Flirt by xErised

Solace

There was something stirring inside him, something that made him feel like laughing and crying all at the same time.

Draco traced a finger around the rim of the bowl, the tread of his finger jerky and uncertain. Draco had wanted to throw it away without a second glance, but there had been something holding him back. He knew that the soup was different, knew it the second he flipped the lid open. Oh no, Harry hadn't just bought it from the usual shops, the brunette had actually made it himself, judging by the richer aroma and the deluge of herbs and mushrooms.

It was strange how Draco was reluctant you'll drink it slowly, carefully, cherishing every mouthful because this is the last time that anyone would ever do something so touching for you, Draco, you made it this way, it was you- to drink the soup.

Every whiff of soup sent his resistance fraying at the ends, and Draco glowered darkly, slamming the lid down on the bowl. He opened a drawer and took out Harry's tie that he had rescued that day during the photo shoot. Grey eyes landed sadly on the spot where Harry had just occupied minutes before. He didn't know why he still kept it, it was absolutely silly, it had been so preposterously… absurd…

This was the tie that Harry had worn to Pansy's wedding.

"-you're gorgeous. And tomorrow I'll be sober but you'll still be gorgeous."

That was all he needed, that single trigger, that lone memory that unlocked an overloaded dam of feelings within Draco, every moment, every minute of those two months, drawing him back to places, emotions that he couldn't forget no matter how much he tried to, and there they were, that slideshow of happiness dancing around his skull-

"-let me take care of you, please?"

because it's always so warm, so lovely whenever someone says 'I'll take care of you' instead of simply 'take care'-

A spasm of longing rippled through Draco's insides, he was crippling himself with his indifference, and he knew that if he let this end, it would simply bleed away into the inky, black, cheerless night that he drowned himself in. Panic was suddenly increasing, beating its frenzied tempo on his thudding heart, this sharp, indefinable rhythm that sent everything clicking into place.

Draco let out a deranged snarl and snatched up the proposal that was drenched in ink. The blond pawed furiously at the proposal, his control all frazzled into confetti. He had spent hours on it, perfecting it, but now, it was ruined, it was destroyed utterly and completely just by a single careless mistake, a single careless slip of the tongue, and he had no way to redo it, no other option left but to rip it apart into pieces-

With that, the ex-Slytherin grasped both corners of the parchment roughly and tore it into jagged shreds and harsh scraps, his face twisted into a frightful expression of anger and abandon.

every time we talk-

The mutilated fragments of the proposal fluttered forlornly to the floor and Draco clamped the back of his hand to his mouth, muffling a sob of dismay. Yes, the proposal was demolished, but this thing with Harry, yes, it was bruised, it was damaged, but no, it wasn't dead yet, it wasn't the end yet, unless you let him go-

every time we laugh-

The life that he had forced upon himself was grey, cold and antiseptic, this stumbling block to communication debilitating him, he didn't want to keep his feelings jailed and under lock and key anymore, and there were these emotions trampolining all over the place, this full constellation of regret, melancholy, distress, apprehension and agitation swirling, raging, thundering through him like an out-of-control maelstrom. Draco could count the number of times that he had ever felt like this on one hand, and yes, he didn't know what it meant, he didn't know what any of it meant, but it had to mean something, something-

every time we kiss-

He didn't want this to be the sort of dream that slithered away whenever the cold ghosts of morning came around, he didn't want it to disappear without a trace, something that he couldn't claw back no matter how hard he tried, he didn't want all of those beautiful moments tainted and smeared by this night, by the cruel words that they had mindlessly flung at each other in fits of fury and animosity-

I fall-

If they accidentally stumbled upon each other in their everyday life in the future, would they simply avert their eyes, nod, and pretend that nothing had happened? If they said goodbye tonight, if Draco didn't do anything to salvage I need some kind of proof that it's real- it, yes, nothing, nothing, nothing would remain-

"-what if you saw Potter with another bloke on the streets-"

"No, no, no!" Draco shouted, each protest escalating with the desperation mounting within him. He burrowed his fingers I won't let that happen, I won't let it all go to waste because he's mine, he's mine and he'll always be mine, always, always!- through his hair, tugging and yanking at his blond tendrils. His face was crumpling, deflating as though all the fight and obstinacy had gone out of him-

just a-

That was the tipping point.

