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A/N: This story is rated M for "Mangos are tasty, and so are lemons...if you're 18 or older. Otherwise, you need to go read something T rated."

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Chapter 9: I Watched You Suffer

Sitting in facing dining chairs, Bella and Emmett were silent. Bella waited patiently for Emmett to speak, but, after an hour, it was obvious he would neither speak nor look at her. Not knowing where else to start, she started at her beginning.

"I was born in Georgia in 1797. My father was the county judge, and my mother was a whore who abandoned us when I was twelve years old. My father's name was Charles, and he loved me very much. When he remarried, it caused quite a scandal because his wife was half Cherokee, and we were immediately shunned. Still, my new mother was a lovely woman, and her children with my father were beautiful as well."

Bella tried her best to forget her family, the four people who had loved her most in the world and had suffered because of her. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and remain focused. "In 1818, when I turned 21, I should have been married to some local boy looking to start a family. Because of my father's marriage, however, no one wanted me. I spent a great deal of time alone, reading the books my father would acquire for us. I often sat alone in a meadow in the woods near our home, reading and wondering if I would ever have a life of my own.

"One day, I was approached by a man in my meadow. He was handsome and attentive, but he made me uneasy. When I tried to return to my father's house, the man grabbed me. He tore at my clothes, exposing my neck and shoulders. I tried to fight, but he was so strong." Her words trailed off, and, for a moment, she was silent. She tried to ignore the horrified look Emmett had on his face as he finally stared her way. "I thought he was going to rape me. Instead, I felt his teeth tear into my neck and his mouth drink the blood from my veins."

Emmett, who had sat so still for so long, stood, walking slowly toward her. When he reached her, he sat on the floor next to her, wrapping his arms protectively around her legs. After everything he'd seen, he still wanted to guard her, even from the pain of her past. She lovingly stroked his head.

Please little boy, don't make me kill you.

Bella took a deep breath and continued. "The pain of the transformation was excruciating. My flesh burned white hot, and if I could have moved, I would have ripped it from my bones. I couldn't scream. I could only lie there and pray for death. Little did I know that I was already dying. The pain lasted three days, and when it ended, I was mad from thirst. The man took me to a woman he had hidden in the woods, and I killed her. I was wild, and I ripped her apart as I drank her. When it was over, I was horrified, but the man was very pleased.

"The man, Adam was his name, took me to a mountain where he had amassed an army of newborn vampires. Newborn vampires are known for their extraordinary strength, and he and his coven were creating hundreds of new vampires in order to fight a war with a coven in South Carolina. As he evaluated his army, Adam discovered my gift." Emmett looked at her, confused, and she leaned over and kissed the crown of his head. "I am able to shield myself from harm, mental and physical. I became Adam's favorite, and he trained me to extend my shield to protect him and his coven. He took me as his lover to make me loyal to him." She hung her head in shame. "I had been so innocent, and he took everything from me.

"One night, the coven from South Carolina attacked us. My shield was still tenuous, and it faltered during the battle. Before I was able to to restore it, several newborns broke through, biting and tearing at us. The scars on my body are from that battle. Adam's closest friend was killed. When the battle was over, we'd won, but Adam was very angry that I'd allowed his friend to die. He had his soldiers kidnap my father, his wife, and their children. As his minions held me back and made me watch, Adam and his inner circle killed my family. He said it was my punishment for failing him.

"Unable to destroy my indestructible body, I simply allowed things to happen then. I allowed them to continue to create newborns indiscriminately. I allowed them to use my shield to protect their pathetic existences. I allowed Adam to abuse and fuck me as he pleased. I didn't care anymore."

Faint sobs echoed throughout the loft, and Bella realized Emmett had buried his face in her lap and begun to cry. She'd never told her story before, and until now, it hadn't occurred to her how horrifying it must sound. "Emmett, I don't have to tell you any more," she whispered.

Looking up at her, his eyes wet and bloodshot, he gasped. "No, I want to know what happened to you."

"Okay, baby," she said, smiling sadly. "One day, years later, the Italian coven that protects the secret of the Vampire came to the United States to suppress the Southern armies. When they came for us, they were ruthless, destroying and burning everyone in their path. I knew this was my chance to end it all, and I lowered my shield. A slight man with long, jet black hair stood over me, and, when he touched me, I braced to die. But I didn't. He pointed to two of his soldiers, commanding them to restrain Adam as he continued to rest his hand on my arm.

