Hey, sorry it took so long to update, but I've been busy with homework and basketball lately. Our school team has semi finals Wednesday, so wish us luck! Sorry, that was off topic. Anyways, as always, please review. In this chapter, as you'll see, there's a big fight scene. So if you have any ideas for what should happen next, please tell me! So here you go... Chapter Four.
"Wow," I said once I had caught up the Jamie.
"We were right," Jamie said. "She's not like the others at all. Did…did she remind you of your mom? Is that why you started crying? Sorry, don't answer that if you don't want to."
"No, it's okay," I replied. I didn't really mind telling him. I wasn't embarrassed that I had cried. "I guess that was part of it, but part of it was the same reason you cried. I wished we could go back and warn everyone, I wished we had been ready."
"Yeah," Jamie sighed. "But those were some really interesting stories. I liked the Spiders. They reminded me of Herbert."
I smiled. "I was thinking about him too. You know, I was wondering, how far off are all our science fiction stories then? I mean, the spaceships were right, the invasion was sort of right, where nobody knows what's really happening until it's too late…What else did we guess right?"
Jamie nodded. "We weren't right about their descriptions, but other than that…I see your point. Who knows? Maybe they have laser ray guns too," Jamie was laughing now.
"Yeah," I said, laughing too. We laughed quietly for a while, and then we had reached my room. I sat down on the bed beside Jamie, and laid my head on his shoulder.
"Man, crying tires me out," I said, feeling sleepy. "No wonder my dad didn't want me to cry often."
Jamie chuckled. "Yeah, well it's hard not to sometimes."
I nodded, "You're right. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have cried back there," I paused for a moment. Then I asked, " Do you miss Mel?"
"Of course. She was always there to help me, and now…"
"Jeb was talking to me the other day, and he was noticing how it sometimes seems like Wanderer's having a fight inside. He thinks…He thinks maybe Mel's still there."
"Wanderer?" Jamie asked.
"Yeah," I replied. "That's what she said her name was. And it sorta makes sense, what Jeb said. Remember my dad? When we were on a raid and he…or at least his body, was there? And we almost got caught, but he held off the other souls, or whatever you want to call them. And then he told me and Ian and Kyle he loved us? Maybe that's what happened to him. Maybe he was still there, and maybe Mel's still there too."
Jamie was quiet for a moment. "Jamie?" I asked, and turned to look at him. He was looking at me with hope, but also despair, as if he wanted it to be true, but knew it couldn't be.
"You really think it's possible?" Jamie asked, his eyes wide.
I nodded. "I didn't think it was possible for a soul to turn good, so why not? It would explain what happened to my dad. I wonder what happened to him…" I trailed off, thinking. "I wonder if Wanderer would know."
"You could ask her," Jamie suggested.
"I think I will," I said, and at that moment I decided that I would.
"You know," Jamie said after another moment of silence," I'm really happy you came here, Lex. You're the best friend I ever had, besides Mel."
I looked up at him in surprise. "What brought this on?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I was just thinking about what I would do if you got…caught." He shuddered, and so did I.
"That will never happen," I said fiercely. "And even if it did, I wouldn't let myself disappear. I'd be strong like Mel, and my dad."
"I know," Jamie said. "You're a 'fighter', like Jeb would say. And you're the bravest person I know. Even braver than Jared."
"Thanks Jamie. But you know what's strange? I'd give anything to be a coward. Anything. Because that would mean I wouldn't have gone through all the stuff I did."
Jamie nodded understandingly. "It makes you wonder, what would've happened if we had been ready?"
"I don't know, but the world would be a heck of a lot different than it is now, I'm sure."
Jamie put his head on mine, which was still on his shoulder. I leaned into him and felt his warm skin against mine. I sighed. Life was good. Almost too good, really. I felt as though something bad had to happen soon, because life was so perfect. Then, as we sat together in a picture perfect moment, Jamie's stomach growled and the moment was over.
"Jeez, Jamie. Way to ruin the moment," I said, laughing.
"Sorry," He grinned. "Let's go get some food. We can bring some for Jeb and Wanderer too. That way, we can ask Wanderer more about the Flowers. She didn't finish explaining those last time."
So we got up, both of us groaning a bit at our stiff limbs, and headed to the kitchen. Ian, Wes, Lily, and Trudy were all there, along with a few others. Lunch meant soup today, which wasn't too great, but it was food, and no one complained.
