Being immortal has brought me nothing but misery. People say you can make your life be the way you want it to be, and that you have a choice. They're lies. I have made some terrible choices in life that I wish more than anything I could take back, but I can't...

It's also said that all the garbage and pain is sort of beautiful and poetic, and is all a part of the love. It's not. It's garbage and pain and it's not healthy. I am a strong believer in the myth that there is that one special person out there for you and that when you find them hold on to them. But when you lose them it's hard to move on. It is. I don't have eyes for anyone anymore. My name is Mina Emilia Kaligaris, and this is my story.

I was human, seventeen and madly in love with a vampire. Bradley Moore. At the time I was very aware of vampires, his brother and good friend were vampires, and I was happy to call them friends. All accept Bradley drank human blood, not from me of course, and I was okay with that.

Bradley did not approve of the way his brother lived. His friend, Sianna, drank human blood from blood banks, she would never kill a person. Adrian on the other hand kills people, he also hates Bradley. He always said he was gonna kill me and him... but I could see under all his testosterone, deep down he had a heart, it was just hard to bring out because it was broken.

Bradley had always told me that he would rather kill himself than drink human blood. He was on a strict animal blood only diet. I loved him for that. He was so protective and caring of me, but he could also be fun and crazy. He was and still is the best part of my life. I loved him so much, I couldn't even imagine life without him...

Through time I grew closer to Adrian, his heart started to heal slowly and in dire need he would show his true colors. He did not have a "dark" soul, as many said, he just needed to let someone close enough to turn on the light. That one person who cared enough was me. Although Bradley and Adrian "hated" each other their bond grew stronger as Adrian healed. And I saw Adrian as a true brother, I loved him like that. Yet I was "in" love with Bradley.

It was at this point in time that I would feel my last smile, my last laugh, every ounce of light inside, for soon it all disappeared... A pack of about 20 nomadic vampires were after Bradley and Adrian. They claimed that the Moore brothers were the reason behind a lot of torture, pain and conflict a long time ago and they wanted revenge. They went into fighting. Most of the nomads were newborns, created to build their army. This made it easy for Adrian and Bradley as they were highly trained and knew what to expect from newborns. It was the creator they had trouble with.

Adrian was distracted fighting two of the last newborns when Bradley went after the creator. He chased the man through the woods, under estimating the man Bradley went to rip his throat without a second thought... big mistake! The man had been around a long time too, he was as highly trained and knowledgeable as the Moore's were. The man fought Bradley to the ground, and Bradley had lost all his energy faster than the man living on a special diet which makes him that much weaker than carnivores. I, being human, was told to stay at home and keep the door locked... what idiots or thinking I would do that! Of course I got there just in time. I saw Bradley on the ground, and I knew I could get close enough to the vampire to stab him with my wooden stake, right in the heart and kill him before he even thought about hurting my one true love.

I slowly creped behind the trees and got close enough. BAM! I stabbed him... although I didn't quite get him in the heart, it was enough to wound and paralyse him for a while. He looked at me slowly through his torturing eyes, and started choking, then his knees buckled from under him and he feel to the ground in silence. I ran to Bradley, still on the ground. I looked into his eyes and it pained me. I could see how hurt and weak he was... I didn't know what to do or how to help him. He kept telling me to run, to run away from here and the danger, but I vowed I would not leave him.

I could tell Bradley was hurt badly, I knew he would not be able to fight this for his energy back. This is the first mistake I ever made, I had no idea at the time that saving my love would destroy it. I looked down at his bloody face, and slowly handed him my wrist. He refused to take it. "I will not hurt you! Run Mina, Run!" he repeated over. I would not listen I shoved my wrist into his mouth and he could not resist the temptation. His sharp teeth ripped through my skin, and I felt a throbbing pain from my wrist as he sucked the blood out of me. This was soon followed by a nausea feeling, light headed, loss of blood. I felt weaker and weaker. "For Bradley" I said over in my head.

It was a success in some ways. Bradley and Adrian beat the nomadic, including their creator, this is when everything changed for better and for worse...

Not long after Bradley started acting different... He was much more perky than usual, even Adrian noticed a difference. We asked multiple times if he was okay, and every time we got "You guys need to relax. I'm fine! Seriously." We could both see that he was trying to convince himself of this at the same time as us. Day by day he suddenly grew angrier, and more stressed, he even found it hard to make love to me. We finally found out that he had become addicted to human blood. He was constantly robbing hospitals for their blood banks, he had trouble being around people who were bleeding, and at the same time he was becoming an alcoholic. He claimed that alcohol made the cravings less painful, you could tell it just made him even more violent and drunk.

I was getting fed up of the way he was acting, it wasn't him. Bradley was nice, cared about the lives of others, unselfish. The Bradley I knew today was definitely the opposite. I went over to his house to confront him. I remember walking up the stairs to his room, and feeling odd. Like in some way I was saying goodbye, it was an uncomfortable feeling...

I entered his room and he had obviously been drinking again, he was snarling and hissing. And punching the walls violently, his eyes were a dark, raven black. Cold and selfish.

"Bradley, babe. We need to talk."

"About what? About how I've been "acting so weird", Mina? This is who I am now! Your blood only brought out this monster inside of me! Do you not understand that? Are you an idiot!?" he was obviously highly frustrated now.

I started crying and shouting harshly. "This is NOT you Bradley...!" I broke off in tears, and started walking over slowly to him.

He backed away. "You won't hurt me". I whispered.

"Mina! You don't understand I will hurt you! I want to kill you! I want to rip your throat off and drain your body of every ounce of blood! How can you not get that you idiot!?" he smashed a glass vase off the table and shouted the last word. He leaned against a table facing away from me, with edgy breathing patterns. I wasn't hurt by what he said, I knew it was the blood talking.

"You don't mean that" I refused to believe it.

That's when he snapped. "Get it into your head! I want to kill you!" he shouted at the top of his lungs and I would here a growl in his voice, as anger made him hungry. He threw himself across the room and slammed my body into the wall, his arms ready to attack me. At this moment I was scared.

I looked at his face, his eyes black, and his teeth sharp and ready to bite. He looked like a vicious animal. But the scariest part was that this time when I looked into his eyes... I couldn't see him anymore. The Bradley I knew was so berried underneath this new person, he was lost forever ...

"Who are you?" I whispered in disgust. He suddenly realised what he had done, and what he was about to do. I could tell this frightened him. His face changed from a vicious animal ready to attack it's pray, to my loving boyfriend who was losing himself. Bradley relaxed, lent his head on my shoulder and started weeping.

"Mina, I'm so sorry babe. This is all so hard. I love you so much".

I ran my fingers through his short brown hair, comforting him. "Shh. It's okay... I love you to," and without another word I stabbed the wooden stake into his leg. He reacted to the pain the same way the nomadic vampire did, only this time it was much more torturing to watch. As he started choking and begging for my help, I stood there watching him fall. Battling the tears of guilt.