A/N: Here we go, chapter five! And the plot continues to creep along at a blistering three miles per hour...

Disclaimer: Kung Fu Panda belongs to Dreamworks.

Chapter 5: If It Tastes Good, It Probably Isn't Good For You

Lin was on her way to the peach tree after lunch, amazed at how long it continued to bear fruit, when she heard a noise coming from the tree. As she approached, she recognized the sound as a flute, playing a slow, soft melody. She enjoyed music, but it wasn't often that she had an opportunity to listen, so she continued on her way up. She figured Oogway was probably playing the flute; he certainly seemed like the type to appreciate such an art.

However, she was met with something of a surprise when she reached the top of the stairs. She stood and gaped at the sight. Shifu was sitting at the edge of the precipice, facing out toward the valley and playing the flute. If she could use one word to describe the music, she would call it gentle. And that was definitely not the word she would use to describe Shifu.

His ear twitched back and he abruptly stopped playing, sighing heavily as he stood up. "What is it?"

"Oh, uh..." She wasn't quite sure what excuse to make. "I just... Was just taking a walk."

He turned around and glared at her, the flute hanging from one hand.

"I, uh, liked the flute... Music..." She clasped her hands together, feeling incredibly self-conscious. "I just didn't think you'd... Yeah. I'll go now."

"You didn't think I'd what?" He sounded annoyed.

"Y'know, I didn't think you'd..." She tried to think of the right way to phrase it. "...Be into that type of thing."

He raised one eyebrow. "'That type of thing?'"

"Yeah, like a fine art type of thing."

"And who is to say that kung fu isn't a fine art?" he shot back.

"You really don't want to have this discussion with me," she warned him. "You won't be able to get me to shut up."

"Ah, good point," he agreed.

She laughed, surprised at the joke (although he probably had meant it). "Nice, nice."

"You're... Not insulted?"

"You never met my family, obviously," she replied, finally feeling comfortable enough to approach the tree and start climbing.

"What are you doing?" he asked, sounding completely scandalized.

"Picking peaches, you want one?" She'd made it to the lowest branch and was reaching for a nice, juicy one.

"This is the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom! You can't just- just-"

"Catch." She threw him the peach, and resisted the urge to laugh at the furious look on his face. "Whatsamatter? Oogway said it was okay."

He glared at her some more. "Get down."

"Oh, like you never ate a peach from up here," she grumbled, grabbing the nearest fruit and jumping back down. "Peaches are meant to be eaten. That's why they're so delicious."

"This tree is special. Master Oogway planted this tree nearly a thousand years ago, when he first came to the valley." For a moment, he looked up at the tree with a fond expression on his face.

"Huh," she replied, biting into her peach. "Tha's interesting."

Shifu did not look pleased.

"So, uh... How long've you known Oogway?" She thought it would be best if she turned the conversation away from peaches.

"A long time," he replied. "Over thirty years... Almost my entire life."

"Wow." She looked down at the half-eaten peach in her hand, trying to think of anyone she'd known for comparatively long. "You got me beat there," she admitted.

"Have you even been alive for that long?" As usual, he'd managed to miss her point.

"No," she grumbled. "I don't think so, anyway."

"You don't think so?"

"Look, I, uh... I gotta get started with dinner, and dessert. I already finished up my dough, I just need some peaches." She was expecting him to yell at her again, but he seemed calm.

"Why do you need peaches from this tree?" He gestured toward the tree, frowning at her in disapproval.

"There're a lotta reasons." She did her best to think of some serious reasons. "Well, the tree's right here on the grounds. Why pay for peaches when they're right here? And they're the most delicious peaches I've ever had."

He looked unconvinced.

"I hate waste, too, and it's wasteful not to eat 'em. They'll fall, and just rot there on the ground. Besides, why would Oogway plant a peach tree and then not want anyone to eat the peaches?"

"That's not the point," he reasoned back. "The point is that it's disrespectful to eat them!"

"So you, uh... Don't want a pie?"

He raised his eyebrows, but didn't reply to her.

"A Sacred Peach Pie of Heavenly Wisdom," she clarified. "With a brown sugar topping."

"You can't be serious."

"There are very few things that I am serious about," she informed him, "and pie is one of them."

