Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters... I don't own The Princess Bride either, but Wesley was totally my first crush. "As...... you...... wish......"
A/N: As always, I have to thank the beautiful and talented PerfectlyPersuasive for being an awesome beta. I also have to thank all of you lovely readers who review and add this story to alert and favorite lists. Links to my random pop culture references on my profile.
Jasper cooked me dinner on Valentine's Day.
He had wanted it to be a surprise, but I overheard him getting instructions from Grandma Hale on the phone. I then insisted on being around in case he set something on fire. He relented, only after I swore up and down that I wouldn't hover and that I would sit at the counter while he worked and keep my mouth shut about his cooking techniques.
It was hard not to tell him the better way to hold the santoku knife or that béchamel sauce was always better with a touch of freshly ground nutmeg, but I managed to hold my tongue.
He made Grandma Hale's chicken and dumplings. It was very down home, very comforting, and very delicious. I was glad I had kept my mouth shut.
He offered to run up to Bella and Alice's to get a bottle of wine so I could have a glass with dessert, but I declined. I noticed at New Year's that while Jasper took a glass of champagne to toast with, he didn't drink any of it. He confessed to me that he thought not even considering champagne an option helped him stay in the sobriety mentality. He seemed so apologetic; it took a lot of reassurance on my part to tell him that we didn't need champagne to celebrate. I was perfectly happy not drinking or keeping any alcohol in the house. I occasionally had a beer at Emmett's or a glass of wine with one of Bella's meals, but I didn't feel like I was depriving myself of anything. It was hard to convince Jasper of that, though, and I knew he felt guilty about it.
"Jazz, do you remember back during freshman year, when I saw you at that party?"
He winced. This probably wasn't the best thing to bring up on Valentine's Day, but I had to make him understand.
"Listen to me, Jasper, please. It's in the past, now. You weren't ready to be in a relationship with me, and I think we both had some growing to do. But, did I ever tell you that that night I drank myself into fucking oblivion?"
Jasper bit down on his lip and shook his head. "I'll never make it up to you, breaking your heart the way I did," he said softly, his pain echoing through the room.
I got up out of my chair, crossed the room and knelt beside him.
"Don't you dare apologize or feel guilty. Everything we went through made us who we are and made us both stronger, and I wouldn't trade what I have with you now for anything in the world. You're a different person than you were back then."
He nodded almost imperceptibly.
I got up and pulled him out of his chair. I led him into the living room and pulled him onto the couch where I could hold onto him. I leaned back in the corner of the couch and guided him to sit with his back to me. I knew it would be harder for him if we were face to face.
"You listen to me, Jasper Hale," I said firmly next to his ear. "There is nothing for you to make up to me. I could have gone to you and talked to you and told you how I felt. I didn't have to wait for you to do it, you know. But, baby, it doesn't matter now. That feels like so long ago, and you're stuck with me now. I love you whether you like it or not."
I could feel his body relax against me.
"I love you, too, Ed," he paused. "It's just hard to talk about."
"I know," I agreed, running the tips of my fingers along his arm to sooth him. "But, hear me out."
He nodded.
"I drank myself into a stupor that night. It was partly because of you, but it was partly because I was overwhelmed with everything. I know you think I transitioned to college really easily, but you know I let the stress get to me. Seeing you, well, it just pushed me over the edge."
He tensed again.
"I spent most of my night in the dorm bathroom hunched over a toilet, puking my guts out. I know what it's like to use alcohol to escape or avoid your problems. I've been tempted to since then. Then, I remember that night, though, and I know I don't want to do that ever again. I don't want to lose myself like that. I like having control of my faculties," I paused. "I've talked to my dad about this, and with my anxiety and panic attacks, it's really better for me if I keep myself as physically healthy as possible – a balanced diet with regular exercise, blah, blah, blah. So, I don't just agree to not keep alcohol in the house for your sake; it's for mine, too."
He turned to look at me, but I put a finger to his lips.
"I have a beer occasionally, or wine with dinner, but I treat it like a special occasion and I don't do it to get drunk. I can't. It's not a sacrifice for me at all to not have alcohol always on hand, even though Emmett would be more than happy to supply it. You are infinitely more important to me than any silly frat boy shit. Besides, Emmett does his best to get us into enough trouble sober."
Jasper turned fully then, so that he was sitting on his knees between my legs. He wrapped his arms around my neck tightly and murmured into my neck,
"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."
"You probably saved children from burning buildings and found homes for lost puppies in a past life," I teased.
