Once again I apologize for the lack of updates on this story...I was having a really, really hard time figuring out what to do with the next couple of chapters, especially this one. But I've pretty much got everything figured out now so the story will hopefully flow...I just hope I haven't lost the wonderful peeps who read the story. As always, Read, Enjoy, and Review. Your input is greatly appreciated!!

Chapter 34...

John's eyes opened slowly and he struggled to focus. He didn't know how long he'd been asleep but it was some of the best sleep he'd had in a long time. He smiled when he saw the unruly brown waves in front of him. He inhaled deeply, taking in the light, clean scent of Brianna's hair. She always said she couldn't stand to use shampoos with a lot of perfume because she didn't want to smell her own hair all the time. She was laying in front of him, her back against his stomach. One of his arms was under her head and the other was around her waist, her slender arm was draped over his. He kissed the back of her head, pulling her closer, reveling in the feeling of waking up beside her. He wasn't kidding himself, this wasn't an ideal situation and he had no idea what her reaction would be once she woke up. Their night together didn't erase their issues. She was still engaged. John was a little surprised that Nick hadn't had him arrested after their little talk last night. Pissing off a cop was a bad idea but he couldn't help it. When Maria told him what she saw, he had to do something. Nick was lucky that all he got was a threat.

Yawning, John looked around the room for a clock. He found it behind him on the table beside the bed. It was almost noon. Part of him wanted to wake her so they could talk but he knew she hadn't been sleeping much lately and he wanted her to get as much rest as possible. And it didn't hurt his ego that her first good rest came because of him. He settled back into his pillow, hoping he could get another hour or two of sleep. Then, he felt her breathing change and she started to stir. He didn't move, not knowing if she was waking up or just moving a little. After a few seconds, she turned over and he found himself looking into sleepy green eyes. They just looked at each other for a few seconds, neither of them saying anything. He had plenty that he wanted to say but he needed her to say something first. He needed to know what she was thinking and feeling before he said anything.

"Good morning," she said quietly. Her tone wasn't cold but it wasn't overly warm.

"Morning," he said, brushing her hair away from her face.

"How long have you been up?" she asked.

"Not that long," he shrugged.

"What time is it?" she asked.

John sighed, was she really going to make him go through small talk?

"It's 11:46," he answered, looking over at the clock and then back at her.

She looked surprised and he expected her to get up and start rushing around getting dressed, saying she had to leave.

She didn't though. She sat up slowly, resting her back against the headboard, holding the sheet over herself.

He sat up as well, turning to face her, "So..I'm guessing we need to talk."

She nodded, "That's probably a good idea."

And then it was silent again. She was looking down at her nails and he was looking at her, waiting for her to tell him that they'd made a mistake and she needed to get back home to her asshole of a fiancé.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, finally looking at him. He hated that he couldn't read her. Her eyes usually said everything. She didn't look upset but she wasn't wrapping her arms around him and saying he loved him either.

"Can I ask you something?"

He nodded, "Of course."

"Is this..what's been going on with us.." she seemed to be searching for the right words to say. "Is there a possibility that you just want me because I'm with someone else?"

John was surprised that she would ask him something like that. Did she actually think that what was going on between them was just ego driven? She had to know him better than that. He didn't even have to think about his answer, "Brianna…I don't like Nick. I think he's one of the biggest assholes I've ever met…but that has nothing to do with the way I feel about you."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"I don't want you because it bothers me to see you with someone else. It bothers the hell out of me, I'm not gonna lie," he smirked. "But I want you because..because I want you, not because I'm macho and I don't wanna see you with another man. I would want you if you were married, single, lesbian..whatever."

She laughed a little, shaking her head, "Why?"

"Because I love you," he answered simply. They were beyond hiding their feelings and acting like they didn't know what was going on. "When I said it last night I meant it."

She nodded, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees. She seemed to be deep in thought, her eyes not focused on anything in particular.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

She looked over at him, seeming a bit surprised, and nodded, "Yeah, of course."

John took a deep breath, not sure if he wanted to hear her how she would answer his question. He had to ask it though, "Who do you want to be with? Me..or Nick?"

Her eyes went back to her hands as she thought about her answer. Then, she looked up at him, "If it were just Nick…I'd leave him right now to be with you."

John waited for her to continue, though he couldn't hide the smile that touched his face.

"I meant it too," she said. "I've done everything I can to ignore it or fight it but..There's no way around it. I love you."

He ran his finger over her cheek and along her jaw.

She looked down for a few seconds and when her eyes met his again, they were misty, her dark lashes wet with unshed tears, "It's not just Nick though…I have to think about Maya."

John sighed, nodding.

