Chapter 18:

"Please don't tell me I acted like that," Sasuke moaned, walking in on Neji cuddling with Tenten on the couch. He was purring and rubbing his body against hers. "That's so wrong and twisted and embarrassing."

Tenten stroked Neji's back. "He's much calmer than he was before. You should have seen him then."

"Oh, God...!"

Neji kept his eyes closed, purring in her lap. He loved being pet. It felt so good.

Sensing that something was amiss, Sasuke turned and looked up. Naruto was staring at him with a wide smile. "What?"

"Nothing…" he smirked.

"What?!"

"Nothing…"

"Shut up!" He was like a teasing older brother trying to get a rise out of him.

"Oh, wow!" Tenten put a hand to her mouth. "How'd you get that on your face?"

Sasuke poked his swollen jaw. "Oh. Sakura punched me."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. There was nothing believable about the phrase 'Sakura punched Sasuke in the face'. It couldn't be true. Why would she punch the one person she loved like nothing else?

"She thought I was Naruto," he explained.

"Oh. Now I understand." She went back to petting Neji. "Is that why Naruto's giving you that look?"

"Who knows?" Sasuke looked back at him. He was still grinning at him. "What the hell do you want?!"

"Nothing!" he giggled.

"You just want to tease me, don't you?"

"Maybe…"

Sasuke turned away before he could get the chance to strangle him. The moment his back was turned, Naruto jumped on him, hugging him from behind. "What the HELL are you DOING?!"

Naruto laughed in his ear. "I'm hugging you, stupid."

"WHY?!"

"Because I know it annoys you." It wasn't really a hug, more of a very tight squeeze. He had Sasuke in a vice grip. It wasn't very pleasant at all.

"Get off!"

"No!" Naruto held him tighter. "I want to hear you beg."

"What's gotten into you?!"

This was fun. He loved teasing Sasuke. And if he played his cards right, he might even get to hear him beg. He just wanted to have fun. He had already witnessed him get clocked by Sakura. Doing this was his way of rubbing salt in the wound.

"Get off!"

"Make me!"

"Get OFF! NOW!"

"No way!"

"I mean it!"

"Beg me to…" Naruto wrinkled his nose in disgust and jumped off his back. "Oh, my God! You stink!"

Sasuke's face turned red. "I do not!"

"Yes, you do!" Naruto pinched his nose cutting off the stench. "Did something crawl on you and die? When was the last time you had a bath?!"

Sasuke didn't answer. He just lowered his head trying to hide his red face. It was so embarrassing for him to call attention to it. Who wouldn't if you were told that you smelled in such a loud voice?

"Well? I asked you something."

Sasuke muttered his answer.

"What was that?"

Giving Naruto possibly the worst glare he could muster, Sasuke said a little louder, "Not since I've been turned into a cat."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "WHAT?! You haven't taken a bath since you drank the potion?!"

Face burning red Sasuke snapped back, "Well, not exactly! I showered fine that night, but the next day I just couldn't do it… What do you expect?! I'm a cat now! I hate water! I couldn't stand it! So, I…" He mumbled the next words to the ground. "So, I've… been licking myself clean… But only where I can reach!"

"That's disgusting!" Naruto gagged.

"Shut up!"

Neji sat up rubbing his face on Tenten's shoulder. His face was still slightly pink from the catnip's effect. This coupled with the fact that he was still highly affectionate indicated that he hadn't come out of it yet. But Tenten didn't care. As long as he was being cute and happy, she couldn't care less when he snapped out of it. He curled up on her lap once again and closed his eyes with a purr. He was ready for a nap.

"Hey, guys," she called to the others. "Could you keep it down? Neji's trying to sleep."

"Again?"

"Again."