"Mmm, probably," he said, gently pressing his lips to mine in a tender kiss.
After he pulled away, I broke in, "Can we have dessert now? With coffee?"
He laughed and grabbed my hand as we went back into the kitchen.
I was shocked beyond belief when Jasper pulled a pecan pie out of the oven. He confessed that Bella had put it together, leaving only the baking for him to pull off, but it was still terribly sweet of him to go out of his way to get me my favorite dessert. It was all I could do not to just jump him in the kitchen, but that would have been a waste of freshly baked pecan pie.
When we began to make love that night, it was clear that something had shifted in our relationship. Jasper was neither playful nor firm as he often was. Instead, he was completely and utterly loving. The way he caressed my body with his fingertips and his tongue spoke the words he hadn't vocalized earlier.
Neither of us were in any hurry to rush things, but when he coated his fingers with lube, I was more than ready to receive him. I was anticipating his two slick fingers entering my hole, but instead. he shocked me by sitting back, spreading his legs and pressing them into his own. If there was anything more erotic than Jasper finger-fucking himself, I have yet to see it. I sat agape from the head of the bed while I watched him thrust into himself, his eyes set on my face and its likely agog expression. I finally managed to pull my eyes up to meet his.
"Fuck," was the only word that whispered out of my mouth.
"In a minute, babe," his silky drawl responded.
As much as I was enjoying the show, I couldn't refrain any longer. I crawled gracelessly toward him and fastened my lips to his neck.
"You enjoy the show I take it?" he breathed into my ear.
"You have no idea--" I trailed off when the cool feeling of lubricant hit my erection as Jasper began to coat me.
I couldn't speak any longer as Jasper guided me into his waiting body. He relinquished control then, and I couldn't contain myself. What could have continued as a romantic evening of hushed words and passionate caresses, turned into hard, intense fucking that left both of us so spent, neither one of our anal retentive tendencies kicked in when I picked my t-shirt up from the floor, wiped us both off, and threw it in the corner. I think we both passed out less than a minute later.
I woke up in a thoughtful mood the next morning. When I reflected on the night before, I realized that we still had room to grow, but that growth was a good thing. Despite the point we reached in our relationship, it would always keep evolving. The dynamic would shift. Right now, Jasper needed me to be strong for him because he was still trying to overcome his past wrongs, and I had to show him that my love for him was unconditional. That, I needed him just as much as he needed me.
When he shifted beside me, I looked down at him and smiled into his just waking gray-blue eyes.
"What are you so happy about?" his sleep-filled voice was dry and gravelly, and I found it way sexier than I should.
"Just thinking about us."
"What about us?" he smirked, his eyes still trying to focus.
"Oh, just how good we are for each other." I leaned in to press my lips against his, morning breath be damned. "And, how well we fit together," I finished in a whisper.
I could feel his lips curve up before he spoke, "We do fit nicely together, don't we?"
It was just as his morning wood pressed into my hip when an obnoxious buzz came from his bedside table.
"Dammit!" he groaned at his alarm clock.
"The real world awaits," I echoed his groan.
We lay in silence for a minute, not wanting to be the first one to break the magic spell of bed and admit that it was a weekday morning and we had obligations to get to.
Finally, Jasper spoke.
"How about we skip our morning run and fuck in the shower instead?"
"I'd say that counts as aerobic activity," I said slowly, grinning at the sexy man beside me.
"I think we can probably work some balance and flexibility training in there, too," he said matter-of-factly.
Without saying a word, I got out of bed and pulled Jasper into the bathroom, where we proceeded to enjoy a morning workout. All in all, it was a damn good way to start my day.
Later that week, I was summoned to Alice and Bella's place for a movie night. My week had gone downhill since Valentine's Day, and I really wasn't in the mood to be social. Alice managed to twist my arm, anyway. Once I got there and found Alice and Rosalie in sweatpants and no makeup, I quickly realized that I had been invited for a girl's night. I didn't know exactly how to feel about that, but I didn't think I liked it.
Sensing my annoyance, Alice herded me into the kitchen almost immediately.
"What?" she asked me, standing in what Emmett always referred to as "girl stance," with hands on hips and weight shifted on one foot.
"Nothing, Ali," I snapped.
"Don't 'nothing' me. I know what's bothering you, and you know what's bothering you. So, just say it. Don't do the 'Edward bottling things up' thing."
For a moment, I considered being petulant, but there was really no getting around my twin's wrath.
"I just... I know you and Bella and I used to do movie nights, but... when did I become one of the girls?" I finally just let it come out in a rush.
