Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: This story is rated M for "Maybe Edward will get down to some sexy times, maybe not. But OBVIOUSLY Bella is, so if you're not over 18, please don't read." Yes, it's long. That's what she said.

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Chapter 6: Lover and Fool

With Rosalie's jibe still ringing in his head, Edward went to seek out the one person who could help him: his father. Carlisle had always been assiduous in not mentioning or even thinking about Edward's maker and that dark time in Edward's life before he had found his son. But he did know the story; it was one of the first things Edward had confessed that night Carlisle had brought him home.

Carlisle had shared his own story first, of how he had been attacked in London in the 17th century, how he had fought his nature so completely, refusing to be a monster. His tale gained him Edward's respect immediately.

Carlisle had also told Edward of his travels, how, after he learned to survive on the blood of animals, it had freed him to return to the world, to walk among humans and eventually find others of their kind. He had even spent time with the all-powerful Volturi, the only coven interested in and capable of enforcing the secrecy their existence required. He explained it was the Volturi who had sent Jane and Felix to check up on Edward, who had been noticed due to his feeding habits. Notice was not something a vampire generally wanted from them, Carlilse had added with a wry smile.

While he still wasn't interested in their notice, Edward was now curious about the breadth of their knowledge, specifically about the other vampires who roamed their world. He hoped that, if anyone would know of his maker, it would be them. And he knew Carlisle would be able to tell him if his hope was justified.

Edward could hear that his mother had already moved up to the attic she was in the process of restoring. He knocked briefly on the door to his father's study before entering. Carlisle was there, as always, at his desk reading reports.

What can I do for you, Edward? He looked up warmly, smiling at his son. Edward was again struck at how lucky he had been the night Carlisle found him. He might have been destroyed that night or taken back to Italy, using his talents for the Volturi but still feeding off of humans and living through the deaths of others. But instead he had been granted the chance at a different life, a better one at the side of a man he both loved and respected.

"I want to try to find Isabella."

Those few words shook Carlisle. His eyes widened. Immediately he thought, Are you sure? She's always been a source of pain for you.

Up in the attic, Esme had put down her sledgehammer and was listening intently. Her thoughts were also filed with apprehension over the topic that brought her son so much pain. Oh, Edward, still her after all these years?

"I know," Edward sighed. "But …I don't know. Maybe Rosalie is right. Maybe I won't ever get over Isabella unless I get some closure."

Esme appeared in the study and placed her hand on her son's cheek. "Edward, you know we want you to be happy, but have you thought this through?" What if she doesn't want him? Can he handle that level of rejection not once but twice? Esme's thoughts were so full of anxiety Edward almost wavered. But, in the end, he knew he needed to know. His entire existence was being consumed by the gnawing fear that everything Isabella had said to him had been a lie. He was tired of being ruled by fear. If she had lied, he would deal with it, but his time of living in ignorance was at an end. He would no longer be enslaved by what ifs.

"Esme," he said, gently laying his hand on top of hers, "I need this." His golden eyes were filled with the conviction of his words.

His mother smiled sadly but nodded sharply and squeezed his hand before going to sit on the arm of her husband's chair. "Of course, darling, if this is what you need. How can we help?" Carlisle pulled her hand into his own, his pride in her more prevalent than ever.

"Well, son, how did you want to proceed?" Though Carlisle's thoughts were colored with concern for his son, his immediate reaction was the desire to help. Swirling around in the back of his father's mind, Edward could sense Carlisle shared Esme's fear that, no matter what Edward found, this would end badly. But, to his parents' credit, they didn't dwell on their anxiety; they simply tried to attack the problem, to help Edward in any way that they could.

"I thought I would start discreetly …with Eleazar," Edward said.

~*~

Edward opted for speed over inconspicuousness and drove the Vanquish to Denali, making the over 3500 mile trip in less than a day. He called Tanya on his way to ask her if she would mind an impromptu visit from him, and she had been more than happy to hear the news. He had, of course, noted the time when he ended the call on his cell phone: 2:14 am. God damn it! He cursed. The daily reminder made Edward more determined than ever to get to the bottom of why Isabella had left him.

As he drove up the backwoods road to her home, he hoped Tanya's enthusiasm would remain of the friendly variety. He knew she found him attractive but, even though she was as stunning as any of their kind could be, Edward had never thought of the strawberry blonde beauty in that way. Tanya had always felt like a cousin to him. As he saw her waiting for him in front of the house, on the wide flagstone patio that stretched from the entryway to the driveway, he could only hope the feeling was now mutual.

"Edward, it's such a pleasure to see you again." She pulled him close and kissed first his left cheek then the right. She inhaled his scent, and Edward tried not to hear her thoughts as she involuntarily wondered how he would be in bed.

