Chapter 5

Dean was floating. Floating on the open seas. No, wait... there was no water. He was floating in the air. Floating? No, flying. Falling!

"The plane's crashing!" he cried, trying to reach out and grab hold of something. He didn't understand at first why he couldn't, but then he realized that his hands were tied. He thrashed around and cried out for help, but no one answered or came to his aid. Falling... falling... Why was it taking so long? Why hadn't they hit the ground yet? God, if only they could hit the ground, it would all be over.

"Dean? Hey! Dean."

He felt someone shake his shoulder, and suddenly the plane levelled out and he went back to floating again. He tried to turn his head to see who it was, but the movement just made the plane tilt and sway. He closed his eyes and groaned, trying again to grab something to hold onto.

"Hey, it's okay," the voice said as he felt a hand grip his in a strong handshake. "I'm right here."

Dean thought he recognized Sam's voice, but the rushing wind in his ears was too loud for him to make it out. He tried to speak, but everything was getting heavy and distant again.

"Just go back to sleep, Dean."

Sleep? The last thing he wanted to do was sleep, but he didn't seem to have a choice. Despite his desperate fight to stay awake and defend himself from danger, he kept swimming in and out of consciousness, always aware that someone was there beside him, but unable to speak or acknowledge them. Sometimes this fact alone was enough to cause him inner panic - what if it was someone who meant him harm, and he was just lying there, defenseless and vulnerable? Then he would feel his muscles involuntarily contract as though he were lashing out at something, but the movements never seemed to make any sense, and he couldn't control them no matter how hard he tried.

Eventually the soft voice would break through again, and he would start to calm down. Sometimes he was sure it was Sam, but other times it almost sounded like Dad. Either way, it was good to know they were there. If only they weren't so far away.

At one point, during a brief reprieve from all the floating and falling, Dean got the feeling that he was alone again. The constant presence at his side was gone. He tried to turn his head and open his eyes, but that just brought back the spinning. He was just attempting to get his voice working again when he heard a low murmur from somewhere in the distance.

He strained his ears to hear, but the wind started whipping past his ears again. Over the constant roar, he only managed to make out one word - "...immune."

Immune? What a useless word. That wouldn't help him with the floating and the falling at all. He strained his ears even harder.

"...maybe... spell... demon..."

Demon? Every muscle in Dean's body tensed. Demons and spells? Was that what was happening to him? Was he in Hell again? God, why couldn't he move?

"...Dean's toast."

Dean's anger rose above his fear with those words. He didn't like them, and he certainly didn't like the voice that had said them. It was a female voice - one that he knew well enough to know that it elicited feelings of hatred and revulsion in him, even though his addled mind couldn't put a name or a face to it.

Suddenly it was laughing at him, taunting him, appearing before him with a demonic face to leer at him in his helpless state. He cried out and tried to fight it off, but he was tied to the rack too tightly. That just made him panic all the more, until he was shaking uncontrollably with fear and the need to run away.

He felt the presence at his side again, but this time he knew it was Alastair. He felt the first stab of the blade in his arm, and everything started to go foggy.

And then he was floating again.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Sam withdrew the needle from Dean's arm, thankful to see that the sedative was kicking in so quickly as Dean relaxed out of the convulsions and began to lose consciousness. If he hadn't been freaked out over Dean's condition to begin with, he sure as hell was when the convulsions had started. He sat for a long moment by his brother's side to make sure he was really out this time, and then shot a glare over his shoulder at Ruby as he stood up.

"Keep your voice down," he said quietly as he walked back over to her. "And don't you ever say that about my brother again."

"I'm just trying to be realistic here, Sam," Ruby said in her usual matter-of-fact way. "I know he's your brother, and you'd do anything to save him..."

"Yes," Sam interrupted firmly. "Anything."

Ruby's face softened. "I'm just saying, maybe there isn't anything you can do this time."

Sam clenched his jaw and shook his head. "I can find that kid," he said. "I can get him to tell us what spell he used on those bugs and force him to reverse it."

"You could." Ruby's eyes narrowed as she searched his face. "But you didn't need to call me here if you already had such a fool-proof plan."

"No." Sam fidgeted on the spot and took a deep breath. He hated himself for what he was about to say, but he didn't feel like he had a choice. "Like I said... it makes sense to me that my immunity comes from the demon blood. Those bugs all dropped dead as soon as they took a bite. They probably just didn't get a chance to infect me."

