Thank you for reading my story I'm new to writing fan fiction, ill try an update as soon as I can. Sometimes it may be longer then expected as I have two small children so thank you for your patience. The song in this chapter is Angel by Katherine Jenkins
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Our group of friends were slowly becoming closer then ever its amazing but I think what really brought us closer was Edward's families funeral; we all decided as group that we would travel to Alaska with Edward, Carlisle, Esme & Emmett, I think we all new that they would need us for moral support. I honestly could not imagine what Edward was going through, what he was feeling; just looking into his eyes I could see the naked, raw emotion of grief helplessness, I felt I could not do anything for him other then be part of his support group.
We arrived in Alaska, making our way towards his house, you could feel the tension in him build up, I guess it must be so hard for him to go back to the place that caused him so much grief; I was in the car with him, Jasper & Alice. Edward and I were in the back seat, all I could feel was sadness coming off him, I knew I had to do something but I didn't want to overstep any boundaries with him we had just become friends I did not want to loose him out of foolishness. Alice peeked over at me and mouthed "comfort him please" all of a sudden I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket I pulled it out swiftly and read the message it was Emmett it said "Bella could please make sure E is ok pls, I know u r shy but could u pls hold his hand n help him try n get through this? Love u xox"
I blushed and thought about what he wrote to me and I decided that I wanted to be there for Edward in any way I could; I hated seeing him hurting I know we had only just met but somehow I felt a connection with him from the first time I looked into his eyes. Taking a deep breath I unclasped my seatbelt and slid to the middle seat, I strapped myself in, I looked at Edward and notice he was not paying attention, he seemed to be lost in his own torture, I slowly eased my hand into his so as not to scare him and I gave it a slight squeeze, he jumped slightly and looked at me, staring into his eyes it was like the world disappear, in that moment I knew I could never turn my back on this man, it didn't matter if all we stayed was friends that would be enough if I could have him in my life. I felt him squeeze my hand back, I thought he would let go but he didn't he just held on tight. I looked at him again and asked him softly;
"E I know this is a stupid question, but how are doing?"
A tear rolled down his face before he answered, with a deep breath he replied;
"I feel so lost B, I don't know what I will do, it will be so hard to step into my house and not see my family, I keep expecting to found out its not true, that is a dream, but B im not waking up, they are not coming back back..."
Tears ran down his face, I let go of his hand and twisted slightly until I was facing him I grabbed his face gently in both my hands and stared intently into his eyes, I was hoping he could see I cared before I said to him;
"I cant say I know what you are going through, because I do not, I cant tell you I know how you feel, because I do not, but I can tell you E that I will be here for you when ever you need me, always remember when you get down know that your friends,Carlisle, Esme & Emmett will always be there to help you, I know you are going through so many feelings right now but please think of your family as the loving, happy people you remember not who they were when they passed, know that even in your darkest hour Edward your memories will always stay with you and that mean so do they."
I let go of his face after my little speech and looked away I blushed scarlet when I realised that this was the first time I said more then a couple words to him to his face and not through texting. Wow I thought to myself for some reason I realised I was never really nervous or shy around Edward, it was an amazing feeling. Feeling him grab my hand again I didn't even try and pull away because truthfully I didn't want too. Glancing at again he cleared his throat then spoke;
"Bella thank you for saying what you did, it has made me realise that my family would want me to continue to be happy and live my life, im so glad I have all of you in my life, today will be the worst I have experienced, I know I don't know you all that well but would you hold my hand today at the service, I wouldn't ordinarily ask but I don't think I can let your hand go, I know its a lot to ask but please will you?"
"I will be glad to do this for you, if it helps you then by all means do whatever you need to, as I said im here for you."
Our conversation was cut short due to the fact we had pulled up to Edwards home, it looked so lifeless, I know it sounds stupid but it was like the spirit had gone from this house. We all got out of the cars and slowly walked up the path towards the front door, Edward did not let go of my hand, he undid the door and stepped inside, taking me with him. Walking swiftly to to the living room, as soon as he entered his knees buckled and he fell onto them sobbing I went with him and held him so tight, gently rocking him I whispered to him,
" shhhhhh let it out, let it out, im here, im not going anywhere E, im here"
We sat like that for over ten minutes until Esme gently tapped Edward on the shoulder and told him it was time to go to the funeral. Edward stiffened against my body, I told him I would be there every step of the way, I felt him relax slightly, I felt good knowing I could help.
