Chapter 16:

"So… they are both cats?"

"For the most part, I guess you can say that." Naruto and the others had just spent the last hour trying to explain the concept to Lee. He understood the situation, but was still unclear about their condition. "Basically, they have the mentality of cats. They don't think they're cats, they just have cat instincts. I don't think that they're turning into cats physically, but it's too soon to tell for sure. It might just happen. They're getting much worse."

Lee nodded his head. "Oh. I think I get it now. So, you are here taking care of them?"

"Yup."

"But why? Are they incapable of taking care of themselves?"

"Apparently. I mean this morning Sasuke was trying to eat a live rat. I had to stop him because he couldn't stop himself. I guess that's why I'm here."

"I see…" Lee cast his gaze upon the two ninja cats. The excitement of the day had been too much for them, it seemed, for they had both collapsed on the floor by their feet for a nap. Sasuke and Neji were curled up together on the floor bathed in the sunshine streaming through the window behind them. Lee reached down and stroked Neji's head and watched him smile at the gentle touch. "So, they cannot help themselves at all?"

"Nope." Naruto watched as Sasuke stretched in his sleep before laying still once again.

Lee puffed out his chest and clenched his fist over his heart as if swearing an oath. "Very well, then I will help, too!"

"What are you saying?"

Tears started to roll down Lee's face, overcome with emotion. "I must do it! It is the right thing to do! It is my duty to help out a comrade in need, no matter the situation! It is what Gai-sensei would want! He has taught me well. I will aid you in this tragic situation! I will help out in any way I can!"

"Then help by keeping your voice down, would you?" Naruto hissed and pulled Lee down by the arm. "I can't have them wake up and start again. When they're awake, all I get are complaints. Besides, you woke Sasuke up before… If you wake him up again, he'll be grumpy as hell!"

"Oh, right! I am so sorry!"

Neji frowned in his sleep and moaned softly. "Hnuhnn..!"

"Shh! Lee, be quiet! You'll wake them up!"

"Sor-"

Naruto clasped a hand over his mouth. "Shh! Shut up!"

"Both of you shut up!" Sasuke rolled over, covering his ears with his hands. "You're too loud! How's anyone supposed to get any sleep around here?"

Naruto pointed at Lee. "It's his fault!"

"Mine?"

Neji rolled onto his back moaning and throwing an arm over his face. "Ohh...! What's all the racket? I'm trying to sleep here."

"Naruto was-"

"Lee was being an idiot and yelling!"

Neji slowly sat up with another groan. "Right now, you're the one yelling. Don't you have a softer volume you can talk in?"

"But I'm whispering!" he yelled.

Neji covered his ears. "God! First you give the secret away to Lee, now you're trying to make me deaf! I should just go back to my house and hide."

Sasuke's stomach started to growl. Without a word to anyone, he decided to help himself to Naruto's fridge. After looking inside and not finding any fish or fresh milk, he closed the door and gave Naruto a nudge. "Got anything good to eat around here? I'm starved."

"Help yourself."

Frowning, Sasuke gave him another hard nudge. "It's all crap in there. Find something good."

Naruto brushed his arm away. "Go away and leave me alone."

"That's my line. Come on, I'm starving."

"I'm sick of you ordering me around in my own house. I have food, you just won't eat it."

Neji's stomach growled, too.

Realizing that he couldn't refuse, Naruto got up and moved towards the door. It was better than having to deal with two grumpy and hungry ninja cats trapped in the same house as him. Besides, if they were full, they were more likely to go back to sleep. Only then were they quiet.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"Where do you think?" Naruto called over his shoulder. "Out to get food because you don't like anything I have."

"With good reason." Sasuke folded his arms. "I saw milk standing up in the fridge and it wasn't even in a carton."

"Not true!"

"Is so! I saw it myself!"

"Aw, stuff it!" Naruto picked up a cat toy and shoved it in Sasuke's mouth. "Now, I'll go out and get you some food, ok? Remember, I'm doing this for you. I don't have to."

Sasuke watched him leave for the door.

"And when I come back, I better not find my stuff with claw marks in it again like last time."

Sasuke glared at him, and folded his arms in a bitter motion. He still hadn't taken the toy out of his mouth, so the whole motion just made him look foolish.