"Aro is the leader of the Volturi, the Italian coven, and when he touches you he can see every thought and memory you've ever had. I had completely dropped my shield, hoping to die, and he was able to see how Adam had misused my gift and my body. He promised me that he would not destroy me but cherish me, and he said he would begin by punishing my tormentor. I watched as Aro tore Adam apart in small, torturous pieces, killing him slowly over a number of hours then burning the pieces in a towering pyre of destroyed newborns.

"Aro took me back to Italy to become one of the Volturi. He trained me in the responsible use of my shield. He taught me how to live appropriately as a vampire. He explained that, as a lion respects the gazelle it hunts or the good farmer respects the cattle he raises, we must respect our human prey. We shouldn't revel in killing a human. However, we must also understand that it is the natural order of things that we kill. We are vampires, and, as such, humans must die for our sustenance. It is not necessary to apologize for our needs.

"In return for his faithful friendship, I never shield myself from Aro. And even though I no longer live in Italy, I return to assist him and the Volturi whenever they require it."

Emmett raised his head and took Bella's blood-stained hands in his. He tenderly kissed the tips of her fingers. "Bella, I am so sorry that those things happened to you. I love you, and I swear I'll protect you. I'll never let anyone hurt you again."

She sighed. "You can't protect me as a human." She watched him intently, waiting for the horror that was sure to come.

"Then change me." His chin held high, there was no doubt in his voice. He was almost commanding her.

She brushed her fingers along his strong, square jaw. There was a tiny bit of stubble, and she was glad it would always be there if she changed him now. "You saw what I did to that girl, Emmett. Every three days, I go out, select my prey, and drain them until they're dead in my arms. It is not always as easy as today. Sometime it is messy; sometimes you have to hurt them. Are you sure you can do that? If you try to deny yourself, you will eventually kill. You won't be able to stop yourself."

"Why did you fuck her?" He seemed shocked at the huskiness of his voice as he spoke.

Bella grimaced. "I wanted to give her one last moment of happiness before I ended her life. It's not necessary that you do that. At first, you'll be hard pressed not to rip your prey to shreds, much less pleasure them."

Emmett shuddered slightly. "Have you changed anyone else?"

Bella thought back to the night she changed the beautiful boy. He would have been this brave, she thought, had she been able to tell him her story. "Once," she whispered, "a beautiful boy, a very long time ago."

"It must have hurt very much when he left you," Emmett said, stroking her thigh with his hand.

What is he doing? She tried to ignore the arousal she felt as he touched her. "He didn't leave me. He was my mate, but I had to leave him behind when the Volturi needed my help. He died before I could come back for him."

Emmett rose to his knees and, pushing Bella's legs apart, moved to kneel between them. "Am I your mate, now, Bella?" He pulled her shirt to remove it, and she let him.

"No," she said, sighing as she watched him lift her skirt to reveal her rapidly soaking panties. "I love you, but not like that. I think you realize it, too. Aro says we are fated to protect each other."

Looking directly into her eyes, Emmett's blue orbs were filled with fire. He pulled her legs until she was balanced on the edge of the chair and slipped two fingers into her panties, grazing her slick lips. "Yes, I do understand, I think. That doesn't mean I can't make you feel good, though."

Bella moaned as she felt Emmett's two wet fingers slide inside her. Suddenly, she remembered what Aro had said, and she pushed Emmett away. "What are you doing? Aro says we can't do this...it will confuse you."

Emmett sat back on the floor, his eyes wide with hurt. "I just thought if you remembered how good we are together, you wouldn't kill me."

"Oh, no, Emmett," she cried, falling on the floor in front of him. "That's not what I want, not at all."

"You don't think I can do it, Bella," he said pleadingly, "or that I want to. But I can, and I do. I want to be like you so I can protect you, so that I can always be there for you. I will make sure no one ever hurts you again." He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. "Change me, Bella."

She gasped as she realized that, the entire time he was comforting her and weeping for her past pain, he thought she was going to drain him. He thought she could just throw him away, and still he wanted to protect her, shield her from her memories and the evils of her world. He was so brave, and, despite Aro's warnings, she was going to show him how much he meant to her.

Crawling into his lap, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her. "You are going to be a beautiful vampire," she whispered against his lips. She felt the hot breath of his sigh against her face.

As their mouths met, Bella sucked Emmett's plump bottom lip. She could always taste the slight saltiness of his skin. He opened his mouth, and she felt his tongue press against her. Parting her lips, she took his strong, thick tongue into her mouth.

At first tentative, his hands became insistent, removing her bra and palming her breasts. Leaning back in his arms, she moaned as he wrapped his lips around her stiff nipple and suckled gently. She ran her fingers through his hair, tugging to let him know he could take her.

He gazed at her, his lips swollen and parted slightly. "Here?"