Sasuke took this chance to sneak away from the group and onto the porch out back. He turned his head up to the sky, warming his face. He had had enough of Naruto's teasing and criticisms. It was embarrassing to call attention to someone's smell, and Naruto knew that. Nevertheless, he had shouted it out loud in front of Tenten and Neji. He was embarrassed about it himself and really wanted to take a shower, but every time he got near the water, he would chicken out. Every time he saw water, he turned tail and ran. He just couldn't face it. To cover up the smell of his lack of bathing, Sasuke had tried covering himself in deodorant, body spray and even Naruto's cheap cologne which he had been saving for a date with Sakura. Seeing as how that wasn't happening any time soon, Sasuke decided to take it for himself. It did the trick for a little while at least. But all the cologne in the world couldn't hide his greasy hair. He needed a bath, no doubt about it.

"This cat thing is getting out of hand," he muttered to himself. "I can't even take a shower anymore. How can anyone be afraid of water? It's so pathetic!"

He sat on the ground with a sigh. Maybe he'd feel better after a little rest. He turned his attention to the street below and watched traffic.

"So, you're clear on the plan, right?"

"I believe so…" Lee looked down at the rope in his hand, having just returned from his 20 mile jog. "But do we really have to capture him? It just seems so… unnecessary and underhanded."

"Hey, he won't take a bath on his own so it's up to us." Naruto finished setting up the trap in his tiny living room. "He stinks! I won't have it! If he's staying with me or even hanging around me, he has to bathe. Just because he eats fish all the time, doesn't mean that he has to smell like one."

"Ok, if you are certain," Lee gave him a nod. "For Sasuke, I will do it! I will help out my rival in his time of need!" Tears started to flow from his eyes.

"I thought Neji was your rival," Naruto wondered.

"Oh, he is. Sasuke is my second. I want to fight him, too. But he is a mere warm-up compared to Neji. He is my true rival. Sasuke takes second place to him."

"And me?" Naruto couldn't help feeling a little left out. He wanted to be someone's rival, too. He wanted to be that person other one envied and sought to one day defeat; someone's inspiration and reason to continue and get better. That was a wonderful feeling.

"You are my good friend, Naruto. No doubt about that at all."

His heart sank. "So… I don't even take third place...?"

Lee thought about it. "Hmm… I suppose you could." He snapped his fingers. "Since we are both competing for Sakura's affection, that makes us love rivals!"

"I'll take it!"

"Very well! We are rivals of love!"

"Ok, when you say it like that, it gets a little creepy."

They heard the door open and quickly hid around the corner. Sasuke came in stretching his arms over his head. By the looks of it, he was ready for another catnap. Sasuke ruffled his hair and crossed to the other side of the room.

Halfway to the other room, Sasuke looked down and spotted a rope stretching from one side of the room to the other. It was pulled tight, hovering six inches off the ground. Set just a few inches behind the rope, poorly hidden under a thin pile of leaves was a net.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. It was such a pitiful attempt to capture him. Surely Naruto can do better than this. I mean, really… Leaves? Unless a window was left open in the middle of the forest on a windy day, I highly doubt that there would be this many leaves indoors. Besides, why would they all be clustered in the middle of the floor like this? That guy's a real idiot. "Nice try, loser. Just how dumb do you think I am?" Sasuke stepped over the rope, avoiding the trap.

Or so he thought. Once past the rope, the leaves concealing the net leapt into the air and transformed into ten Naruto clones. With no time to react, Sasuke was tackled to the ground by the clones of the very person he was just calling an idiot. They wrapped him up in the net and sat on him while Sasuke thrashed about and shouted for them to get off.

The real Naruto and Lee came out of hiding and grabbed the net. Together, they dragged Sasuke into the bathroom and locked the door. The tiny bathroom was far too small to accommodate all 13 of them, so some clones had to go. Naruto and four of his clones along with Lee held Sasuke down and striped off his clothes. Then they carried him over to the tub. Sasuke kicked and screamed, more concerned about the water than how wrong the situation must have looked. They tossed him in, sending a tidal wave of soapy bath water over the edge, soaking them clothes and all.

Naruto grabbed a washcloth and handed Lee a bar of soap. "Get him!"

"Right!"

When Sasuke resurfaced, all he could do was scream and try to jump out of the tub. Naruto and Lee held him back and started to scrub him clean. He clawed at them and yowled like a drenched cat.

"Let me out! Let me out! It's wet!"