"Where is this coming from, Eddie?"
"I don't know, really," I said honestly. "It's just that people always expect me to be a certain way, just because I'm gay. I know that you love me, and I'm always going to be your dopey twin brother... and that you don't mean anything by it..." I trailed off.
"What aren't you telling me?" Alice said, clearly still irritated.
I knew that she wouldn't lay off me until she got to the heart of the matter. I was trying to get better at not keeping things bottled up until they all imploded on me in a panic attack, but it was still no easy task for me.
"Oh, at work, at my internship, one the other interns just found out that I was gay."
"Did... he?" she asked. I nodded in confirmation of the gender. She continued, "Did he give you a hard time about it? Because you can talk to your professor or report it to the lab. It's illegal to discriminate."
"No, no, Ali, it wasn't like that. Blatant bigotry I can handle."
I fidgeted, and Alice relaxed her position, waiting for me to let it out.
"He, Stefan's his name, was just so... so incredulous to the fact that I was gay. He kept going on and on about how I don't seem gay. I dress like a "normal" guy. I like sports. I don't talk like a gay guy. He just wouldn't let up about it!"
"Well, he's an ignorant, obnoxious asshole!" Alice was always good at reacting the way I wanted to.
"I know! I know! And, I shouldn't let him get to me. I just, felt like a sideshow exhibit all day. Like, I was the endangered gay straight guy or something."
"Did you say anything to him?"
"Well, I shrugged off most of his questions, but then, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I said yes, I think he just assumed that my boyfriend must be the stereotypical 'bitch' in the relationship, so he eased up. That made me madder, though, because Jasper's way more stereotypically straight than I am! He has a hunting license for heaven's sake."
Alice sighed, but maintained her angry posture. "I can understand why that would make you mad, but that doesn't explain why you snapped at me."
"It's just hard to know who I am when I'm treated so differently by different people. I mean, he was treating me like he would any guy he presumed straight until he found out, and now he treats me like I'm freak because I don't 'act gay,' whatever that means. Then tonight, I'm the only one with a dick at a girl's night! It doesn't get much gayer than that. So, what am I?"
Her eyes narrowed. "Are you accusing me of something?"
"No, Ali. No," I sighed. "I just, sometimes, I still don't know where I fit in."
She paused for a moment and tilted her head in thought. Then, her eyes softened, and I knew she understood me. "Would it make you feel any better to know that when I shop with Jasper I force him to watch me model every outfit I try on?"
"Oh, please, he loves shopping with you."
"You've gone shopping with me before, Eddie. No one likes shopping as much as I do."
"Okay, yeah, I would feel emasculated if you did that to me."
"He's gotten better at it over the years, and being in a relationship with you has made him a lot more confident. He still gets uncomfortable, though, being the gay best friend."
I nodded. Sometimes, hanging out with Bella became uncomfortable in public. She didn't really fit the bill of a "fag hag," either.
"Sometimes, the sales girls treat him like their gay best friend. I think that's what irritates him the most. Women assuming that he's like a character they know from Sex in the City and not a unique individual who might not want to bitch about boys. So, I'm going to tell you the same thing I tell him."
"What's that?"
"Honey, all you have to be is yourself."
"You sound like an after school special."
"I can't help it when the clichés are true!"
"That's not a cliché; you're quoting Ethan Hawke!"
Alice put her hands up in the air.
"Okay, you caught me. I should know better than to quote a 90s movie in front you. Seriously though, brother, so what if you fill the stereotype or you don't? You love Jasper, right?"
"More than anything," I responded immediately.
"And, you love him just the way he is, right?"
"Of course."
"Well, then isn't that all that really matters?"
"I know you're right. Loving Jasper is the easiest thing in the world. When I'm with him, it doesn't matter to me what other people think about us. I just don't know how to act around people sometimes when I'm by myself, or with Bella or Angela..." I trailed off.
Alice just smiled at me for a minute without speaking. She had a glint in her eye, and I knew what she meant.
"You and Jasper just get lost in your own little world together sometimes. You've been together almost two years now, and you still look like you can't get enough of each other."
Thinking about Jasper took me out of my melancholy, and a goofy grin was suddenly plastered on my face.
"And, you know what?" Ali continued. "Don't fight it if you do fit the stereotype sometimes. I mean, so what if you let Bella paint your toenails when you lived together."
"She told you that?" I could feel my cheeks turning red.
"Who told who what?" As if on cue, Bella waltzed into the kitchen.
