A/N: Well, here it is in all its glory! Sorry it's a little late... I stink, I know. Anyway, since I keep missing deadlines here's an extra-long chapter! It's like two chapters in one! Also consider it a bribe, since I may not get the next chapter done on time- I'm graduating in three weeks, so I'm in a real time crunch right now.

Disclaimer: Kung Fu Panda is the property of Dreamworks blah blah blah.

Chapter 8: The Kitchen is the Heart of the Home

It was another sunny day in the Valley of Peace- Lin's twentieth day there, according to her ongoing tally. Things around the Jade Palace had been quiet since her pie escapade, and she and Shifu hadn't exactly spoken to each other in the past six days, either. Tai Lung had been begging her to join them for dinner again, but she thought it would be best to just avoid another awkward situation for the time being. They both knew that she would give into the begging sooner or later, though.

Lin took a good look around the kitchen, which she had just cleaned top to bottom, and actually considered taking a break. It was about halfway between lunch and dinner, though, so she decided instead that it would be nice to try bringing tea and some almond cookies to Tai Lung and Shifu again. It might at least get Tai Lung off her back for a little while, and she figured that if she was going to eventually join them for dinner again that she should make an effort to reduce the awkwardness that would result.

She managed to make it through the doors to the training hall without spilling any tea, which she took as a good sign. However, once she actually entered the hall and took a look around, it appeared to be empty. "Dammit," she grumbled to herself, frustrated that she'd lugged tea all the way down there for nothing.

"Lin?" Tai Lung suddenly dropped from the ceiling, startling her.

"What the hell?" she replied, then set the tray of tea and cookies down in case anyone else came out of nowhere and scared her.

He made a beeline for the tea and cookies, plopping down on the floor in front of the tray. "Thanks!" he exclaimed through a mouthful of almond cookie. "These're great!"

"You're welcome," she replied, peering up at the ceiling. She supposed it wasn't too unusual for someone training in kung fu to be up there, but it was still a little weird. "You're in here alone?"

"Yeah, Master Shifu had to go beat up some bandits." His voice took on a somewhat bitter tone. "And I'm not allowed to go."

"Really?" Lin decided to take some of the tea for herself, since Shifu wasn't about to join them.

"Yeah. They're these crocodiles who keep trying to get into the valley, and I could totally help get rid of them if Master Shifu let me go with him. I already mastered more scrolls of kung fu than anyone else my age, and he said himself that I'm the best student he's ever had. I could probably beat those crocodiles up by myself!"

"You ever beat anyone up before?" she asked, taking a seat on the floor next to him.

"No, but I could if I wanted to."

"Well, you're probably not allowed to go 'cause you're inexperienced," she reasoned.

"But I fight against Master Shifu all the time!" he argued, grabbing another cookie. "B'sides, didn't you say I shouldn't let anyone tell me what I can't do?"

"Yeah, but I mean anyone other 'an me. Anyway, I don't think Shifu's actually trying to kill you when you guys do that. Crocodile bandits would probably, y'know... Try to kill you. I'm sure it's different when the person you're fighting is going all out." She figured that just one almond cookie couldn't hurt her.

"How would you know?" Tai Lung grumbled sullenly. "You've never been in a fight."

She couldn't help but laugh at that. "Kid, you got a lot to learn if you think the only people who get into scraps are kung fu masters and bandits."

He immediately cheered up at that. "You've been in a fight?" he asked excitedly.

"Ladies don't punch and tell." She doubted that telling such a story would work out in her favor, especially if it got back to Shifu. "Besides, it's boring as hell."

"Oh." Tai Lung immediately went back to sulking over being left behind.

Lin felt bad for the kid; she knew that it was too dangerous for him to go out and fight bandits, but she also remembered her own childhood, and what it felt like to be left behind. "Hey, I got an idea," she offered, hoping it would cheer him up. "Since Shifu's not around, why don't you and I take a little time off?"