Good Lord, I bet he's got a lot of pent up sexual frustration. Rosalie said he hasn't slept with anyone in the seventy-some years she's been with the Cullens. That's just far too long to go without sex. Oh, how I wish he would just let me kiss him, just once…

Her thoughts were becoming more and more graphic, and Edward realized any hopes he had for a platonic relationship with Tanya would be up to him to rigidly maintain. Disentangling himself politely, he smiled at her.

"The pleasure is mine, Tanya. Thank you for letting me drop by." He motioned toward the house with his head and asked, "Is Eleazar home?"

Tanya laughed, amused by his courteous behavior in the face of her clearly lustful thoughts. With a silent apology for letting herself get out of control, she grabbed his hand lightly and pulled him toward the log cabin style mansion.

"You didn't say earlier," she mentioned as they walked through the spacious main living area of the house, "why did you want to speak specifically to Eleazar?" She was trying to focus on Edward's reason for being there in an attempt to keep her thoughts well-mannered.

"I'm hoping his time with the Volturi can help me locate someone," he replied vaguely. The Denali clan wasn't aware of his past; although they knew Carlisle wasn't Edward's maker, they didn't know who was. It wasn't uncommon for vampires not to talk about such personal information, but the covens were like family. Edward felt like he had done them a disservice by never sharing that part of his life with them.

Tanya's golden eyes were assessing as she looked into Edward's. He could hear the curiosity in her mind, but she kept it to herself with a small, wry smile. As they exited the house via the back patio, Edward could see the man he was looking for a few yards away, holding pruning tools for his mate, Carmen, as she meticulously sculpted a large topiary bush into an elaborate dragon. Setting the various trimmers on the ground, he walked forward to clasp Edward's hand and pull him into an informal embrace.

"Edward! What a pleasant surprise." His smile was as open as his thoughts. "Tanya said you wanted to speak to me. What can I do for you, my friend?" Edward had decided on his drive through Canada there would be no point in hiding his agenda from the rest of the Denali clan, so he decided to dive right in.

"I've decided to find my sire, and I need your help." His blunt statement surprised the three vampires before him, but they recovered gracefully.

"Okay," Eleazar began in a more business like tone. "I'm not familiar with that part of your life, Edward. Why don't we go inside? You can fill us in on what you know about your creator, and I'll do what I can."

"We all will," Carmen added warmly, taking her mate's hand and smiling encouragingly at Edward. Tanya led the group back to the house, sitting down on the semi-circle of leather couches that formed the family's informal meeting space.

Edward filled them in on the abbreviated version of his creation, noting the only things he knew about his sire were that she had gone by the name Isabella Swan when she had lived in Chicago at the beginning of the previous century, she was petite with long dark hair and pale porcelain skin, and, when he had awoken ninety-one years ago, he had not been able to find a trace of her.

"I'm not familiar with a vampire of that name, but clearly that doesn't mean much," Eleazar began after Edward had finished with his tale. "If she's remained a nomad," he shrugged a little to indicate how easy it was for one of their kind to remain anonymous if that was their intent.

"I don't know," Edward argued back, "she just didn't seem like she was passing through when we met. I mean, she was in Chicago long enough for us to court." Edward cringed at having to divulge this part of their relationship, especially when the mental gasps popped into the three minds around him. "I just didn't get the impression that she was passing through."

"Well, that's something then," Eleazar responded, as he was trying to figure out what would be the best approach for Edward to find his sire. Suddenly he snapped his fingers, and Edward smiled at the idea that popped into his friend's mind. "Of course, if you want the best chance of finding someone who may have met her, you should go to Volterra. If you ask around about her, you'll know right away if anyone knows anything."

Carmen's alarmed eyes flashed to Eleazar's before turning to Edward. "If you're going to do that, you'll need to be very sure you follow proper etiquette," she warned.

"Oh, yes," Eleazar agreed quickly. "Since you've never been there before, you'll want to go directly to the Volturi and request an audience with Aro." Edward knew, of course, that Aro was the head of the Volturi and was a vampire that demanded a fair level of respect, but he was astonished by the fearful tone to his friends' words and thoughts.

Carmen, in particular, was reminded of a cocky, young vampire who had entered the city without performing the courtesy of requesting an audience with its ruler. The Frenchman had burned swiftly. She shuddered delicately.

"You'll want to go with a letter of introduction as well," she added quietly. "It wouldn't do to show up and not call on them, but they also don't care for vampires waltzing into their castle and asking to speak to Aro as if he were just another person. You'll need to make sure you show respect at every turn."

Edward nodded and thanked them for their help before rising and heading toward the door. Tanya followed him swiftly.

"Won't you stay for just a few days?" she asked, wincing internally as the words came out. She hated how obvious her desire for him to spend at least one night was, even to herself. How many times am I going to throw myself at him and be rejected before I just move on? she wondered despondently.

