A/N: Welcome to chapter 12, wherein our intrepid heroes get caught in the rain and Shifu reminds us that, yes, he actually still is a kung fu master. I actually can't believe this is chapter 12, already! Where did the time go? Well, I hope you enjoy, and once again many thanks for reading, reviewing, and generally sticking around.
Disclaimer: Kung Fu Panda is still the property of Dreamworks, believe it or not.
Chapter 12: The Harder the Shell, The Sweeter the Nut
It was still spring in the Valley of Peace, yet it was inexplicably hot. The sky was grey and bright, and humidity hung heavy in the air. All in all, it was horrible weather for baking cookies. But that was exactly what Lin was doing, unfortunately. She couldn't think of what could have possibly possessed her to bake cookies when it was so incredibly hot and humid; the last thing she needed was the added heat of an oven. Still, all she had been able to think about for the past few days were her grandmother's almond cookies.
She resisted the urge to check on the cookies; she only needed to wait another five or so minutes. She remembered when she'd first learned the recipe, and asked her grandmother when they'd be ready. Her reply had been, "They're ready when they're ready. You'll know." In the end, it was her sense of smell that let her know when the cookies were ready. When they smelled good enough to eat, that was when she would know.
The real question at hand was: what should she do with the cookies? She contemplated serving them with some afternoon tea, which would surely incur a lecture from Shifu, but then it wasn't as if she cared whether or not he was angry at her. And there was really no use in baking cookies if she wasn't going to share them. Besides, she had a feeling that Tai Lung would really enjoy the recipe.
She took a good, deep whiff of the air, then removed the cookies from the oven. They appeared to be her best batch yet, but the true test was in the tasting. She immediately set to work boiling some water for tea to go with them, grinning to herself as she did. Nothing put a smile on her face quite like the scent of her grandmother's almond cookies. She grabbed one for herself (taste testing was always very important) and took a bite. They were perfect.
It wasn't long before the tea was done, and she made up a tray to bring to the training hall. She drifted off on her way there, her mind wandering to the near future, and what she was going to do, precisely. She had always been a fan of The Journey to the West, so perhaps she'd take a cue from the story and head to India. She could always travel south and take a ship there, but traveling west by foot was probably a more realistic plan; she didn't hold any illusions about what was and was not within her financial capability.
She blinked, snapping herself out of her thoughts once she realized she'd already reached the training hall. Lin pushed the door to the open and set her tray down on a nearby empty rack. "Helloooo," she called out, scanning the place for some sign of life. She didn't see Tai Lung anywhere, although she did get an answer.
"Do you mind?" Shifu, of course, was sitting cross-legged on the opposite side of the training hall with some candles.
"What're you doing?" She narrowed her eyes a little and let her lip curl up.
"Don't give me that look." He stood up and brushed himself off, frowning. "What is so important that you needed to interrupt my meditation?"
"Nothing much," she replied, mostly because she knew that kind of response would annoy him. "I made cookies and tea."
He glared balefully at her from across the room. "That's it?"
"Yeah." She shrugged. "Where'd Tai Lung get off to? I thought he was supposed to be training every waking moment he was in your presence."
"He is studying one of the thousand scrolls of kung fu," he grumbled, and apparently gave up hope of her leaving him alone, because he began the trek across the training hall toward her. "Not that you would know anything about that."
"Well, we all have our specialties," she admitted reluctantly. She wasn't normally a diplomatic person, but then again there was always something to be said for gaining people's trust. "Mine just happens to have more to do with fueling the body, rather than honing it into a deadly weapon. Though I'm sure I could achieve the effect with some of my spicy bean dishes."
Shifu rolled his eyes as he approached her, then reached out and grabbed a cookie. Then, to Lin's utter amusement, he sniffed at it.
"I didn't poison them," she reassured him.
"Of course not," he dismissed, though he still sounded suspicious. "However, you should know that I've built up an immunity to most of the poisons that are popularly used in the area, so if they are-"
"Alright, stop yourself already," she interrupted, crossing her arms. "Y'know, that fact about you is more telling than you realize."
