A/N: Hey there! Since last chapter was a couple of days late, and since I actually finished this one a little early, I decided to post a couple of days early to make it up to you. Anyway, here we are, another chapter, another update. Now our intrepid heroes must attempt to get along... We'll see how well that actually works out. Once again, major thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed (especially you guys who keep coming back every chapter!)
Disclaimer: Kung Fu Panda Dreamworks blah blah blah blah
Chapter 14: A Watched Pot Never Boils
The sweet aroma of citrus and the faint heady scent of cinnamon, cloves and ginger filled the entire kitchen, and it was making Lin's mouth water. She'd already finished up dinner for the evening, a simple dish of tofu and asparagus steamed with lemon grass, served alongside rice that she had cooked with a throwaway satchel of cumin seeds to impart it with just a hint of flavor without being overpowering. She supposed her cooking was the only area of her life in which she was even capable of subtlety, but she knew such a dish would at least put Shifu at ease. Especially since she was going to rock the boat a little bit by making dessert after he had given her a lecture on how unhealthy it was.
Still, she didn't see how he could possibly object to her candied orange slices and fresh lychee nuts. As she had prepared the orange well in advance, she was currently involved in her final task: brewing a strong oolong to go with such an aromatic meal.
Speaking of Shifu... "What is it?" she asked as she poured boiling water into her teapot.
"I thought we agreed that you would cut down on desserts," he replied from the doorway. "I smell oranges."
"Well, if you don't want any, then you don't hafta eat any." She gave a casual shrug, still not bothering to turn around and face him. "I happen to like candied orange slices." She turned around then, but only to bring the pot of steeping tea to the table. "And I thought we were supposed to be getting along right now, anyway."
"That would be a lot easier if you weren't constantly putting forth a tremendous effort to get on my nerves." Shifu sat down in his usual spot at the table and crossed his arms. "The less we actually interact, the more smoothly this dinner will go," he declared.
Lin snorted at that, wondering if he knew that it was exactly that kind of attitude that made her want to annoy him so much. The answer to that was probably a resounding no. "Y'know, you are really clueless," she pointed out as she began to set the table around him. Although, if she were to be completely honest with herself, it was one of the reasons she'd developed a fondness for him to begin with.
"Insulting me is not a good way to start out," he huffed, leaning back in his seat as she reached over him to set his place.
"But it's just so easy," she replied sweetly, and with a certain amount of honesty. When he glared up at her from under furrowed eyebrows, she let out a disappointed sigh. "Okay, I'll take it easy. But you really shouldn't glare like that, people'll see how massive your eyebrows are." And she flicked him on the nose, too, just because she knew she'd get away with it.
"Stop that!" he snapped, batting her hand away. "If you're not going to take this seriously, then I honestly don't see what the point is."
"A word to the wise, Shifu: I don't take most things seriously." She returned to the stove and started spooning the rice into a serving dish, but was again distracted by him; she could practically feel him glaring at her. "What?" She raised her eyebrows at him as she returned to the table with the rice.
"It's Master Shifu," he replied stiffly, his glare intensifying.
She blinked back at him, surprised at how huffy he was getting over something so trivial, especially when Oogway had never once objected to her dropping the title from his name. "I can't believe you're getting pissed about that," she commented.
"I put up with your utter lack of respect in most cases, but this is one line that I will not allow you to cross- especially not in front of Tai Lung." He seemed sincere about the subject.
She decided to just let it go. "Whatever you say," she sighed, and went back to plating dinner.
"I'm serious!" He apparently thought she was simply dismissing him.
"I said," she growled back, bringing the tofu and asparagus to the table and setting it down rather firmly in front of him, "whatever you say, Master Shifu." She then fixed him with an unnaturally wide smile, letting her eyes bulge out a bit.
"Eugh, get away from me," he replied at that.
Lin couldn't help but burst into laughter. She laughed so hard at his reaction, in fact, that she needed to drop into the seat next to him to keep from falling over.
"What is wrong with you?" he asked, obviously completely oblivious- as usual.
"What's so funny?" Tai Lung finally made an appearance, bowing to Shifu before sitting down for dinner.
Lin just pointed to Shifu, still snickering quietly, fueled on by his annoyance at her amusement.
Tai Lung looked momentarily confused, but wisely said nothing on the subject. "So... Dinner smells good."
"Why thank you," she replied pointedly, passing him the tofu and asparagus as she raised her eyebrows at Shifu.
"...Yes," he agreed grudgingly. "Very good."
"I'm glad you think so, Master Shifu, because I had your delicate constitution in mind while I was cooking it," she informed him innocently. She supposed it could have come off as an insult, but it did annoy her that he rarely admitted that her cooking was absolutely divine.
"Yes, I can see that," he replied graciously. "But I can't help but wonder why you didn't put out the kibble and bones you had prepared for yourself." He was getting much better at throwing insults.
She knew that she should have just left it at that, but she appreciated the newfound challenge and, to be honest, this was her version of getting along. "Oh, I know your distaste for such things. I didn't want to discourage your more than healthy appetite."
Shifu stopped heaping rice onto his plate at that and momentarily glowered at her before resuming his casual facade. "And I thank you for that courtesy," he replied slowly. "I know it must have taken considerable self-control on your part, a difficult feat to be sure. Had I known in advance, I would have prepared a treat for you." He seemed to want to continue on with his dog theme, so she decided to follow suit.