"I'm the closest thing to a mother she's got," Brianna sniffed. "I'm the one who takes care of her. I love her."

"I know you do," John nodded. "And she loves you."

She sniffed again, staring down at her hands, "If I went to Nick right now and told him I was leaving, he'd never let me see her. He'd be so angry that he would take her away and I wouldn't know if she was taken care of. I wouldn't know if she was happy. I wouldn't know anything."

John couldn't imagine what she was feeling. For him, it was easy. He loved her. He'd finally smartened up and gotten Paula out of his life. He didn't have anyone else to worry about. He pulled her close to him, putting his arms around her. She rested her head on his shoulder, crying softly. He was beginning to regret having this discussion. He knew it needed to be done but he just hated seeing her cry. Her breathing returned to normal and she slowly pulled away, looking up at him, "I have to leave him, I know that."

"Bri you-"

"Just listen," she took his large hands in her smaller ones. "I know I have to leave him…I just need some time..to figure some things out."

John's feelings were an unsettling mix of elation and guilt. He was thrilled that she was choosing him. He was thrilled that she was leaving Nick. But he couldn't think of any way that this could end well as far as Maya was concerned. Despite her dependence on Brianna and her love for her, she was Nick's child plain and simple.

"I'm not saying that I expect you to be with me while I figure things out," she looked into his eyes. "But I'm asking you to just..be patient with me. Okay?"

"I wanna be with you any way I can," he said, running his hands over her hair and taking her face in his hands. "If it has to be like this until you leave Nick…then that's how it has to be."

John knew that there was no way he could just go back to being 'good friends' while he waited for her to break up with her fiancé. He knew that he wasn't getting himself into the best situation but…after what had transpired in the last 24 hours, not being with her just didn't seem like an option.

"John you don't have to-"

"I know I don't have to do anything," he said. "I want to…I love you."

She kissed him. A long, passionate, searching kiss. With that kiss she seemed to be asking him questions. Asking if he would wait for her, if he loved her, if they would really get through this. And he kissed her back, answering every question: yes.

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"How's your coffee?" Matt asked. He and Raquel had been up for a few hours drinking coffee and watching TV.

"Not the best I ever had but I suppose I wont fire you yet," she smirked.

"You better not," Matt said. "You know, I'm not your average housemaid. I can cook, I can sew, and I do great laundry."

"You do?" she smiled. "Well then I have to keep you on. We'll work on your coffee skills."

Matt watched her face as she turned her attention to the TV. He was glad that he could make her smile. She looked beautiful when she smiled.

Ever since her attack Matt kind of felt like it was his job to try to keep her smiling. A job that he had no problem accepting. He liked Raquel a lot, she was a good friend and if he couldn't beat the hell out of the guy that hurt her, he could at least do everything he could to help her get through it. And the more time he spent around her, the closer he felt they got. He was glad that he was someone she could lean on.

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Raquel looked up from the TV when he heard a door open. She heard feet on the carpet and then Jeff came around the corner yawning. Troy was out all night so Jeff had slept in his room to get away from Matt's snoring on the couch.

"Well if it isn't sleeping beauty," she smiled at him.

"Good morning," he walked over, mussing her hair before walking back to the kitchen.

"I see nobody made Jeff any coffee," he said. "Thanks guys."

"I didn't think you'd be up for another few hours," Raquel said. "Sorry."

She and Jeff had been up rather late watching some movie. She knew Jeff liked his sleep so when she and Matt got up, she didn't want to wake him. She was glad he was up though. She loved hanging out with Matt but..she just liked it better when Jeff was around.

"You eat yet?" Jeff asked, coming in and sitting next to Raquel, his arm on the couch behind her.

"No," she shook her head, taking a sip of her coffee. "I'm not hungry."

"Well you need to eat something," he said. "It's almost noon already."

"I will," she smiled, appreciating his concern.

"Come on, why don't we all go get some breakfast?" Jeff suggested. "Matt can pay."

"Oh thanks," Matt tossed a pillow over Raquel's head, hitting Jeff right on top of his head.

Jeff laughed, "You're lucky there's a girl between us."

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"I cant get rid of this guy Joe," Nick shook his head, frustrated. He was venting to his partner about his damaged love life. "He's not gonna give up until he gets her to leave me."

"Don't let it happen," Joe said simply.

"It's not that easy," Nick said. "She spends so much fucking time around him and they have all that history and…I don't know. I gotta figure out what to do."

"Well," Joe sighed. "If you really feel that threatened..you gotta find a way to make her stay with you."

"How do you suggest I do that?" Nick asked.

"Well, what do women do when they wanna trap a man?" Joe smirked.

Nick thought about it for a second and then looked at his partner quizzically, "You think I should get her pregnant?"

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