Chapter 8...
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Brianna asked, slicing tomatoes.
Gia was sitting on one of the barstools at the island in the middle of the kitchen, her chin resting in her hand, a sly smile on her face.
"I'm just surprised," Gia shrugged. "It's interesting to me that someone that was so angry about John being here the other day would invite him to dinner tonight."
"Did you just graduate from the Raquel Davenport School of Overanalyzing?" Brianna asked. "Maya invited him, not me."
"Maya is six, it's not her house," Gia reminded her. "She made the suggestion but you said it was okay."
"Because it's what Maya wanted," Brianna said. "See how this all comes back to Maya and not this undying love for John you and Raquel seem to think I have?"
"Whatever you say," Gia smiled.
Brianna rolled her eyes, laughing a little. She loved her sisters dearly but they were like pit bulls, when they got a hold of something they just refused to let it go.
"We need to get you a love life," she suggested.
"That would be nice," Gia laughed. "Maybe John has some friends."
"Speaking of his friends, did Raquel ever call that guy Jeff?"
"Nope," Gia answered, eating one of the tomato slices Bri had just cut. "She's mad because he didn't call her."
Brianna sighed, shaking her head. Her sister had quite an ego on her and if she got involved with a guy and he didn't flip head over heels for her right away, she took it as an insult.
Gia made a face, looking down at the cutting board and then back up at her sister.
"What?" Brianna asked.
"You don't like tomatoes," Gia pointed.
"Sure I do," Bri shrugged.
"No you don't," Gia eyed her sister.
"Yes I do," Brianna insisted.
"Then eat one," Gia challenged.
Brianna picked up a slice, looking at it and then back at her sister. Then, right on time, the doorbell rang. Brianna quickly dropped it, giving Gia a smile, "Come on, I'll go get Maya, you get the door."
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John felt a little nervous as he waited at the door. Should he have brought a bottle of wine or something? Did Brianna even drink? Should he have brought a gift for Maya? Or a…pie or something?
A Pie? What the hell is wrong with you?
He ran a hand over his hair, trying to remind himself that this was just a dinner. A dinner with someone he'd known since he was a kid. Someone he'd fallen in love with before he even really knew what love was. Someone whose heart he'd broken.
Way to make yourself nervous again, genius
The door opened and Gia smiled at him, "Hey John."
"Hey Gi," he smiled.
"How are you?" she smiled, waving him in.
"Not bad," he said. "How are you?"
"Good," Gia smiled.
John heard loud, high pitch barking and he smiled when Z raced toward him, jumping around his legs.
"Hey," John knelt down, playing with the small dog. He stood, picking the dog up with him, looking around. He hadn't really gotten a great look at the apartment the last time he was there because it was full of people but now that it was relatively empty, he could see how big it was. Brianna had really done well for herself. He looked into the living room, seeing a wall of floor to ceiling windows, one was a door that led out to what looked like a very large terrace. It was very obvious that she had decorated the place. It looked expensive but it wasn't stuffy and uncomfortable. Bri had never been one to throw the fact that she and her family had money in anyone's face. That was usually Raquel.
"Pretty nice, huh?" Gia smirked.
"Not as nice as mine," he smirked. "But it serves it's purpose."
"You should see Maya's room," Gia said, leading him further into the house. "It's like a toy store."
Gia was still saying something but John stopped listening when Brianna walked down the stairs. She looked beautiful. She was wearing jeans and a dark green silk strapless top. Her dark brown waves were flowing over her shoulders and she wore a little smoky makeup around her green eyes. When Z saw Brianna, he practically leapt out of John's arms and raced toward her.
"Hi baby," she scooped him up, giggling and trying to turn away as he tried to lick her face. "Z, no kisses, you're gonna mess up my makeup."
She laughed, putting the dog down and standing up, wiping off her neck, "Maya should be down in a second. She wanted to put on a different dress."
"I'm gonna go help her," Gia volunteered, rushing off.
Brianna looked over her shoulder at her sister.
"She certainly ran off quick," John said.
"Yeah, she did," Brianna nodded.
