5
"LOLLIPOPS!!!!!!!!!!" Artemis Fowl sat bolt upright in his bed. A sealed bag of half melted ice fell from his forehead, into his lap. The room's other two occupants jumped then sat up straighter in the chairs that they had pulled up beside him. Holly and Butler both stared at him quizzically.
"Say again," Butler said, looking at him oddly. "I thought you just said . . ."
"He did just say," said Holly. "Didn't you?"
"What?" Artemis asked, blinking at them, confused.
"Lollipops," Holly and Butler said simultaneously.
Artemis stared at them for a moment, feeling even more confused. "I don't like lollipops," he told them, frowning. "In fact, no self respecting criminal mastermind even uses the word 'lollipops.' I once compiled a database of –" He broke off, eyes going even wider with shock, as though he'd just been struck by a bolt of lightning. Or a taser.
"Artemis!" Butler was immediately at his side, grabbing his arm in alarm.
But Artemis didn't seem to be in pain. In fact, he was smiling. "I remembered something," he said, joy lighting his face. He turned to Holly. "I think I did – at least I'm pretty sure . . . You hit me and told me you'd buy me a lollipop!"
Holly stood and took a step toward him. "You remember that?"
Artemis nodded. "It wasn't in any of the files on my disk and none of you have mentioned it to me. But I can see the event in my mind. It can't be a false construct because I have no points of reference to have based it around, therefore it must be a real memory! I remembered!"
Holly reached out to clasp his hands in hers. "And everything else?" she asked.
Artemis's face fell at that. His eyes dropped to the bed sheets, then closed, as lines of concentration darkened his features. "No . . ." he said at last. "Just that."
Holly felt a twinge of disappointment, but she squeezed Artemis' hands in her own until the boy winced and looked up at her. "It's a start, Mud Boy," she told him.
"You're right," agreed Artemis, after a moment's consideration. "Contrary to popular belief, amnesia is very rarely conquered by a single stimulus, like often happens in the movies. More often memories return gradually, at seemingly random intervals, or in response to multiple stimuli. It is entirely possible that that will happen to me."
"Even if it doesn't, you're still not off the hook," Holly told him. "You know that, right?"
"We're friends, bonded by trauma, is it?" Artemis asked. His vision swam in and out of focus and his back muscles suddenly gave out, sending him sprawling back down on the bed. "Did something happen?" he asked, trying to remember the last thing he had been doing before waking in this bed. "How did I get here?"
The conversation he'd had with Holly replayed in his mind. And before that he had been sick, he recalled.
"You had a fever," Holly revealed. "That cut on your ankle where the troll got you. It got infected and into your blood stream. Don't worry, we called a healer for you. The only thing she couldn't fix was what had already gotten into your blood stream, but your antibodies seem to have just about taken care of all that now."
"I see."
"You not eating or drinking anything for twenty-four hours didn't help any," said Butler darkly. "But that's partly my fault. I should have kept a better eye on you, Artemis."
"I had one of Opal's truffles," the boy protested weakly.
"One piece of candy doesn't count."
"Think you can handle some soup?" asked Holly. "As scrawny as you are, you can't afford to miss any meals."
Artemis considered the question then nodded. "I could try to eat. I do feel hungry."
AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF
When Opal Koboi clawed her way out of her crashed escape pod, she found herself face to face with a tall tanned woman with a shovel in her hands and a furious expression on her face.
"These are my vines," said the woman angrily. "The vines are my life. Who are you to crash here in your little airplane and destroy everything I have?"
Opal thought fast. "Where is your family?" she asked, wondering if there would be backup coming to aid this woman in her lynching.
"I have no family," the woman told her. "I work the vines alone. I'm the last in the line. These vines mean more to me than my life, and certainly more to me than yours."
Opal smiled wickedly, an idea sparking in her diabolical brain. "Then you have no reason to live anymore, now that your vines are gone, do you?" she asked, her voice layered with the mesmer.
"I have no reason to live anymore, now that my vines are gone," the woman said bitterly.
"You should go end your life then," Opal told her. "As quickly and expediently as possible."
"I will end my life now. Quickly and expediently. I have nothing left."
Good Mud Woman, Opal thought. Then it occurred to her that this woman might be at least a little bit useful to her. "You should go home and hang yourself."
"I'm going home to hang myself." The woman turned around without another word and started across the vineyard. Opal followed her, a wolfish grin on her face. The woman would lead her right to her home, and would then remove herself from Opal's list of problems. That would give Opal ample time to search the woman's house for any valuables or currency which would aid in her escape. It would be at least twenty-four hours before the LEP even cleared a mission for her retrieval. Probably longer, since according to the last news Opal had from Haven, that idiot Ark Sool had taken charge of the LEP. By the time they finally got someone topside she would be long gone.
AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF
Artemis opened his eyes and was mildly surprised to find himself staring at the familiar fresco of the ceiling of his own bedroom. Frantically, he searched his recent memories, making sure they were all in place. Not that he'd be aware if any of them had been removed. That was a disturbing thought, but still.