"There are several occasions upon which I could have said the same about you," he replied smugly, then took a bite of the cookie. Of course, he must have been bluffing.
She decided not to let it faze her too much. "So how're you with opium? Any immunity to that?" She made it a point to ask the question right as he was swallowing.
He immediately started coughing, a shocked expression on his face. "You wouldn't!"
"I also wrote the word 'gullible' on the ceiling, if you'd like to take a look," she replied calmly.
He glared at her with his jaw tightly clenched for a moment or so before speaking again. "You are an unbalanced street urchin of the lowest order."
"Right," Lin sighed, amused more than anything else. "You have this paranoid obsession that I'm for some reason plotting against you, but I'm the crazy one." She looked around the training hall as she spoke, curious as to exactly what someone could possibly want to do on a floor that spit fire.
"Then how do you explain your behavior?" he asked, and despite his apparent suspicion toward her he took the tea that she offered.
"I'm... mean?" she tried.
Shifu frowned at her answer. "You're mean," he repeated flatly.
"Yeah." She shrugged, unsure of what else to say. "I'm working here 'cause I needed money. And I'm mean to you 'cause it's fun. There's actually less to me than meets the eye, but I don't expect you to believe me."
"Alright, so if you're just mean, then why are you so nice to Tai Lung?" he shot back.
"'Cause Tai Lung's not an ass like you are." Lin raised her eyebrows and put one hand on her hip, waiting for an argument.
He just crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at her.
"What? It's true." She felt a little bad, though. "Aw, cheer up. I wouldn't bust your balls so much if I didn't like you. Kinda. It's like having a senile grandpa."
"I am not that old," he huffed, sounding offended. "Wait a minute- you like me?" Shifu raised his eyebrows at her, his expression something halfway between appalled and confused.
"Kinda," Lin emphasized; she was a little embarrassed at the admission, but the only thing to do was to forge ahead and keep a straight face. "Everyone has their good points," she continued, hoping to cover her ass. "I have a talent for finding them- after I've found all their bad points, of course."
"I see." He still seemed put off. "So you torture the people you like?"
"Nope, I torture whoever I feel like torturing." She decided to take a big risk, and she reached out and flicked his nose with her index finger. "Now shut up. You're only here to make me look good, anyway."
He raised his eyebrows at her, then frowned and reached up to rub at his nose. He was obviously not pleased by the flick to his nose. "You have a ten second head start. Use it wisely."
"Right." She paused for a moment, contemplating the threat. "You were kidding, right?"
"It's already been six seconds," he replied.
"Okay, bye!" Perhaps not all of his threats were empty.
A few days later, the sky had opened up and let loose a storm the likes of which hadn't been seen in years in the Valley of Peace. Lin peered out the front door of the barracks, frowning to herself. The rain was pouring down in buckets, and she thought she even saw lightning streak across the sky for a split second. She was already dressed in rain gear (a straw hat and a cloak that was admittedly not the most waterproof of materials), but she briefly reconsidered going down to the market. She pushed her desire to be warm and dry out of the way with the thought of the abysmally empty pantry, the pantry she had held off on filling because she didn't want to waste even a single crumb of food. And now she had to go out in a rainstorm.
She adjusted her hat and pulled her cloak more tightly around herself, then picked up her makeshift grocery bag and headed out. It wasn't too bad at first, she had to admit. Her hat did its job well, and it wasn't too cold just yet. She ran into trouble, though, once she reached the stairs. The stone was as slippery as ice, and she cringed to think of what could happen to her if she fell down them. So, ever so carefully, one step at a time, she began her descent. It was a painstakingly slow process, and it was impeded even more when she slipped about halfway down. She managed to catch herself, but it led her to the decision that she'd be better off climbing down the stairs on all fours. She knew at that moment that she was going to have a long and unpleasant day.
"...Where's lunch?" Shifu rarely expressed his feelings, but when he walked into the kitchen only to witness Tai Lung sitting alone at the table, eating the last of their peaches, there was nothing else to say.