When Ian saw us walking in, he chuckled.
"What's so funny?" I demanded, putting my hands on my hips. I hated being left out of things.
"Oh, nothing. It's just that you two are always together. It's funny. It's like you're attached at the hip, or a couple, or something."
I felt my face turn red at the word 'couple', and a glance to the side told me Jamie was blushing even more deeply than I was. Ian just laughed harder. I grabbed Jamie's hand and dragged him over to the makeshift counter where the pot of soup was sitting. We grabbed four trays of food and then headed back to Wanderer and Jeb. Ian asked us where we were going, but he didn't seem upset when I told him.
When we got back, Wanderer was talking to Jeb about dragons. Jamie and I both carried two trays and I placed mine carefully on the ground in front of Jeb and Wanderer. Jamie handed me mine, and we sat down.
"Hi Wanderer," I said.
"Hi," Jamie echoed sounding a bit embarrassed. He must have been thinking about what had happened earlier. I was surprised I wasn't embarrassed too, but for some reason, I was almost happy that I had had that intimate moment with Wanderer.
"Hi Jamie, hi Lexi," Wanderer replied, sounding a little shy. Then she grabbed the soup bowl eagerly and gulped it down.
"Should known you were just being polite in the mess hall today. Gotta speak up when you're hungry, Wanda. I'm no mind reader," Jeb said after she had finished.
"Wanda?" Jamie asked.
She nodded, telling us she didn't mind.
"Kinda suits her, doncha think?" Jeb looked proud of himself, as though it were some great feat he had completed, instead of giving Wanderer a nickname. He made me think of a male peacock, showing of his tail feathers and puffing out his chest.
"Kinda, I guess," I said, not wanting to give him a reason to be even more pompous. "Were you guys talking about dragons?"
"Yeah," Jeb told us enthusiastically, "but not the lizardy kind. They're all made up of jelly. They can fly, though…sort of. The air's thicker, sort of jelly, too. So it's almost like swimming. And they can breathe acid – that's about as good as fire, wouldn't you say?"
Jamie and I nodded. Imagine that, I thought, breathing acid. Jeb continued to tell us about the dragons eagerly, and we listened, fascinated. Jamie edged closer to Wanda, as Jeb called her, as the night wore on. I felt that familiar twinge of jealousy in my chest. Once again, Jamie seemed to sense my pain, and he grabbed my hand. I'll have to ask him about that later, I thought. How does he always know when I feel jealous or hurt? Unless he has ESP or something, it doesn't make much sense, at least not to me. I turned my attention back to Jeb, who yawned a huge yawn. This had us all yawning, and soon I felt tired again.
"You tell a good story, Wanda," Jeb said when we had finished stretching.
"It's what I did…before. I was a teacher, at university in San Diego. I taught history."
"A teacher!" Jeb repeated, excited. "Well, ain't that amazin'? There's something we could use around here. Mag's girl Sharon does the teaching for the four kids, but there's a lot she can't help with. She's most comfortable with math and the like. History, now –"
"I only taught our history," Wanda interrupted. I guess she realized that waiting for Jeb to be quiet for a moment might take a while. "I wouldn't be much help as a teacher here. I don't have any training."
"Your history is better than nothing. Things we human folks ought to know, seeing as we live in a more populated universe than we were aware of."
"But I wasn't a real teacher," she said, looking desperate. "I was sort of an honorary professor, almost a guest lecturer. They only wanted me because…well, because of the story that goes along with my name."
"That's the next one I was going to ask for," Jeb said. "We can talk about your teaching experience later. Now – why did they call you Wanderer? I've heard a bunch of odd ones, Dry Water, Fingers in the Sky, Falling Upward – all mixed in, of course, with the Pams and Jims. I tell you, it's the kind of thing that can drive a man crazy with curiosity."
"Well, the way it usually works is that a soul will try out a planet or two – two's the average – and then they'll settle in their favourite place. They just move to new hosts in the same species on the same planet when their body gets close to death. It's very disorienting moving from one kind of body to the next. Most souls really hate that. Some never move from the planet they are born on. Occasionally, someone has a hard time finding a good fit. They may try three planets. I met a soul once who'd been to five before he'd settled in with the Bats. I liked it there – I suppose that's the closest I've ever come to choosing a planet. If it hadn't been for the blindness…"
"How many planets have you lived on?" Jamie asked quietly.