"You told Alice that I let you paint my toenails."
"You should know by now that there's no hiding anything from Alice! I recommended a color to her, and she wanted to know why I knew it would go with her skin tone. Besides, she wouldn't say anything to anyone."
I just shook my head at her, but she knew I wasn't really mad.
"More importantly, do you notice anything different about me?" Bella asked coyly.
I eyed her up and down. Her hair was the same. Her outfit fell under what she called her "extreme casual" style.
And then something on her hand caught the light and shimmered.
"He finally did it!" I nearly shouted.
"You knew?" she gasped.
"I helped him pick out that hunk of rock on your finger, silly."
"I knew he didn't pick it out on his own!"
"He mostly did," I said scooping Bella up into a bear hug. "I just pointed him in the right direction."
"Well, you both have excellent taste," Bella grinned as I released her.
Alice sniffed.
"Oh, Alice, this ring is perfect for me and you know it. We don't all want our hand to be weighed down in carats."
"I know, I know," Alice said. "I just thought I would have been consulted."
"Sharing a womb and then living 18 years with you prepared me well enough, Ali."
"Oh, get over it, Alice!" Rosalie entered the kitchen. "You did a fabulous job helping Emmett pick out mine. Now, come on, I want to ogle Ryan Reynolds while I'm still single."
I popped some popcorn and then joined the girls out in the living room. Though we did put in a movie and we did ogle Ryan Reynolds, we spent a lot of the evening talking about what our respective significant others did for us for Valentine's Day. It made me feel like one of the girls, but after my talk with Alice, I realized I really didn't mind. I made Bella relay the way Jake proposed to her in detail, and even though she didn't really enjoy being the center of attention most of the time, I knew she was happy to share her engagement with us.
Despite feeling like I was succumbing to girliness by the end of the evening, I had a nice time just relaxing and talking about frivolous things. I may have even let Alice paint my toenails, which made her so strangely joyous, I had to ask.
"Eddie, I grew up with two brothers. Do you know how many times I wanted to give you a makeover?"
"We played dress-up when we were kids!"
"Yeah, and you stopped playing with me when you were about 10. Had I known you would have been open to nail polish, my whole adolescence might have been different."
I looked up at Bella, who just shook her head, trying not to laugh.
"Well, there wouldn't have been a soul at Forks High who didn't know that I was gay, that's for sure, but you realize, I'm drawing the line at the toe nails, right?"
"Not even a clear coat for your fingernails?" Alice pouted.
She knew I still felt guilty for snapping at her earlier, so it didn't take a lot for me to give in.
When I returned home that night, Jasper had laughed at my nails for a good solid five minutes before he was calm enough to speak. After he made fun of me and called Emmett to have him make fun of me, I made him get serious. We talked about my conversation with Alice, and I told Jasper about Stefan's reaction to me in the lab.
I knew that even though he was a proud gay man, he felt like a square peg in a round hole sometimes, too, but he did confirm that it always seemed easier to deal with when we were together.
"Shopping sometimes," he shook his head. "Once the conversation veers off of fashion, it just gets irritating. I don't care about celebrity gossip or who cheated on who or tiny rat dogs that you can carry in your purse."
"Don't care about celebrities? You read In Style!"
"Just because there are celebrities in it, doesn't mean it's gossip. Wait, how do you know that there are celebrities in In Style?"
"Well, sometimes they have recipes in there for entertaining," I said meekly. "Bella showed me."
Jasper, thankfully, knew better than to tease me further, so he just gave me a knowing smirk.
"So, you want me to come visit you at the lab sometime, babe?" he asked.
"What are you suggesting?" A brief image of Jasper wearing a white coat bending me over a lab table flickered in my head.
"What are you thinking?"
I sighed, "Something that can't happen. I don't want to lose my internship."
"Nothing like that," Jasper snickered. "But, maybe, I ought to meet this clown you work with."
I raised an eyebrow at him.
He sighed. "You know, he probably doesn't know very many openly gay people. Maybe, he needs to see that not all of the stereotypes are true."
"Says my extremely well-dressed boyfriend," I couldn't stop myself, and before I knew it, I was wedged into a headlock.
"Okay, okay," I relented as I tried to wiggle myself out of his grip. "That's actually a much more reasonable way to handle it than anything I thought of."
Jasper released me and smiled at me smugly as I continued. "He probably doesn't know many gay guys. I mean, he's a Bio nerd like me. The only time sex comes up is when it has to do with cell reproduction."