"Look, I want you to know, whatever it is Raquel and Gi are tryin' to pull…I'm not in on it," John said.
"I know," she said, finally looking at him.
"Honestly, I'm kind of surprised that they would be so welcoming after..what happened," he said, wanting to slap himself for bringing it up.
She bit her bottom lip, looking away. Then she turned, walking out of the foyer.
John followed her, rounding the corner and walking into the kitchen.
She pulled a bag of cucumbers out of the refrigerator, taking out one and starting to peel it.
"Brianna?" he looked at her.
"The salad isn't quite done yet," she said, her eyes focused completely on what she was doing.
"Bri," he eyed her. "You're hiding something."
"I'm debating, should we eat in the dining room or just eat in the living room?" she said, ignoring his accusation. "Because we usually just eat in the living room but since you're a guest-"
"Brianna-"
"They don't know," she blurted, putting down the knife.
"What?"
She ran her hand through her hair, turning and pulling a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. "Raquel and Gia and Troy are being so welcoming because…" She turned back, her eyes finally meeting his, "I never told them."
"You didn't?" he stared.
She shook her head, "I didn't know how…I could barely believe it myself. At first I just told them we broke up because of my moving and I told myself I'd tell them the truth when I could actually get the words out and then, when I finally thought I could, it had been so long and they still talked about how great you were and I just didn't see a reason to change that."
"Well that explains the big welcome back," John nodded.
She nodded as well, looking down.
"Since we're talking about it," John said, feeling a little anxious. "Part of why I wanted to come here tonight was that I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. We never really got a chance to talk about it."
She was still looking down.
"Bri, this would be a lot easier if you would at least look at me," he said.
She looked up, and John could see that her eyes were misty. He immediately regretted his decision to talk about this. He hated seeing her upset.
"You know what I've always wondered," she sniffed.
"What?"
"Why?" she said, her voice barely audible. She was obviously trying to hold back her emotions. "Why wasn't I enough for you?"
John felt a lot of emotions he'd pushed aside come rushing back to him at her question.
"Bri, that wasn't it," John said, stepping toward her. She stepped back and at that moment John would have given up everything just to take back what he did.
She folded her arms, biting her bottom lip. She always did that when she was trying really hard to keep from crying, that or she chewed on her thumbnail.
"I was stupid," he said, his voice catching in his throat. He took a deep breath and continued, "When you told me you were moving out here…I was..I was afraid I was gonna lose you."
"But you weren't," she insisted, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"I couldn't see that," John said. "In my head, you moving away meant me losing you and I couldn't deal with it…I got drunk and I went out with some of the guys..I don't even remember it…The next day, all I could think about was you and how to tell you. Then I realized that if I told you it would definitely be over and I..I didn't want that so I lied. And I will regret that for the rest of my life."
He could see her trying to take deep, shaky breaths. The tears were flowing freely now but she still wouldn't allow herself to let it out.
"Bri, I never meant to hurt you," he said. "That was the last thing I ever wanted. I tried everything I could to talk to you after you found out, I wanted to apologize, I wanted you to forgive me."
"Let me ask you something John," she finally spoke.
He waited.
"If I'm driving along in my car, and everything is fine, it's just a normal day…and then..I hit someone…Is it okay just because it was an accident?" she asked. "I didn't do it on purpose so it cant really hurt anyone..can it?"
She looked up at him, her green eyes filled with tears, and his heart sank. He wasn't sure if there was anything that he could ever do to fix his mistake.
He wanted to do something. He wanted to put his arms around her but she would probably hit him. But if that would make her feel better, he would let her. John's phone rang in his pocket and he pulled it out, ready to turn it off.
"You can answer it," Brianna wiped her eyes, "I need to finish making the salad."
He looked at her for a second, not wanting the conversation to end that way but she was back to slicing cucumber. He turned, walking out of the kitchen.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Hey baby," he heard Paula's voice.
"Hey Paula," he said, rubbing his forehead.
"Baby, I need to ask you something," she said.
"What's that?" he sighed, not in the mood for whatever it was.
She started to speak but he couldn't hear her question because it was drowned out by a loud scream coming from the kitchen.
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