"This is my ninth," she told him, squeezing his hand lightly.
"Wow, nine!" I whispered. I wondered why she didn't stay on any of the planets she had visited. I also wondered what it would be like, changing bodies all the time.
"That's why they wanted me to teach," Wanda continued. "Anybody can tell them our statistics, but I have personal experience from most of the planets we've…taken." She hesitated slightly before saying 'taken'. I suppose she thought it might upset Jamie or me. "There are only three I've never been to – well, now four. They just opened a new world."
"Why did you never stay anywhere?" I asked, finally voicing my thoughts.
"I never found a place I liked enough to stay."
"What about Earth? Do you think you'll stay here?" As if she has a choice, I thought. She couldn't go back to the other souls now, so she would…what would she do? I suppose she would just have to stay in Mel's body for the rest of Mel's life, and then…what? Would she die with Mel? Or would she just live forever, in the ground?
Wanda interrupted my thoughts by speaking. "Earth is…very interesting," she murmured. "It's harder than any place I've been before."
"Harder than the place with the frozen air and the claw beasts?" I asked, raising my eyebrows in surprise.
"In its own way, yes," Wanda said before yawning. Suddenly, she got a strange expression on her face, as if she were having a conversation with someone I couldn't see. I watched her, but after a moment she was back from wherever she had been.
Jeb yawned. "I'm being downright rude, I guess. You must be bushed – walking all over today and then me keepin' you up half the night talking. Ought to be a better host. C'mon you two, let's go and let Wanda get some sleep."
"Okay, Uncle Jeb," Jamie said, and he stood up and let go of my hand. I extended my hand up to him, and he pulled me up, grinning at me. I grinned back, and I felt a warm, almost fluttery feeling in my chest.
"Hey, you two wanna help an old man up?" Jeb said from the floor. Jamie and I grinned at each other again, before helping Jeb up.
"Thanks, kids," Jeb groaned as he got up. "And thanks to you, too," he added to Wanda. "Most interesting conversation I've had in…well, probably forever. Rest your voice up, Wanda, because my curiosity is a powerful thing. Ah, there he is! 'Bout time."
I hadn't noticed the sound of footsteps coming towards us, but now I saw Doc coming towards us.
"Sorry, Jeb. I got to talking with Sharon, and then I sort of dozed off."
"We didn't even notice, Doc," Jeb said. "We were having the time of our lives here. Someday you'll have to get her to tell you some of her stories – great stuff. Not tonight, though. She's got to be pretty worn out, I'd be. We'll see you in the morning."
"Keep an eye on this," Jeb said, laying the gun beside the mat Doc had laid down in front of the cave entrance.
"Are you okay, Wanda?" I asked, noticing she was trembling. "You're shaking."
"Now, now," Jeb said in a soothing voice. "I asked Doc if he minded taking a shift. You don't need to worry about anything. Doc's an honourable man."
Doc smiled sleepily. "I'm not going to hurt you…Wanda, is it? I promise. I'll just keep watch while you sleep."
Wanda bit her lip nervously.
"Hey, Jeb? Maybe I should stay with her, if it would comfort her."
Jeb looked at Wanda, waiting for her answer. She didn't seem to be able to speak, so she just nodded once, quickly.
Jeb turned back to me. "Are you gonna be okay in there, Lex?"
"Oh, yeah. I'll be fine," I said.
"I'll stay too then," Jamie added.
"I think you'd better come with me, Jamie. Wanda's already got Lex, and besides there are only two mattresses."
"Yeah, but – "
Jeb interrupted him, saying "Night, Wanda. Night, Lex. Night, Doc." Then he headed down the hall.
Jamie hesitated, looking from Wanda to me and back again.
"You'd better go," I whispered, watching Jeb.
Jamie sighed, then nodded, still looking a little worried. "Doc's okay," he promised Wanda.
"C'mon, boy, it's late!" Jeb called.
Jamie hurried after Jeb.
I watched him leave, and then turned to Wanda. She was watching Doc, who had laid out on the mat.
"Good night," he murmured groggily.
"Night," I replied. Then, grabbing Wanda's hand, I dragged her inside the cave with me. She still looked worried, so I whispered," I'll protect you, don't worry. Besides, Doc's good. Promise." She seemed at least a little reassured, and she lay down on the foot of the bed. I lay down on the floor. She tried to move to the floor so I could have the bed, but I silenced her with a hard look.