We arrived and walked inside holding hands, our fingers laced together, I managed to sit Edward on a seat, all he could do was stare at the 5 white coffins in front of us, I felt the others sit down next to us, the service began and there wasn't not a single person not crying for this family, the reverend asked if there was anyone that wished to say something, next to me I heard Edward speak:
"um.. if you don't mind I would like to play the piano and sing a song that I knew my parents loved,"
The reverend nodded his consent, Edward stood up and let go of my hand strangely I felt so empty after he let me go. Edward postioned himself on the piano stool and took a deep shuddering breath before he started; all of a sudden a beautiful sound filled the church, I felt tears slipping down my face as I knew the song he was playing it always made me cry, but seeing Edward play it broke my heart;
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance,
for a break that would make it ok,
there's always some reason, to feel not good enough &
its hard at the end of the day,
I need some distraction,
Oh beautiful release,
memory seeps from my veins,
let me be empty, oh weightless & maybe, I'll find some peace tonight,
In the arms of the angel
fly away from from her
from this dark cold hotel room & the endlessness that you fear,
you are pulled from the wreckage,
of your silent reverie,
your in the arms of an angel,
may you find some comfort there,
so tired of this straight line,
& everywhere you turn there's vultures and thieves at your back,
the storm keeps on twisting,
you keep on building the lie that you make up for all that you lack,
it don't make no difference,
escaping on last time,
its easier to believe in this sweet madness,
oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees,
in the arms of an angel,
fly away from here,
from this dark cool hotel room & endlessness you fear,
you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
your in the arms of an angel,
may you find some comfort there,
your in the arms of an angel may you find some comfort there.
Edward slowly rose from the stool and walked towards the coffins he started at his parents and tragically lent down and kissed each one, telling them he loved them and would always love them, he went to the photos on the table in front and sank to his knees, and wept he ran his fingers down his sisters photos, saying goodbye, he moved onto his fathers, saying he hoped he would make him proud, when he reached his mothers he said
"mum what am I going to do without you? I love you so much your my best-friend, ill miss you so much, mum it hurts so much, my he..art is broken I don't know how to say goodbye mum I love you...I hope your in a better place."With that he came and sat back down with his head in his hands he cried until there were no tears left to cried, Esme held onto him until it was time to make our out to the burial.
Alice, Rose, Jasper and I walked together slowly, holding onto each other as we all cried for our friend I looked to Alice and she said
" oh I have never felt this much sadness, my heart goes out to Edward, im glad we are here for him."
" I know Emmett is finding this hard he loved his aunt, uncle and cousin it is so hard for them all as they were a close family, I guess all we can do is be there for them.." Rose replied softly.
"I don't know if ill handle this next part seeing them like this is hurting like hell"
Jasper said in response to what was about to happen, we all stood next to the rest of the family, I wiped my tears away but more replaced them; seeing
the coffins lined up in a line ready to lowered into the ground, I felt a tightness go through my chest and I sobbed harder as I realised Edward would never get to say I love you to his family, to hug them, kiss them any more, how could life be so unfair, in the middle of my thoughts I felt someone grab onto my hand lacing their fingers into mine I looked up and found myself staring into Edwards eyes, I gasped when I saw the anguish that they held, I slowly glanced away, rubbing my thumb on his hand, hoping to comfort him. It was the saddest thing seeing the coffins lowered into the ground.
The service ended and people came and gave their condolences to the family,
as everyone dispersed, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Alice told us they would wait by the cars for us, I went to go too but he held my hand tight not letting go, looking into my eyes he said with fierce conviction
"Bella don't leave me please don't ever leave me I don't want to loose anyone else"
"Edward where am I going to go? Ill be here as long as you need me that's what friends are for." I replied with the same conviction, it went silent and we slowly made our way to cars on the way Edward in deep concentration when I heard him mumble,
"Friends is that what we are?"
Realising I wasn't supposed to hear that so I kept walking like I heard nothing.
A silent lone tear sliding down my cheek.