His inhibitions were being sapped away as desolation and heartbreak hurtled to replace it. With a crazed, animalistic shriek tearing from his throat, Draco swept these won't add to my happiness, none of this!- all of the files and documents off his table, and then they were falling over like a snake of dominoes with a resounding crash, scattering and all scrambled up on the ground like a sea of passionless, deadened black and white.

little-

Draco's heart was pumping fast and hard, his shoulders heaving with every breath that he took as he stood in the very middle of the jumbled hurricane of his paperwork.

bit-

It was strange how he suddenly felt so liberated.

"Harry," Draco whispered. There was this manic urgency stealing over the blond, this impetuous, pressing need to get to the other man before he left once and for all-

harder.

"Harry," he said again, but it was louder, with more force, with more emotion behind the brunette's name. "Harry, please don't leave me, wait, wait!" As if released from a spell, Draco's limbs jolted into life, and the blond ruthlessly kicked his way out of the fortress of paperwork that surrounded him. Galvanized into action, the blond grabbed something from the devastations of his office, dashed out ferociously and jabbed wildly at the buttons of the lift, cursing the Anti-Apparation ward placed at his workplace. Draco bit down hard on his knuckle, berating himself for being so foolish, so stupid. His grey eyes were brimming with remorse as blistering regret barreled its painful way through his body.

The lift finally arrived, and Draco rushed in, not daring to bring his hopes up just in case Harry was really, truly gone. The doors of the lift opened just in time for Draco to see Harry's retreating back. The brunette's shoulders were hunched miserably, his footsteps reluctant and heavy, and his hair, oh, his hair was so messy and unkempt, and Draco remembered his first impression of Harry during his first visit to the blond's office. His liquorice-black locks had been equally rumpled, that particular thatch of black hair that refused to stay upright, instead choosing to hang exasperatingly in between his green eyes. Draco had felt so irritated that Harry hadn't bothered to tidy up before meeting him, felt that nail-biting urge to straighten his hair out, but now, now-

It sounded silly, it sounded absurd, but Draco had found himself falling in love with Harry's scruffiness each and every day.

And it was at that point, at that split second pause in between yesandnopleasedon'tgo- when Harry turned one last time, his hands jammed dejectedly into the pockets of his jeans. Draco shakily stepped out of the lift, not daring to look Harry in the eye, but he could see the toes of Harry's sneakers fidgeting in his peripheral vision.

but I can't let go of what's in front of me here-

Harry's sneakers took one, two mincing, tentative steps towards the blond, and it was then that Draco lifted his head slowly, carefully, his eyes pleading eloquently for Harry not to leave, relaying the feelings that he didn't know how to package into words. Green and grey melded from the heat of their gaze, this instant that was so loaded, so intense that it could have powered the whole building-

"Harry, I-" Draco croaked out, his leaden limbs failing to budge from his spot. The blond could only stare helplessly at Harry, his vocal cords suddenly in a state of paralysis. His arms hung feebly at his sides like overcooked spaghetti, his wrinkled clothes were a far cry from their usual immaculate condition, and his blond locks were disheveled.

you don't get back-

Draco appeared to be a heartbeat away from a nervous breakdown.

what you just threw away-

Draco looked like a cheaper, shrunken version of his former arrogant self, and without the sanctuary and protection of his office, he looked like a weakened bird whose refinery and magnificent plumage had been removed when placed against the vast, cavernous background of the lobby.

The blond's façade of untouchable elegance was finally melting right in front of Harry's eyes.

Harry's heart was palpitating, the blood in his veins thrumming, coming to life and dancing under a rain of no, no, not happiness, not bliss, but hope. Harry swallowed, his green eyes held wide and unwavering, relishing this delighted fairground flutter in his stomach.