"Well, I'm sure one part of that is accurate." He eyed the peach tree again, a frown still firmly on his face. "A brown sugar topping?"

"Yeah, with cinnamon baked right in," she added to sweeten the deal. "There's nothing disrespectful about cinnamon, right?"

He glared at her, and one eye twitched ominously.

She paused with the peach halfway to her mouth, and decided against taking another bite. "...Okay, I guess I'll just... Make a different kinda pie."

"Feel free to make a peach pie," he told her. "Just not with these peaches." He looked pointedly toward the stairs, then back at her with raised eyebrows.

Lin knew when to take a hint, so she beat a hasty retreat. However, she was stubborn, she didn't have time to go back down into the valley before dinner, and she also knew when to go over somebody's head.

Tai Lung sighed as he sat on the floor in the back of the training hall, attempting to meditate. He'd always been bad at sitting around and not thinking about anything. He couldn't even sit around without doing anything; even when he was trying to be still and calm he could still feel his tail twitching back and forth. That was probably why Master Shifu was making him meditate in the middle of the day. He always liked to lecture Tai Lung on the importance of having a clear and focused mind, but it had never come as easily to him as the physical aspects of kung fu had.

Plus, ever since Lin had started forcing him to eat with Master Shifu he'd been getting hungrier in between meals, making it harder to concentrate. He knew he was eating less at meals, because he thought Master Shifu might lecture him about over-eating and make him run laps or do push ups. He was probably over-thinking the situation, but when it came to his training he could never be too careful. And around Master Shifu, everything was always about training.

The door to the training hall opened and he almost jumped at the sudden noise. He was hoping that it was Lin, with a tray of tea and cookies, but when he heard the footsteps he knew it was Master Shifu. Surprisingly enough, Lin always seemed to be bustling, even when she was moving slowly, unlike Shifu's calm and steady gait.

'Master Shifu,' he thought to himself; if he started dropping the title in his mind, he was bound to slip up in his speech. Lin's informality toward absolutely everyone was starting to rub off on him.

"Tai Lung."

"Yes, Master?" He tried to sound calm and quiet, like he had just been roused from deep meditation. Instead he sounded kind of raspy.

Master Shifu hesitated, which was very unusual. "You may end your meditation."

Tai Lung jumped to his feet and bowed, then straightened up and waited for an order.

"...Do you eat peaches from the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom?" he asked. He didn't seem angry, though, just curious.

"Uh..." He wasn't sure if he should admit the truth or not. Then again, if he lied Master Shifu would probably be able to tell. "Yes, Master. I do."

"And you find that... Appropriate?"

He was in trouble. "Well, uh, they are peaches. I mean, they're edible." It didn't sound like a very convincing argument. "Master Oogway eats them," he added in hopes of absolving himself.

"Yes, I know," Master Shifu sighed. He stared off into space after that, and Tai Lung stood in awkward silence, wondering if he was supposed to say anything.

After about half a minute, he decided to break the silence. "Um... Master?"

"Ah, yes." Shifu blinked a few times, his eyes refocusing. "Now that your mind has been focused, I think it is time you learned a new scroll of kung fu."

"Yes, Master."

"Come with me." He turned and headed toward the doors.

Tai Lung followed at a respectable distance; they were most likely headed to the massive library where the Thousand Scrolls of Kung Fu were kept. There, Master Shifu would reveal which scroll he would master next. Normally he was incredibly excited to learn a new style of kung fu, but he was still lost in thought about the awkward turn his meals had taken. He knew that he was going to go crazy if something didn't change- and that was when a simple, yet brilliant idea hit him. The next opportunity he had to slip away to the kitchen- maybe when he was supposed to be taking his bath- he would have to talk Lin into it.

Lin checked the tally she kept to count her days spent at the Jade Palace, and counted twice. It had been two weeks since she had been appointed the official cook of the place, and to her that meant one thing: two weeks was the cut-off. If she didn't warm up to a person in two weeks' time, then she would never like them. If she did, then she would probably end up liking that person a lot. At least, according to her memories of past experiences. And, of course, it had happened just before her cut-off.

She was starting to like Shifu.

