He'd been in the Chantry for nearly two months when Eamon came. A sister came to his classroom one morning and spoke with the teacher - sister Adela, Alistair realised, one of the first sisters he'd met.

The teacher was Brother Bertrand. Bertrand seemed to take delight in tormenting Alistair during lessons - every particularly hard question was directed at him and even slightly inaccurate answers were punished with a swipe of his thin cane across the fingers. Alistair had taken to sitting in his chair with his hands clamped under his thighs, for fear that the Brother would take casual swipes at him as he walked past.

He wondered what was going on this time. When Sister Adela beckoned to him Alistair looked at Bertrand in query.

"Go on, boy!" he said. "The revered mother wants to see you. Don't keep her waiting!"

He clambered to his feet and followed Adela, his stomach churning. Had he done something wrong? Was he going to be thrown out?

In the corridor Adela smiled at him. He was taken aback, too shocked by this kindness to smile back. "Am I in trouble?" he said in a small voice.

She laughed. It was a lovely sound. He hadn't really heard much laughter, apart from the snickering of the older boys when they teased him, or the nasty, snorting gurgle Brother Bertrand gave whenever he found something wrong about a boy that he could punish.

She was actually very pretty, for a sister. Dark hair pulled back in the severe bun and twinkling grey eyes. "Not at all, Alistair," she remembered his name!

"Then why does the revered mother want to see me?" he was bewildered.

"Your uncle is here to see you," she replied. "Isn't that lovely?"

Alistair stopped dead. "My uncle?"

"Well, I suppose he's not your uncle, is he? The Arl of Redcliffe?"

Alistair's breath started to heave in and out of his chest. "I don't want to see him," he said softly, trying very hard not to shout.

"What?" Adela looked shocked and a little frightened.

"I said I don't want to see him. I won't see him!"

And he ran.

Instinct guided his feet towards the stables - always his refuge at Redcliffe. It was a familiar place - all stables were. There were only two horses housed there - big work horses to pull the ploughs in the fields. They were gentle beasts who didn't mind his presence.

He found a corner and sat in the hay, wrapping his arms around his knees and rocking back and forth. He would not see Eamon.

Before Isolde had come his life at Redcliffe had been different. Not exactly easy - but different. He'd slept in the castle, for one. In a cot in the servants quarters, true, but in the castle nonetheless. Eamon had spent a small part of each day with him - playing or talking or reading to him. He'd had a few toys of his own - he remembered one - a small figurine of a golem - that Eamon had given him one birthday that he especially loved.

But then Eamon had married that... woman. Alistair had known Isolde before she became the Arlessa, and he'd always admired her from a distance - she was very beautiful, and he loved the sound of her voice when she spoke. But when she and Eamon married...

She had no time for the five year old boy who may have been Eamon's bastard. Eamon spent a lot of time away from the castle and when he was gone, she did everything in her power to make sure that Alistair came nowhere near her.

He had no doubt that Isolde was the reason he was in the Chantry in the first place. But he couldn't help but be angry with Eamon as well. Weren't wives supposed to obey their husbands? Surely, if Eamon had cared about him at all, he would have stopped Isolde from being so horrible to him.

So he would not go and see the Arl of Redcliffe, even though he'd gone to the trouble to come and visit him. He would sit in the stables until someone came to find him. If someone came to find him. He would go back to his class and be caned for disobedience and the Arl could go back to his nasty wife and live happily ever after.

He'd been in the stables for an hour when he heard someone coming. He debated whether to hide, but thought the better of it. Let them find him. He wasn't afraid of being punished. Not much, anyway.

It was Sister Adela. She saw him immediately. "Alistair?" she said. "The Arl said you'd probably be here."

"Did he?" Alistair said bitterly. "Well, he would know."

"Why won't you see him?"

He scowled at her. She came closer to him and sat on an old saddle near his pile of straw. Most sisters would have frowned at the muck and dust, but she didn't seem to mind.

He decided he liked her. But he wasn't going to answer her question. He put his chin on his knees and shook his head.

"He's come a long way," she said.

Alistair snorted. "It's an hour in a boat," he said.

"Is that why you won't see him? Because he could have come so easily before?"

He shook his head.

Adela sighed. "I think I understand," she said. "Do you know how old I was when I came here?"

"No," he said.

"I was ten," she said.

"I'm ten!"

She smiled at him. "I know," she said. "I know you didn't want to leave your home, because neither did I. But in the end I know it was for the best."

"The best for you," he said.

She cocked her head. "Perhaps. But I also know that part of me chose to make it better. You've got a choice, Alistair. You can hate every second of this life and be miserable, or you can find things to enjoy about it, and be happy. Or at least," she gave a wry smile. "At least be happier than you are right now."

He looked up at her. "I don't want to see the Arl," he said, softly. "Can that be my choice?"

Adela looked at him searchingly, her grey eyes boring into his as though she could read his soul. "If that's what you truly want, I don't think the revered mother will force you to see him."

He nodded firmly. "Good," he said, getting to his feet.

"Alistair," Adela said, putting her hand on his arm. "I want you to promise me something."

"All right," he said.

She smiled. "It's a good idea to ask someone what before you agree to promising something," she said.

He smiled a little. "All right, what?"

"Try to be happy? Even if it's hard? You don't deserve to be sad."

His heart suddenly felt too big for his chest and he was embarrassed to feel his eyes filling. He swallowed and nodded. "I promise," he said.

For you, he thought.