Honor

Chapter Four:

Open Your Eyes and Look North

Kokoro and Matthew sat there for a long time in the room, all alone together. She was warm and nearly drifted into sleep again before shaking herself awake and nudging Matthew, who instantly responded. "Yeah?"

"I am hungry, are you?" He nodded, relieved that nothing was wrong. "Alright, I bet there is food downstairs." she said as she sat up and pulled away from Matthew.

"Sounds good." he said wiping the last of her tears from her face. She smiled and touched his hand and held it for a moment before standing up and leading him out by that hand, a smile on her face.

"Let's go eat. I do not want to spend my entire day off here! We will go afterward, is that okay?" she said with a smile as they descended the stairs. Their food was still there, a few of the younger girls still sat at the table and watched them, giggling and leaving as the two sat down to eat. "Have you been eating well?" she asked casually, but obviously still really wanted to know.

"I ate well enough," he said gently, "I am alive after all." Kokoro laughed. "But the month was difficult I guess."

"You had a place to stay right?"

"I did, most of the time." Kokoro stopped eating and looked at him. He looked back at her, after a moment with no reply, "What?"

"So at least one night you did not have a bed to sleep in?"

"Well, in all fairness, I never slept on the street or ground…" he trailed off at her expression of curiosity.

"Well, when you had no bed to sleep in what did you do?"

"I did not sleep." he said plainly with a smile. She put down her chopsticks and placed her hand on his. He gave her a questioning look.

"Matthew, I am sorry that this has been hard for you. I do not want to hear anymore of your hardships of this past month. Not because I do not care about them, or wonder if you made it, you are here after all. I say that because we both know I will feel worse about it. I had a bed and at least two meals a day, every day. It seems that you…" she trailed off for a moment and looked down at her food for several seconds then back up to him, who was still looking at her with a slight smile,"…you did not have that, I feel guilty for that, though I know I did not cause it to be hard for you." He turned his hand over under hers and grasped her hand.

"But I am here now." he said with a smile that comforted her. She nodded and smiled back and they continued eating.

When they had finished the two stood and Kokoro led him outside, it was not even eleven it seemed. The sun was still fairly low in the sky. "I am glad that you woke me up so early, or our day would be nearly gone with all the time we have already spent." He nodded in response. "So what do you want to do?" He shrugged.

"You pick."

"Again? I always have to pick, I want you to decide this time." she sighed heavily. He thought for a second. She interrupted him, "But on second thought there is something I have wanted to do. If that is okay."

"Of course it's okay, Kokoro. What is it?" She smiled.

"I want to go see the field they said I was found in. Maybe there is a clue to where my mother went to." He smiled and nodded.

"It is probably this way." he said walking slowly away. She kept close by his side, closer than she would normally keep herself next to him. "Are you alright? Nothing is wrong is there?" he asked after about ten minutes of walking.

"No, I just want to keep close to you. I missed you a lot. And this is as close to you as I can get to you by this society's opinion, otherwise I would be holding your hand or I would have an arm around you." she said sweetly and matter of factly. He smiled and laughed a little. She turned and looked at him, "What? Why are you laughing at me?"

"Nothing, nothing! I promise it's not bad, but I just missed how you speak."

She paused, "…Really?" He nodded. "I missed how sweet you are. More than I thought I would." she said quietly. The continued walking on, she kept close to him and they reached the outskirts of the market after a few minutes. Matthew took her hand in his, she looked down and back up at him, he was looking ahead and not at her. "What are you doing? You cannot do that here! Someone might see you!" she quietly exclaimed. He let go slowly, and turned to look at her.

"I don't care what they think." he said with a smile. She was silent for a moment.

"Then why did you let my hand go?"

"It seemed like you wanted me to let you go. You know very well I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Well," she paused and looked down at the ground, "that was before I knew how you felt about it. That and you reminded me about how I should feel about this." she said and looked back at him as she slowly entwined her finders between his as she took his hand again. "But this is all we can get away with in public, Matthew. It can get back to Miss Yuki and reflect badly on her." He nodded.

"I wasn't going to try anything else, I just missed holding you hand." he said. She squeezed his hand tightly and kept the pressure up for a long time. He squeezed back, but not as hard. People, especially young girls, had looked at them holding hands. Most giggled, some gave strange looks. Matthew ignored these, Kokoro smiled at them as they walked on.

