Sorry for the delay in posting a new chapter. Real life and all that jazz...(do jazz hands and belt out that last bit a la Chicago...it's a good effect)

Muchas gracias to smmiskimen for being a wonderful beta and getting this chapter back to me so freaking quickly. She's lightning fast people. You better go read her fuckgasmic fanfic, Sex Everyday Keeps the Doctor Away! And then once you have completely fallen in love with the story, give her some reviews and tell her how awesome she is.

So, I've wasted enough of your time. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine nor does it belong to anyone I know. Although I do know someone that looks like SM if it's really dark and you are only looking at their profile.

Chapter 4

BPOV

"Shit fuck!" I yelled out as I pulled my hand quickly away from the muffin pan I had just pulled out of the oven, only to have it slip off the counter and fall loudly to the floor. "Cock suck!"

"Mother! Such language is not appropriate around minds that soak everything up with a sponge." I turned to see my son standing in the doorway to the kitchen with his hands on his hips as he lectured me. "Seriously mother, those words could be repeated in the wrong company and it would only be a reflection on you."

"Well, then I guess it is a good thing that you know better." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"It wasn't me I was talking about." He mimicked me with a raised eyebrow. "Uncle Em is very impressionable."

"And you are precocious." A sleepy voice said from the hallway.

"Uncle Em! You are using your word-of-the-day calendar aren't you?!" Seth beamed at Emmett when he appeared. Emmett narrowed his eyes as Seth, but neither could stop the grins that spread on their faces.

"I'll have you know that the word for today is roborant. As in I am always in need of a roborant after spending time with you." Em ruffled Seth's hair before turning to face me. His eyes widened when he saw the mess on the floor and me sucking on my fingers.

"What happened, B?" He rushed over and bent to pick up the fallen muffin tin.

"No! Don't touch that! It's hot!" I waved him away before he could burn himself as well. He changed course and went to the freezer to get some ice for my fingers.

"Here sweetie. Go sit down and I will get this cleaned up." He gently pushed me to the table where Seth was now sitting, working on a crossword puzzle.

"Seth, honey. You do know you are only 5, right?" I questioned him. He looked up and rolled his eyes.

"You are so silly sometimes mother. Of course I know I'm 5." He shrugged. "I can't help it that I'm smart."

"And modest." Em piped in, turning to wink at us.

There were times I was worried about Seth. He was so much smarter than any other child I had met his age. He learned to read almost as soon as he learned his letters. It was scary how bright he truly was and I was concerned it would hinder his social development. Luckily, with Leah as his sister, my little social butterfly made sure he had friends.

Speaking of Leah…

"Leah!" I yelled down the hall. "You need to be ready soon! We need to leave for school!"

Leah came rushing out of her room in her bathrobe, looking around frantically.

"What's wrong baby?" I asked her, cocking my head to the side.

"Is Aunt Alice here yet?" She looked further into the kitchen.

"No honey. She should be here soon, though." I looked at her, waiting for her to explain her panicked expression.

"She is bringing something over that was delivered to her house yesterday. I want to wear it today, so I can't get ready until she is here." She rushed out in one breath.

"Oh. Well, okay. Sit and have breakfast and she should be here by the time you are finished." I motioned to the table and went to get everything on plates for their breakfast, minus the muffins. The four of us sat together like the strange little family we were and talked about what the kids were looking forward to for the second day of school.

"There's this boy. I think he's my boyfriend. We hugged and I told him I want him to kiss me." Leah was going on and on about some boy she met during recess that was from a different class while Seth continuously rolled his eyes at everything she said. Once she decided to focus on her breakfast, I turned my attention to Seth.

"So, honey, are you excited about today?" I asked, giving him a big smile.

"Not really. I think my teacher was born before the dinosaurs and she spits when she talks." He answered with a shrug while rearranging his fruit on his plate by size.

"We'll get you a poncho to wear to class." Emmett told him and ruffled his hair, something Seth absolutely hated.

"Honey I'm home!" A voice carried through to the kitchen and Leah jumped up to greet our guest, squealing.

I didn't get a chance to say a greeting of my own before I saw two figures move quickly past the kitchen doorway and to Leah's bedroom. The door slammed and I looked at Emmett with wide eyes. When they didn't allow me to see the outfit before Leah put it on, I knew we were in trouble.

Ten minutes later, while I was cleaning up the kitchen, I heard Leah's door open and the chatter of her and Alice. I braced myself for the crazy outfit of the day and turned just as the two walked into the kitchen.

