Disclaimer: All the characters herein, with the exception of some random extras, are the intellectual property of Eiichiro Oda and all the companies involved with publishing and production of the One Piece manga and anime. I just twisted 'em a bit.
Spoilers/Warnings: This story will eventually encompass the entire first season of the anime, which is up to about halfway through volume 11 of the manga, just so you know. There's a bit of a spoiler of sorts in this part, but unless you already know about what I'm spoiling, you probably wouldn't pick up on it, so... This is an AU, so many things have been changed/altered/warped to suit my needs. Also, there is some language and violence.
Pairing: None. However, I like subtext, so you can probably find hints of just about anything, if you look for it.
Dedication: To the OP at the fanforall at LJ, for requesting a cowboy AU and spawning this in my brain. Many thanks to Dandy Wonderous for beta-ing.
A/N: Name order for all characters has been westernized. Don't like it? Tough cookies! I do not claim to be an expert on anything involving gun fighting, the old west, or the cavalry. I did some very basic research for some of this, but I probably got lots of stuff wrong. Humor me.
Part 9- The Restaurant in the Middle of Nowhere
It was quite a long journey between Syrup and the next major town to the west. However, there was a railroad junction and switch at which had been established a rather unusual sort of restaurant. Though situated in the middle of nowhere, the Baratie, as it had been named by its owner, rarely suffered for lack of customers. The story went that, if you were hungry, you could eat. Thus, the dining area was almost always filled with a fascinating variety of folks. Wealthy travelers requested that their stagecoaches stop for a few hours. Claim-stakers and prospectors heading further west took a break from hot and dusty traveling. Railroad employees, the occasional cavalry patrol, and even outlaws rounded out the clientele.
Luffy and company were getting by alright, food-wise, but the experimentation and improvisation were getting a little old. Every single one of them was thrilled to be looking forward to a professionally prepared meal. Well, Luffy looked forward to every meal, but the rest could appreciate what they had been missing.
"Remember," Nami scolded as they rode toward the restaurant, "we're going to be in public, so behave yourselves!"
Their last meal had devolved into a food fight after Usopp's "tried and true" roasting method had turned several otherwise perfectly good potatoes into lumps of charcoal. Luffy had been gamely attempting to eat his anyway, when Usopp had wondered aloud whether the former tubers might make passable ammunition. This prompted Luffy to attempt throwing his potato at Usopp, but the projectile's lumpy nature caused its flight path to be unpredictable and it hit Zoro instead. Poorly aimed retaliation and chaos ensued.
"Of course," Usopp replied, looking suitably cowed. Luffy appeared to be oblivious, and Zoro just rolled his eyes.
"Luffy, look at me." Her sharp tone managed to catch his attention. "No making a scene, okay?"
"Okay," Luffy responded with a wide grin. "I promise I won't start anything."
"No finishing anything, either." That earned her a shocked look from all three boys. "I mean it," she insisted.
"I'll do my best," Usopp reluctantly offered. Luffy finally nodded, frowning. Zoro narrowed his eyes at her.
"I ain't promising anything," he grumbled, but he looked away first.
Lieutenant Fullbody smiled at the other occupant of the stagecoach. The woman looked away demurely, but the cavalry man was certain he was working his way into her good graces. Fullbody had offered to escort the lady and her transportation, since he and his detail were already headed in the same direction with a prisoner. He leaned out the window to call to one of his men on horseback nearby.
"Status report, soldier!"
"The prisoner is still unconscious, sir! We will be passing by the Baratie shortly!"
"Ooh," the lady exclaimed, "I've heard of that restaurant!"
"Have you?" Fullbody's eyes gleamed as inspiration struck. "It would be no trouble to stop for a meal... My treat?"
The cavalry escorted stage arrived at the restaurant at approximately the same time as Luffy's group. While Nami was "supervising" as Zoro and Usopp secured the wagon and horses, Luffy crossed paths with the lieutenant and his companion in front of the plate glass window by the entrance.
Fullbody took in Luffy's rather disheveled and dusty appearance with a sneer.
"I suppose you consider yourself some kind of a cowboy," he scoffed.
"Nope," Luffy answered with a straight face. "I'm an outlaw."
