Burning the Length and Breadth of Sky

The first game you lose is the most important game of all. Perhaps it shouldn't have surprised you so much when you reached for that dark power and played the Orichaclos, that losing big, and losing when so much more rode on winning the game, was already a habit of yours you played to perfection. When you lose, someone usually dies. When you lose, more than your pride takes a beating. When you lose, it's the happiness of those around you you destroy. So when you play, you have to play to win. The balance of the universe has always hung on the turn of a card from your hand. You sometimes think that once being thought a living god was not too far from the truth.

But this time... this time the game you lose will save lives. You won't have to worry about anyone's happiness being destroyed, because your not being around will ensure that the darkness will never get that chance. You know now because you finally know who you are now. You're not the other side of the boy that is Yugi Mutou. You are the pharaoh Atem. You had a family, and you know their names and their faces now. You had your own friends. You had your own life where your face was yours and no one had to pretend you were someone else. You didn't have to pretend you were someone else. And you were alive.

After you regain your memories, you feel fevered, rushed. Now that you have to go and can finally go, you can't wait to go. There are people on the other side waiting for you and you can't wait to see them again and be with them. Suddenly the walls of that damn Puzzle are suffocating you. You always knew you never belonged in there, and to now know you are not, and never were, some dark specter of games and shadow, you feel a freeing sense of vindication. You died for the world and for millennia the world has owed you a restful hereafter. The Ceremonial Duel seems to be the least it could do after you sacrificed your own eternity the first time around.

Yugi shifts his head from where he has laid it on your bare chest, bringing it closer to your shoulder so the enormous mass of his hair isn't in your face. His eyes are open and staring into the distance. You stare at the ceiling above, through the skylight, to the moon. You can feel the slight tickle of his fingertips as they trace your skin, grazing in places, catching, skipping over your ribcage. Neither of you has spoken. Neither by mind link, nor by word of mouth. Yugi's thoughts and feelings are as closed off and remote to you as yours are to him. You caress his neck, trace between his small shoulders, down to the small of his back, then up again. Yugi's breathing shortens, shudders, and hitches. You shift and move as he pulls from your arms and instead brings his legs up to hug them against his body. He hides his face in his knees. You sit up and watch him stoically. You do not speak and you do not touch. Your eyes linger on his small form and then somewhere in the space hanging over his head. You close your eyes as the soft sighs of his sobs reach you.

Yugi sniffs and finally turns toward you. His face is a mess of tears and he looks absolutely miserable. He palms the tears away, takes a short little breath which he releases with a light huff, punctuated by a sniffle. He seems to read something in your eyes and just nods, smiling briefly, a ghost of a touch upon his bright, round face. You pull closer, and sit just behind him, lightly resting your cheek on his temple. He leans back into your touch, head back, eyes closing. Your fingers dance and graze his shoulders, run gently up and down his arms. You kiss his temple, the side of his face, his neck. His violet eyes open and he tilts his head back to meet your eyes.

"Mou hitori no boku?"

You smile at him tenderly. "Hm?" Your hands never stop.

Yugi's eyes lower a fraction, uncertain, afraid, before he stills. "I know what I saw in your memories but…" he trails off. "It wasn't everything… was it?"

"No, aibou," you murmur. "It was not."

Yugi opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again. Finally he clamps down on his lower lip. "Mou hitori no boku…" He repeats, turning in your arms so the both of you can look each other fully in the face. "Mou…" He is silenced by a single finger to his lips.

"Ask your question, love."

Yugi takes another, quicker breath, and then plunges ahead. "Was there… someone before me?" He begins to tremble. "It's okay," he continues on more quickly, "I won't be jealous, I-I just, I want to know, is all, it's okay, you don't have to te-" The rest is lost in your mouth as you pull him up into you, delving into his sweet depths until he moans. He moans your name, your real name, and then you moan, before flipping him beneath you. He opens himself to you and for a little while you grant his unspoken desire to feel nothing but pain and pleasure until he cries out against your chest.

You fall together against the sheets, face to face, barely able to breathe, barely knowing who is alive or dead anymore. Yugi presses desperate kisses to your face, eyes, and mouth. "I don't need to know," he says over and over again in a hopeless mantra. "I don't, I don't…"

"Yugi." He stops and stares, wide eyed. "There wasn't." You kiss his lips once, before adding, "You are the only one. You only have ever been the only one." You rest your hand against his cheek and tilt his chin up so he can look nowhere but at you. "No matter where I will be one month from now, I want you to always remember that."

Yugi's eyes fill with tears. "I will… and the same."

"No."

He trembles. "What?" he whispers, dismayed.

You pull him close to your body so you can feel his warmth and his heartbeat. "I am dead, aibou." You go on, even as he starts to sob. "I will not have you make that sacrifice. Promise me you will not close your heart to another for my sake. I could not bear you forsaking your happiness for the sake of remaining loyal to my memory."

"I-I promise. I mean… I'll-I'll try. Oh god, Atem…"

You pull away to kiss his forehead. It does little to comfort him but it does draw a brave smile from him and that is all that you can ask for.

Suddenly he reaches and grasps your hand, interlocks your fingers together. His own gaze is resolute, shaky, but the strength is there. "But you have to wait for me. I'm sorry, I just…" You can tell making such a selfish request crushes him, yet he makes it, because if anyone understands, will understand, it's you. "I need you to. Please. It's… It's not fair to you but I…"

"Aibou." You smile with your whole heart. "I waited three thousand years for you… I would wait another if I had to in order to be with you again."

Yugi sniffles, tries to cry, and winds up doing that and laughing at the same time, so hard he has to hug his sides. You poke the center of his forehead affectionately before seizing him into a teary but happy embrace.