Jasper got a gleam in his eye then, and effectively ended the conversation,
"Maybe you need a refresher course then?"
He proceeded to pin me down again with an entirely different intent, and this time, I didn't try to squirm out of it.
Even though I said I'd bring Jasper by the lab sometime. I successfully avoided it for a few weeks. We were both busy, trying to get ahead on our school work before we left for Spring Break. Though Jasper promised that we would go to Mexico, we both decided that we should save our money in case we didn't get steady work this summer. Odds were that I was going to be stuck with an unpaid internship, so I couldn't really afford to be traipsing around Mexico for a week. Especially since, we didn't want to go to any place like Cancun where there were always cheap Spring Break prices. Not to mention, we were also putting money aside to throw Emmett a bachelor party.
Instead, we just decided to go camping in Canada for a few days and planned to drive up to Garibaldi Park, north of Vancouver. It was close to our two year anniversary, and we both really wanted to spend some time alone, away from school, away from family, away from strangers and their prying assumptions, and away from all of the crazy women in our life talking about wedding plans. Even though Bella and Jake were planning on a long engagement, because Rosalie was in the throes of planning her summer wedding, which apparently was a short engagement, conversation generally tended in that direction. Emmett had been spending a lot of time hiding out in our apartment.
So, the last Friday before break, I was finishing up some work in the lab when Jasper came to pick me up. We were going to drive up to Vancouver, stay the night in a motel, and then make our way to the park in the morning.
He knocked on the partly ajar door to the makeshift office the interning students shared as I was just finishing entering some data. Chelsea and Stefan who were also completing some data entry looked up. Chelsea's jaw dropped a little, but Jasper, always unaware of how gorgeous he was didn't notice because his eyes were locked on mine. I knew that it was my call how to act with Jasper around my labmates, but his gray-blue gaze decided it for me. I stood up from my desk and walked up to Jasper, giving him a quick hug and a gentle kiss on the lips.
That was enough to get Stefan's attention as well, so I turned to both of them and introduced Jasper.
"Guys, this is my boyfriend, Jasper."
"Jasper, this is Chelsea and Stefan."
Jasper nodded to both of them.
"Nice to meet you both," a twinge of drawl in his voice.
I could see Stefan sizing Jasper up, clearly not sure what to do with this new development. Jasper was well-dressed, not to mention hot, but he wasn't a twink. If Jasper was aware that he was being scrutinized, which I'm sure he was, he chose to ignore it.
"You about ready to go?"
"Yep," I answered. "I just finished entering my data about a minute ago. I'm ready to get the hell out of here."
"Are you two going somewhere for Spring Break?" Chelsea managed to regain her voice.
"Yeah, we're going up to Canada," I answered.
"Skiing?" she suggested.
"Nah, we're going camping."
I turned to see how Stefan was taking in the information. Much to my amusement, he looked confused.
"Edward, I didn't take you for an outdoorsman," he said awkwardly.
Jasper snorted at me, because I really wasn't.
"Well, I wouldn't call myself an outdoorsman, not like Jasper. But, I used to go camping a lot growing up."
"Oh, yeah?" he looked back and forth to both Jasper and me, trying to process this new development. "You're an outdoorsman?"
Jasper just shrugged. "I don't know about all that. I fish; I hunt; I hike; I camp; I used to work summers on a cattle ranch. I guess I know my way around the outdoors."
Jasper turned away from Stefan's confused face and back to me, "Ready, babe?"
"Yeah, let's go." I grabbed my coat and turned to my two labmates – one confused and one fighting her curious arousal. "Bye, guys! Have a good break!"
As soon as we were out of earshot, Jasper started chuckling.
"Wow, that boy is sheltered."
"No kidding," I agreed. "I think his parents are from somewhere in Eastern Europe where there's not a lot of open homosexuality."
"It's a good thing I didn't do this then."
He turned toward me and pressed me against a wall, kissing me languidly.
"Mmm..." I said after he broke away. "That probably would have made his head explode. Now, come on, let's get away from this place."
Everything went according to plan, and Saturday morning, we found ourselves entering the park. We spent the first day hiking to the campsite. I wasn't lying to Stefan. My dad took us camping all the time when Em and I were kids, but this was something different entirely. When Jasper Hale camped, he didn't go half-assed. Even though we were in a provincial park with designated campsites, he still went out into the wilderness in as remote a location as possible. I was a little worried because even though it was mild during the day, temperatures dipped quite a bit at night. Jasper insisted that winter camping was "fun," and that I should just sit back and enjoy it.
