A/N: Ok I know it has been a while, but I have a nice long chapter for you. =) It's the longest one yet. So please enjoy!! =)
(Pictures of outfits and the houses are on my profile.)
E pov
We all sat there in silence after watching Bella leave on the verge of tears. I admit I shouldn't have asked her that, at least not in the presence of her brother but I wasn't thinking straight. All I could see was some guy having what I would never get to have, and it hurt, a lot.
Rosalie was the first to break the silence. "Emmet you crossed the line from protective older brother to a complete Neanderthal asshole." She said seething. "You had no right to bring your fathers memory into it, it was uncalled for and just plain mean."
"Your right Rosie I shouldn't have said what I did I over reacted, but babe she was only thirteen." He said with a harsh tone. "How am I supposed to react to that?" He asked.
Rosalie seemed to be holding something back. "Emmet you never should have reacted like that, you have no idea what happened, so until you know the entire damn story you have no right to judge her!" She said calmly but you could tell there were many emotions behind it. "I had fun Alice but I think I should go." She said before walking out. Jasper gave Alice a quick kiss said his goodbyes and followed.
Emmet excused himself soon after Jasper and Rosalie left. Alice gave him a warning look when he said he was heading home but he said he was just going to bed and would talk to Bella in the morning. As soon as he left Alice settled her gaze on me and if it was at all possible I would disappear. It is amazing how such a small thing could be so terrifying.
"What the hell were you thinking?" She screamed and before I could answer she continued. "Just because you are mad she gave it up to someone who isn't you doesn't mean you can push her away from us!" Her expression softened. "Edward we didn't have her for so long and now that she is here she is just so different, she is still Bella but she is so guarded she seems to calculate every word she says, I just don't want to lose my best friend again." She began crying softly. I walked over and embraced my sister trying to calm her.
"I know Alice, I'm sorry, but were not going to lose her again, I promise." I said more to myself then to her.
(Mature content)
B pov
I knew the second I let the blade slide across my wrist I would regret it, it had been a couple weeks since I had last let my will crumble. It was like opening the flood gates, it felt so good. As I was sitting in the tub watching the water slowly turn pink I couldn't help but think how good I felt. It would only last a few minutes though, the high never stays long. I will soon be numb which is a wonderful alternative to the pain the memories bring.
As soon as the bleeding stopped and the water turned cold I drained the tub and slowly pulled myself up. I could feel the dizziness take over and I just about fell face first onto the tile floor. I stumbled out of the tub and slid down to the floor trying to avoid a head injury. I looked down at my wrists and realized I may have gone a little too far. There were three huge gashes about two inches in length that probably require stitches going across my wrist. "Shit" I mumbled as blood began to trickle down my arm and I rushed to grab some tissue. I cleaned my arm up and wrapped my wrist in gauze. I took my contacts out and put my hair in a loose bun deciding I really didn't want to deal with it.
As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom the heat hit me like a brick wall. Emmet must have jacked up the heater. I rolled my eyes it is hilarious you would never believe he freezes if it is below eighty. I decided to forgo my typical sweats and tee shirt and slipped on some boy shorts and a long-sleeved black button down shirt. I put my glasses on and grabbed my cigarettes out of my sock drawer and stepped out on to my deck.
(End Mature content)
E pov
After Alice calmed down I helped her to her room I made my way to mine. I took a quick shower and thought back over the night's events. I never should have put Bella in that situation, I am such an ass but it hurt so bad to know someone was that intimate with her and at such a young age.
I dried off and slipped on a pair of red and black flannel pajama pants and a thermal long sleeve shirt. I glanced out of my slider and saw Bella sitting out on her deck looking completely illegal in the moonlight. She was in nothing but a button down shirt and had a cigarette between her fingers.
I regained my composure and quietly made my way out on the deck. "You know that can kill you." I said leaning against the rail worry evident in my voice.
She wouldn't look at me she just kept watching the sky as if it held all of the answers. "Not now Edward." She sounded so different from the girl who was laughing and having fun just a few hours ago. She seemed emotionless, it scared me.
"Listen Bells I'm really sorry…" I couldn't even get the apology out before she interrupted me.
"Don't worry about it." She said taking a drag still watching the stars. I would do anything to be able to hear what she was thinking at the moment, to know what answers she was trying to find in the stars.
"It's just I really am sorry." I said trying to portray how sorry I really am.
"Really Edward its fine, you guys would have found out anyway." She said taking another drag. Her voice still held no emotion.
"It still wasn't my place, It's just it's just you were so set in your values before you left it's just hard to believe, I guess we all kind of over reacted."
She turned to face me looking me straight in the eye. "Edward I said not to worry about it ok." Her face was a calm mask of indifference but her eyes were just the opposite, they seemed to hold every emotion she was hiding. She must have realized they betrayed her and I noticed because a look of fear crossed her face. She took one last drag put her cigarette out and walked inside.
As I watched her walk away I promised myself that I would crack the shell that is surrounding Bella Swan.
B pov
I should have walked inside the second he came onto the deck. Honestly how could I be so stupid! Edward is the most observant person I know, and I talked to him right after a breakdown when I am at my weakest. I need to be more careful he will begin to notice, if he hasn't already.
I made my way to my overstuffed couch pulled out my lyric book and began to write.
