They took Ianto's car to Jack's house. "Left here. Go straight… third house on the right."

The same as all those year ago, all Ianto could say when he saw Jacks house was "Wow."

So he said it.

Jack shrugged. "I inherited some money, had nothing to do with it, and I needed a house. Saved enough for uni - if I decide to go – and kept enough to live comfortably, and the rest was money for a house."

"Inherited?" Ianto asked. "Who from?"

"Mum and Dad."

"They… died?"

"Uh… yeah. Well, Dad and Gray did. Mom's clinically depressed, so she's… in a clinic."

"I'm so sorry."

"Why? Unless you pulled the trigger, then you did nothing wrong."

Ianto was shocked by Jack's uncaring tone. "I… guess." Ianto decided to ask what happened later. Jack had a… look… in his eye.

"I missed you, Yan. So much."

"I'm sorry. I'm really am sorry I left."

Jack laughed, but not from happiness. "I'm not asking for an apology. I don't want you to feel guilty. You didn't do anything wrong. I can't imagine that you would ever do anything wrong."

"It seems like the wrong decision from where I'm standing."

"Well, if you hadn't left, I wouldm't be so happy you came back. And I'm sure you'll have a good reason."

"It's stupid. I wasn't strong enough. I should have held up under pressure, I should've stayed and helped you. I'm so weak!"

"Ianto!" Jack grabbed his shoulders, shaking him a bit. "Whatever happened – you are under no obligation to take care of me, and it wasn't your fault, and you are not weak. Your stepdad hit you and bashed you up, and you stayed. That's strong, stronger than anyone should have to be. Especially at thirteen."

"But I didn't stay. I left because of him."

"Then you did the right thing. You got out of there."

"I didn't leave 'cause he was hitting me. I…" Ianto took a deep breath. "I left because he was abusing me."

Understanding washed through Jack's face. "Oh, God, Ianto."

Tears were forming in his eyes, and Jack held him tight,.

"Come on, come sit down on the couch. Tell me everything."

Ianto brushed the tears away, and fell into Jack's warm embrace. "Alice left about a year before I told you. I don't know why I didn't tell you; I was so used to hiding everything home-related, I just didn't. The night she left, he came into my room, completely drunk." Ianto looked at Jack, and Jack could see the fear in his eyes. "I was scared at once, of course, but I thought I was just going to get a beating." He paused, and fresh tears fell down his face. "He beat me, and when he was done, I was barely conscious. I couldn't do a thing. So… he raped me. And it was just… there. I wasn't even there. It was like…" he searched for a word, torment marring his face. "It was like I was watching it happen, to someone I didn't know. I was vaguely concerned for them, but I was in too much pain to concentrate.

It seemed like hours before he was done. But when he was, he just got up off me, put his clothes back on, and told me to put mine on. I hadn't even noticed that he'd taken them off."

Jack, who had been listening in horror, held him tighter, at a loss for words.

"It happened about two to four times a week. The day I left, he'd raped me for seventeen nights in a row. I'm so sorry. So sorry I couldn't just take it."

Jack stare at him, shocked. "Are you apologising for being a victim of rape?" he asked, aghast. "Because that's just… that's just… sick. You did nothing wring – if you'd told me, I would have encouraged you to leave, or at least get out of the house."

"But the second I left, I bet he started on Dafydd." Dafydd is Ianto's brother, Jack remembered. "No, Stephan died not long after you left. Heart attack."

"Oh. That's good, I guess."

"Yes. But I still can't believe… I should have asked more. I'm so sorry."

"Is that why you… cut?"

"No. I… there were other complications, apparently. I have psychological issues from him, from him raping me. I've got OCD from that, PTSD from when some guy shot my sister in front of me, after shooting me in the leg and arm. Then he killed her. That's why I'm back. No place to live."

"Oh, God. God Ianto… Live here, with me. It's got three bedrooms, four bathrooms, kitchens, everything. Stay with me."

"I didn't come here for pity and charity."

"It's not. It's help."

Ianto thought about it. Both were painfully aware of what Jack was offering, and remembering their first kiss. "Thank you. That would be very… kind of you."

He laughed. "I just wish someone had been kind to me."

"What happened to them Jack? Why is your Mam in an institute?"

"There's always been schizophrenia, bipolar and shit like that, in my Mum's side of he family. But she was lucky enough to not have any problems – of so it seemed. Her brother, Alex, came over - just out of the blue, asking to stay for a week or so. Of course, he was allowed – Mum's always been a hospitable person, and he was her brother. Why wouldn't she say yes? It turns out that he had stopped taking his tablets – he had schizophrenia. One night, I heard a sound outside my bedroom. It was Alex, and he said something about 'they showed me what was coming, I promise you this is a mercy', and, and…" Jack gripped Ianto tight, and Ianto held his hand, gently stroking it with his thumb. "And he pulled out a gun, and levelled it at my head. Gray must've heard my scream, 'cause he came running out, and, without hesitating, Alex spun around and shot him. He got him in the shoulder, and there was blood everywhere… I can still see it…"

He buried his face in Ianto's shoulder. "I reached towards his hand and grabbed it. I thought I grabbed his hand, but it must've slipped… I ran before I even realised anything had happened. I just ran… I should have realised… I should have helped him... I saw Dad outside, coming back from work. I told him what was happening, and he ran in to get Gray and Mum." There was another pause, and Ianto kept stroking Jack's hand. "I heard several shots after that. Later, I was told that he shot Gray straight through the head, between his eyes." Ianto could feel the tears soaking into his shoulder. He took no notice. "Mum hid under the bed. Dad was shot twelve times; Alex kept missing anything vital, and he truly thought he was trying to help us. Then he shot himself, just before the police arrived. Gray came out when he heard me scream, and Dad went back to save him.

But all I could do was run."

***

there you go. They're all broken into little pieces, barely holding each other together. If anyone wants me to add Lisa to add to ianto's PTSD, then I will, but I thought it would be sweeter if Ianto had been pining for jack all these years, but brought up with a rapist stepfather, believed being gay was a very very bad thing which it isn't. but rape is. You know what I mean. So; lisa or no lisa? You tell me.

I think I'll go cry now… does anyone have a tissue? *sniff*