Ruby smiled and nodded knowingly. "So you're saying you want a fresh dose just in case."

Sam flinched at hearing the words said aloud. "He might come at me with more bugs next time, and I just... want to be sure."

Ruby's smile grew.

Sam glared at her in exasperation. "What?"

She shook her head and kept on smiling. "I just find it interesting that you've jumped on the first excuse to have more, yet you still can't say the words."

Sam felt his face contort in disgust. "I'm not jumping on an excuse."

"Sure seems that way from where I'm standing."

Sam bit back an angry retort, knowing she was just trying to bait him into losing his temper so she could claim offense and have something to hold over his head. It had worked too many times in the past for him to fall for it this time. "Are you going to let me have more or not?" he demanded.

Ruby smiled up at him in mock sweetness. "Since you asked so nicely," she said with a smirk. She walked across the room, indicating for Sam to follow her. She lifted her leg to rest her foot on a bale of hay, drew a knife from her boot, and sat down.

Sam hated that he followed her and knelt down in front of her like a puppy begging for a treat. He tried to squash the feeling of excitement and anticipation that he always felt during their little ritual, but he couldn't deny that he enjoyed the high he experienced each time. It wasn't a side of himself that he was proud of, so he tried his best not to let it show, and he certainly didn't let it dictate the decisions he made. Hadn't he resisted the cravings for months after Dean had found out about his powers? He'd only gone back to Ruby to save the world, and he was only taking another dose so soon to save his brother's life.

All these justifications and more ran through his mind as he drank. It was the same thought process he used every time - anything to keep from getting lost in the high or letting the guilt eat him alive. With every mouthful he wanted more, but he forced himself to stay in control and stop after just a few.

Ruby laughed and stroked his hair as he wiped his mouth and licked the remaining blood off his fingers. "Holding back this time?"

It annoyed Sam that he enjoyed her touch at times like this, so he pulled away from her hand and stood up. "I told you, I just needed enough to be sure I'm still immune."

"Right." Ruby put her knife away and rose to her feet. "But you know, it won't be long before you'll be killing demons rather than just exorcising them."

"Not exactly important right now," Sam said irritably.

"Gotcha." Ruby sauntered over to the spot by the door where she'd dumped her bag and picked it up. "So, I guess we're done?"

"No. I need you to stay and keep an eye on Dean while I go after this guy."

Ruby rolled her eyes and gave Sam a peeved look. "What am I, your damn babysitter?"

"You'll be whatever I tell you to be," Sam said as he moved toward her slowly, his hands twitching with the desire to be used.

Ruby stared at him with an expression that seemed partly amused, partly impressed. He knew that deep down she was always a little afraid that one day the pupil would turn on the teacher, and now that he was rapidly approaching the point where he would be able to get by without her, he'd noticed that she was suddenly being more helpful and obedient to him than ever. Most of the time it almost seemed genuine, but he had to admit he'd been milking her loyalty for all it was worth lately. She often seemed flattered by his trust and appreciated that he needed her, and the few times that he'd been manipulative with her he could have sworn she was actually proud of him.

Still, she had no real reason to agree to "babysit" Dean while Sam did all the work towards saving him, so he was fully prepared to use the ace up his sleeve this time and threaten her with spontaneous exorcism if he had to.

Ruby seemed to understand this without needing to be told. She dropped her bag again and gave a nonchalant shrug. "What do you want me to do?"

Sam smiled in relief - after all, he didn't relish the idea of killing his only real ally in the battle against Lilith. "Just make sure he stays sedated," he said, pointing out the morphine and giving her a few brief instructions on dosage. "Oh, and make sure he doesn't see you," he added. "Think you can handle that?"

Ruby rolled her eyes, but nodded. "Just wish I'd brought a magazine to help me pass the time."

Sam gave her a warning look as he moved toward the door. "I'll be as fast as I can," he said. He hesitated then, looking back at Dean as his mind started whirling with second thoughts. If Dean was having convulsions, that meant his condition must be getting pretty bad. Sam hated to leave him like this, but he knew that if he stayed, Dean would die.

Ruby's face softened as she saw the battle going on inside him. "I'll take good care of him. I promise," she said. "Go, Sam."

Sam went.