We sleep forever
She walks the line into her deathbed rings
I say she's all alone
Begging for forgiveness
I won't teach her to lie or make a plan
That clairvoyant stare and grin
God won't forgive me
For this I know
Tragedy unfolds tonight
As you sever my skin apart
Take this sadness and close your eyes love
Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me
Hey, call the angels. We'll mutilate insanity
She cuts a vein although it's much too dull
I say she's all alone
Fighting for redemption
I know little pain, a little lust
I lose myself at night to feel the rush
Of tearing my skin apart
Now take this sadness and close your eyes love
Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me
Hey, call the angels. We'll mutilate insanity
Go deeper, I feel it
I see your ghost appear
Go deeper, I see it
I feel your ghost appear
I won't say goodbye tonight (We'll sleep forever)
Hold on, hold on tonight love
We'll sleep forever
Hold on, hold on tonight love
We'll sleep forever
Hold on, hold on tonight love
Close your eyes
Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me
Hey, call the angels. We'll mutilate insanity
Hey, call the angels. This razor blade was meant for me
Hey, call the angels. We'll mutilate insanity
We sleep forever by Aiden
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I awoke covered in sweat my heart racing. God, will the dreams ever end? I pulled myself off the couch and blindly made my way to my closet and after only tripping twice I finally found the light. I have to say my closet was every girls dream. I put on a pair of leggings, some pink shorts, and my favorite superman long-sleeved shirt and made my way into the misty morning air.
As my feet hit the sand everything began to fade. My life in Arizona, my fight with Emmet, my mistake, everything was gone except for my legs pulling me further down the beach.
After an hour and a half run I finally made it back home. The direction of my run caused me to use the front door which I was hoping to avoid. I wasn't ready to face Emmet yet. I opened the front door slowly cringing at every creak, and made my way down the hall to the staircase. I was just about home free when Emmet appeared.
"Get to the kitchen Squirt." He said leaving the hall. I followed slowly dragging my feet.
"I really need a shower Em can we do this later?" I asked walking into the kitchen.
He pointed to the chair opposite him. "No we need to talk now." I ignored his motion to sit and made my way to the coffee pot. He sighed and began.
"Bells I want to apologize for my reaction last night it was uncalled for, I never should have yelled like that or brought dads memory into it. I over reacted." He said looking ashamed.
"It's ok Em, really you would have found out anyway." I said sipping my coffee, doing my best to look happy.
"Bells you know that if you ever want to talk I'm here, right?" He asked seeming as if he was trying to see past my cover.
"I know but I'm good Em, really." I smiled the best smile I could muster.
He gave me a skeptic look. "Well I should go get dressed." I grabbed my coffee and headed to my room.
"Oh by the way breakfast at Esme's in 45 minutes." He yelled after me.
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After I took a quick shower I through on some skinny jeans, a white peasant dress and some boots. I braided my hair and put on my aviator sunglasses and made my way downstairs. Emmet was waiting in the living room when I walked in.
"Ok I'm ready
"Let's eat!" He jumped up and practically ran to the door. I laughed and followed into the chilled morning air.
"Good morning Bella, I see Emmet remembered to inform you about breakfast." Esme greeted letting me into the warm house.
"Just barely, if I had been five more minutes on my run I think he would have left me behind." I laughed joining her in the kitchen.
"So you're the girl I see running on the beach at the oddest times." Edward said giving me a crooked grin. Maybe he didn't think anything of last night.
"BELLA YOU CAME!!!" Alice yelled crushing me in a hug.
"Of course I came, do you think really I would miss out on Esme's cooking." I tried not to smile as her smile faded.
"Oh" She said dejected.
"And how could I stay away from my favorite little pixy."I laughed as she perked up at my childhood nickname for her.
"Oh Bella we have so much catching up to do, I don't know where to start, OH I know lets go shopping!!!" She started to drag me out of the kitchen toward the door. Finally Carlisle noticed.
"You can dress Bella after Breakfast Alice." She frowned but led me into the dining room to join everyone.
"So Bella we never really got to talk last night, how have you been?" Esme's motherly voice rang through the chaos of voices.
Everyone quieted awaiting my answer. "Great, my grades were good; I had a part time job at the library, and a few good friends." I answered automatically.
"No boyfriend?" She asked and I saw Emmet and Edward stiffen. It was a harmless question but she was treading on my sanity.
"No, no boyfriend, I was too busy I guess." I faked a smile.
I think Carlisle could tell I was getting uncomfortable so he cut in. "I hear Phil is working on a very high profile case, is your mom having fun traveling with him?" I wish he wouldn't have.
I tried to keep my cool at HIS name. "Yeah, I hear the case is very big." I took a drink to calm my breathing. "You know my mom she loves the excitement of a new city." Before any more questions could be thrown at me I quickly excused myself.
I found Edwards room as quickly as if it had been my own and made my way to his deck. I slipped a cigarette out of my bag and lit it. My fingers were shacking as I took the first drag. I was beginning to feel much better. My nerves were calming and the shacking was beginning to stop.
"BELLA!" I jumped about three feet and spun around hiding the evidence behind my back. What that would accomplish I don't know since you could see the stream of smoke from behind me.
I relaxed "God Edward you sound just like Carlisle when you are pissed, you scared the crap out of me!" I said taking a drag staring at an angry Edward.
He stomped up to me and took the cigarette out of my mouth and through it down smashing it with his foot.
"What the hell Edward!" I glared at him.
He glared back getting in my face. "One: that is going to kill you, two: Esme was almost the one who caught you, and three: if I catch you smoking again I will tell Emmet." His face softened. "What is going on with you Bella?"
He asked for it. "One: What I do is no business of yours, two: don't ever get in my face again, and three: Fine tell Emmet but don't expect to see me again." I said storming out.
"Bella wait." He said grabbing my wrist. A sharp pain shot up my arm. I spun around and slapped him sending his head to the side and causing his hand to fly to his left cheek.
"And four: Don't ever touch me again." I hissed at him. He stood there stunned as I made my way downstairs.
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A/N: Let me know how you liked it or didn't like it. Reviews are loved!!!! =)