In answer to his question, she moved from his lap and lay on the floor next to him, feet away from the shattered wood of the dining room table. Lying down next to her, he shuffled, and she could hear the zipper of his pants moving. His large hands pushed her skirt up to her hips and slowly pulled her panties down her legs. Settling over her, his weight supported on his elbow, he wedged his knee between her thighs, grinding firmly against her.

"Are you ready?" he whispered, his eyes full of concern.

She cupped her hand against his cheek, still slightly damp from his tears. "I am. Are you?"

Kissing her tenderly, he thrust deep inside her. "Yes, Bella...oh God, yes."

Their bodies crashing together, they made love on the cold wood floor. Bella wrapped her legs, still clad in the leather boots, around Emmett's waist and dug her heels into his bare ass. He responded by pounding into her harder than he ever had, moaning and crying her name with each penetration of her hot, dripping body. Every muscle in his body began to tense, and she knew he was close. Grabbing a handful of his hair, she forced his head down, and she placed her lips against his ear.

"I love you, Emmett, and I'll see you in three days."

Burying her face in his neck, she felt his pulse as he exploded inside her, thrusting with each spasm of his cock. Placing one last kiss on his shoulder, Bella sunk her sharp teeth into his neck, and, as his blood began to flow into her mouth, she came hard.

~*~

She'd been at the hospital for a week, maintaining vigil over Edward's bed. The influenza had overtaken him suddenly, and he teetered on the edge of death. His father died two days ago, his mother the previous day, and now he was all alone.

Since losing her life in a Georgia meadow, she swore to herself she would never change anyone against their will. She'd never thought she'd want to change someone, but the beautiful boy changed everything. She had been so close to confessing everything so many times, to begging him to let her change him. Instead, she was watching him die. Checking his condition earlier in the evening, the doctor gently placed his hand on her arm as he told her Edward would likely not live to see the next morning.

Seeing Aro with his wife and other Volturi with their mates, Bella always felt a pang of longing. She'd never, however, thought she would find love in her dark world. Having found it after 121 years, she wasn't going to let it go, even if it violated every oath she'd ever made.

Waiting until the dark hours after midnight, she lifted Edward into her arms, cradling him against her chest. His skin was blazing with fever, and his body was drenched in sweat. His weight was inconsequential, and she tiptoed down the corridor until she found the first exit. Stepping into the street, she was anxious. She needed to quickly find a place to hide. Passing an abandoned building, she walked to the back entrance and kicked in the door. The first interior door led to a basement, and, carrying him down the stairs, she laid him gently on the cold floor.

"Isabella," he moaned. It was the first sound he'd made in two days.

Sitting next to him, she pulled him into her lap. His head hung limply, and his long limbs spilled over her. His breathing was shallow, and a pallor had begun to creep over his features. There was no more time.

Kissing his still lips gently, she lowered her mouth to his neck. "Please forgive me, Edward," she whispered against his skin. "I love you so much. I cannot bear an eternity without you."

Slowly clamping her teeth down on his neck, she could feel the rip of this skin and the pop of his jugular as she bit into him. Her venom entered his body, and she drank his thick, rich blood. They would forever be a part of one another.

She continued to consume him until every inch of her body was warm. She then pulled away, running her tongue over the gaping wound to seal it. She lay on the floor with him, holding him against her cool body. She would try to sooth the intense burning the best she could, and she hoped he would awaken before she needed to hunt again. When the convulsions and screams began, she held him tighter, covering his mouth with her shaking hand.

"Bella!"

Blinking her eyes, Bella looked at Emmett's writhing body on the bed. She'd undressed him and placed him there, wanting to give him what little comfort she could. His screams meant it had begun, and she shuddered as she remembered the intense fire of her own change.

Stripping naked, she lay on top of him, hoping her cool skin would take away some part of the pain. His screams were blood-curdling, and she placed her hand over his mouth. She'd watched so many innocent people turned into monsters during her time with Adam's coven, and she turned Edward that night in the abandoned warehouse. Still, she was horrified watching and hearing someone endure the pain of transformation. Knowing Emmett chose his fate made it no easier to hear his cries of agony.

Edward had screamed her name repeatedly as he burned. She knew that each time her name vibrated against her hand, he was begging her to take his pain away. Finally, after 24 hours, he stopped screaming. She hoped Emmett would do the same.

Holding Emmett's trembling body, she tried not to think of the beautiful boy. She tried not to wonder if he died never knowing how much she loved him. She tried not to imagine how painful his second death had been. She tried not to hate herself for failing him.

Three days. Three days and I will never be alone again.