I was exhausted by the time we reached camp. I begrudgingly helped him set up our four season tent, but I could only watch, wrapped in a thermal blanket, as he set up a fire and his camping stove to boil some water. I didn't know how Les Stroud could do this with only a pocket tool and a harmonica. I was starting to worry that Jasper was going to start setting animal traps when he procured some freeze-dried noodle soup and peanut butter sandwiches he made before we set out for the campsite.
We should have slept in mummy-style sleeping bags, separately, Jasper said, but I couldn't bear the thought of not curling up next to him. So, we had sort of a makeshift sleeping bag that we fashioned out of two traditionally-shaped sleeping bags and put sleeping pads underneath. Everything was made out of some high tech material, and I figured our body heat would make up for it. We'd have to sleep close, which I had no problem with.
I was so tired that first night, that I fell asleep almost immediately after tucking myself against Jasper's side, barely noticing the hard ground beneath me.
I woke up a little stiff and sore the next morning, but hearing the birds chirping and seeing the sun make its way over the horizon and up over the trees made it worth it. Jasper and I had a relaxing morning, sipping instant coffee and eating reconstituted scrambled eggs and frying pan biscuits which were remarkably good.
It warmed up enough during the day that we went for a long hike. There wasn't a lot of gradation in the elevation, for which I was grateful. Even though Jasper scoffed a little, we hiked along a marked trail up to one of the lakes in the park.
Breathtaking didn't even come close to describing the still water of the lake. The surrounding trees were reflected in a near-perfect mirror image in the water. Even though the deciduous trees had yet to sprout leaves, the pine and fir trees added a bit of color to the scene. It made me wish that I had brought a camera, because it was an image I never wanted to forget. Luckily, Jasper had anticipated potential photo ops, and he pulled his small camera out of one of his many cargo pockets.
We spent an hour at the lake. The sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, so it was almost warm as we lounged around on its banks. We had been eating what Jasper called "gorp" as we hiked, but I was still famished. We ate a quick lunch that consisted of energy bars and jerky. I found that I was quickly discovering a love for turkey jerky.
Jasper took a few more pictures before we left, when the sun was lower and creating shadows. He looked so thoughtful as he tried out different angles.
"I think I want to start drawing again," he said thoughtfully. "I used to really enjoy it. It was a good outlet."
I knew that Jasper sketched. Alice told me he was talented, but he didn't like showing me his drawings. They were mostly fashion designs and I think he was a little embarrassed about them. He told me that father found his sketchbook once and pretended he didn't exist for about a week.
After he set the camera down, I got up and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.
"Going to try your hand at landscapes?" we were standing on an incline, so I was able to rest my chin on his shoulder.
"I think so," he said, looking out at the trees and their perfect reflection in the still water.
"I think that's a great idea, to start drawing again," I said. "I know it's not quite the same thing, but playing the piano has really helped keep me sane."
"Will you play for me sometime?" he turned to capture my lips in his.
"Will you show me your drawings?"
"If you play the piano for me."
"Well, then, yes. Whenever you want."
The way he smiled at me in response made my heart melt. I don't know why I hadn't played for him before. I always went to the practice rooms at weird times, usually when I wanted to be alone and often late at night when Jasper was buried in history books. I never really got used to playing in front of people, other than my mom. It was something important about me, though. I wanted to share my life with Jasper, and that included everything about me.
When we got back to our camp, I offered to make dinner so Jasper could have some time to draw before we lost the sunlight. It was weird having Jasper cook for me the night before anyway.
That second night, despite the hiking we did during the day, I wasn't tired enough to fall asleep right away. At first, I really enjoyed the silence, until I heard the sounds of the forest come alive. Jasper was out cold next to me, and I didn't want to wake him. When something howled for the second time, though, I threw myself against his body.
"Wha- what? What's wrong, babe?" a startled Jasper awoke.
I didn't say anything as I debated about whether or not I wanted to own up to my cowardliness.
The third howl made the decision for me.
I threw my arm around Jasper and buried my face in his warm neck.
"What was that?" I whispered.
His body started shaking, and I could feel him trying not to laugh.
"Probably just a coyote."
"You think this is funny?"
"No, no. But the odds of a coyote attacking us are really small, and we've stored all the food really tightly."
"Okay," I whispered, but my hesitation was obvious. "And, you... you're sure it wasn't a cougar?"
"Most of the Canadian cougars left in the wild are on Vancouver island."