He just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. How'm I gonna master all one thousand scrolls of kung fu if I go around taking time off? And if I do that, and Shifu finds out, he'll never take me seriously, and I'll never be allowed to go into battle."

"How's he gonna find out if we don't tell him?" she enticed, waggling her eyebrows.

"No way, no how. Not even if you did have more of these cookies."

"Not even if I let you pick out what we have for dinner?"

He hesitated then, obviously tempted by her offer. "Well... I guess just an hour or two couldn't hurt."

"Now that's the spirit!" She paused, then, with the realization that she had no idea what seven-year-old practitioners of kung fu did for fun. When she was seven, all she did for fun was roll in the mud and beat her brothers and sisters with sticks. "Uh... Wanna roll in the mud and beat each other with sticks?" she suggested.

Tai Lung slowly blinked at her, obviously confused. "...Seriously?"

"Nevermind," she replied quickly. "Whaddaya wanna do?"

"Uh..." He stared off into space for a while, his eye squinted. Then he sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping. "...I dunno."

"You don't know?" She was dumbfounded that a kid Tai Lung's age didn't know what to do with some free time. "What kinda kid are you, anyway?"

"Hey, you wanted to roll in mud!" he argued. "I mean, do you ever have time off?"

"Sometimes," she huffed, crossing her arms.

"Then what do you do with it?"

She hesitated a moment, blushing. "...Work."

"Ha!" he declared triumphantly.

"Well I go for a walk every day," she corrected quickly. "And I keep meaning to go to a bar..."

"Let's go to a bar!" he immediately suggested excitedly.

"No." She sat there and stared at the tea tray for a while, trying to think of something fun. "We could have lunch as a picnic."

"But what'll we do until then?"

"...Let's go see if Oogway wants to join in." She figured that the crazy old guy would at least know something fun that a kid could participate in.

"What'll Master Oogway say if he knows I'm taking time off, though?" Tai Lung fretted. "He might be angry. And what if he tells Master Shifu?"

"Just ask him if you can take some time off." She shrugged nonchalantly.

"This was a bad idea. I should just get back to training."

"Oh, no," Lin replied in her most forceful tone. "You're coming with me, whether you like it or not." She stood up, grabbed the tea tray, and stomped toward the door. "Let's go!"

Tai Lung gulped loudly as he approached Master Oogway up at the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom. The only reason he was even trying anything remotely like what he was about to do was because Lin was there with him. And also because she had agreed to take the blame if anything went wrong. "Master Oogway?" he asked quietly, ready to pull out all the cute kitten stops.

"Yes, young one?" Master Oogway was practicing Tai Chi forms under the shade of the pink peach blossoms; he didn't stop practicing, but he did smile gently in Tai Lung's direction.

"Well, I was kinda thinking... I mean, not that I normally think of stuff like this, but..." He paused to think of how he would phrase the question. "Do you think it would be alright if I took some time off today?"

"You mean because Shifu isn't here," Oogway replied, though the smile didn't fall from his face.

"Yeah," Lin answered for him. "It was my idea, the kid just seemed kinda stressed." She shrugged, then held out her tray to offer the old tortoise some tea.

"And are you planning to tell Shifu?" he asked, accepting the tea.

"Hell no."

"Okay, then." Oogway sipped at the tea, humming contentedly. "Another wild success."

"Master Oogway," Tai Lung cut in tentatively. "Would you also... Like to take some time off?"

"We need an idea man," Lin added.

"Today feels very much like a day of quiet meditation to me," he replied, then after Lin and Tai Lung reacted with blank expressions, scratched his head with one long claw. "You could also roll around in the mud."

Lin sat at the kitchen table, taking stock of her finances as she did every week. It was late at night, when the only company she had (or wanted, for that matter) was a steaming hot cup of tea. She was just finishing up when she saw movement from the corner of her eye, and turned toward the door.

Tai Lung stood there, a hopeful look on his face; he probably wanted a snack. "Are you waiting up for Master Shifu?"