"Tanya," he said, taking her hand in his, "if I had a heart in me that could feel the same way for you, don't you know that I would already be your willing slave?" Edward searched her eyes and allowed her to see the truth of the statement in his own. "You of all women can't help but know the power of your beauty," he continued, referring to her endless array of conquests in order to soften the blow of his lack of interest. "But I don't. I'm sorry." She gave his hand a brief squeeze before letting him go.

"Go find your heart, Edward," she said quietly as he walked to his car. And if she doesn't want you, please remember that I do, she added silently.

~*~

The trip to Italy was quickly arranged. Edward drove back to Chicago in order to leave his car at home and check in with his parents. Carlisle wrote him a letter of formal introduction, agreeing the obsequious gesture would please Aro and smooth Edward's way. Esme made him promise he would be polite and, above all else, he would come home.

As Edward entered the city well after dark two days later, he quickly found a garage for his rental car, a gloriously fast silver Ferrari, and made his way by foot to the building that housed the corporation the Volturi used as a front. Upon entering through the glass doors that led to the spacious, modern reception area, he saw a lone female at the desk, despite the late hour. She looked up, smiled welcomingly, and politely asked him how she could help him. Her thoughts immediately registered that his good looks marked him as a vampire, but she was slightly confused by his eyes, briefly wondering if he wore contacts. Her face didn't betray her, though, as she asked him to have a seat and proceeded to make a call to some back office.

He looked about the room, noticing the many priceless works of art that adorned the dark sienna colored walls. Less than five minutes later, a slim vampire with jet black hair and ruby red eyes entered the room and made his way directly to Edward. The receptionist referred to him as Afton in her thoughts, and she stared at him longingly, wishing for the third time in the short time Edward had been waiting that the Volturi would make her one of them.

"You have requested an audience with Aro," he stated without preamble. "Who are you?" From what he had gleaned about the Volturi from Eleazar's and Carlisle's memories, Edward had been prepared to be treated with indifference at best and outright hostility at worst. He looked up at the vampire before him, who, noting the golden shade of Edward's eyes, immediately connected him to Carlisle. Though the expression on his face didn't waver, the vampire mentally recoiled from being so close to a practitioner of Carlisle Cullen's aberrant lifestyle.

"Thank you for seeing me. My name is Edward Cullen. I have a letter of introduction from my father, Carlisle," he responded politely. He listened as Afton savored his words in his head before deciding that they rang true. What an interesting talent, Edward thought, he can taste the truth of my words.

Afton held out his hand for the letter, and Edward pursed his lips. "I don't mean any offense, but my letter is for Aro alone," he said firmly. He could hear the vampire's annoyance in his head, but he didn't let it color his expression. He knew he wouldn't be able to be so firm with Aro or his inner circle, but Afton was clearly an underling. Edward had no intention of being bossed around by Aro's secretary.

The lanky vampire nodded his head sharply. Edward knew Afton had been instructed to bring Edward in regardless of what happened, but he had also been charged with observing as much as possible first.

"Why are you here?" he curtly inquired. Afton's handsome face never changed from its impassive mien. Edward wondered briefly how much information Afton would require before allowing him in and decided to divulge as much as possible up front. He knew from Carmen and Eleazar, as well as Carlisle, that Aro would never let him out of his sight without touching him and reading all of his thoughts. He might as well end this screening charade as quickly as he could.

"I was hoping your master would allow me to ask some questions about a vampire I'm looking for. Her name is Isabella, or at least it was when I came across her in Chicago in 1918." Edward listened, but the name didn't register in Afton's mind. He simply assessed Edward's words as true and decided he had learned more than enough to bring Edward back to Aro.

"Come this way," he murmured before turning swiftly and leading Edward through a large oak door. They walked through a series of corridors, at first decorated in the same décor as the entryway but changing to grey stone as they entered the older part of the castle.

Edward could hear a few errant thoughts coming from the vampires in rooms they passed along the way, but no one was thinking of him or Isabella so he ignored them. Afton stopped thinking of Edward the moment he determined he had gathered enough information for his master. Instead, his thoughts swirled around his mate, Chelsea, who always worried when strangers came to meet with Aro. When Afton left the throne room, he sent a reassuring glance her way, but he was anxious to get back and stand behind her, silently offering her his support.

The connection between Afton and his mate pricked at Edward's latent jealousy. The same old ichor leaked from the wounds on his heart. Would he never have a mate of his own? Would he never know the simple pleasure of having a woman he could put first in everything? A woman who would do the same for him?

He had once thought he would have that with Isabella, but no. She had taken that from him when she took his humanity, rejecting him as a lover, leaving him as a fool. Afton's bond with Chelsea reminded Edward of all he didn't have and how much he still wanted. He didn't know if he would find the beautiful woman he had loved so long ago, but he was tired of waiting to find out. He realized now that until he exorcised her ghost from his heart, he would never be free to offer it to another. He followed Afton into the throne room to meet Aro and take control of his life.