"Ta-da!" Leah exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air and twirling around. Alice stayed by her side, jumping up and down, clapping and doing this strange, high-pitched laugh that made me want to look into getting her committed.

"Best shirt ever!" Emmett exclaimed. I just grinned and shook my head at her silliness.

Although the outfit was, surprisingly a simple jeans and t-shirt combo, the blue shirt had traditional tattoo designs scattered all over, with "My Mom's Tattoos are Better Than Your Mom's" in the center in a bold black.

"We found it online the other day when we were doing our weekly shopping for awesome shirts and Leah insisted that she had to have it." Alice announced proudly. "We also bought a shirt for Seth, but I wasn't sure if he would want to wear it." She looked at Seth with her puppy dog eyes and I was amazed that even a 5-year-old that could pout with the best of them fell for her look.

"Let me see it Aunt Alice." He stuck his hand out and waited for her to hand his new shirt over.

He unfolded the black shirt she placed in his hand and tilted his head to look at it, a slow smile spreading on his face. He started to outright laugh and turned the shirt to show Emmett. I walked over to see the shirt and couldn't help the giggle. It was perfect for my little man – written in large white letters was "Jenius." That's right. My spelling freak of a child received a shirt with genius misspelled. I was absolutely shocked when he quickly changed into his new shirt without even worrying about the fact that it wasn't ironed, but there was no way I was pointing that out to him.

"Alrighty. Now that's taken care of, we need to get going. I have an appointment with Tanya this morning and I don't want to be late." Alice started handing the kids their book bags and taking control of everything as usual. "You know how freaked out Jake gets when he is left alone with her."

We quickly got the kids out and delivered to school. I am proud to say it was a tearless goodbye this time. At least that's what Emmett claims, but I am pretty sure I saw him wipe a tear from his eyes when Leah shrieked and ran to Quil, her 'boyfriend'.

The three of us made our way to the shop afterwards, Emmett deciding to join because he can't miss seeing Tanya.

Tanya.

There aren't words in the English language that describe the insanity that is Tanya BoBanya. I know what you are saying…BoBanya? What kind of last name is BoBanya? She apparently heard her niece singing the name game song and thought it had a nice ring to it, so she changed her name from Denali to BoBanya a few years ago. Her middle name, you ask…Tanya…making her full name Tanya Tanya BoBanya.

The craziness didn't stop there. Tanya loves tattoos, which is great for business. Unfortunately, she likes to design her own tattoos and won't allow the artist to put their own spin on it. She brings in her design and that's what is done. No changes allowed.

I first met Tanya during my first month working at Ink Stains. I was new and trying to get a client base, so I was willing to take her when she came into the shop. I couldn't imagine the tall strawberry-blond woman standing before me would want anything more than a simple rose or heart and knew it was going to be a cake walk. She then stated she just broke up with her boyfriend and wanted needed me to rework the tattoo she had of his name. While explaining this, she unbuttoned her jeans and began to shimmy them slightly off to show her hip. That's when I saw the tattoo, or should I say tattoos, consisting of multiple men's names, each crossed out. She pointed to the one name that was not crossed out and said she just needed me to tattoo a line through it.

A few weeks later, she was back in asking me to add a new name to her hip tattoo and I did it. I'm not even sure the name was healed when she returned and asked if I could go ahead and put the line through it. At that time, I let her know I would no longer be tattooing names on her.

From that point on, the tattoos ranged from drawings her niece and nephew did, the playboy bunny symbol under her ear, her ferret's portrait, and various sayings. I was fed up with dealing with her by the time I hired Alice, and she happily took over stating that Tanya doesn't wear panties, giving Alice a great view of her snatch. Alice's words. Not mine.

Tanya was already waiting for Alice by the time we got to the shop. Alice smirked when she saw Jake cowering in his station, watching Tanya with wide eyes, and mumbled "pussy". The ever-oblivious blonde, was bent over the counter, blabbering away about who-the-fuck knows, giving Jake a great view of her cleavage and the rest of the world a view of her completely bare ass.

"That's what I'm talkin' about!" Emmett exclaimed and Alice gave him a high-five while they stood at the door far too long enjoying the view.

"Hey guys! I was just telling Jakey Poo that I can't wait for the tat I'm getting today." Tanya jumped up, causing one of her tits to pop out of her top. Alice jumped at the change to run over and helped her get her chest situated again.

"Thanks Ali. The girls just wanted to say Hi." Tanya giggled and eyed Emmett as per her usual. "Hiya Emmie."

