Rachel saw Jacob Ben-Israel, or Jew-fro as Noah affectionately referred to him, coming towards her and her breath caught in her throat. She had told both Noah and Finn about her "stalker." Okay, so she may have told Noah a little more than she told Finn, but only because she did not want to upset Finn more than was necessary. And because Noah gets all protective and …whatever, she's only human.
Noah knew about the pictures he had taken of her from outside her window, at least she was 98 percent sure that it was Jacob…she had yet to see proof of his incognito photo shoot.
"Rachel Berry you look-"He didn't get to finish his declaration because he was all of a sudden airborne.
Noah had been walking to class with Mike and Matt when he spotted the 'fro near Rachel's locker. He knew he wasn't allowed to make a scene (Berry's orders), but he couldn't resist rattling the jerk-off's cage a little bit. He grabbed the back of Ben-Israel's shirt and quite literally flung him across the hallway without breaking his stride. He continued walking as if nothing had happened and ignored everyone's reactions, including Rachel's. She could get pissy with him later, it was worth it.
"Dude! What was that?" Mike asked.
"You saw him, he was in my way."
Rachel stood stock still and stared after her "rescuer." A slow approving smile spread across her face.
"So, I guess Puck knows about Jacob." Finn stated from behind her. She jumped a little, not expecting him to be there. Had she not even noticed him?
Later, Rachel sends Noah a text message explaining how Finn saw what had happened with Jacob.
Noah: r u mad?
Berry: no, kind of turned on ;)
Noah: physical violence gets u hot?
Berry: something like that…
Noah: u in trouble wit Hudson?
Berry: no, I said he got in your way.
Noah: y lie?
Yes, he knows he said the very same thing, but this is different. It is.
Berry: he knew.
Noah: im bored wat r u doin?
Berry: talking to you
Noah: go 4 a ride?
Berry: after Finn brings me home?
Noah: ur wit him!? Y r u talking to me?
Berry: yes. He fell asleep and because I want to.
Berry: and for the last time it's w-i-t-h and w-h-a-t
Noah: ur a bad girl. I'll c u 2morrow
Noah: I know how to spell, your highness
Berry: you just know it bugs me.
Berry: no ride?
Noah: wont be past your bedtime?
Berry: u could always pick me up now…
Noah: from prince charming's? am I corrupting u?
Berry: more like sleeping beauty and I hope so. I'll say im walking home. Pick me up around the block on water st
Noah: c u in 5
"I can't believe you're doing this." Noah exclaimed as Rachel launched herself into his truck. He loves watching the process of her tiny, midget body scaling the side of his very large truck.
"What? I wanted to walk; it is an exceptionally beautiful evening. You saw me and offered me a ride."
"Is that your story and you're sticking to it?"
"Oh stop!" she smacks his arm, "I was so bored! All he ever does is sleep! It's getting really old."
"Really?"
"Really what? It's getting old?"
"No. The sleeping. His mom is most-likely working and you guys have the house to yourselves and he…sleeps? Has he seen you?"
"I KNOW! Right? I even wore special underwear! Thank you."
"Let's see." He smirks and turns the light on over us.
Without really thinking, she gets up on her knees and turns her back to him. She thinks she hears him whisper holy shit to himself. She flips her skirt up and pushes it back down so quickly all he saw was a flash of hot pink…mesh maybe?
He starts cracking up, "not exactly what I meant, but I'll take it."
She's laughing right along with him, "You have to work for more."
"No wonder Finn's so tired."
"Hey! I do not even get the chance to tire him out!"
"Feel free to put me to sleep anytime." He says as genuinely as he can.
"Oh, I should feel that freeness, should I?"
"Hey! Don't be mean, I saved your life today!"
"You made me answer questions today, thank you very much!"
"Like what?"
Rachel puts on her best "Finn face" and deepens her voice, "Like, 'so Rach, why does Puck suddenly have an interest in the kid that's bothering you?"
"THAT'S your "Finn?!" he laughs incredulously. "That was Ernie from Sesame Street!"
"Shut up! Your "Finn" is better?"
He doesn't even skip a beat. "Um…so Rach? When you left my house? After I didn't fuck you? Did you fuck Puck? Hey, that rhymes…anyway… you totally can you know…I'm actually, like, really okay with it…and since I'm being a pussy, I figure he should, um, step in and um…you know."
"Wow. He would totally say that! Do you practice that?! That's a little scary, Puckerman." Sometimes he's not sure he really likes the fact that she has mastered sarcasm.
"Yeah right after I jerk off with his underwear."
"Ew!" she slaps him again.
"He's your lo-verrr."
"Stop it!!!" She clasps her hands over her ears.
"What's the matter, Ernie? You don't like when I talk about your lover?" She hates the word "lover." It creeps her out in so many ways. She really regrets the fact that he knows this. He called some woman a c-word while driving once and Rachel didn't even blink an eye, which he found odd. She informed him that word didn't bother her; the only word she despised was "lover" and the term "making love." His response was, 'I think I'm in love.' It was during that same car ride that he proposed marriage to her after finding out she knows what a 'crow-hop' is. She respectfully declined.
He pulls up to her house and reaches over and grabs her hands off of her ears. "LOVER!"
She starts slapping his chest over and over, "OW! Berry knock it off! I saved your life, for Christs sake!"
"I guess I owe you one." She relents.
"One? I just drove your ass home!"
"I showed you my underwear!"
"Not really!"
Before he can say anything else, she jumps out of the truck and skips up her driveway a little, turns around to face Noah, making sure he is watching her, he is, and pulls her skirt up, counts to five, and lets it drop back down before turning and going inside.
His eyes are beginning to blur they have been open and focusing on the same spot for so long. "well, shit" he mutters to himself before fighting the urge to scale the wall to her bedroom and instead drives off.
Finn's a fucking moron.
She checks her phone when she gets to her room. One new text message from Noah:
Sweet dreams Ernie
She falls asleep with a smile on her face.