Disclaimer: Standard. Me no-no own. Apart from Quiztime. But I don't own Stephen Fry. Or other mentioned things you may recognise

Purpose of this chappie: Random, pointless humour, written purely to put a smile on your faces with it's sheer cheesy-ness and as a small interlude until I write the next bit of the fight scene

Two games of Ladders, Chinese Whispers and Wink Murder later, the Leaders run out of things to do because someone had left the schedule at their brother's-friend's-neighbour's and they had gone to Lanzarote for a second honeymoon and their house was locked up.

The inflatable beachball that had lived in the cloakroom had been whacked up towards the fluorescent lights in a riotous game of volleyball two weeks previously and still hadn't come down.

As it was, all there was to do was play an old game of Quiztime someone had fished out from under the stage and fifteen layers of dust and dead flies. Half the Quiz cards had decomposed into atoms as they always seem to do with any sort of quiz game that is left for any amount of time.

Brooklen huffed into the box, getting a cloud of dust in the face as a reward. The effect was that she'd aged a few thousand years.

" Anybody laughs and I will attach jump leads to their genetalia!" she threatened the other Guides before stomping to the toilets to wash off the dust. Ally rolled her eyes.

" ' A fun game for adults and children alike!'" she read out from the newly dusted lid," ' Test your knowledge!! An experience for all ages!'" she raised her eyebrows," Sounds like a hoot."

By now they had all sat themselves in a semi-circle with the ancient box in the centre.

" Yeah," said Millie," It means we really are desperate."

" Okay, people let's settle down now!" called Carrie, or Fluffy Owl as she insisted everyone called her. She was young-ish, read psychological child care books, and was a bit of a push-over, and had that irritating voice that the shrink that worked for the bad guys in films used. " Let's get this show on the road!" Then she picked up one of the quiz cards and read out:"How would you remove a clamp from your car?"

" Smack it with a big hammer." said Millie with a completly straight face.

" You should be able to deter traffic wardens from clamping the car in the first place." said a dust-free Brooklen thoughtfully.

" With flamethrowers!" announced Lexi, as if she had given it a great deal of thought," Nitroglycerine bombs!"

" Is that really gonna work?"

" Well, would he be giving you a ticket after that?"

" He'd be dead!"

Fluffy Owl sighed and massaged her temples. A quiet night...Just one quiet night...

" Anyone watch Dane Cook last night?" called Lexi," ' Getting hit by a car'?"

" Who?"

" American comedian. Seriously, I can recount it word for word! It goes like this..."

Ally only half listened to her friend talking about how said comedian finally saw someone getting hit by a car. They'd all watched that Dane Cook thing with Toni. Where the heck was she? It wasn't like her to be absent for anything. Late, yes but not properly absent! Ally sighed. Well, at least she didn't need to invent a reason as to why she forgot to bring those Yu-Gi-Oh cards she owed her...

Someone had picked up another card.

" What can't the Bubis do in the dark?"

" Go to the toilet? They're scared of it in the dark."

" Er...right."

" They sound like those sort of people those nineteenth century pioneer type women go and stay with." remarked Millie. She continued, making her voice posh and plummy," 'Yes, I stayed three years with the Bubi people. Lovely people. It really is hard to wear yellow well. That was also where I met my former butler, hmmm, yes. We were crossing the Congo and he was fifety years my junior. Lovely man, hmmm, yes."

This got a few laughs, confused look and an exasperated glare ( Fluffy Owl).

" Talk, right?" said Brooklen," I think I saw something on the Discovery Channel."

" That's right," said the one holding the quiz card," It says here that it's because their language is mostly gesture."

" So they really can talk behind their backs?" asked Ally, thoughtfully.

" You mean like this?" said Brooklen waving her arms around behind her. That sparked off some people into waving their own arms around, making a rude gesture each time and declaring ' I LEARNT IT FROM THE BUBIS!!"

Lexi winced and muttered," That is cheesy..."

" What is the town of Didcot fameous for?" was the next question.

"Oh, I know this one!" yelled Ally,"It's Britain's second biggest eyesore!"

" What's the first one, then?" asked Lexi.

" People!" said Brooklen, adopting a posh voice," The working clah-sses! That Brown fellow!" Brooklen's voice came back to normal," In the words of Frankie Boyle,' Gordon Brown's aged so much since he came into office, it looks like someone's drawn a sad face on a scrotum!'"

Fluffy Owl shot a glare at the teen, over some the giggle-ridden younger Guides. After all, someone said a naughty word.

" This thing says that it's because it's got Britain's second oldest yew tree."

" Blimey! Second oldest, second ugliest, always the bridesmaid, Didcot!"

Ally spaced out again. Toni ought to be here. Toni was Ally's best friend, and first one sinced the Macgregors had moved to Preston four years ago. Where the hell was she?

Worship Stephen Fry, God of General Ignorance! And his minion, Alan Davies!