"Ha," Fullbody laughed in his face. "Move out of the way, boy!" He stiff-armed Luffy into the window as he passed by, not even flinching when the glass shattered, sending Luffy falling into the dining room on his back. The woman turned to see whether the strange boy was alright, but Fullbody grabbed her arm and continued through the door.
"Come, my dear, surely such riffraff is beneath your notice!"
Luffy found himself blinking up at the faces of several startled customers and rather perturbed employees who had been drawn out of the kitchens by the noise. So much for not making a scene! Nami was going to be mad...
"Um, sorry 'bout your window!"
"Don't apologize to us," one of the men scowled down at him. "Save it for the owner!"
Luffy was pulled rather roughly to his feet and escorted to a door in the back.
Meanwhile, Fullbody and the woman had seated themselves. The lieutenant looked around the room, noting a rather conspicuous absence of servers. After a few moments, he finally spotted a blond man pouring wine at another table. Honestly, what sort of establishment had only one waiter?
"Hey, waiter! Over here!"
The man glanced up indifferently, then made his was across the room at a maddeningly leisurely pace. Upon reaching the table, he took a moment to smooth his silk vest before finally locking eyes with the lieutenant.
"I," he spoke slowly and pointedly, "am not a waiter." Then, his attention promptly shifted to Fullbody's dining companion and his entire demeanor changed dramatically. "Good afternoon, mademoiselle! How may I be of service to your most captivating self?" He kissed the back of her hand. Fullbody felt he might have to kill something when she giggled and blushed prettily.
"We," Fullbody stressed the word, "would like to order."
"I'll have the specialty of the house," the lady requested with a smile, batting her eyelashes.
"Of course," the server bowed deeply. "Your every wish is my command, fair lady."
"I'll have that, as well," Fullbody ground out through clenched teeth. He'd do just about anything to get this audacious fool to leave!
"Certainly," the man acknowledged with a shrug. "I'll be back shortly with your soup."
Luffy steadily met the gaze of the livid man across from him. He knew he should probably be a little more contrite, but he was having trouble paying attention to the lecture he was receiving. This guy's mustache was amazing! Maybe he could grow one like that some day...
"Hey! Pay attention, boy!"
"Sorry..."
"As I was saying," the owner, a chef named Zeff, continued to rant, "that window out there was special ordered from a shop back east! It's going to take quite a bit of money and a great deal of time to get that thing replaced, and you're going to foot that bill!"
"I'm awful sorry 'bout what happened," Luffy insisted, "but I don't have a whole lot of money. Isn't there any other way I can make it up to you?"
"We're a little shorthanded lately," Zeff mused, one hand stroking the impressive mustache. "All our servers keep quitting. I'm willing to let you work off what you owe me, but it's going to take you a while."
Luffy's thoughts drifted to his three friends, who were probably wondering what had happened to him, disappearing so suddenly!
"So, how long, exactly, is a while?"
"Tarnation, woman," Zoro fumed as they finally made their way toward the restaurant entrance. "It should not take that long to secure the wagon!"
"Maybe if you'd done what I asked the first time, we'd have been done sooner!"
"Why in blue blazes do we need to be 'oriented to make a quick escape' anyway? You already browbeat us all into being on our best behavior."
"I've also seen what you call your 'best' behavior!" Nami and Zoro glared at each other.
"Anyway," Usopp cleared his throat, "Luffy's been gone a while. Maybe we should have sent somebody with him?"
"It's a restaurant! What's he going to do? Eat every..." Zoro trailed off eyebrows rising. Nami and Usopp looked in the direction Zoro was staring and she let out a little gasp. The plate glass window with the restaurant's name inscribed upon it was gone, a few sad, clinging shards the only remains in the frame.
"You don't suppose," Usopp let the rest of the question remain unsaid.
"What?" an indignant cry in a familiar voice drifted out to them. "I can't stay here for two whole months!"
"I guess you're right, Usopp," Nami sighed. "We should have sent him with a keeper..."
End Notes:
Some of you may be wondering why Fullbody gets to be in the story when so many other minor characters don't. The answer is: I enjoy causing him pain. Also, I need him for Gin's intro later.
Luffy is fascinated by Zeff's mustache because I am fascinated by The Mustache! In my head, western Zeff's mustache is somewhere between Yosemite Sam and Sam Elliott.