"Lin's not back from the market yet," Tai Lung replied. "All we have left are peaches from the sacred peach tree of heavenly wisdom."
"Why is she not back yet?" he was irate, to say the least; if she had gone out drinking, she was going to get it.
"I dunno." Tai Lung shrugged. "Maybe it's 'cause of the rain. Do you think we should go help her, Master?"
He paused to think it over; it was actually a good idea. If he went after her and she actually needed help (which was not likely) he would avoid the guilt trip she'd inevitably lay on him. If she was wasting time (more likely), then he could bust her and never, ever let her forget about it. "You stay here," he told Tai Lung, then went to grab a straw hat and head out in the rain.
Lin stared up at the thousand steps leading back up to the Jade Palace, feeling momentarily like she was going to cry. Her straw hat had, unfortunately, blown away in the wind, and her cloak was completely soaked through. In fact, she was fairly sure that her entire body was completely soaked through. Her bag was overflowing with food, and much heavier than she had anticipated, but she could handle it. At least she could as long as she didn't fall. She headed on up the stairs, just as carefully as she had gone down. It was miserable, to say the least. On the bright side, she had no reason to be irritated by the rain anymore, since she was already as soaked as she was going to get.
She was just getting into a good rhythm for climbing the stairs when the knot in the strap of her bag gave way, and she watched in horror as the bag fell to the ground with a wet thud, spilling produce and grains everywhere. She just stood there, in the pouring rain, staring at the bag as her groceries slowly rolled and bounced down the steps. She couldn't even go straight back to the market, since she'd just barely brought enough money with her to buy that much.
With a heavy sigh, she squatted and started gathering as many things as she could before they got away from her; there was no chance in hell she was ever going after the fruits and vegetables that had already escaped. She thought bitterly as she worked of how much easier the trip would have been if she had just gone a day earlier. Finally, she had everything back in its rightful place, and as she picked the bag back up she took a step back- and bumped into something. Someone, rather.
"AGH!" Of course, she dropped her bag again. She then whirled around, ready to put up a fight, only to find Shifu standing there. "Don't sneak up on me like that!" she lectured, then realized belatedly that the stairs were once again littered with produce. She felt the urge to scream wordlessly at the sight, but held back, since Shifu was standing right next to her. Instead she just let out a low groan and leaned down to pick the mess up- again.
"What's taking you so long?" he had the gall to ask, although he did help her gather everything together.
Still, she was more than a little annoyed, and her response reflected that very strongly; unfortunately, it was drowned out by a loud crack of thunder. Or maybe it was fortunate, since the response had been peppered with some very strong language.
Shifu said something back, but she didn't quite catch it- the thunder was still rumbling. He must not have heard her either, though, since he took his hat off and dropped it onto her head.
"Thanks!" she shouted over the noise.
"Give me that!" he yelled back, and it took her a moment to realize that he was talking about the bag.
She gladly handed it over, and attempted to smile gratefully; it was sort of difficult, since she had so much wet fur hanging in her face. She knew that she probably looked like a giant drowned rat.
"You look... Different," he commented, raising his eyebrows at her appearance.
"Get bent," she replied.
"I just didn't realize you had so much fur." He actually looked amused, for once. "And now it's... Deflated."
"Yeah, I know." Lin couldn't keep the curtness out of her voice; as much as she would have liked to be nonchalant, her appearance was something of a sore point for her.
He blinked, looking surprised. "You're not going to call me a name?" He still looked confused after she glared at him in response. "It sounded like-"
"I don't need to," she snapped. "It was implied."
"I don't have to help you, you know," he shot back. "I could just leave you here and let you take care of this yourself."
"Go ahead, then!" She was already in a bad mood, and she didn't need Shifu annoying her on top of it. "I can do this on my own, anyway!"
"No you can't.," he argued instantly, slinging the bag of groceries over his shoulder. "I saw you struggling, and you're taking a long time. You would be better off if you just accepted my help."