"Go to bed," she replied in as much of a no-nonsense voice as she could muster.

"I could wait with you," Tai Lung offered hopefully.

"Nice try, kid."

"But I'm worried! What if Master Shifu got hurt? Wouldn't you feel bad for sending me to bed?" He stared at her with big, watery eyes, his hands clasped together.

"Probably not." Lin wasn't about to budge; she knew that Tai Lung was just trying to stay up late.

"Aw, but I'm not tired," he argued, dropping the adorable kitten act.

"Once you get into bed, you'll fall asleep," she reassured him. "And if anything's happened to Shifu you'll be the first to know. Now get outta here."

With a long-suffering sigh, Tai Lung slunk out of the kitchen, defeated.

She briefly thought of reconsidering and letting him stay up, just for the company, but she knew she wouldn't hear the end of it if Shifu came back to find Tai Lung up and about in the middle of the night.

She managed to finish up her finances pretty quickly, and decided to start on some other work. Then, next thing she knew, the subtle change of light in the room was signaling sunrise. She realized that the sun was rising and Shifu was still gone, and for a brief moment she may have just been a little bit worried. She dismissed it soon enough; he was a kung fu master, and he could handle himself. All it meant was that she was going to have another easygoing day. Maybe she'd even get to lay under the shade of the peach tree at the hottest part of the day, pull a straw hat down over her eyes, and take a little nap. Just the thought of it filled her with excitement. In fact, it fueled her as she cleaned up after herself and dragged out some pots and pans to start breakfast, the full weight of a sleepless night slowly overtaking her.

"Where's Master Shifu?" Tai Lung interrupted her daydreaming, taking a seat at the table.

"You're up early," she replied, hoping he wouldn't take the news too badly.

"Yeah, well... I woke up, so I figured I'd get up early." He pointedly crossed his arms and puffed out his chest a little, probably in an attempt to look tougher; it must have been a sign that he was worried.

"He'll be back," Lin reassured him. "If he can handle you, he can handle some bandits." She decided that the conversation needed a change of topic. "I picked some peaches for breakfast. Want one?"

"Sure." He sounded a little down. "So, what're you gonna do today?"

"I keep meaning to plant a vegetable garden," she started as she grabbed a peach and began slicing it up. "I figure I'll do that this morning. Then I'll make lunch, and we can eat together, then I'll take a nap under the peach tree, and after that Oogway's got this poetry I'm gonna read. And after that I'm gonna get a closer look at that vase fulla dead guys-"

"The Tenshu Army," Tai Lung corrected.

"-Yeah, them. And then I'm gonna clean my room, get some work done, make dinner, and the usual after that." She shrugged. "You?"

"Training," he replied simply.

"Don't overfill your schedule, now," she teased. "Why don't you warm up by helping me with the vegetable garden?" She served him the peach slices, then grabbed some batter she'd left standing overnight- a quick French recipe she'd picked up somewhere along the way.

"I don't know, I really should train..." He leaned back in his chair and watched her for a moment; she was currently heating up an upside down pan. "What're you making?"

"They're galettes, made from buckwheat, and they go really well with fresh fruit." She dropped some batter onto the pan and started spreading it. "You can have some if you help me out with my garden."

"That's cruel." He paused to consider the deal. "Okay, I'll help for a little while. Then I'm gonna go to the training hall." He nodded decisively.

"Excellent." Lin grinned at the prospect of having fresh vegetables mere minutes away from the kitchen.

"Like I said, it can't take too long. When Master Shifu gets back he's gonna look for me in the training hall, so I gotta be there."

"Right," she agreed, once again feeling a momentary twinge akin to worry. Tai Lung was probably right, though; it would probably only be another couple of hours until Shifu returned to train Tai Lung and berate her for something inconsequential. In the meantime, she didn't need to think about it.

"Lin?" For about the fifth time that night, Tai Lung was standing outside of Lin's room. "You seen Master Shifu yet?"

