering what he would do next.
When he placed a journal similar to the one he was holding in front of her, she was so confused that she could only gather enough of her senses together to stare at it.
James's amusement was increasing by the second, but he forced himself under control. "This," he said, passing her the journal that was in his hands, "is a book of every useful spell I've come across this year."
"Useful?" she repeated stupidly.
"Yes, useful, for both protection and duelling."
"This year?" she murmured weakly, staring at the very full and obviously very used book.
"Yeah, I've got loads of books just like this one, going back years –"
"Well, of course you do," she said almost to herself, shaking her head incredulously.
"You should see the ones from my first few years here, though," he continued, as if she hadn't spoken. "They're full of plans for our stupid pranks – you know, on second thought, perhaps it's best if you don't see those..." he trailed off thoughtfully, causing her to laugh, and he was pleased to see she was starting to regain her motor functions. "But from about fourth year onwards, I began to use them properly."
"Properly?" she asked, starting feeling stupid and self conscious for not having formed a proper sentence since entering the room, but not having a clue as to how to make her mouth and brain start working intelligently again.
"Mm, it's a habit I picked up from my dad," he explained. "I use them to jot down spells I think I can use, ones that I need more practice with, or sometimes, I just make a note to remind myself to look something up or try something out."
"This," he said, now indicating the blank journal he'd given her, "is your 'spell journal'… or at least it will be once you start writing in it."
"Start?"
"Yes, we've covered all the smaller, simpler spells that you already know, and so now it's time to step up our training and move on to learning new and more powerful spells," he said, choosing his words carefully.
"More powerful?" she asked, suddenly too intrigued to remember to feel stupid by her inarticulateness.
"Yes, the slightly more obscure and powerful spells."
"Okay," she said, feeling excitement starting to bubble within her.
"So, I'm changing our routine. We'll still meet in the mornings to exercise, but from now on we'll use one of our designated training days to research spells, charms, and hexes. Whenever we find one that we deem worthy of learning, we'll spend our other two training days practicing it."
"Okay."
"You look a little shocked. Are you alright?" he asked, peering at her worriedly.
"I'm fine, it's just… just that…you're just so dedicated and you take it so seriously. Not that I thought you were flippant about it before, but this goes so far beyond anything I expected."
"I've told you before, that's why I'm one of the best… it's because I put in so much time and effort. It's not just about winning a school competition, and it's not just about bragging rights. To be honest, whilst I'll admit its fun to win and to have a legitimate reason to kick Snape's arse, it's not just about that either… really all that's stuff is just practice."
"Practice?" she said, confused. "Practice for what?
"Practice for real life, practice for after school. I know you, Lily, and I know you've been reading the newspapers. You know what's going on outside this castle, we're on the brink of a war. People are getting hurt everyday, people are getting taken right out of their houses – I'm not doing this just to help you prove something to your father. I'm doing it so you'll be able to protect yourself."
Lily was stunned, she had known, but she was still surprised to see how much he'd thought about it, to see how much he really cared.
"Thanks, James," she said, touched.
He nodded. "You should take your journal everywhere with you, that way if you come across something during the day or in a class, you can write it down. Trust me when I say that before you know it your book will be full. I'm already on my second this year."
"Wow."
"I want you to take mine tonight and read it through. Anything you don't recognise or want to try, mark it up and we'll go over it at our next session."
"Okay," Lily said, as she flicked through the pages noticing that each one was covered in his tiny messy scrawl. "This is amazing, James," she said, turning towards him and finding herself mesmerised by his intense gaze.
"It's necessary."
"I agree, so what do we do?"
He chuckled. "It's boring, I'm afraid. We each take a book and start to read – anytime you come across anything interesting, write it down and we'll look at it together later.
"Let's start!" she said eagerly.
He grinned and passed her a book, trying to ignore the sudden tingling awareness he felt rushing through his body as her hand occasionally brushed his.
--
"Umm… Lily?"
Lily heard a hesitant voice call her name as she left her Wednesday Arithmancy class.
She turned towards the voice and smiled, finding James leaning casually against the opposite wall.
Her smile widened when she realised he'd been waiting for her, but it faded quickly when she saw the serious and slightly nervous look on his face. Without a second thought, she turned away from the friend she'd been talking to and crossed the corridor, coming to a stop right in front of James.
"What's the matter?" she asked, grabbing his hand without even really thinking about it.
He stared down at their intertwined fingers and used his grip to pull her closer. "I'm sorry," he sighed.
Lily was starting to get worried. "James," she said, a little more sharply than she'd intended. "Tell me what's the matter."
James sighed before releasing one word, "Hogsmeade."