"That's not very reassuring," I squeaked out.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, cougars definitely don't sound like that, babe."
We lay in silence for a moment as Jasper wrapped his arms around me. He stopped laughing when he realized that I was actually scared.
"Jasper," I whispered.
"Yes, Ed?"
"When do bears come out of hibernation?"
He chuckled softly. "I told you not to watch that show on bear attacks."
"They randomly attack sometimes, you know, black bears and grizzly bears, and wouldn't they be more irritable when they are waking up out of hibernation?"
"You don't need to worry about irritable grizzlies, babe."
"Are you sure?"
He silenced my question by rolling us over so that he was on top of me and his tongue was doing a quick tango with the sensitive flesh of my ear.
"Yes," he whispered breathily into my ear. "I'm sure."
"Okay," I squeaked out.
He kissed me until I was a senseless puddle underneath him. He pulled away until he was balanced on his elbows on top of me, looking down into my eyes with such an intense expression that it went straight to my dick. Unfortunately, another howl in the distance broke the spell, and I think he could see the irrational fear in my eyes battling with the lust. He leaned down and murmured, "I'll keep you safe," into my ear. Then he lay back down and wrapped himself protectively around me.
"I'm sorry I'm acting like such a pussy," I whispered to him.
"Don't worry about it, love. There are a lot of strange noises in the woods at night. Anyway, you're making me feel really manly."
"Hmph," I murmured sleepily into his chest. "You already are manly."
If he responded, I didn't hear him, because the next thing I remember was waking up still tucked in his arms.
"See?" his voice broke the morning silence. "I kept the bears away for you."
I groaned.
"You're not going to let me forget about this, are you?"
"I thought you were cute last night," he teased. "But, don't worry, I won't tell Em."
A cackle escaped my lips. "Go ahead. I own Em on embarrassing camping stories."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, I probably shouldn't tell you, but one of the last times we went camping with Dad... we were probably 14 and 15, he freaked the fuck out over a possum."
Jasper burst out laughing.
"A possum?"
"Yeah, this was during the summer, and it was unseasonably hot. So, one night, Em was just sleeping on top of his sleeping bag. Anyway, this possum managed to get into our tent, and it brushed past his feet. He shrieked like Alice and ran out of the tent."
Jasper was practically guffawing at this point.
"That's not the best part. It was a new moon so there wasn't much light outside, and he tripped over our fire pit and face-planted in the ash pile from our fire. In his defense, once we figured out what was going on and found a flashlight, we eventually found the possum trying to get into our food. It was the biggest possum I've ever seen in my life. It was like an R.O.U.S."
"An R.O.U.S.?" Jasper gasped, trying to catch his breath.
"A rodent of unusual size." I filled in.
"Oh yeah! Rosie made me watch that movie all the time growing up," Jasper's laughter was starting to calm down.
"Yeah, Dad and I have been teasing him about the R.O.U.S. for years."
"Remind me to bring that out on a special occasion," Jasper said maliciously.
"Just tell him that my dad told you," I said.
Eventually, we crawled out of our warm cocoon and had breakfast. That day, Jasper decided that he wanted to go tracking. I think he was partly trying to prove to me that there were no bears in the area, and that the coyote we heard the night before didn't come anywhere near our camp. With Jasper's knowledge and keen eye, we found a lot of deer tracks and some elk prints in a grassy area. We even found what Jasper guessed was a fox den.
Eventually, we did uncover some coyote tracks. They weren't far enough from our campsite for me to be completely comforted, but Jasper did show me the snowshoe hare tracks that the coyotes had been following.
"See, babe," he reasoned. "There's no way a coyote would bother us when it could have a nice, juicy hare."
I teased him about setting traps, and he said, in all seriousness, "I would, but since we're in a provincial park, trapping is prohibited."
"I was kidding," I said.
"I know," he said with a nod. "I wasn't."
"Well, maybe next time we can just go out in the middle of nowhere and live off the land."
"Aw, I love you for suggesting it, but I'm willing to stick to parks, babe."
"Good," I exhaled. "I don't think I could bring myself to eat a bunny."
He just laughed and shook his head.
By the third night, I was beginning to feel a little more energized. When we laid down to go to sleep, I couldn't keep my hands to myself and, quickly, had Jasper matching my aroused state. I shoved my hand underneath his long johns and wrapped it around his length. A moment later, I felt his lips attach to my neck.