"Hi Tan-Tan." Tanya hated the nickname and Emmett couldn't stop himself from using it since she felt it her duty to give everyone else a fucking moronic nickname.

Tanya huffed and turned to Alice with a huge smile. She pulled a piece of paper out of the front of her skirt and unfolded it to show her latest tattoo idea. Emmett leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"Ten bucks says Alice keeps that paper and puts it in her night stand to sniff while she masturbates." I felt myself vomit while I tried not to think of where Tanya was keeping that piece of paper. There were obviously no pockets in her skirt.

I left everyone to do their thing, saying a quick hello to "Jakey Poo" and went to my office to get ready for the meeting with the movie people. I wasn't sure if they would want to see more of my work, so I pulled together my portfolio and made sure my favorite pieces were showcased. I printed off a few new pictures of tattoos I finished recently that I was quite proud of.

At 10 o'clock, I was at the front of the shop, making sure everything looked nice for the meeting when Marvin strutted in with a shit eating grin on his face.

"Hey man! What's got you smiling like that?" Emmett asked from his spot laying on one of the sofas we have at the front of the shop.

"Hey Em!" Marvin gave him a man hug and smirked when answering the question. "Remember those twins I was telling you about?" Emmett nodded. "Well, last night they decided to make a Marvin sandwich. And let's just say they were starving."

"Seriously dude?" Marvin nodded in confirmation. "You are the fucking man." Emmett giggled like a schoolgirl, always one to encourage Marvin's antics. I scoffed, bringing Marvin's attention to me.

"Oh, hey wifey." He gave me a nod and wink, causing me to roll my eyes. "Got everything nice and spiffy for our guests this morning?"

"Don't fucking ever say spiffy again. That's just creepy." I shivered, not even commenting on him calling me wifey. He loved to tell everyone we were married, but have an open relationship because I know he's just too much man for one woman. What the fuck ever. "And yes, everything is ready for the movie peeps."

"God damn it. Why does the place smell like ass all of a sudden?" Alice yelled from her station, head down in Tanya's crotch. I don't think she was even doing the tattoo anymore.

"Oh yay! My lover is here!" Marvin clapped and rushed over to Alice for a bit of banter. I swear, one day she was just going to call him on his bluff and offer to fuck him. He wouldn't know what to do with himself.

"Nervous?" I looked down at Emmett, who patted the sofa next to him.

"A little." I shrugged. "It's just weird to think that, as a tattoo artist, I am being asked to do something for a big movie. Just not something I ever imagined as a possibility."

"Here's the deal beauty. You are fucking amazing. They are coming to you because they want the work to be professional and look perfect." He placed his big arm around my shoulder and squeezed. "You are going to be a big name when everyone sees your work. This place is going to be bigger than that tattoo place in Miami. What's the name of that place?"

"Um. Miami Ink?" I gave him a look. "Really Em? You couldn't remember the name of a tattoo shop in Miami named Miami Ink?" I shook my head at him.

"It's not fucking important. What is important is the fact that you are the best tattoo artist I have ever seen and need to cut it out with the nervousness. It could cause you to have an anxiety attack." He looked at me worriedly before his expression changed to one of mischief. "Although, maybe that's a good thing. I need to check the book, but I think I know a good way to help with anxiety."

"Em, we don't have time for even a quickie." I snuggled into him. "But you can definitely help me with my anxiety later."

We sat for a little longer before Emmett decided he needed to get to the bar to check inventory, leaving me with Marvin flirting with Alice, Alice telling him to fuck off while she flirted with Tanya, and Jake just hiding out in his corner hoping Tanya would forget he was there. She already had his name tattooed on her inner thigh, telling him she was just being proactive.

At the exact moment I realized the craziness surrounding me, DMX Party Up started blaring out of the shop's sound system. I laughed, and couldn't stop myself from dancing and singing along with him. And because my life is so fucking insane, I was in the middle of doing some old school hip hop moves I learned from So You Think You Can Dance and belting out "Ya'll gonna make me lose my mind…up in here…up in here" when the door chime indicated someone entered the shop.

Turning, I found that it wasn't just one person who entered, but a group of people, all staring at me with wide eyes. My eyes quickly glanced at the clock to see it was 11 o'clock…which meant these would be the movie people. I called out to Marvin and reached over to turn the music down before greeting the group in front of me.

"Hi. I'm Bella." I waved and looked behind me to see Marvin slowly strolling up to the front of the shop. "And that is Marvin." I pointed my thumb in his direction.