"I don't want your help!" she snapped, just as he turned around and started climbing the steps. "Hey! Don't you walk away from me!" She hurried to catch up to him, but the stairs were slippery and her balance was bad, so it was slow going. "I don't need anyone's help!" she called after him. "Least of all yours!" The one thing that got on her nerves more than anything else was being treated like she couldn't handle something on her own- and when Shifu was the perpetrator, such treatment was all the more maddening. "Hey!"
He just kept walking and didn't answer her.
"Don't act like you can't hear me with those big ears there!"
Shifu turned around, glared at her, and opened his mouth to speak. That was as far as he got, however, before they were both suddenly pelted with large chunks of hail.
Lin would have laughed if she wasn't also caught in the middle of the hail; though she was rather amused by the fact that it had started hailing after Shifu had given her his hat. She wasn't about to give the hat back, but she ran to catch up with him, anyway.
Surprisingly enough, he stood there and waited for her; or perhaps he was just immobilized by sheer shock and rage. "Hurry up!" he snapped, and resumed walking up the steps the moment she caught up with him. "You are nothing but pain and suffering, and an endless string of annoyances."
"Let's not forget the dander." She held the straw hat down tight over her head as she awkwardly ran in an attempt to keep up with him while simultaneously trying not to fall on her face. "Why're you in such a hurry?"
He just glared over his shoulder at her and pointed at the sky, presumably indicating the large chunks of hail raining down on them.
"Whatever," she huffed. She really despised stairs, but she was relieved at least that she'd developed decent stamina after all the experience she'd had running from assorted forms of trouble. Mostly trouble that she'd stirred up herself, but such was life.
"Do you think you could run just a little bit slower?" Shifu asked her sarcastically. "I think we might actually be able to reverse the flow of time, and I'd like a do-over of the past month."
"That's a good one," she growled back. "Or at least it was, back in my grandmother's youth. You might want to think up some new material before the next century rolls around."
Suddenly, he reached back and grabbed her arm, taking her by such surprise that she almost fell over backwards. He yanked on her and she realized that he was dragging her up the steps with him, so that she would actually match his insanely fast pace.
"You're an ass," she concluded, and not for the first time.
He had apparently gone back to ignoring her, though.
"I think you're growing ear hair," she jabbed, simply out of spite. She was surprised that he managed to ignore that comment, actually. She'd have expected it to at least earn a wordless grunt, but there was nothing. "If I trip, it's your fault," she went on grumpily.
Shifu muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, "I hope you do," but she chose to ignore it.
She wasn't exactly sure what was wrong with her. Even at her most irate, she still let him push her around in a way she'd never let anyone before... Well, that wasn't entirely true. But she liked to think that she was a much different person than she had been eight years ago. Either way, she was going to be sore from trying to keep up with him. Luckily, they had already reached the top of the stairs and were on their way up to the barracks.
Shifu came to an abrupt stop on the porch outside the barracks, and while Lin would have liked very much to follow his lead, she wasn't accustomed to moving with such speed. So, when she tried to stop, the laws of physics (and her own natural clumsiness) kicked in and propelled her forward. Absolute horror and embarrassment had already set in before she even collided with Shifu, but it actually turned out to be misplaced.
As if he had known that she would go barreling straight into him, Shifu deftly dodged her. Then, to top it off, he even managed to catch her. He made it look so easy, too.
Lin found herself practically hanging off of him, her fists bunched in his sleeves in an instinctive attempt to catch herself, and not for the first time. Her embarrassment was about double the intensity it would have been if she'd just fallen on him, but at the same time she knew she should be grateful. The resulting emotion was nausea, in every sense of the word. She opened her mouth to say something, but inexplicably she found that the only noise that emerged was a dazed, "Fuhhh..."
"Let go of me," he replied, sounding exasperated.
That snapped her out of it, alright. "You let go of me," she snapped, and immediately yanked herself out of his arms. "And another thing-" Lin paused when the hail and rain suddenly came to an abrupt stop. "I freaking hate weather." She shouldn't have been surprised that the terrible weather cleared up pretty much the moment she reached shelter, though; it was simply the way her life worked. "Well, what're you waiting for? Carry that food into the kitchen, already."