She dragged herself off of her floor and out to the hall to talk to him. "Kid, there's nothing to worry about." She knew that she probably sounded a little exasperated, but she couldn't help it. "He'll be back sooner or later, so just try not to think about it and go to bed."

"But I'm not even tired," he grumbled. "Besides, what if something happened? I could go-"

"You could," Lin interrupted, deciding a bribe was the best way to deal with the situation, "but I was just about to make some dessert."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He looked conflicted for a moment, as if he were really making the decision between running off to find Shifu and having sweets. "You're sure he's okay?"

"'Course I am," she replied with utmost confidence. "I even saved leftovers from dinner for him."

Tai Lung nodded decisively. "Okay. I'll have dessert, then."

"And you'll go to bed after you're done eating?" she prompted.

He let out a heavy sigh and frowned. "Yeah," he agreed reluctantly.

"C'mon, then."

Lin sat in her room, an enormous amount of tea nearby and a slew of blank papers littered over her floor. For some reason, she just couldn't concentrate on anything that night. She was currently attempting to write a grocery list for the next day, and she couldn't even remember what she needed to buy.

She dropped her unused brush on the floor and rubbed at her eyes, frustrated and tired. At the very least her ploy to stuff Tai Lung so full of food that he couldn't keep his eyes open had worked, and he had practically fallen asleep at the kitchen table by the time she was done with him. It was too bad that she couldn't solve her problem in the same way, since it was only a couple of hours until sunrise and even though she was exhausted she couldn't so much as close her eyes. She was just about to give up and try going for a walk when a noise caught her attention.

She didn't necessarily have above average hearing, but late at night (or more accurately, early in the morning) there wasn't a lot of background noise to deal with. So, Lin heard the door to the barracks swing open and immediately went about cleaning herself up, which mainly consisted of wiping her hands on the nearest piece of cloth. Once that was done, she made her way to the kitchen.

As she had expected, Shifu was there, and raiding her fruit bowl. "Hi," she greeted, and immediately went about finding something a little more hearty than an apple for him.

"Ugh," he grunted back, frowning when she held her hand out for the apple.

"Gimme that, you need something more filling," she ordered.

"Fine." He must have been tired to have given up so easily, but then again he looked like hell. He was filthy, his fur was sticking up every which way, and he sort of smelled.

It reminded Lin of herself when she'd first arrived in the Valley of Peace. "Siddown, already, you're in the way." She decided to take advantage of his exhaustion while she still could; it was a rare gift that she could say anything at all to him without an argument. She was still surprised when he actually got out of her way and sat down, though. "So I heard you beat down some crocodile bandits." Lin figured she'd have a better chance at carrying on a civil conversation if she tried to talk about kung fu. "How'd that go?"

"As usual," he replied shortly.

"Well, that's good news. I'd hate for it to be an unusual crocodile beat down." She rummaged through the various cabinets for something filling, but quick and easy to make while they talked. There were leftovers from dinner earlier that night, which had been scallion pancakes (Tai Lung's choice) and sweetened mashed red beans (a personal favorite of hers). There were beans left, and it only took a few minutes to make scallion pancakes, so she got started.

Shifu rolled his eyes, which was about as close to a good sign as she was used to getting from him.

"Guess what I did today," she continued as she set a place at the table for him.

"No."

She snorted a bit at his reply; despite his attitude toward her, Shifu still amused her. "I planted a vegetable garden." She returned to the kitchen counter and started chopping up scallions.

"Wow," was all he said.

"You sound like you don't wanna talk." She was in a good mood, so she decided to go easy on him.

"I would prefer to just eat an apple and go to bed." He leaned his head in his hand and yawned.

"Too bad," Lin said in her most cheerful voice. She started heating up a pan, then mixed some batter for the scallion pancakes. "I'll bet you ain't had anything to eat all day, and if you don't have dinner you won't be able to get up in the morning." She winced at how motherly that had sounded. "Besides, I'm already almost done cooking." She spooned some batter into one side of the pan, then filled the other side with a mound of beans.