Dangling pleadingly from Draco's fingers was Harry's tie.

what are you still doing standing there, Harry, go, go and get him and make it all better-

With that, Harry scrambled towards Draco, yes, he could kiss him, thus placing a bandage on his emotional wounds, but they had so many things to talk about, so many unresolved issues that were still hanging in the air like a malevolent ghost that would rear its ugly head when the chance presented itself-

If this was a story, if this was a sappy romance movie, the both of them would rush to each other, declaring their clichéd, ever-lasting love, ending with Draco collapsing weakly in Harry's arms, sealing their affection with a wonderful kiss. They would then ignore the gaping hole in their relationship, treating it as though everything was perfectly fine and live happily ever after like some delusion of a fairy tale, but this was real life, harsh, astringent and bitter, and yes, there was a route to happiness, but unlike in dreams, reality didn't offer a shortcut to that destination.

"We'll talk at your home. Is that… is that okay?" Harry ventured. Draco nodded tightly, dipping his head and staring mutely at the polished marble floor.

Harry wrapped a hand around Draco's wrist, squeezed it gently and tugged Draco out of the lobby into the crisp night air. They then Apparated a short distance away from Draco's apartment and made their way into the ex-Slytherin's flat.

Not one word had been exchanged.

"I'll make some tea," Draco muttered, turning his back on Harry.

"I don't want tea," Harry said firmly. The ex-Gryffindor walked over to the dining table, pulled out a chair for Draco before sitting opposite Draco's empty chair. The blond hesitated fractionally, but obliged by silently sinking into the proffered chair, his eyes downcast and studying the workmanship of the table instead of looking at Harry. The brunette's shoulders slumped marginally and he tilted his head to the left, forcing Draco to meet his questioning gaze.

But the blond still chose to maintain his stubborn silence.

"Why did you meet up with Labelle that week when I was hospitalized?" Harry started, his nervous fingers falling all over each other into a knotted wreck. A bubble of irritation welled up in Draco and he scowled at the other man, annoyed.

"I needed his help to cover a few meetings that week because I was in the hospital looking after you. That dinner was just something to show my appreciation, and yes, he did invite me up for sex, but we didn't do anything because I rejected him!" Draco snarled, bristling, his voice spiraling upwards with every word.

"Then why didn't you tell me this before meeting him! Then all of this could have been avoided!" Harry countered, his own temper flaring.

"Because I knew you'd get into this jealous rage, I knew you'd start thinking about things that never happened! You'd hobble out from your home and follow me to see if I really did spend the night with him! You were still recuperating, Harry, the last thing I wanted to do was to make you worry!" Draco shot back heatedly. He sighed and rested the side of his face on his palm, the index finger of his other hand drawing symbols on the table, markings that Harry could not decipher.

Harry frowned crossly and placed his own palm down on Draco's wandering fingers, hindering their movement. The blond finally looked up into Harry's irate green eyes, his lips pulled tight into a grim, unyielding line.

"So what now? You're gonna blame me just because I care about you? I need to know your relationship with Labelle, I need to know why you broke up with him, Draco, I need reassurance to know that right now, he's really, truly, an ex, and not someone that's still lingering in the background!" Harry demanded, releasing Draco's hand when he was sure that he had the ex-Slytherin's full attention.

"Let me tell you in no uncertain terms that Pietro Labelle is no longer in the picture. Yes, he might still be in love with me, but I'm not interested in him anymore, and I've made it crystal-clear to him," Draco then continued to outline the events that had transpired in Draco's own home when Pietro had paid a visit to him. He told Harry as much as he could, right from the very start of their relationship, up to the reasons why Draco broke it off with Pietro. Harry listened quietly, grains of relief slowly forming in him. It really sounded as though the both of them were really over…

"I would greatly appreciate it if Pietro's name did not come up in this conversation anymore," Draco concluded evenly.

