1001 NE, Spring
"I would speak with Morgana Sedai," said Merlin. The Sea Folk woman was before him, her fingers and face bare of jewellery. He could see small holes in her ears and nose, suggesting that this was new. Guin, he thought her name was; or something very like it.
She slipped through the tent flaps and he waited. They would be moving in again in the morning.
This past week Merlin made sure to be the first to leave the meetings, using saidin to distract Arthur from noticing, causing someone to trip, or a goblet to fall, just when Arthur would have noticed his departure. He let the bond slip from time to time, to get a sense of where Arthur was; when it happened he felt a shift in Arthur's attention, a feeling of determination coming through into the back of his mind. Merlin always moved quickly after that; being cornered by an angry High Lord was something he wished to avoid.
"Morgana Sedai will see you now," said the Sea Folk woman--came Guin's soft-spoken voice. He nodded at her gratefully, a small smile, and went within with a small feeling of trepidation. Although the White Tower had apparently ceased holding any men they found who could channel, they could change their mind at any time. They had kidnapped the Dragon Reborn, after all, under the guise of peacekeeping.
"I did wonder when you would come," said Morgana Sedai.
Merlin sat in the nearest chair, a folding affair he had to carefully place himself into. He could see Morgana's chair had a slight angle; war camp living was not kind.
"I didn't know what it was I did until well afterwards," he said. Morgana showed no surprise at his outburst. "I've now learned the weave and taught it to others; it took me a little time remember it. Asha'man now use it with their wives, so they can let them know they're safe." He didn't mention the Aes Sedai storming the Black Tower, or of how they were caught. Asha'man had found ways of using the bond, and could command their Aes Sedai to do the things they wanted them to; at least, sometimes.
Morgana smiled at Guin when she handed her a small porcelain cup of tea. Merlin eyed it; Sea Folk work, likely brought with her when she joined Morgana. He wondered at her presence again, for she was clearly not a maidservant, and the Sea Folk lived their whole lives on water.
"Can the bond be used to compel?" Merlin asked.
She shot him a sharp, severe look. "Put that thought from your mind, Asha'man. Compulsion is a dark, twisted thing, and to pervert the Warder bond, even one such as yours, with this! No. Some sisters may use suggestions through the bond, to keep their Warder from running to their certain death, but never to Compel. If you choose to try this on Arthur, to learn the manner of it, you need not worry of the Dark One laying his hand out on you; for I will put a knife into you myself."
"Is it possible to do so without knowing you're doing so?" he asked, shame still making him feel ill.
Morgana looked at him over her teacup, measuring him. "No," she said finally. "A bond, left alone, will let you know if your Warder is in health, and how he is feeling at that moment. Most Sisters find this a little too ... intimate ... and so the bond is muffled. Once set, it is an unconscious thing. Any touches to the bond to make a Warder more biddable must be the result of conscious thought, with a touch of Spirit. Muffling the bond is not a thing of the Source, only a mental trick of privacy, and the only thing to affect the bond without the One Power."
Something deep within Merlin relaxed. He had been worried ever since he'd first masked the bond that he was altering Arthur's behaviour in some way. When he'd first arrived, he'd almost expected to have been banished to the very far edge of camp, possibly with a crossbow trained upon him. He'd done the Lord Dragon's bidding, but he'd remembered the deep anger he'd felt from Arthur those years ago, filled with betrayal and loss, a bitter feeling sitting in his mind before he'd hit upon the trick of masking Arthur.
"Lord Arthur was most angry with you then," she said. "I was taken to my bed for a day after you sliced my weaves. You didn't know how to weave saidin?"
Merlin shook his head. Angry with him, then?
Guin fussed with her skirts, and Morgana placed a hand upon her wrist, gentle. "Arthur went after you with his men; you went to Illian. He believed you had turned traitor."
"It was the nearest I could think to go--Far Madding is no place friendly to channellers, and further north is only closer to the White Tower. There was only west."
"I saved both of your lives, as Guin saved mine. If Arthur had continued to follow you to Illian and executed you as a traitor, Arthur would have died." Morgana twisted strands of her shawl's fringe as she spoke. "Because I have sworn the Three Oaths I was able to convince him you were not in Illian informing the King of the High Lords' plans. By the Oaths he knew my words true. I told him of the bond, and what it meant. Your bonding him that day saved his life, Asha'man; he would have died on the battlefield, for I could do nothing until he had the strength of a Warder."
"Why? Why did you convince him to let me go?"
"I sometimes can Foretell," she said, her expression inwards and far away. "You, and Arthur, are needed at Tarmon Gai'don."
"You could have had me taken to the White Tower. I could have been safe, shielded against saidin, until needed at the Last Battle," said Merlin, conscious of this having been the White Tower's plan for the Dragon Reborn.
Morgana looked at him, and slowly shook her head. "Even the White Tower is not always the safest place to be. I had heard rumour of the Dragon proclaiming himself at Falme. Three False Dragonsin so few years! There was always possibility, were it ever slim, that you were the Dragon Reborn, and I could not countenance the end of the Wheel of Time because of my decision."
Merlin was shocked; his mind spun around her words, around the possibility that she had thought he was the Dragon.
"I did tell Arthur of my thoughts, and of my knowledge of the bond. For a short while he thought he was tied to the Dragon Reborn." A small smile hovered on her lips. "This al'Thor showed himself at Falme; the very reason for having stayed my hand. Lord Arthur knew the day you arrived at the Black Tower. He has had two years of knowing himself bonded to you, Asha'man. There is a way to release the bond," she added.