"What about it?" demanded Lily, really confused now. For a moment she'd thought he was going to tell her their plan had failed for some reason.
"There's a Hogsmeade trip scheduled for this weekend. The notice was just posted."
"Oh," Lily said, her body flooding with relief, before noticing he still looked upset. "What's wrong with that?"
"Well…we have to go… together."
"Have to?" she mimicked, her throat constricting tightly. "Don't… don't you want to go with me?" she asked, an inexplicable amount of hurt and pain filling her at the thought that he didn't want to spend that time with her.
Was she really that awful?
"What? Of course I do! I thought you were the one who wouldn't want to go with me—and …and I just didn't want to ruin your weekend. I know you, Jennifer, and Emily normally go together, but I also don't want to ruin all the hard work we've done convincing everyone we're dating…"
Lily let out a relieved breath and chose to ignore the reasons why she felt so relieved. "So what? You normally go with Sirius, Remus and Peter," she pointed out. "Does that mean you don't want to go with me?" she asked, looking for further reassurance.
"Of course I want to go with you, but I've always liked you Lily, whereas you have always had a severe dislike for me – and, correct me if I'm wrong, but I've asked you many times and none of those have ever ended well."
He hardly ever talked about what things had been like between them before they'd made their agreement, and she rarely saw this self-conscious side of him, but she found it oddly endearing. "Oh, James," she sighed. "Things were different back then, and I am sorry for it, but everything has changed now…I…I like spending time with you."
"Really?" he asked, a sly smile slowly spreading across his face. "Wait, wait, let me just take a moment to bask in the glory here!"
"The glory?" she laughed.
"Yeah… after six years, The LilyEvans has just agreed to go to Hogsmeade with me. Should I start preparing for Armageddon?"
"No, you insufferable git," she said swatting him lightly on the stomach. "And what's all this rubbish about me being The Lily Evans now? I'm not just Lily anymore?"
"Right at this minute you're The Lily Evans," he nodded seriously, before adding, "I feel like I should be doing a jig or something!"
"Please don't," she laughed.
Curiosity getting the better of him, he asked, "What if I did?"
"I would have to walk away and pretend I didn't know you," was the cheeky reply.
"Oh."
He looked so disappointed. Lily laughed, "Fine, I won't leave, but I'm going to go stand over there while you do it!"
She turned and started to cross the hall again when he frantically called, "Wait, wait!"
"What now?" she asked, smiling at his antics.
"I've got to do this right!" he told her, grinning like a lunatic.
He grabbed her gently by the shoulders and turned her, so that she was the one now leaning against the wall.
"James, wha—"
"Shush!" he commanded. "Just indulge me...please."
Lily nodded, eyes sparkling.
James took her hand and pulled it gently to his lips, laying a kiss on the tender spot on the inside of her wrist.
"Lily?" he said quietly, his eyes bright.
"Yeah?" she answered, smiling at him fondly.
"Would you do me the great honour of accompanying me to Hogsmeade this weekend?"
By now the whole hallway was watching the tableau unfold, but as usual, neither of the pair seemed to notice.
"Yes," she whispered. "I would love to go to Hogsmeade with you."
James beamed, but still looked nervous, and Lily, having expected a slightly more exuberant celebration, became worried again. "What now?"
He smiled reassuringly, but added hesitantly, "I know I'm probably pushing my luck, but would you also come to the Quidditch match the day before? I'm playing and I'd really like… it would mean a lot to me if you would…be there."
She laughed at his apprehension and nodded her acceptance. "If it will make you happy, I'll even wear a Gryffindor jersey with 'Potter' written across the back."
He whooped before picking her up and spinning her around. "I hope you know I'm going to hold you to that!"
Lily didn't answer, just smiled back at him. Then she heard someone wolf whistle and Sirius's obnoxious voice shouting out, "If you're quite finished, could you move along? You're holding up the flow of people."
The real world came crashing back in sharp and painful focus.
And Lily suddenly felt very stupid. Of course he had asked her. She was his pretend girlfriend; it was all part of the act. And inexplicably, she felt sadness well up inside of her. For the briefest moment, she couldn't help but wish that everything that had just happened had been real and not just for show.
Little did she know that James was wishing the exact same thing.
---
AN
Thank you all so much for the many reviews you sent – you are all fabulous.
I know I haven't been replying to the reviews like I normally do – I'm sorry but I just haven't had the time – If there is something in particular you want me to respond to just let me know and I will endeavour to reply!
But PLEASE don't stop reviewing
As for Lily feeling weak – there won't be an immediate resolution to the problem and you're all just going to have to wait and see what happens!
Thank you once again