"You should have told me-" Harry started, but was cut off angrily by Draco's words, dripping with scorn. His composure was splintering, his animosity emboldened by unwanted memories of Pietro slinking from shadow to shadow. Draco pushed back his chair roughly and got to his feet. He began pacing, his arms folded across his chest.

"We've only been together for two months, Harry, you can't expect me to tell you all the dust and debris of my past relationships! I would have preferred to tell you all of this when I'm ready to, but now you're practically forcing me to say it all at this early stage, and it makes me uneasy! Does it mean that every single time when we have an argument, we need to drag it all out and clear the air right at that very moment? Can't we just think about it, can't we just let things lie for a bit before talking it over?

"You jump to conclusions in just a matter of seconds, saying all those things in your stupid hot-headedness and hurting people with your words, and you left, Harry, you left just like that without a backwards glance and I didn't know, I didn't know what it all meant!" Draco hissed fervently, the intensity of the emotions blazing from his charcoal grey eyes. His voice had gradually gone all weak and brittle at the end when the blond remembered the despair, the pain that he had felt when Harry had simply walked away-

your paper heart-

might just be a little bit too fragile-

"In case it has conveniently slipped your mind, Labelle had one of his cronies to escort me out of the premises! What was I supposed to do?! Was I wrong, Draco? You need someone that is worthy of you, someone that you're proud to show off and not hide like some sort of dirty secret! If you compare the both of us, it's so plain that he's better than me in every way!" Harry admitted hotly, resentment skulking beneath his weakening confidence. He could deny it, but the truth behind his words was too much to ignore. Dismay simmered beneath the inferiority that trickled corrosively onto his heart. Harry clenched his fists in agitation, sinking his forehead down to the insides of his wrists. His eyes were closed, his head dipped while Draco simply stared at how defeated Harry looked. The brunette continued talking, the words coming out stilted and dry from his lips.

"I'm a simple person, Draco. I just want the man I love to be happy, I don't care about money, I don't care about status, but compared to you, everything's completely different. I'm not good enough for you, I'll never make enough money to pander to your every need and want! I'll never, never be good enough for you!" Harry reiterated, despising how pathetic it sounded when he said out loud the thoughts and insecurity that he kept cocooned in the darkest recesses of his mind.

"What a touching speech, but please don't be offended if I don't clap for you," Draco smiled blandly. Streaks of disbelief what's he playing at, why is he laughing at me?!- jetted through Harry's bloodstream like unguided missiles. The blond fixed Harry with a level stare, his eyes glittering coldly and a hint of a sneer sullying his lips. His features were schooled into a show of indifference, and Harry recoiled.

"Yes, I did look down on you initially. Think about it, Potter. You failed to register on my radar as someone that was worth my time. You're good-looking, I'd give you that, but besides that, I could have my pick of men that could easily surpass you in the looks department and everything else. So when I received your… rather ill-thought out owl, I thought it might be a fun game to play, so I co-operated with you, but on my terms, of course," Draco drawled callously, his eyes silky with detachment.

It hurt Harry like a cold stab to hear all of it being excavated like that, rolling off impassively from Draco's tongue, but he tempered down his rashness and forced himself there has got to be a point to this- to be patient.

"We all know how the first date went, didn't we? There was too much promise, but too little delivery. But things did improve as we progressed further, and I found myself actually... enjoying the time that I spent with you. I didn't understand why, but-" Draco halted suddenly, hesitating like a young boy that had carelessly forgotten his lines in a play.

Harry's head slowly rose, and astonished, disbelieving green eyes blinked.

"And then you got yourself injured, and it was strange how worried I was for you as the days passed. It was strange how I felt like there was something… wrong when you weren't with me. It was strange how those little imperfections that I didn't like about you suddenly turned into something more bearable," Draco said quietly, the edge in his voice beginning to soften. His ceaseless curtain of aloofness was cracking, and Draco's lips quirked up in a quick twitch of a smile.