Lee followed after Naruto. "I will accompany him to the store. Will you be ok here without me?"

"We're not babies, Lee," Neji informed him. "Just go. It'll give us some time to nap in peace. Right, Sasuke?"

"Mnff."

"You know…" Lee put a finger to his chin thoughtfully. "That is not a bad look for you, Sasuke."

He glanced down at the toy in his mouth and then back up at Lee with a growl. But Lee had already left.

The toy in his mouth chimed as he turned his head. The toy mouse in his mouth had a bell fixed to its tail and had a funny smell to it.

"Think we have enough?" Naruto asked.

Lee shifted the grocery bags in his arms. "I should think so. This should be plenty."

"Good." Naruto nearly dropped one of the bags in his arms. "Man! Wouldn't they get sick of fish after a while?"

"Not if you are a cat, I guess…"

They carried their bundles back to the apartment, Naruto complaining every step of the way. Once the door was unlocked and opened, they were in for a really weird greeting. Naruto had suspected the two to be sleeping by the time they got back; certainly not this.

"Hi, guys. We're back. And we brought home fish."

Sasuke ran to the door and threw his arms over Naruto's shoulders. "Yay! You're back! I missed you so much!"

Naruto dropped the bags on the floor with a thud and tried to pull Sasuke off of him. "What's gotten into you? Are you hungry or just happy to see me?"

"Both!" Sasuke tried to kiss him.

"Holy crap! NO!" Naruto forced him back. "What the hell, man?"

Sasuke giggled and took the whole thing like a game. He staggered to his feet and tried again. "I love you, Naruto!"

Naruto pulled out a kunai. "Stay the hell away from me!"

"Naruto, what is going on here?" Lee tried to steal a peek from over his back.

"He's gone nuts! He's trying to make-out with me or something! He's freaking me out!"

"But why is he...?"

"How the heck should I know? He's wigging out just like Neji did the other…" Naruto looked around. "By the way, where is he?"

Out of nowhere, Neji appeared and wrapped his arms around Lee's neck. "Welcome home, La-la-la Lee!"

He jumped aside. "What did you just call me?"

Neji giggled and rubbed his face against his. "I love you so much, Lee! You're my best friend in the whole world!"

Naruto lowered the knife in his hand. "What the...? This again? He's acting just like before. But so is Sasuke, now. What's going on here?"

Sasuke threw something through the air and it landed on the floor with a jingle. It was the toy mouse he had shoved into his mouth from before. Sasuke hurried over and pounced on the toy, rolling over it again and again.

"Sasuke what are you doing with that thing?"

Sasuke smiled and stopped rolling around long enough to try to kiss him again. "I love you!"

"Stop that!"

Neji turned his pink face over to him with a goofy smile. "Hi, banana-head. I love you!"

"Please stop saying that. I wish you would stop talking crazy."

Sasuke started to rub his face against Naruto's leg, purring. "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

"Shut up!"

Lee bent down and picked up the toy mouse. "What is this?"

"Oh, just some toy I got for them. No big deal." Naruto shoved Sasuke away again. "Damn it, Sasuke! Stop trying to kiss me!"

"I love you!"

"I don't care!"

Lee gave the mouse a shake and it jingled. Neji tried to bat at the bell tied to its tail, cheeks still pink and warm. Suspicious, Lee took a sniff. "Naruto, this has catnip in it!"

"What?"

"Catnip! You know, the stuff that attracts cats and makes them act loopy?"

Naruto looked from Sasuke to the toy. "You think that's what's making them act this way?"

"Positive!"

Neji purred and tried to kiss Lee's face. "Bushy-brow, I love you! I love you so much!"

"But that can't be right," Naruto said. "Back at the flower shop, Neji started to act this way before and the toy was nowhere around then."

Lee thought about it. "There must have been a plant of it nearby and he had gotten a whiff of it. Was he near a plant with blue or white leaves on it?"

Naruto tried to remember. "I think so… yeah, he was."

"That must have been it. He got a hold of some catnip plants."

"So that's what's making them act all loopy!"

Sasuke rolled onto his back and hugged Naruto's leg, purring like crazy. "I love you, Naru-Naru! Love, love, love you so!"

"Does it also make cats overly affectionate with anything that moves, 'cause I'm getting a lot of it right now from him?"