"Good night, Wanda," I whispered.
She cleared her throat. "Good night, Lex. And thank you." I realized this was the first time she had called me by my nickname, and I felt another surge of compassion for her. I also realized that I had stopped calling her 'it' ever since she had started telling me and Jamie about the souls. She wasn't an 'it' anymore, she was a person, a friend, maybe even a little bit of a mother, for me.
Suddenly, I heard a shuffling sound from inside the room, I sprang to my feet and crouched defensively in front of Wanda. Outside, Doc was asleep. I had never thought I would be protecting Wanda, but a lot had changed in the past few days. One way or another, I knew that whoever was in the room, trying to kill Wanda, would have to go through me first.
The shadow was huge, and it loomed over me. I stayed crouched in front of Wanda, protecting her. Then the figure spoke.
"Shh, it's just me," Jamie whispered.
I punched him in the arm, hard. "What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?" I glared at him angrily, still crouching in front of Wanda.
"Sorry," he said. "But let's say I was trying to kill Wanda. You would have protected her?"
"Of course," I said. "She's a person too, in fact, she's one of the best people I know."
"That's not true," Wanda whispered. "If I were good, I wouldn't have taken Mel's body."
"But you didn't know about that. You didn't know she was still there," I argued.
"Can we talk about this later?" Jamie asked. "I'm sorry, that was stupid. I was trying not to wake Doc – I didn't even think how I would scare you. You okay?" He directed the question at both of us.
"Sure," Wanda said.
"Yeah, just don't be stupid next time, okay?" I said, still a little angry.
I saw Jamie grin in the moonlight. "I'll do my best." My remaining anger dissolved and I grinned too.
"What are you doing here, Jamie? Shouldn't you be asleep?" Wanda asked.
"That's why I'm here. Uncle Jeb was snoring like you wouldn't believe. I couldn't stand it anymore."
"Don't you usually sleep with Jeb?" Wanda asked, seeming confused.
"No, I usually sleep with Jared. He doesn't snore. But you know that." As he spoke, he bent to untie the bedroll he'd dropped on the floor.
"Why don't you sleep in Jared's room, then? Are you afraid to sleep alone?" Wanda asked.
"Afraid," Jamie grumbled, offended. "No. This is Jared's room. And mine."
"What?" Wanda gasped. "Jeb put me in Jared's room?"
"It's my room, too. And I told Jeb you could have it."
"Jared will be furious," she whispered.
"I can do what I want with my room," Jamie muttered rebelliously. Then he bit his lip.
"We won't tell him. He doesn't have to know," I said.
Wanda nodded. "Good idea."
"You don't mind if I sleep in here, do you? Uncle Jeb's really loud."
I shook my head.
"No, I don't mind. But Jamie, I don't think you should. Actually, you shouldn't either, Lex."
Jamie frowned, trying to be tough.
"Why not?" I asked, confused.
"Because it's not safe. Sometimes people come looking for me at night."
My eyes grew wide. Looking for her? Maybe we really are animals after all, I thought, shaking my head in disgust.
"They do?" Jamie asked.
"Jared always had the gun – they went away."
"Who?" I asked, although I was pretty sure I already knew the answer.
"I don't know – Kyle sometimes," she said. I cringed at Kyle's name. "But there are surely others who are still here."
Jamie nodded.
"All the more reason why we should stay," I said, suddenly determined. "Doc might need help."
"Jamie, Lex – "
"We're not kids, Wanda. We can take care of ourselves." Jamie said defiantly.
"At least take the bed," she said. "I'll sleep on the floor. It's your room."
"That's not right. You're the guest." Jamie said.
Wanda snorted quietly. "Ha. No, the bed is yours."
I lay down on the floor and looked up at Wanda. "You'll have to physically pick me up if you want to move me," I said.
Wanda sighed, but crawled onto the bed.
"That's right," Jamie said approvingly. "You can use my pillow. And can you throw me Jared's?"
Wanda hesitated for the pillow under her head; but Jamie leaned over her and snatched the other one. He offered it to me, first, but I refused. So he put it in the middle, and we lay down side by side on the mat.
We lay in silence for a while, before Jamie said, "Doc has a nice snore, doesn't he?"
We listened for a moment to the low whistle that was Doc's breathing.
