A/N: My new favorite Glee quote: "Get ready black girl from glee club who's name I can't remember right now, Puckster's about to make you his."

"Noah, please sit still." She berates him as she pulls her notebook out of her bag.

"This is seriously lame." He's tapping his foot and drumming a beat on the piano bench.

"I have to do it! The assignment is to interview your peers."

"What is this for again?" He starts kicking her shoe.

"The yearbook. PLEASE STOP THAT! We aren't going to use everyone's answers…just the ones that are good and…relevant." He grabs the pen from her hand and starts drawing a penis on her notebook.

"…and you chose me to interview?" He asks incredulously. She snatches the pen from him and hits his hand with it.

"Of course I chose you! Don't I always?" She beams at him and he rolls his eyes.

"Alright, what's the first question?"

"What is your favorite class and why?"

"Lame."

"NOAH!"

"Take your shirt off and I'll answer." He winks at her.

"We are in the choir room!"

"Yeah, why are we in here again? Can't we do this later when we get home? Someone might hear us…"

"We are in here so you won't try to have sex with me." He starts cracking up.

"Seriously? You're the one I'm worried about. I'm not the one who gets a hard on every time we might get caught!"

She ignores this. "Favorite class and why?"

"Anatomy. It's awesome." He grabs her boob quickly before she can swat him away. She punches his arm.

"You don't take anatomy! Be serious!"

"Okay, sorry. Um…any kind of science is cool I guess."

"Okay good. Was that so hard?" She smiles as she writes his answer down. "Next question-"

"Why are you recording this and writing it down?"

"I'm nothing if not thorough, Mr. Puckerman."

"What's your favorite class?" He pokes her arm repeatedly.

"This is not my interview. What is your favorite memory from High School, so far?"

"Slushy in Rachel Berry's face!" She glares at him before hitting him over the head with her notebook.

"I hate you!"

"That's not what you said last night…or this morning."

"Very original. Pick something else."

"Licking your pussy with the frogs." He states matter-of-factly and nods.

"Noah!"

"Bending you over with the frogs?"

"Noah, I cannot tell Mrs. Toker that you tricked me into the Science wing closet by telling me we were going to free the frogs before they were dissected-"

"-and then I made you come so hard that you literally fell over and knocked the frogs over and we had to catch them all."

"I can't believe I actually fell for that, those poor frogs." She pouts.

He's laughing at her and she's getting more and more frustrated by the second. "Hey! I did free those frogs! Everyone in my sister's class got a new pet."

"That's true…" She relents with a sweet little smile. She was so touched when he did that he got a wicked blow job the next morning on the way to school. "I need a real answer."

He pretends to think and then points at her. "Fingering you on the bus!"

"You're unbelievable…" She shakes her head.

"Oh! I know! After that one game…remember that? With the thigh highs? Fuck, Berry, I'm getting hard." He starts rubbing himself and grabs her leg to pull her closer on the piano bench and whispers, "You let me fuck you right there in the parking lot…with those heels on…"

She rolls her eyes and lets out an exasperated sigh and writes Winning Sectionals, he shrugs his shoulders, "That was cool too."

"Most embarrassing moment."

"Winning Sectionals."

"You just said that was cool."

"Because singing or anything related to it gives you lady wood." He shrugs.

"Remind me again why I put up with you?!"

"I thought we weren't allowed to get freaky in here?"

"MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT!"

"Calm down crazy-face…"

"Noah I swear to God I will become a born again virgin if you don't-"

"Coming before you could get my pants off in the locker room."

She laughs a little, "That was kind of embarrassing." He shoots her a quick glare. "We should probably stop hooking up at school…"

"Fuck no! It's the only reason why I come! Pun intended."

"You don't have any embarrassing moments, do you?"

"Nope." He pops the p.

"I hate you."

"Want me to make one up?"

"No…it's just not fair."

"Want me to embarrass myself? I will. I'll go right out in that hallway and…"

"And what? Anything you do will make you even more of a…a…badass."

"Mmmm…say it again, Berry."

"I'm serious. You have no idea what it's like to be constantly humiliated!"

Kurt presses the STOP button on the recorder that he found under the piano bench and looks around at his fellow glee clubbers.

Finn left after the first 30 seconds or so. Everyone just assumed he couldn't handle listening to his ex girlfriend and ex best friend talk about their very interesting sex life.

"So that's what happened to those frogs?" Tina wonders aloud.

Just then Rachel and Noah walk into the choir room and are met with the sight of the New Directions, minus Finn, standing around the piano and staring at them. They look at each other questioningly and then back to their audience.

"Sup?" Noah asks.

Kurt steps forward and hands the mini recorder with the gold sticker on it to Rachel with a satisfied smile.

"Where did you find this?" Rachel looks like she may throw up.

"Under the bench. You must have dropped it."

"Did you listen to it?" Everyone else is either trying not to laugh or looking everywhere but at Rachel or Noah or both.

Noah just rolls his eyes, "Of course they did, Rach."

She turns and storms out of the room. Noah addresses the small crowd, "Seriously guys? Not fuckin cool." Before he turns to leave the room and find Rachel.

"Thank you!" Brittany blurts out before he can get his foot out of the door. He turns to look at her and she shrugs and says, "I like frogs." He can't help but chuckle a little before he leaves to go.

Noah: where the hell r u?

Seriously, he has checked everywhere.

Berry: home

Okay, so not everywhere.

Noah: comin over

She knows something is up when she hears the doorbell. He usually just walks in…

When she opens the door to reveal Kurt standing on her porch she is, well, shocked may be putting it lightly. Noah is standing behind him.

Kurt can apparently sense that she is about to explode her crazy all over him, so he holds up a hand to stop her. "I'm sorry. I found the recorder and played it for everyone…although no one was complaining-"

Noah smacks the back of Kurt's head. Kurt rolls his eyes and continues, "Anyway…"He glares at Noah and then looks at Rachel. "It was my fault. It was my idea. Do your worst…"

"You're forgiven. Please leave." Noah's mouth drops open and he stares at Rachel like she's lost her mind. He does that a lot. Kurt just smiles at Noah and says, "Take me home now."

"Berry! Are you shitting me?! If I pulled that shit you would cut my dick off!"

"He's not worth it. Please take him home."

"Can I come back?" Noah asks.

"Of course, just get him out of my site." Kurt rolls his eyes.

"Why do I get the feeling this ends badly for me?" Noah asks on his way back to his truck.

"I hope it does." That earns him another smack upside the head. "Whatever, mazel tov, just try and keep it in your pants while the rest of us are present. The bus? Seriously?"

"Yeah that was awesome." This time Kurt smacks Noah upside the head and immediately realizes what he's done and fears for his life. Noah just laughs at him and gives him a playful shove which sends Kurt flying into a bush.