"Well... Crap," she muttered to herself, folding up her tally and stuffing it back into an inside pocket. Normally she wouldn't have any qualms over actually enjoying someone's company, except for the one fact that still remained: Shifu did not, by any stretch of the imagination, like her.

At least he liked her cooking. It was something to start with. When he'd tasted her bananas foster, that was the first time she'd seen him truly enjoy anything she'd seen him eat, and she was determined to top herself.

He'd made her laugh, too. Try as she might, she could never dislike anyone who made her laugh. And it wasn't that Shifu was a generally funny person; even when he'd made that funny comment he was serious. Besides that, she sort of enjoyed fighting with him, in a sick sado-masochistic kind of way. She was just getting over her natural shyness around him, too, so there were much better fights to come. It struck her, in that moment, just how much she was like all the other women in her family.

She walked over to the oven to check on her pie; it was almost done, so the only thing left for her to do was to figure out a way to keep the pie safe from Tai Lung.

"What're you doing?"

"Ack!" She slammed the oven closed, instinctively shielding it with her body. "Christ on a cracker, Tai Lung! You almost made me pee my pants!"

Tai Lung made a disgusted face as he plopped down in a chair and put his feet up on the table. "Ewwwwww."

"Get your feet offa the table." She wiped her hands on her apron, which she had found buried deep inside a closet in the kitchen. "And aren't you supposed to be training right now?"

"I wanted to ask you a favor, actually." He leaned forward and gave her an innocent, wide-eyed look.

"Okay, what's this favor?" She headed toward the cabinets, sure that he was going to ask for food.

"Will you, uh... Eat dinner with me tonight?"

"Eh?" She shot her usual confused expression at him. "What're you talking about?"

"Please?" He glanced toward the door, then lowered his voice. "If I have to eat another meal alone with Master Shifu I think I might lose it."

"He's not that bad," she sighed, relieved that the request was so simple.

"But it's just... Weird. We don't really talk about anything. There's nothing to talk about with Master Shifu except training, and I really love kung fu, but I don't wanna get lectured while I'm eating." His eyes miraculously grew even wider and his ears drooped a little. "Pleeeeaaase?"

Lin rolled her eyes at the display. "It was my idea in the first place to use your cuteness against people, so don't go thinking it'll work on me." She walked over the the stove as she spoke, to avoid looking at him; to be honest, it would work on her if he kept it up. "Besides, a family should eat together, and if I stay Shifu won't." She was also worried that if she spent too much time around Shifu he would get fed up with her and fire her.

"Sure he will! I mean, everything was fine last night, wasn't it?"

She refused to turn around, because she knew he was still giving her that cutesy look. "I don't wanna interfere."

"But you already interfered when you made us eat together in the first place!" Tai Lung whined. "Pleeeaaase!"

"No," she snapped, but she knew that she was going to end up caving in.

"Please, please, please?"

She opened a drawer and pretended to be looking for something. "Nope."

"Please, please, please, please?"

She jumped, startled when Tai Lung grabbed her leg. When she turned to look at him she was greeted by the sight of him laying prostrate on the ground, clutching her leg and staring up at her with watery eyes. "Fine," she grumbled, prying her leg out of his grasp. "But you owe me."

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou," he spouted out, jumping to his feet. "It'll be fine, I promise, you won't regret it!"

"I already do." Lin licked her hand, then smoothed down some ruffled fur on his head.

"Ew!" He batted her hand away and rubbed at the spot she'd just fixed.

"Get outta here before you get in trouble."

"Okay, seeya!" Tai Lung bounded out of the room with such energy that Lin had to wonder if all snow leopard children were like that, or if he just had something wrong with him.

She groaned to herself when she realized what she'd agreed to. Shifu had been civil to her before, but she had no idea what his reaction to eating together would be. Either they would all eat in awkward silence or she would somehow piss him off. Either way it would be a pain in her ass. She really should have said no, but it seemed to mean a lot to Tai Lung, and even though she'd only known him for two weeks she was already a big softy for him.

There was no saving herself; she had agreed to eat at the table, and now she was going to have to suffer through it. "Maybe it won't be so bad," she told herself, in an attempt to convince herself that it was true. It didn't work.

A/N: That's right, a cliffhanger. It's my special gift to all of you.