"Yes."

"Great." Naruto tried to shake his leg free. "Then I'm stuck with a lovey-dovey Uchiha for a while. Just how long is this supposed to last?"

Neji took his hands off Lee and started to nibble on the catnip-filled toy. Lee pulled it away, not wanting him to get any higher than he already was.

"I could not say. The best thing we can do right now is get all the catnip away from them and wait for it to wear off."

"Got it!"

It took them a while but, at last, they had rounded up both intoxicated ninja and locked up the catnip. Sasuke kept trying to hug Naruto and giggled giddily, but somehow Naruto managed to hold him back. Neji had been suspiciously quiet for the past couple of minutes, but that could have just been because he was coming down from the catnip. Either way, Naruto and Lee had their hands too full with Sasuke to care. Sasuke looped his arms around Lee's neck and snuggled into his chest, purring.

"Please stop that, Sasuke. You do not know what you are doing."

"I know that you are warm and nice." He pushed Lee away and went back to hugging Naruto. "But he's so much softer! I like banana-head better. Come here and give Sasuky-wasky a huggle-wuggle!"

"For the love of God, shut up! I can't that the cutesy talk anymore!" Naruto held Sasuke down with both hands while Lee sat on him. "Just snap out of it already! Man, it didn't take Neji this long to calm down…"

Lee looked around. "Hey… Where is Neji, anyway?"

Eyes wide, Naruto looked frantically around. "Damn it! He's gone!"

Lee jumped up. "We must find him at once!" He made a run for the door. This allowed Sasuke the opportunity to get up and jump on Naruto for the millionth time. He started to snuggle him again.

"Lee! You let him up! Sasuke, get off!"

"I am sorry, Naruto. But I must find Neji! That is top priority! He could get himself hurt in this state!"

"Good point. Besides, someone's bound to see him if he's outside. We'll have a lot of explaining to do if someone sees him acting all weird like that." Naruto pushed Sasuke onto the couch. "Let's go!"

"But what about him?" Lee pointed to Sasuke who kept pawing at Naruto's pant leg with a goofy smile.

"No problem." He whipped up a shadow clone. "He'll take care of it."

Naruto's clone looked at Sasuke with a groan. "Ohh...! Do I have to?"

"Yes!" barked the real one. "Good luck to you! Let's move, Lee!"

Outside, Neji was enjoying the warm air and smell of the leaves. Everything around him swirled around in a mixture of colors. He was in love with everything around him. He felt wonderful, like he was on some kind of drug. Nothing bothered him. He felt playful and frisky. He wandered into the grass and rolled around in it. It felt wonderful. He felt wonderful. Everything was wonderful. He purred and rolled over, rubbing his back on the warm fresh grass. Then he rolled over and over again like a log, staining his clean clothes with the green grass. But he didn't care. Still, nothing bothered him. He just wanted to enjoy himself.

He was having so much fun, he didn't notice that someone had gotten close to him.

"Neji?"

He looked up at his name. It was his team's only female. Tenten stood looking baffled. But Neji didn't care. He gave her an enthusiastic wave.

"Are you alright?" she asked, shying away. It was as if she were afraid of him attacking her or something. Neji didn't notice, but to her he must have looked pretty weird.

"Hi, Tenten!" He bounded on all fours over to her and rubbed his body against her legs. "I love you!"

Giving him a quizzical look, Tenten started to shy away even further. "What's going on with you? You're not yourself."

He purred noisily and chased after her. "I feel fine. It's all good." He hugged her legs tightly with his arms, still purring like a maniac.

Tenten struggled to keep her balance. "Neji, you're not yourself. You're acting really weird. What's going on? What's wrong with you? Are you sick or something?"

He gave her legs another squeeze. "Nope. Nothing's wrong. How can it be? How can anything be wrong? I love the grass, I love this day… I love you."

"Neji, I- Ahh!" She lost her balance as Neji continued to hug her legs, pinching them together. She fell to the grass. She tried to stand, but Neji was starting to crawl onto her lap, watching her with a mixture of curiosity and desire. "Neji, what are you doing?"

He sat on her legs, putting his hands on either side of her hips, straddling her. He stared at her, nose to nose and gave a loud purr.

"What? What is it? What are you doing?"

Neji rested his forehead on her chest. "You smell pretty."

