"Domon!" yelled Mrs. Kasshu to her 10-year old son, " Come inside, your father wants to talk to you!"
"Aw, Mom...", grumbled a young Domon, walking into the house, " I was just about to find the pirate treasure!"
"I'm sure you were, honey, but you can look for treasure later. Right now, you need to see your father."
"Sure, whatever...", mumbled Domon.
He walked into the living room and saw that his dad and super cool big bro, Kyoji, were sitting on the couch, waiting for him. He sat down adjacent from them and they looked at him and smiled. Domon nervously smiled back, wondering if he was in trouble. A few moments later, his mother joined them and sat next to Kyoji.
" Tell me, Domon...", said Dr. Kasshu, " What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Domon thought for a second and came up with the best answer he could.
"A GUNDAM!"
"Do you mean a Gundam fighter?", Dr. Kasshu asked, confused.
" No, I want to be a Gundam! I want to fly around in space and beat up things and shoot foreign people!POW, POW, POW!", Domon shouted, pretending to shoot a gun.
"You can't ACTUALLY be a Gundam, Domon.", laughed Kyoji, " Those are just mobile suits with people inside piloting them."
"Oh...", said Domon, discouraged, " But...they're shaped like people..."
"Yes, Domon, they are shaped like people," his mom said cheerfully, " but they're not alive; you can't grow up to be one"
"Oh..."
Dr. Kasshu gave a frustrated sigh. "You see, son, this is exactly the reason why I wanted to talk to you today. You have no direction; you spend all your time playing childish games without giving any thought to what you want to do with your life..."
"But Dad!", shouted Domon, indignant, " I'm only ten-years old, kids my age don't have to worry about things like that!"
His father stood up, slightly angered by his son's outburst, "That's no excuse, your brother knew that he wanted to be a scientist when he was just six years old and look at him now! He graduated top of his class and plans to help me with my research!"
"Ah...well..." murmured Domon, " I guess I'll be a scientist too, like you and Kyoji".
When his family heard "I'll be a scientist" come out of Domon's mouth, they burst into uncontrollable laughter. Kyoji and Dr. Kasshu made no attempt to hide their amusement while his mother tried to stifle it at first then gave up half way through, joining her son and husband in their humiliating cackles. Domon sunk into his seat, wishing he could dissolve into couch.
"Oh boy...", sighed Dr. Kasshu, wiping away a tear, " That was rich, but seriously Domon, you can't be a scientist."
"Why not?"
"Well, sweetie," began his mother, acting rather uncomfortable, " You're what we call...special."
"Yup, I sure am!", said Domon with pride.
"She means 'special' as in stupid, buttmunch.", Kyoji said bluntly.
"Kyoji!" their mother shouted.
"No, no, honey, don't sugarcoat it," said Dr. Kasshu, comforting his wife, " Yes son, Kyoji's right; you're about the dumbest boy I've ever seen. That any of us have seen. At first we weren't quite sure what to think, but after you failed that open book spelling quiz, we were sure."
Domon began to tear up and sniffle.
"Now don't worry, Domon, there's a lot of things a boy like you can do for a living.", he reassured.
"Like what?", asked Domon, almost afraid of the answer.
"Well, since you love to beat up other kids so much, you could grow up to be a great fighter--"
Domon smiled and wiped his nose.
"--so we're sending you to live with an old man and his horse for ten years, in complete and total isolation."
"WHAT?!"
" Miles away from civilization, with only a slightly crazy old man...and his horse"
"I'm pretty sure he's not married either, so it's just going to be you and him and only you and him...and his horse."
Domon finally understood the phrase "fuck my life".