"Dudley got skinny?" Ron asked incredulously. "The pig in a wig?"
"Why what did he look like before?" I asked smiling between Harry and Ron.
Just as Harry was about to answer Hermione walked in and he just pointed at her. I snorted into my hand and listened as Ron also burst into another fit of giggles.
"What?" Hermione snarled. She had no clue we were making fun of her weight.
"Nothing," Harry said quickly looking like he regretted making the joke.
"Bite me," Hermione snarled at us. She waddled over to the counter and fanned herself. "Wow Ron seriously turn the heat up higher!"
Ron rolled his eyes at us but turned to Hermione. "I'm very sorry. Would you like me turn it down?"
"No I commented on it for fun!" Hermione snapped. Ron jumped and turned the heat down. London was having a late winter spit. It was sleeting outside. It is almost April and it's sleeting. It better be nice for my wedding. I'll pitch a fit…
"Hermione we need to pick out your dress," I said trying to get her to talk to me. That is one sentence I thought I would never say. Wow I WANT Hermione to talk to me.
"What does it matter? I'm going to be fat and it's all your fault!" Hermione cried looking at Ron as though she would very much like to kill him.
"Well fat or no fat, you need to pick out a dress," I said shortly.
"Fine," Hermione snapped and turned away from me. I paused for a moment and then left the room. "Where are you going?" Hermione snarled.
"You weren't talking to me," I said becoming slightly nervous. Ron now had a black eye because of Hermione. She flung a book and it hit him in the eye. I mean I could duck or whatever I was just afraid she was going to hit me and break my nose.
"That doesn't mean I didn't want you to talk!" Hermione snapped.
"Alright I'm sorry. What do you want to talk about?" I asked setting my planner on the counter.
"I don't know! Why must I always come up with a topic? You talk about something!" Hermione barked.
"Yeah I'm going. You have fun. Floo me when this hormonal rage goes away," I said kissing her head. I rubbed her belly and rushed into the kitchen for my purse.
"Where are you going?" Ron asked me nervously.
"I'm going home before she tries to eat me," I said. Harry raised his eyebrows and I made a face at him.
"You cant go!" Ron said dropping all pretenses and looking down right desperate. "I will do anything."
"Ron, I-" I started but Harry and Ron had on their coats. "Where the bloody fuck do you think you're going?" I said watching Harry put his coat on quickly obviously nervous I might get violent.
"Well we were just going to get a drink or something," Harry said kissing my head.
"Harry Potter so help my god if you leave," I warned. He faltered but turned and left. I stood there for an entire second just in absolute shock. Did they just leave me? Well.
"Ginny where did my husband go?" Hermione bellowed from the living room.
"I don't know," I snapped.
"Well then can you make yourself useful and make me a sandwich?" Hermione snarled.
"Fine," I called back trying to sound polite.
I could just leave her here. I mean who says you need to watch a pregnant lady? If they were meant to be watched daily women would be pregnant for an hour. I could just sneak into the living room and run out without her knowing. I could go out the bathroom window…I cant do that. That is what old, non Zen Ginny would do. I am much more mature.
I want my mother!
I made Hermione her bloody sandwich and walked back into the room.
"Here you go Hermione," I said kindly placing the plate in front of her.
"What did you put in it?" Hermione snapped grabbing the plate from me. I was forcibly reminded of Snape. Then I couldn't get the image of a pregnant Snape out of my mind.
"Uh," I said trying to get the image out, "you know. Honey, bread, turkey," I said frowning as she smiled and bit into it. I honestly just found one in the fridge and slightly heated it up.
"This is just like the one I made yesterday! How did you know?" Hermione asked with a smile. She patted my head and bit into the sandwich again.
"Lucky guess," I said standing up and rolling my eyes. She was a daft girl. I don't know how she was the smartest witch in her year. I mean alright you ask her who defeated Timmy the Big Dumb Troll in 1259 and she'll know. You ask her to duck and she'll stand. Swear to Merlin.
"Is your grandmother coming to the ceremony?" Hermione asked wiping honey off her cheeks.
"Yeah," I said picking up Ron's shoes.
"Oh then I'm not coming," Hermione said huffily.
"Of course you're coming! You're my maid of honor!" I snapped.
"Have your cousin Leah be maid of honor," Hermione said blushing.
"I hate my cousin Leah! Come on my grandmother isn't that bad," I said smiling.
"She yelled at me till I cried," Hermione said.
"That just means she likes you," I said honestly sitting down. "Even better if she smacks you."