"Uh… thanks, I guess…"

He moved a little closer and lifted his head to look at her. His face was still pink and warm, but his eyes had become droopy and very cloudy. "I feel kind of funny…"

"You feel sick?"

"No, not like that… I just feel a little… funny… I feel funny." He put a hand to his head. "How come I feel so warm?"

Suddenly, it all became clear to her. She patted Neji's head and tried to coax him off her body. "Come on, I'll take you home. You can rest there."

He lowered his hand and gave her a smile. "You look out for me a lot, don't you? Even when I don't see it…" He nuzzled her neck with his nose. "I love you, Tenten. I love you so much."

"Uh-huh. I'm sure you do. Now, come on. Let's take you home."

He hugged her around the middle. "I love you. Can I have a kiss?"

"Later."

"No, now. I want one now. Please?"

"I said later."

But Neji was already puckering his lips. "Kissy-kissy?"

"No, Neji. Not now and not here. I told you later, ok?"

He blinked a few times and gave her a frown. "But I wanted a little kiss… Don't you love me, too? I love you."

Tired of this, Tenten had an idea to take Neji's mind off this ridiculous conversation. "Neji, can you do something for me?"

"What?" He had that goofy smile on his face again.

"I need you to count backwards from 68 for me, ok?"

The goofy smile left his face. "Huh?"

"Count backwards from 68."

He cocked his head to the side, puzzled. "68? 6…8? 68..? 68…"

"Yes. Count backwards from that number starting now. Come on, you can do it."

Despite his confusion, Neji tried his best. "Uh… 68. Um, 68… 67… 66…"

"Good, good. Now keep that up for me, ok?"

"65… 64… 63…"

"Very good." She pulled Neji to his feet. "Now stand up, but keep counting."

Still confused, Neji continued to count, never bothering to ask her why she wanted him to do this. She forced him to walk around, with her leading him every step of the way. He didn't question that either. He just kept counting. "62… 61… 60… 59… 58… 57… 56… 55… 54… 53… 52… 51…" He stopped short with a puzzled expression. "51. 51… 51… Uh… 51… 5… Where the hell am I?"

Smiling, Tenten stopped making him march around. "Feeling more like yourself again? How are you doing?"

Neji gave his head a wild shake, rubbing his temples. "I… I don't know what's going on… How'd I get out here? And when did you...?" He looked at Tenten and his eyes started to sparkle again. "God, I love you." Just as quickly, he blinked and gave another shake of his head. "No! I don't mean that! Why did I say that? Tenten, don't get the wrong idea. I don't feel quite like myself right now."

"It's ok. I understand." She smiled.

"You do?" He inched away, warily.

"Yup. Just a few mood swings. That's all." She pulled her hand up and started to scratch his ear. He purred and told her that he loved her all over again. "That's the kind of thing you expect with catnip."

Hearing the word, Neji pulled away from her. "Wait, what did you just say?"

"Catnip. You've been in it, haven't you?" Her smile widened. "That's why you've been acting so strangely. It's strong stuff. You'll love anything. Don't worry. I won't take it personally."

His jaw moved up and down, but he couldn't make a sound.

"I already know the truth, Neji. I figured it out. I have to admit, though, I didn't believe it at first. It was so farfetched. But after seeing this, there's no doubt in my mind. You're part cat."

He gave a squeak in his throat.

"Don't worry. I haven't old anyone. I wasn't sure at the time."

"T- Tenten… Tenten, I-"

"There he is!"

Neji yelped as he was suddenly tackled to the ground by both Naruto and Lee. They pinned him down and sat on him while he wriggled and squirmed around.

"Do not mind us, Tenten," Lee grunted out. "We will handle this."

"He didn't do anything to you, did he?" Naruto asked.

"Well, he did purr and rub against me a little bit."

With a quick glance at each other, Naruto and Lee began shouting off lies to fool her.

"It's ok!" Neji called out from under them. "She knows!"

"Oh." Naruto got off him. "Why didn't you just say so?"

"Because you were too busy plowing me into the ground, that's why!"

Tenten cleared her throat. "Ahem. Uh, anyone mind explaining this all to me?"

Now Tenten knows. LOL Neji's so much more fun on catnip, isn't he?

Please review! ^-^