"That's the point, now hold still!" Naruto lathered Sasuke's hair with shampoo and dug his fingers into his scalp, not caring whether he hurt him or not. "We have to get you clean! You stink!"

"I'm fine! I'm fine, really! Let me go! Please!" He was shrieking and flailing about. He made it sound like he was being murdered or something. They weren't killing him, just washing him. He made it out to be much worse than it really was. Naruto wondered if all cats reacted this way to water.

When it was finally over, Lee unlocked the door and narrowly avoided being trampled by a very distraught Sasuke. He bolted out the door and ran around the apartment like a chicken with its head cut off. He rubbed his body against the floor and shook his head causing his wet hair to slap against his face and neck. Then he ran out onto the deck outside and started to furiously lick his arms 'clean'.

Naruto came out panting and soaking wet. "You'd think we were killing him or something. What a baby."

Lee looked into the next room. "Do you think that we should wash Neji as well?"

Naruto looked up from wringing out his jacket. "He probably needs it."

Neji had just woken up from his little catnap on Tenten, feeling a little disoriented. He had slept off the catnip, but was still very groggy. He rolled off the couch and went to get a drink. He was so out of it, he didn't notice the net beneath his feet. He rubbed his eyes and gave his head a little shake, trying to clear his foggy head and wake up more fully. When he opened his eyes again, he spotted a cat toy dangling from in front of his face. Curious, he gave it a swat. It swayed back and forth. He playfully batted at it with his hand, unaware of the two sneaking up behind him. Before he could sense them, they grabbed the net and swept Neji off his feet. They carried their victim to the bathroom and locked the door.

All Tenten could hear was him screaming, water splashing and Naruto cursing. She wanted to stick around to see if they needed her help, or if Neji needed saving; but she decided to take her leave instead. She got up from the couch and went to the front door.

I'll be back, of course. I just want to pick them up something nice. She smirked to herself and left.

Disgusting! I hate water! It's so wet and unpleasant! Neji fumed while licking the back of his hand. He was still drying off and was trying to groom his hair back into place. He was still ranting about how Naruto and Lee attacked him like that. He didn't smell that bad. He never let people get close enough to smell him anyway. He didn't need a bath. He needed a cure!

Seeing as how Tenten had already left while he was being tortured in the tub and not wanting to hear from either Naruto or Lee, Neji decided to go for a little walk by himself. It was nice to get out of the house once in a while, but he was careful not to go anywhere there might be dogs hanging around. He also had to steer clear of his own clan for obvious reasons. He didn't want to act like a fool in their presence. He wasn't of the main branch so there wasn't much of a chance of him being forgiven for acting in such a way. If any of them saw him acting like a cat, they'd be asking a lot of questions that he didn't want to answer. Even if he did answer them truthfully, he'd risk being criticized for being careless and stupid enough to get stuck in such a humiliating situation. And if they didn't view his actions as being that of a cat, he would be accused of being a lunatic. It wasn't easy being a Hyuga. It was always about image and honor. Neji had no room for mistakes.

It wasn't all bad, though. Some good came out of him being a cat. True, he was a lot lazier than he ever was, but he felt less stressed out. It was like being on a nice relaxing vacation. He had caught up on a lot of sleep he had been needing and for the first time ever, he could eat as much as he wanted and accept the food coma that came after with no worry about being scolded for it. He always ate just until he was satisfied, never full. Having a full stomach would weigh him down and he'd be too slow to react if he was ever attacked. Now he could stuff his face full and not care about that. He felt much calmer as a cat, despite having to worry about people finding out about his situation and the belief that it made him less of a man. All that aside, it wasn't so bad. The best part may have been the catnip that took him on one heck of a trip. It had never affected him before, but now that he was part cat it did. It made him feel wonderful. It was embarrassing when he came out of it, but while he was under its influence, he felt great. It was such a stress relief, getting him all drugged up. It was so nice to let go of everything that held you down and get filled up with everything that had you so happy that you felt like flying.

Maybe this whole cat thing wasn't so bad after all.

At that moment, Neji was pulled from his thoughts by the person standing behind him. He stopped in his tracks, hearing someone whisper to him. He looked around at the single word they uttered.

"Catfist."

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