Harry's clothes were cheap, common and nondescript, and on top of that, Harry dressed like he was escaping from a burning building, but it was funny how Draco had slowly come to accept that. The brunette was like a breath of fresh air to Draco, and with Harry, his life was turned upside down and inside out, exactly like how a small child would pick up a snow-globe and shake it with all his might.

"What got me so mad was that you didn't ask me how I felt about all of this. You just automatically assumed that this wouldn't last because of the differences between us. I… know that I'm not an easy man to be with, but I just want… I just want…" Draco trailed off, the unsteadiness in his voice giving him away. Unconcealed, aching need radiated in the blond's raw grey eyes, his emotions churned in an endless wreck of a cycle deep within his heart.

His inhibitions were skating perilously close to the edge, before falling over into the abyss and shattering into pieces. Draco's words came out in a heated, frenzied torrent as he once again took to pacing, his footsteps tapping an irregular, aberrant tempo on the floor.

"Would you believe me if I said that I don't find expensive gifts and costly meals to be important anymore? I don't want filet mignon every dinner anymore, I don't want diamond-studded watches for my birthdays anymore! Everyone else, every other man that I've dated has placed so much emphasis on their wealth, each and every one of them trying to impress me, but you, you just make me… you make me happy."

Harry's heart was beating like a drum in his chest, every cell in his body vibrating with excitement as he absorbed what Draco was saying.

"I want romantic moonlight walks at the beach with you where I can just stop thinking about work, where we could just spend hours talking nonsense. I want you to sing for me, I want you to sing those sentimental, mushy lyrics that I pretend to hate but really, deep down inside, I'm trying so hard not to fall in love with you even more. I want you to send me messages using your silly Muggle phone every single day to tell me how much you miss me. I want us to bake again where I can throw flour at you and then you'll give me the cookies that we made together, cookies that I'll keep looking at during work because whenever I see them I'll think of you, and I end so getting so distracted because I can't stop thinking about you! I don't care, Harry, I don't bloody care if our whole date consists of sitting near a hot dog stand and eating cheap food, I don't care about anything else as long as I'm with you!"

On paper they wouldn't work, especially when Harry's temper was paired up with Draco's inner fragility, but in real life they were positively bubbling with potential. Draco vulnerably wrapped his arms around his abdomen, suddenly feeling shy by what he had just blurted out. The words hung in the air as though they had wings, and Harry's breath caught in his throat, his eyes full moons of surprise and shock.

"You've never said so much to me in one breath before," Harry remarked softly. He walked over to Draco, who still steadfastly refused to meet Harry's smiling eyes. Harry took hold of Draco's hands and tucked his fingers in the gap between Draco's fingernails and palms, uncurling Draco's hands from their tight fists. He brought Draco's wrist to his lips and feathered it with gentle kisses.

"Did you… did you really mean all that?" Harry asked.

Draco could only glare at the grinning brunette, his pale, pointed face swallowed up by an embarrassing blush.

"Draco, that day when I came over, I found something rather curious in your kitchen," Harry said and led the blond over to his kitchen. He reached up and opened that particular cupboard that housed the jars of honey that the brunette had stumbled upon.

"Oh, that," Draco laughed weakly.

"You have it in your office too, because I saw you hide it from me the first time I went there. Is this connected to the reasons why you don't eat much?" Harry tried.

"When I was young, I didn't really have a good appetite to start off with. I… put on weight easily if I eat too much. Then when I started working with Labelle, it became a habit for the both of us not to eat proper meals. The honey… staved away the hunger pangs. I spend most of the time in the office anyway. I can't cook, so when I get a bit hungry at home, I just eat the honey and the hunger goes away. It's convenient," Draco explained.

"I see," Harry said a bit too calmly. He stretched a foot, pulling the trash bin towards him. His eyes burning with determination, Harry began to dump the bottles of honey into the bin, much to Draco's horror.