"It won't keep you up," I agreed.
"You tired, Wanda?"
"Yeah," she replied.
"Oh."
"Was there something you wanted?" Wanda asked after a moment of silence.
He hesitated before asking, "If I asked you something, would you tell me the truth?"
"I don't know everything," she said cautiously. I listened quietly, leaning gently into Jamie, who had put one arm around me.
"You would know this," Jamie said. "When we were walking…me and Lex…And then later Jeb was saying some stuff to me too…and it was kind of the same idea that we all had. I don't know if we're right or not though…" He trailed off for a moment before continuing. "We think…We think that Melanie might still be alive. Inside there with you, I mean."
Wanda was silent.
"I didn't know that could happen. Does that happen?" His voice broke suddenly and his arm gripped me more tightly.
"Does it Wanda?"
"Why won't you answer me?" Jamie asked after another moment of silence. He was crying now, and I felt his tears falling on my arm. I pressed myself into him, and hugged him tightly for a moment. Then Wanda crawled off the bed and hugged him too, resting her head on his hair.
"Is Melanie still alive, Wanda? Please?" Jamie's body shook more violently now, since he was not trying to hold in his sobs anymore.
"She promised she would come back, didn't she?" Wanda murmured finally. "Would Melanie break a promise to you?"
Jamie hugged Wanda more tightly now, and I let go of him, drawing back.
"Love you, Mel."
"She loves you, too. She's so happy that you're here and safe."
Jamie was silent, and I had to hold back my own tears. I was happy for Jamie, really I was. But I wanted so badly, so desperately to be the one he was hugging now, not the one he was forgetting, like I was now. It seemed as though Wanda had brought out my soft side, because now I felt like sobbing, or running out of the room.
"Is everybody like that?" Jamie whispered after a long time. "Does everybody stay?"
"No," Wanda said sadly. "No. Melanie is special."
"She's strong and brave."
"Very."
"But…" I said. "But a few years ago, my father, he found us on a raid, we almost got caught, he could have turned us in. But instead he ran to Kyle, and Ian, and me, and he told us he loved us and that he was so sorry… Was he…Was he like that too?" I struggled to keep my voice normal. "His name was Kevin. Kevin O'Shea."
Wanda gasped. "No… it can't be…"
"What? What happened to him? Please, Wanda." I begged.
"He…He attacked a Healer, and…tried to cut the soul out. They…they disposed of him. Because he was in poor repair. I'm so…I'm so sorry, Lex."
That was the last straw for me. I burst out crying, repeating "No, no, no…" over and over again. Any hope I'd had for my father was shattered in an instant.
Soon Wanda started to cry, too. Jamie reached out for me, but I recoiled. I felt nothing but hate for him at this moment. He didn't care, he didn't know what it was like. Yes, his parents were gone too. But there hadn't been any hope for them. They had come looking for him. My mother had, but not my father. He hadn't given us away. I had always hoped that one day he would find a way to come back, and then everything would be like it was before, except without my mother. But at least he would be there. Now…Now there was no hope. There was only despair, and sadness.
"Lex…" Jamie started, but he didn't seem to know what to say.
"Just stay away from me Jamie. You don't understand," I said.
"I was just trying to be nice," Jamie said angrily. "It's not my fault your dad got killed. My parents are gone too, remember?"
"Yes, but there was no chance that your father would come back. But there was for mine. And now that hope is gone…" I sobbed harder than before.
"Thanks, Lex. That makes me feel great. You know what? Why don't you just leave, instead of staying here so we can pity you."
My blood was boiling now, but I had enough sense left in me that I didn't reply. I simply got up and left. I stepped over Doc and ran to my room. Ian was wide awake inside. He must have heard the whole conversation. He sat up and I ran towards him, sobbing.
He lay back down with me still in his arms, and I told him what had happened, including all the jealousy I felt towards Wanda. He said nothing, except, "It'll be alright, Lex." Normally I would have yelled at him, asking him if that was all he could say, and why he wouldn't agree with me. But I was too tired, now, so I just cried while he held me, and eventually I fell asleep.
So that's it. Tell me what you thought, and if you have any ideas. This was a pretty long chapter, so hopefully it will satisfy you for a while. Oh, whoops I forgot. Disclaimer: I do not own the Host. I only own the character Lexi. I know, late much? Oh well, I'll write ASAP, promise! See ya!