"I thought you didn't need my help," he replied smugly as he headed indoors.
"Nor do I want it." She followed along, mostly to make sure he didn't try to help her put anything away. After all, she had established an impeccable system of organization in the kitchen, and she didn't want it tampered with. "However, I'm flexible enough to work with what I got."
"Well, I'm not doing anything else for you." He carried the bag into the kitchen and set it down near the table, as if it were no trouble at all.
"You didn't have to do anything for me in the first place," she grumbled.
"But I am a gentleman."
"Sure."
Shifu took a moment to glare at her. "Why did you fall like that, anyway?" he asked unexpectedly, raising his eyebrows at her.
"Because... You were going too fast?" she ventured. She wasn't quite sure what he was getting at.
"That's not what I'm talking about." Shifu rolled his eyes at her like a teenaged girl. "When you fell, you reached out to brace yourself with your left arm, as is the normal tendency for anyone who is falling forward. However, you tucked your right arm in toward your body. Why did you do that?"
Lin was speechless at first, caught completely off-guard by how observant he'd been. She still managed to muster up a decent response, though. "You are a freak."
"What?" He sounded offended, which was usually a good sign- it meant that she was going to win the argument. "In what way am I a freak?"
"In every single way," she replied. "You are the definition of a freak."
"Oh really?" He crossed his arms, glaring at her. "Define 'freak.'"
"Well that depends on which definition you want," she taunted; she knew that he'd think she was trying to dodge the question due to a lack of knowledge, and there was nothing she liked better than dangling some form of victory in front of a person and then snatching it away.
"Give me as many definitions as you can think of," he unwisely told her.
"Then I'll begin with the definitions of 'freak' as pertaining to an individual." She cleared her throat for a little dramatic effect. "A: One that is markedly unusual or abnormal. B: An animal having a physical oddity and appearing in a circus show. C: An ardent enthusiast. D: A sexual deviate-"
"Alright, that's enough," he interrupted her; he sounded pretty annoyed that she had actually been able to think up several legitimate definitions. "How do you know all that?"
"I can read, unlike you."
"What?"
"You are illiterate. Now gimme that bucket." She motioned to the bucket she kept next to the wash basin; since it had just rained, she thought it would be a good time to get some fresh rainwater from the side of the building, where a trough was built to collect the water.
"No. I am not here to do your errands for you or to- to fetch buckets!" Yet he didn't leave the kitchen- most likely because he was hungry.
Lin spent a few seconds trying to think up the most offensive response she could, then set it into motion. "Hey, Tai Lung!" she shouted at the top of her lungs. "C'mere!"
"He's not going to come here," Shifu argued immediately. "I doubt he even heard-"
"Yeah?" Tai Lung appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, effectively proving Shifu wrong mid-argument.
"Wanna get that bucket for me?" She once again pointed to the same bucket, which was perfectly within her reach. But it was just too much fun watching Shifu fume.
"Um... Okay." He gave her a strange look, probably wondering why she had asked in the first place, then promptly crossed the room and brought the bucket to her.
Shifu looked like he was ready to have an aneurysm.
"Why'd you need me to get a bucket?" Tai Lung glanced back and forth between her and Shifu, obviously sensing that something was amiss.
"To prove a point," she answered simply, then left to collect rain water. She had to admit that she was impressed by Shifu's ability to hold in his frustration, but then it would spill out sooner or later. She just needed to make sure that she wasn't present when it did.
Her train of thought was immediately derailed as she opened the front door to the barracks to once more venture outside; hovering faintly amidst the valley mist was something she hadn't seen in a very long time, something that she very rarely had the time to fully appreciate. "Hey, look!" Lin called from the doorway. "A rainbow." If there was ever a point in her life when she would have time to stop and stare at a rainbow, this would be it.
"I wanna see!" Tai Lung shouted enthusiastically from inside, then suddenly appeared beside her. "Oh, wow!"