"There is?" said Merlin, deeply shocked. There had been no mention of bond releasing at the Black Tower. No wives there had fallen mad when there bonded husbands died, not like what happened with a Warder when an Aes Sedai died. None of the careful questioning of Aes Sedai had revealed this.
"Aes Sedai seldom discuss bonding. It is possible, but it takes much time, and only in the rarest of occasions does it occur."
He pressed her for more information, but attempting to learn anything from saidar was akin to teaching a fish to fly. He couldn't see their weaves, and often, from what teaching he'd seen from the bonded Aes Sedai, their ways of weaving was so different there could be no direct translation to saidin.
Merlin left the tent, with his mind in a whirl, the information Morgana had imparted on bond release sinking in. He fell into a confident stride designed to keep others out of his way. He heard someone follow him into his tent and he turned, words of dismissal fading on his lips.
"High Lord." Merlin stood his ground.
"Did Morgana answer to your satisfaction?"
"It was a-- an enlightening conversation. Who is the Sea Folk woman?"
Arthur pulled back. "Ah, Guin; I believe her to be Morgana's companion, her heart-friend. Morgana was out by Almoth Plain and she had some problems with Seanchan; as you know, they collar women who channel. Morgana is not forthcoming of that time. Guin helped her escape. That is all she says of it." He looked around the small tent. "Have you any wine?"
Merlin looked at him warily. Arthur's behaviour had changed since that evening a week ago; there was a loosening of his attitude, a willingness to talk to Merlin, when Merlin hadn't managed to slip away in time. If the bond wasn't him influencing him ... Merlin let the thought slide away.
"Morgana says this can be released," said Merlin abruptly. "Sire, the weaves for this are unfamiliar to me, but I will find it. I would not subject you to this bond."
Arthur went over to the pitcher and poured himself a drink, movements quick and stiff. He sat on the small stool and drank deeply, then twisted the goblet about in his hands, watching him steadily. "Morgana informed me of this possibility, years ago."
Merlin blinked. "You knew of this? You knew of this when I joined the camp?" Arthur had known. He touched his throat.
Arthur watched his hand when he dropped it back to his side. "Morgana told me everything she knew of the Warder bond two years ago, Merlin. She believed it would not be different for us despite us both being men. Time enough has passed that it appears it isn't."
"I'll study the weaves, my Lord." Merlin waved his hands, gesturing emptily. "It may take some time, but it will be done."
"There is more to this bond, Merlin, than embarrassing moments when I am amongst my men and you are thinking of my hands on you," said Arthur.
Merlin felt shivery with lust, with a memory of Arthur pressing him down onto a soft bed and touching him until he begged for release. He flamed with embarrassment and arousal, and with it grew angry. "I would not subject you to further embarrassment, High Lord," he spat.
"Now that would be a pity," Arthur murmured, shifting off the stool and coming closer. "Enough of this 'High Lord'; I give you leave to use my name." He placed his fingers along where Merlin had touched, then pulled him in close for a rough kiss.
Merlin fell into it with a gasp, grabbing at Arthur. His anger fading and arousal came over him in a wave. Being this close made it hard to keep the bond masked. He could feel Arthur's physical arousal reflected in his mind, and with that awareness the masking fell away. He, or Arthur, dropped to the ground, pulling the other down also. Awareness of who was doing what to whom disappeared; there was only a riot of lust and arousal, desperate need, and then he was coming, behind his closed eyes he could see a bright burst of stars.
He came back to find himself pressed into the rugs below Arthur. He could feel Arthur's was contentment, and his hand slid down Merlin's side. Merlin pushed at him, a sick feeling clawing at him.
"Morgana didn't tell me everything about the bond, I see," said Arthur as he rolled to let Merlin move away. He looked satisfied, sweat slicking his hair down to his head, face relaxed and eyes heavy.
Merlin turned to him and finally, finally, he masked the bond again. Arthur's eyes sharpened and he raised himself up on his elbows. "You didn't release it on purpose."
"No." Merlin found his breeches and stepped into them, lacing them up loosely. "I'll look into the weaves."
"You don't understand," said Arthur. "These past two years I've had more strength, more energy to fight, and needed less sleep than any man on the field. Being a Warder sharpens the fight. I will take every advantage over the Shadow, Merlin. Every battle we fight which does not involve the Shadow takes away men needed to win Tarmon Gai'don. There are compensations."
Merlin stood rigid with shock, staring at Arthur. "You ... you want this." He couldn't say more; words jumbled in his mouth, saidin, history, the Stone of Tear. "But. You're a High Lord of Tear."
Arthur snorted and twisted to grab for his shirt. Merlin watched his smooth flank flex and thought about running his hands over him, thought of having done that just a short while ago. Arthur got dressed speedily and stamped into his boots. When dressed he turned back to Merlin and handed him his black coat.
"We are now in service to the Lord Dragon, Merlin. Asha'man. The Dragon Reborn invaded the Stone of Tear, has conquered most of countries or made them his ally. We no longer have the luxury of ignoring those who can channel, we can no longer send women off to the White Tower and be rid of the men in the dark. You and I are going to Tarwin's Gap, and what comes--I will take any advantage against the Dark One."
Merlin nodded slowly. He felt like Arthur had pulled a rug out from under him, repeatedly; he had fled to Illian thinking he had only days to live, and returned with the certainty that Arthur would do his utmost to keep him far away. This was something he had not expected even when Min foretold that Arthur would save his life.