"So basically in your family, if you're smacked then you're loved?" Hermione asked frowning.
"No, my grandmother didn't start hitting us until she met us. I mean she doesn't beat us with a belt. Light friendly slaps upside the head. Her favorite is Ron, I don't know why. She always coos over him like he is some Greek god. She loves to make Fred and George afraid. She made them cry once," I said smiling at the memory.
"She made them cry?" Hermione squealed. This was the happiest I have seen her since she found out that in Arithmacy, the more you write the more points you get.
"Like little girls," I said with a smirk. Hermione giggled wildly and looked over at me.
"What color were you thinking for dresses?" she asked sounding slightly softer.
"Shimmery, pale blue almost silver," I said smiling at the maternity dress I spotted in the store the other day and put it on hold for her.
"Wow where did you find it?" Hermione asked sounding happier.
"The dress shop. They have a whole section for pregnant brides maids," I said smoothing her hair.
"I'm sorry the guys left you to be stuck with me," Hermione said and tried to put her plate on the coffee table. She heaved herself for a few seconds before giving up and flinging the plate across the living room.
"I wasn't stuck with you," I said frowning. "Alright maybe I wanted to jump out the window but now I'm having fun. You are just a lot to get used to."
"I know," Hermione said and turned to me. "So do you want kids?"
I was startled by her question. "I don't know," I finally answered.
"You don't know?" Hermione asked looking at me like I had three heads. (A/N two heads are over-rated)
"No, I mean some day I guess kids would be nice," I said shrugging. "I'm twenty-four years old. I don't know if I want to be saddled with a kid just yet."
"Harry is going to want children. He will hold you down and force his semen into you if that's what it takes to have a family," Hermione said.
I looked down. She was freaking me out. Harry would act like an adult about this whole thing. There was a sudden noise from the kitchen and Harry and Ron burst in. Literally burst in rolling on the floor.
"What the hell?" I said pulling them apart. My goodies!
"Say it," Harry snarled.
"Never," Ron answered.
"Say it," Harry said.
"Oh my god what is the matter with you two?" I asked really worried something bad happened.
"Ron said that in a fight, he could take me so we thought we could try it," Harry said breathing heavily.
"That was what the fight was about?" I asked feeling annoyed.
"Yeah," Ron said struggling against me.
"Well have at it," I said enthusiastically.
"Ginny!" Hermione scolded.
I jumped and winced.
"I mean stop it right this instant!" I said in a faux stern voice. Harry and Ron smirked and I pulled Harry away. "Come on you know you don't want to fight so close to the wedding."
Harry looked torn. "Alright," Harry finally answered.
"Good. Hey do you want kids?" I asked like I didn't care the answer.
"Hell yes," Harry said rummaging through their fridge.
"Like how soon?" I asked still in that uncaring voice.
"Well you wanna try now?" Harry asked turning around completely serious.
"Uh, no," I said slowly.
"Well I don't know. Like a year after the wedding I guess," Harry said scratching his head. "Why when did you want to start?"
"I don't know," I answered feeling guilty. I didn't want to tell him maybe six years from now.
"I mean I don't want to be old when our kids are born. You know?" Harry asked turning back to the fridge.
"Ron do you have anything here that isn't for pregnant women?"
"Yeah that Herminal remedy," Ron called sounding like he was watching something.
"You mean the Hormonal remedy?" Harry called reading the label.
"No, the Herminal remedy," Ron called back.
"There is no Herminal remedy," Harry called back. "Have you been eating this?"
"No," Ron said walking in looking panicked. "Hypothetically what would happen if one, a male, were to eat that?" Ron asked trying to peer at the label.
"Oh no," Harry said sounding horrified. "You would become impotent," Harry said looking up at Ron sympathetically.
"What?" Ron said snatching that from Harry and glancing at the label in such a panicked state. He had turned so white even his freckles seemed to disappear. "It does not say that!"
Harry was already howling with laughter. He had the counter holding him up as laughter racked through his body. I was giggling, even though I felt like crying. Ron lunged at Harry, but Harry's Quidditch skills were put to use as he ducked out of the way. I giggled again as Ron threw things at Harry.
I guess kids wouldn't be too bad…
A/N Please read and review. I am sorry to say that in one week from today I will be returning to what I like to call the School for All Those Evil and Just Plain Rude Assholes. Also known as schools. The reason for this announcement is that, I may not update daily. I have to see how easy the work is. I will keep you posted.