Shifu turned around in his seat and narrowed his eyes at her. "...Why did you wait up for me?"

She laughed at the question. "What, you think I'd normally be asleep at this hour? Yeah, right. I was up working, and I heard you making a mess in here."

"Working?" he asked.

"Yep. Believe it or not, I actually don't just sit around here with my thumb up my ass." On that note, she dumped the heated food onto his plate. "Now eat."

He stared down at the food, making no move whatsoever to eat it. "I see what you're doing," he informed her.

"...My job?" she guessed. When that received no response, she let out a long sigh, picked up his chopsticks, and shoved them into his hand. "I don't got time to spoon feed you, so if you'd get over your paranoid delusions long enough to cram some food into your cram hole, that'd be nice."

"'Cram hole' is a new one," he commented, but dug into the food. He was finished within minutes, and clearing the table for her.

"Y'know," she observed, "your problem is that you're too bothered by an enormous number of things- you need to be more easygoing. Y'know, relax a bit."

Shifu glared at her as he put the dirty dishes in the wash basin.

"What? It's the truth. Why don't you try to spend at least a few hours not worrying about pointless crap?"

"Nothing I worry about is pointless," he replied. "And it's none of your business."

"I'm just saying, you'll live longer." She grabbed a rag and started to wipe down the table. "I'm all for working hard, but every now and then you gotta take it easy."

"I'll keep that in mind, in case I ever decide to avoid any semblance of responsibility in my life and become a shiftless layabout."

"Shiftless layabout?" she repeated. "You sound so old when you say shit like that."

"And you sound like a sailor... Well, pretty much all of the time."

"Hey, those men are heroes." She realized as she spoke that she had, for some reason, stopped cleaning and was just... Standing around and trading insults. It appeared to her as if Shifu were doing the same. "I thought you wanted to, y'know, go to sleep."

"Right," he replied quickly, raising his eyebrows at her. "And that was exactly what I was about to- to do."

"Take a bath, first. I don't wanna offend you or anything, but..." She leaned forward a little bit and lowered her voice. "You stink."

"I would reply in kind, but I'm not sure how long you would need to soak, and I would like to eat tomorrow."

"You should know," she began, intending to bury him, "that I've taken the liberty of filling a bath for you already."

He seemed incredibly surprised by that, and she thought that if she squinted she might have been able to see a blush. "You did?"

"Yeah." Then she let out a long sigh. "But I heard there's a drought on the way, so I thought it'd be best to save water. You might get some noodles on you, and I misplaced a coupla chopsticks so if you could fish around in there for me that'd be great. There's soap in it already, though, so less work for you I guess."

"Alright, that's enough," he conceded, shaking his head.

"Y'know in my home town I was considered a national hero." She blew on her nails and rubbed them on her chest for effect. "By the way, I put some surveys by the door if you wanna leave me your feedback. There's a mail-in portion that you can rip off the bottom, it'll give you ten percent off a membership to my fan club." So maybe Tai Lung had a point when he'd said she was prideful. She just couldn't help but gloat, at least while she still could.

He grimaced at her and shuffled toward the door. "On that note, I am going to go and try to forget that this day ever happened."

It occurred to her that for the first time ever, they were actually getting along. In a sick, dysfunctional sort of way, at least. She didn't expect it to last, though. "Hey, after you get some rest I expect you to be on your A game, got it?"

"You have no idea," he replied, a mean smile briefly present on his face before he left the kitchen.

A/N: Cram it in your cram hole, La Fleur! But in all seriousness... Galettes are akin to crepes, and the batter is very simple- made from buckwheat flour, water, and salt. There are no specific proportions for the batter- it's just mixed until the consistency seems right. I hear it's good to shoot for a consistency like melted ice cream. And now you should all go to davidlebovitz[dot]com.

Oh, right, the next chapter. Expect the following: more pointless arguments. Hooray!