"What are you doing, they're expensive, Harry, stop!" The blond shrieked, his eyes round with alarm. But the brunette continued his assault, not giving Draco a reply. Draco watched with consternation as the glass of the jars exploded into shards when Harry tossed them hard in the bin, the sticky, viscous honey congealing into an absolute mess.

"You won't need that rubbish anymore. It probably has zero nutritional value for you-"

"It's not rubbish-" Draco started to protest, but his words wilted on his lips when Harry pulled him close and whispered in his ear.

"I'm going to take good care of you from now on. You don't need to worry about food, I'll handle all of it so you won't have to go hungry whenever you're home, okay?" Harry comforted, resting his hands protectively on Draco's hips. Harry's conviction warmed all of the empty places in Draco's heart, and the blond beamed, until a sudden cold thought sliced across his smile.

"I left your soup in the office, I need to go and get it back!"

"It's alright-"

"But you must have spent a lot of effort on it!"

"I'll make it for you everyday if you want," Harry said. Draco lowered his head and looked down at his toes, a blush as sweet as cherry blossoms spreading across his cheeks.

"Do you love me, Draco?"

The ex-Slytherin's head snapped up, pale echoes of doubt lingering in his eyes.

"We've only been seeing each other for two months, it's a bit too early for mentions of love, isn't it?" Draco said quietly, turning his head away why is he rushing things now, don't tell me that we're going to argue about this again- and his grip tightening on the edge of the kitchen counter.

"Just promise me that when you're ready to say it, don't hold back. Can you… can you do that?" Harry whispered, leaning in and filling his empty lungs with Draco's sweetly exquisite scent.

Draco's eyes went wide for a moment, before crinkling up in a slow smile. He agreed softly and interlinked their fingers together, savoring the closeness that they shared. Harry's touch was suffusing his senses, keeping him whole in a way that Draco never thought was possible.

"Are we… are we going to be okay?" Draco asked, his nerves flittering like fireflies all the way down to the tips of his fingers. There was this peculiar feeling, something like electrocuted butterflies zinging up down and around that this could be it, this could be forever- his brain, and Draco marveled at how Harry could draw out a whole range of see-sawing emotions in him; happiness as well as melancholy. This wasn't just a frothy romance, this wasn't a fling that could be simply forgotten at a whim.

every time when you say my name a piece of me falls into place-

"We'll work on it, Draco. We'll take things slowly, and I'll put up with your… uncommunicative ways and you'll bear with my temper and my… lack of money. I'm sorry for everything that I said that day, I didn't mean a word of it," Harry said, feeling bites of guilt threading its way through him.

"I'm sorry for what I said those few weeks ago. So now we're equal, yeah?" Draco murmured, planting a delicate kiss on Harry's cheek. The brunette sighed, loving the whisper of Draco's eyelashes against his skin.

now is when perfect starts to show through the cracks-

"So we're officially together now? We are, aren't we?" Harry gulped and said in a rush, wanting to get some sort of final confirmation from Draco.

Draco only smiled back cheekily, his playful eyes touched with edges of mischief.

"I'll let you fly a kite with me," Draco replied, an impish grin poised on his lips. Harry blinked, momentarily confused for a moment.

"-I'll bring you back when you're officially my boyfriend then-"

With that, Draco slid his arms around Harry's neck and touched their lips together briefly, with a promise of more kisses to come. A smiling Draco rested his cheek on Harry's shoulder, his hands wrapped possessively around the brunette's waist. His eyelids fluttered close like a hopeful child and he let out a soft sigh.

Harry's body seized up in an outburst of affection, and he hugged the blond tightly in his embrace. There were so many things that they didn't know about each other, and Harry wasn't done, oh no, he would never be done with picking through the labyrinth that was Draco Malfoy.

because in your eyes-

I'd like to stay-

/tbc

So this is it, the two months in all of its glory.

But it's not going to end yet. There're still a few things that I've yet to accomplish, so Chapter 15 will officially be the last chapter of Flirt. Nothing's changed; Chapter 13 will be published next Friday.

I hope that you will still be here with me. (: