Why the Humans Never Knew of Aliens
Circa 1800…
One Night in a Forest…
The silent atmosphere was shattered by the roar of an engine and the dark sky was illuminated by a beam of light coming from…a giant ship?
"What the-" Dilbert D. Morbius was just looking for a vampire when he saw it. He hid in the bushes that surrounded the clearing and peeked.
Inside the ship…
"We have arrived!" a deep voice announced.
"Finally!" another voice cheered.
"Come, my friend. Let us make our presence known to the inhabitants and initiate them into the Galactic Order!" the deep voice said and they beamed down to Earth…
"What the- Aliens!" Dilbert exclaimed silently as he saw two humanoid beings floating down the beam.
They finally touched down the ground and Dilbert saw their features. They were blue-green blobs shaped into human-like structure. They had black, pupil-less eyes and each head had an antenna sticking out of them.
"AAAAAAAAAAH!" he charged at them.
"Why, it's one of the species of this planet! We come in peace, fellow being!" one of them said.
"What do you want!?" Dilbert demanded.
"Why, the nerve-"
"Calm down, Kif," the other one said. "We-"
"I bet you want to take over the world!"
"No-"
"You're gonna dissect us, aren't you!?"
"Wha-"
"And enslave us and then make us eat cow poop!"
"That doesn't even make sense!"
"No, you're the one who doesn't make sense, Alien! You're here to take over the world to enslave us and use us as guinea pigs for your experiments! Then…"
1 Hour of Accusing Later…
"And then-"
"Okay, THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU!"
The other one agreed. "The nerve of you earthlings. We thought there were sentient beings in here! It seems that the only thing here is babbling buffoons I now call 'Kwyjibo'!"
The other one nodded.
"You know what? EARTH SUCKS! WE'RE GOING HOME!"
They beamed back to their ship.
"So long, Kwyjibo! I hope we will never see the likes of you in any corners of the Universe again! Have a nice life! Not!" one shouted from a window in the ship. And they were off.
"Wow! I defended the Earth from the Aliens! I'm sure my descendants would be proud of me! Wait till I tell Gazlene! Although she would hit me again for disturbing her from watching our fellow men suffer. Oh well." And he was off to his merry way.
A/N:
Dilbert is an ancestor of Dib, if you don't know. I made him up!
Yeah. This story was inspired by the phrase, "You know what? Earth sucks! I'm going home!". I know that Aliens weren't speculated until the 1900's.
Kwyjibo- a term in The Simpsons. Go check it at Wiki.