It was pitch black in the tent, which only served to heighten the sensation of Jasper's lips and hands peppering my body. I decided that when we got back home, we were going to have to play with blindfolds. The air outside our tent was chilly, but the heat we were creating in the tent was enough for me to break apart from Jasper and whip off the sweatshirt I was wearing over my long-sleeved thermal. It was all the break Jasper needed to roll us over so he was on top of me making quick work of my sweatpants and long underwear in a swift motion.
"Shit!" I exclaimed, once my brain caught up to what was going to happen.
"What, babe?" Jasper panted. "Are you too cold?"
"No, no, that's not it," I sat up and frantically started scrambling for my backpack. "We need lube."
He pulled me back down and silence me with a kiss.
"I'll get it, babe. You stay warm."
After some bumping noises and softly muttered curses, Jasper returned to our sleeping bag nest and was placing wet kisses down my body.
I groaned. "No teasing, Jazz. I want you, now."
He made a small humming noise in agreement and the next thing I knew, a wet finger was pushing into me. When he slid his thickness into me a minute later, I nearly cried with the sensation.
"God damn, you feel so good inside me."
He leaned forward to kiss me while he pumped in and out of me, my dick sandwiched between our bodies, but eventually my moans ceased being entirely pleasurable.
"Are you all right, Ed?" Jasper questioned as he propped himself up.
"The ground's a little hard on my back," I admitted. "But, it felt so good."
He kissed my forehead gently.
"You should have said something sooner, babe."
He pulled out of me and gently guided me until I was on my elbows and knees, my ass sticking up in the air.
"Think your knees can take it?" he asked into my ear as his warm body pressed against mine and he re-entered my waiting hole.
"Mmm hmm," I nodded, even though I knew Jasper couldn't see me in the dark. "Not gonna last long."
"Ugh, me neither," he said, resuming his rhythm.
As predicted, it wasn't much longer before Jasper's hand reached around and began to pump me as his thrusts sped up erratically. I could feel myself getting increasingly louder as I felt the approach of orgasm. Something about being in the dark, all alone in the woods, feeling Jasper's ministrations so acutely, made me just let myself go. I came into Jasper's hand with a scream that would have probably scared away both coyotes and grizzly bears, not to mention any other human beings crazy enough to be camping in early March.
"Fuck... That was... so hot... babe," Jasper panted out as he continued thrusting into me.
I could feel my knees starting to give out, so I gave him warning and lowered down onto my stomach. Apparently the change in position was all it took, because Jasper's own release came with a babbling slew of words. He lowered himself gently onto me, and I welcomed his weight.
I couldn't help it and started laughing after Jasper and I rolled apart.
"You gonna let me in?" he asked, a twinge of annoyance in his voice.
"We just had tent sex. We really are a Brokeback Mountain joke now."
Jasper snickered.
"You still have a lot to learn about being a cowboy," he teased.
"You could always show me,"
"Why would I do that? You already roped yourself a bull."
I groaned at his bad joke, but didn't say anything, because I appreciated the sweet sentiment behind it.
I slept like a baby that night and forgot all about the coyotes.
When the time came for us to pack up the camp and head home, I was actually a little depressed about it. It had been nice for it to just be me and Jasper together, and nice to just enjoy the silence. Admittedly, though, it would be nice to take a shower and sleep in our bed.
Still, it was with reluctance that I helped Jasper pile our gear into the car.
As soon as I had cell reception, I called Emmett.
"Hey, bro," he said.
"Four!" I said cheerfully, not bothering with a greeting.
"What?"
"Four plus international waters."
"You son of a bitch," he said slowly.
"And don't tell me that Canada doesn't count. You need passports to get in now."
"I'll catch up eventually, little bro, mark my words."
"Emmett, you're getting married in a few months, doesn't that mean the end of your sex life as you know it?" I couldn't help but rib him about it; it helped hide my bitterness that Jasper and I didn't have the opportunity to get married.
"You underestimate your future sister-in-law," Emmett started.
I groaned. "Too much, Em. Too much."
"Says the man who lost his virginity ON MY BED!" I had to pull the phone away from my ear. It was loud enough that Jasper heard it from his position in the driver's seat, and he started laughing.
"Love you, too, Emmy," I said as I hung up the phone.
"He's not really still pissed about that, is he?" Jasper asked.
"Wouldn't you be?" I asked.
He looked thoughtful for a moment.
"I guess," he started. "But, I'm really glad I didn't lose my virginity in a dorm room."
"Yeah," I agreed. "Anyway, it was worth it. You're worth it."
He turned his head to me and smiled at me almost shyly before he spoke, "I wouldn't change it for anything."