Shifu followed him out, his usual frown in place. "Remember, Tai Lung, you have studying to do," he warned, crossing his arms behind his back.
"It doesn't take that long to look at a rainbow," Lin dismissed immediately, grinning at the annoyed look that crossed Shifu's face.
"Wow," Tai Lung interrupted what may have turned into yet another fight. "I've never actually seen a rainbow before." He was obviously enjoying the spectacle, and though she was hesitant to admit it even to herself, the grin on his face warmed her heart.
She was becoming a really big sap. "Y'know, some people think rainbows have mystical properties," she began. "But they don't. They're just a refraction of light caused by the moisture in the air."
"Wow," Shifu replied sarcastically, "that was truly inspiring."
"Stick with me, old man, and there's a lot more where that came from."
"I need to meditate," he grumbled, reaching up to rub at his forehead. "And you should get back to work," he directed at Tai Lung.
"Yes Master," he sighed back. "I just... Could use a little more to eat." He smiled hopefully back, and while she wasn't entirely sure how versed Shifu was in the art of deception, it was easy for Lin to see that Tai Lung was lying.
"I'll cut up some fruit for you," she offered, raising her eyebrows at him.
"Very well, but be quick about it." Shifu curtly turned and left them; it was pretty clear that there was only so much of Lin's company he could take before getting to the verge of a complete meltdown.
Lin led Tai Lung back to the kitchen, waiting until she thought Shifu would be out of earshot before she spoke. "Okay, so whaddaya really want?"
"Nothing much," he replied casually, making a point of examining his claws. "I was just wondering... How often d'you go down into the valley?"
"Every couple of days, depending." She grabbed an apple and began to cut it into slices. "So what's the deal?" She knew that he had to have some motive for asking.
"I was just thinking that it would be fun if I went with you some time." His eyes widened hopefully, and it didn't take a genius to see that he had more than just a casual interest in heading down to the valley.
"What, just to go grocery shopping?" Lin wasn't the kind of person who went around handing out favors for no reason, not even to her friends. "You wouldn't have fun at all. There's no point."
"No, I think it could be an interesting experience," he persisted. "I mean, I could really learn a lot."
"So you're not allowed, huh?" she surmised, though she had no idea why he wouldn't be allowed to go down into the valley; it wasn't like he wouldn't be safe. Furthermore, she wasn't sure what interest he could possibly have in accompanying her on a shopping trip. Unless... "And you wanna meet some kids your own age?"
He looked sheepish for a moment, then widened his eyes to plead with her. "Please? It'd just be for a couple of hours, I'm sure Master Shifu wouldn't even notice..."
She was actually taken aback by that last part. It was pretty out of character for Tai Lung to suggest he do anything as big as taking a trip to the valley without Shifu's consent. "Y'know, I'm starting to see a whole new side of you, kid." She crossed her arms and chewed on her tongue while she thought it over. She knew when a line was or was not meant to be crossed, but at the same time the request seemed harmless enough to her. "...I'll think about it," she concluded, which due to experience with her own parents she knew was a gentler way of saying "probably not."
"Oh," Tai Lung sighed, sounding disappointed. "Okay." He even let his ears droop a little.
Lin had to wonder how much of it was actual disappointment, and how much was manipulation. His skill in the area also had her wondering if maybe he had more experience than just her tutelage. "Eat your apple," she ordered, placing a plate of the slices in front of him. "And quit moping. As my grandmother used to tell me, you can't always get whatchya want."
She left out the second part of the adage, as her grandmother often did as well. All it really did was create a sense of false hope, anyway. In the end, while there were indeed very few people in the world who got what they wanted, there were even fewer who got what they needed. Herself included. She managed to reassure herself with a reminder that she would soon be on her way out of the Valley of Peace, but for some reason the thought didn't do much for her nerves. Then again, very few things really did those days.
A/N: Will Tai Lung be allowed to go into the village? Will we find out more about Lin's past? Will Shifu actually have an aneurysm? Will Oogway ever make another appearance? Find out next time in the next exciting installment of: (The Plot Moves as Quickly) As the World Turns.