The last thing he remembered was Ark Sool having him and Butler shot with tranquilizers. And before that, Holly had quit the LEP and decided to become a private detective with Mulch. Artemis had felt a tinge of regret that he couldn't stay and play detective with them. Deep down, he'd always wanted a chance to play at being Sherlock Holmes, and he had started to feel genuine (at least he was pretty sure it was genuine) affection for both fairies. They had indeed been bonded by trauma, but it was more than that. Never before (that he could remember at least) had people ever even acted like they liked him for . . . well, for him. Except for Butler of course, but he was practically family. Artemis had no memories of anyone being nice to him unless they wanted something from him, and he had never let anyone close before.
"I really must read up on the subject of this friendship thing," he muttered to himself.
He did not move for several minutes, even though he could have if he wanted to. Instead he opted to just lie back and think.
He searched his mind to see if anymore old memories had resurfaced. Since the great lollipop breakthrough, he'd been able to remember several more small things, each triggered by a relevant stimulus. Holly herself had triggered one, and had done so deliberately, tossing a coin at him, which he'd somehow managed to catch. That had brought back a good memory. The other thing he'd managed to remember had not been pleasant at all, and had occurred when he went to add a cube of sugar to a cup of tea Butler had brought him. It was probably because his subconscious made the connection between the shape of the sugar, and the fact that it was a sweet concoction, like the desserts he'd landed in back in that seafood restaurant. Back when Butler had been shot and killed.
He'd started shaking when those memories rushed back to him and he'd spilt his tea, much to Butler's alarm. Those were memories that he'd almost rather not have gotten back. Almost, but not quite. He'd never believed that there were memories that it was okay to forget. He'd learned something from all of them, after all. They made him who he was.
Something in Artemis's jacket pocket began vibrating. He reached in and pulled out a fairy communicator, which he supposed must have been what Holly slipped into his pocket before he'd passed out. Either that or she had been taking advantage of the opportunity and searching him for loose change, and accidentally left the device on him . . . which was kind of doubtful.
He sat up and opened the device and smiled to see Holly's face on the screen. Then he noticed her concerned expression and felt a twinge of worry. "Is something the matter, Holly?"
Holly visibly relaxed. "You know who I am."
"Yes. My dear fairy friend whom I bonded with over a traumatic experience involving some dangerous pheromones. I hope you won't be offended if I keep our relationship a secret."
That drew a smile from Holly. "Was that supposed to be a joke?" she asked. "That's not like you.
"I have observed people who appear to be on friendly terms make comments containing both levity and trace amounts of sarcasm or self depreciation, and the effect usually put the addressee at ease," Artemis told her. "Have I accurately deduced that you were worried I had been mindwiped again?"
Holly nodded. "Sool's a pig. I wouldn't put anything past him. Sorry about the sedatives, by the way."
"Not as sorry as Sool will be," Artemis vowed. He was going to have to think of something suitably creative for Ark Sool. Something that would make him long for his paper pushing days back at Internal Affairs. Sool would rue the day he took over his new position, and soon LEP would be missing Holly something awful. His plan would have to be even more devious than usual. Something that wouldn't bring real harm to Haven or the fairy people, yet would make the Lower Elements Police frantically busy, and above all that couldn't be traced back to him.
"Don't do anything that will get you mindwiped again, Mud Boy," warned Holly, then glanced around her. "Listen, I can't stay on for long. I had to bolt on a pirate booster to this thing to get a signal. This call's costing me a fortune. I need a favor."
Ah yes, a favor. Helpful acts provided by friends, for friends, without charging fees. Artemis had heard of those of course. Holly had even done some for him in the past he knew, though he could only remember one. She had saved Butler for him. More than saved him, brought him back from the dead. For that, he would gladly do whatever she asked of him.
"What's the favor?" he asked, anxious to participate in this favor exchanging with his newly rediscovered friend.
Holly started to explain about the problem her art dealer client had, which had her stumped, but the sound of running footsteps caused Artemis to ask her to pause and hide the communicator behind his back.
He needn't have worried. It was Butler who burst in, gun drawn, anxious to make sure that Artemis had made it home safely. Then before Artemis could return his attention to Holly's problem, Butler pointed out that his parents were pulling up the drive, and Artemis found himself oddly anxious to see them.
Holly tried to act annoyed when Artemis asked her if she could call him back, but it was obvious that she was happy that he wanted to be with his family. She promised to call again in five hours, then Artemis locked the communicator in his room's safe and ran downstairs to welcome his parents home.
The adventure should have ended there, with Artemis safely at home, in his parents arms. He had certainly been through enough already, and for once he had actually done enough good deeds to deserve a happy ending. But fate and Opal Koboi had other plans.
AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF AF
Thanks for reading. And three cheers for RoseRedMisery who correctly guessed what Artemis' first words would be! In a few days I'm going to have to start some hard core studying for my exams, so updates will be a little bit slower. But if there's anything you'd particularly like to see (or that you extremely don't want to see) feel free to let me know in either a review or a PM. Since I'll be writing slower, I'll have more time to turn over your ideas in my head and see if I can incorporate them.