"Hi Bella. Marvin." An intimidating guy, slightly larger than Emmett stepped forward. "I'm Felix. I'm the Director and my entourage is made up of assistants and makeup people that will be working closely with you." He waved his hand behind him, not bothering to actually introduce specific people. I figured we would officially meet them later. "Rosalie should be in soon. She's outside with the actors, telling them to stop being whiny little bitches and get their asses in here."

"Um okaayyyy." I wasn't sure what to say to him, so I just looked at Marvin and shrugged.

"So, you have a couple divas for us, I take it." Marvin smirked, like he knew what he was talking about.

"Oh, just wait. They are convinced there are going to be mobbed by fans when they come in here and wanted us to guarantee their bodyguards would be able to protect them." Felix chuckled. "I tried to tell them we haven't divulged their identity, but they are convinced this is a conspiracy or something."

"That's fine. Have someone go out and tell the douchebags that if they don't get in here now and stop wasting my time, they are going to have 2 male unicorns fucking as one of the tattoos I put on them." I sneered. I turned on my heel and began to head to my office when the door chimed again.

"See assholes. There is no one fucking here." I heard a smooth female voice exclaim. "No one wants to see you fucktards." I laughed loudly and turned to see the face that went with the voice. A tall, gorgeous blonde pushed her way through the crowd and I think I saw someone actually fall down. I watched the beauty with wide eyes as she looked around the shop appreciatively.

"You must be Bella." She walked up to me more graceful than anyone I have ever seen before. Sticking out her hand, she introduced herself. "I'm Rosalie Hale."

"Yep. I'm Bella." I reached out and shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"That's nice of you to say." She smirked. "But, I'm sure you will be saying differently by the end of this little production." She nodded to Marvin, who was surprisingly quiet, obviously intimidated by the model-like woman in front of us. "So, let's get this show on the road and figure out what's going to be happening." She clapped her hands and whistled loudly. "Here boys." She yelled, as though she was calling her dog.

I stared at her, confused for a second, before realizing there was movement behind her. I looked back to the group, still standing in front of the fucking door and saw them begin to part in what appeared to be slow motion. I looked back at Marvin, and noticed that Alice, Tanya and Jake were all now staring at the front to see who would be appearing.

"Bella Swan?" I saw Alice's eyes widen when a smooth voice said my name. I immediately knew the voice and turned quickly to see a familiar face, shock causing me to stand still for a moment. Marvin poking me in my ribs caused me to jolt out of my surprised state.

"Jasper fucking Whitlock?!" I exclaimed, not even caring about everyone else around me. I was too focused on the tall man with sandy blonde hair now standing next to Rosalie. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I rushed to the handsome man and hugged him tightly.

"Shit Bella. I heard them saying your name, but never would have pegged you as a tattoo artist." Jasper wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. "You do remember passing out just at the thought of blood typing in Biology senior year, don't you?" I smacked his arm and huffed.

"Shut it, fool. I obviously got over it." I pinched him and he yelped, rubbing the spot on his arm that I got him.

"Would anyone like to share with the rest of the class?" Marvin finally found his voice and scoffed, probably from me actually being nice to someone.

"I know Miss Bella here from high school." Jasper answered, looking down at me, with his arm around my waist. The wink told me he didn't feel the need to give any additional information. What he was leaving out was the fact that we were high school sweethearts. We lost our virginities to each other and were together until he decided he needed to go into acting. I supported him and willingly pushed him to go to his first audition.

Our split was amicable and we kept in touch for a while. Unfortunately, we had not spoken to each other in years due to his very busy schedule. I kept up with him through magazines and interviews, but never thought I would ever see him again.

"Shit! Wait until I tell Em about this!" I exclaimed. "He is going to fucking jizz in his pants when he sees you." I went to say more, but was interrupted by a loud throat clearing. I turned to the direction the rude noise was coming from, intent on telling the person off. It was at that moment that my world stopped.

"Hello Bella." His voice had not changed, but I knew that from my obsessive tendency of watching every single one of his interviews. He also looked the same…again not a surprise due to my habit of buying every magazine and movie he had appeared in.

"Well fuck." I whispered.

A/N: I would love to see some reviews. I have been in a funk lately and reviews would cheer me up ever so greatly. I'm not one to bribe, but since it seems to be working on my kids and getting them to act better, I think I'm going to reverse my stance on the whole bribery thing. Now, I'm thinking ice cream sundaes wouldn't work with you guys (although you are more than welcome to stop by and have one if you review)...so, how about I guarantee that the next chapter will be up as soon as I get 20 reviews for this chapter. That's not asking for much, is it?