They finally made it to the field after another twenty minutes of walking. It was wet and muddy off of the roads, still wet from yesterday's heavy rain storm. Kokoro stopped and looked around. She finally turned to Matthew and said gently, "This would be a pretty place for a picnic one day when the weather is better. Do you agree?" He looked down at her with a smile and nodded. She saw a tree near the road a few hundred feet down the road so she led Matthew to it by the hand, and he kept close to her, as if he was worried about something.

When they made it to the tree, she hugged Matthew. He started to protest but she cut him off before he could finish his first word, "Hush. I know I said nothing more than holding your hand, but this is where I was found, oddly enough it is overwhelming. Just hug me for a bit. Okay?" He slid his arms around her and ran his right hand up and down her back the entirety of the time. It always calmed her down. They both noticed this, over their time together. Plus, it seemed like it eased him as well, making the silences that the gesture accompanied easier for them both to bear. They stood like this for what seemed an hour before Kokoro inexplicably began to cry. He looked down at her as she buried her face in his chest. "My heart hurts." she said, her words muffled.

"Do you need a doctor?" he asked with no small amount of concern.

"No, I don't need a doctor." she said through tears. She felt his relief. "I don't know why I am crying either, and I'm sorry I am getting your shirt wet."

"It is perfectly alright."

"He is so sweet." she thought to herself. "Okay." is what she said. He was still stroking her back. She finally looked up at him, and he was smiling down at her. Suddenly he vision was a little blurry, and he felt distant again. She held on tighter and closed her eyes. It didn't bring him any closer, or make him feel that way. This all persisted until she passed out.

She felt her head swimming, and heard him say her name. She opened her eyes to see him over her, worry plastered over his face. It was night now, and he was dressed differently, like he was from a different time, her time. "Matthew?" She said trying to sit up. He touched her shoulder to keep her down, to which she complied. She felt her heart beating very hard and very fast. And she was covered in a cold sweat.

"Yes Kokoro?"

"What happened?"

"I don't know. Something blew up in town though." She looked around and saw the town she was from, fire marked the night sky. She was back. "You passed out and have been sleeping for about ten minutes. Are you okay?" She snapped her eyes back to him.

"I have been sleeping? So it was a dream?" she said quietly.

"Yeah, you looked like you were having a bad dream."

"I had a dream, but it wasn't all bad. I missed you though." He looked at her funny.

"But you are okay, right?"

"Yes, I am okay." she said, and she sat up, he did not stop her this time. She embraced him and kissed him gently, but passionately. "I am very okay." He smiled. "Can you take me to my mother?" He nodded again and helped her up and she leaned on him as he walked with her to her mother, who was talking to a neighbor when Matthew brought her daughter to her.

"She's alright, ma'am." Matthew said quietly, as she released Kokoro, who flew into her mother's arms.

"I'm glad you are okay, Kokoro!" Miyako said louder than she normally spoke. Their neighbor bowed and left.

"I love you mother."

"I love you too." Miyako said, releasing her daughter to stand on her own. Miyako turned to look at Matthew, who was looking on, glad that she was okay, "Matthew did not once get up, her made sure you were okay." Kokoro looked at the young man, who acted like it was nothing, and walked over and slid her arms around his neck and kissed him again.

"I know he was looking out for me. Why wouldn't he?" she said gently, before kissing him again. She then placed her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I love you Matthew." she said quietly, so only the two of them could hear her words. His arms wrapped around her finally. She fell asleep before he could answer. Matthew looked at her for a moment before looking up at her mother.

"Take her to her room and tuck her in, would you?" Miyako asked gently. Matthew only nodded and picked her up bridal style and walked inside carefully and took her to her room and put her on her bed and tucked her in. As her brought the covers up and made sure she would be comfortable she slowly opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." he whispered. She shook her head.

"It's okay." she whispered back. She took his hand and looked him in the eyes. "Was it too much to say that I love you?" He looked at her for a moment as he gathered his words.

"You meant it?" She nodded. "Then it is perfectly alright."

"You don't have to say it back. I don't imagine you feel it back. I had a dream that showed me that I love you when I passed out… I am sorry if I overstepped my bounds by saying it so early."

He shook his head, "I am glad I know, and while I don't feel it yet, I am certain that I will soon. It has only been how long?"

"Less than two weeks…" she said quietly.

"I have a lot of time left then." he said gently. "I really, really like you, Kokoro. I am not very far behind you." She smiled.

"Kiss me." He smiled and leaned down and kissed her gently. As he pulled away she smiled sweetly and yawned. "Good night Matthew, and sleep well. I love you."

"Good night Kokoro, I pray you sleep well." She smiled and raised her head and kissed him again before he stood up and left her room.