"That would have been quite unnecessary." She began to serve herself as she spoke, pointedly doling out considerably smaller portions than what lay on Shifu's plate. "I doubt there would have been any left for me if you had, anyway."
He smiled wryly at that. "Humble as always, I see. You are certainly showing a talent for grace of tongue that I have never seen from you before."
"Likewise," she complimented as she took a bite of her dinner; it had turned out rather well. "Though I must admit that I find your subject matter somewhat lacking in creativity."
Shifu looked ready to reply to that, but was stopped by the sound of a throat clearing.
Tai Lung looked back and forth between them, a puzzled expression on his face. "Um... Lin, Master? Are you guys... Okay?"
"Never better!" Lin answered enthusiastically. "Didya get yourself some tea, kid?"
"Yeah, it's really good," he replied hesitantly. "...You're sure there's nothing weird going on that I don't know about?"
"Nothing at all," Shifu answered him this time. "As you can see, we are getting along swimmingly."
"...Right." He didn't look convinced, but he dug into his dinner all the same. "So you're both... Okay with each other now?"
Lin normally didn't like to lie to the kid, but it was for the greater good. "Definitely." She waited for Shifu to add something, but when he remained silent she gently elbowed him to get him to speak up.
"Yes," he supplied lamely. "It is all... Water under the bridge." His expression seemed to say otherwise, though.
She smiled encouragingly, hoping to put Tai Lung at ease. "So how'd your day go?" She realized as she spoke that this was the first time, in her memory at least, that she had asked him about his day. She thought she sounded kind of like a concerned parent, or at least the stereotype of one. Lord knew she'd never experienced such a thing for herself.
"Well... I trained and studied, as usual. And I mastered a new style of kung fu." He swelled a bit with pride at that. "Eagle Claw."
"Sounds fancy." She glanced over at Shifu and was surprised to see that he, too, looked rather proud of this accomplishment. "I'll bet you could beat up a few bandits, yourself, with some new moves like that."
"Not if I have anything to say about it," Shifu cut in, his tone stern. "Tai Lung is too young to be seriously fighting anyone. Not that you would know anything on the subject."
"Yes she does!" Tai Lung protested, then proceeded to look absolutely mortified at having contradicted his master. "That is, she mentioned having been in fights before," he muttered, gulping at the extremely unpleasant expression on Shifu's face.
"Do tell." He turned to Lin, raising his eyebrows.
She smiled tightly back at him, simultaneously cursing Tai Lung's enthusiasm and feeling quite bad for him, since he didn't seem to be at all at ease, as had been the main goal for the night. "I, uhm..." She let out a fake cough, trying to think up a response that would satisfy Shifu's constantly prying curiosity without incriminating herself. After all, she doubted he'd respond well to stories of senseless bar fights, and visibly cringed at the thought of what his reaction might be to hearing about the fisticuffs she'd engaged in during one of her instances of incarceration. "It's nothing, really," she finally told them lamely. "Just fights with my brothers, y'know..." Which was the truth, just not the whole truth.
Shifu snorted at that, apparently satisfied with her answer if he saw fit to mock it.
"Aw, c'mon," Tai Lung prompted, recovering from his earlier shame. "You told me you traveled a lot, so you must've had fights besides that, right?"
"Nope," she answered quickly, but of course the kid's question had ignited a gleam in Shifu's eye that did not bode well for her privacy.
"Now that you mention it, Tai Lung, I have heard something about her travels." He then turned to Lin. "I believe you mentioned a certain familiarity with Shangba? You know, The Village of Death."
"Cool!" Tai Lung immediately exclaimed, then had the good sense to look sheepish at Shifu's frown of disapproval.
"I only passed through, really." Lin did not like the direction the conversation was going in. She had a feeling that if it kept up, she would find herself backed into a corner. "And as I pointed out before, it's hardly a 'deadly' place. Just a quiet little village by the shore. Oogway's only going there because of the wokou-"
"Wow!" he interrupted, his eyes lighting up. "Have you ever seen any pirates?"
"Well, yeah," she answered honestly; she didn't want to contradict anything she'd said before, and she remembered mentioning the origins of her calligraphy style to Shifu. Actually, that gave her an idea. "I'm sure Master Shifu's met a few in his days, too."
"Yeah, I bet you've beat up tons of pirates by now, Master!" It was one of the few times that Tai Lung had let his guard down enough to reveal his hero worship of his master, and it was absolutely adorable.
"I suppose that's one way to put it," Shifu reluctantly admitted, taking a moment to narrow his eyes suspiciously at Lin. "But I don't know if you would really want to hear about all of that."
"But there are all these stories about you that I don't know, Master. I'm sure it would inspire me to hear at least one." Tai Lung's eyes grew wide and watery in a pleading expression. "Master Oogway told me once that you've wielded the Sword of Heroes."
"You know how to use a sword?" Lin belatedly realized that she'd sounded rather impressed, and let out another fake cough to try to recover some of her dignity. "That's, uh, pretty neat." She attempted to sound nonchalant then, but she had a feeling the damage had already been done.
Shifu stared at her as if she had grown a second head, while Tai Lung grinned at her.
"See, Lin wants to hear about it, too," the kid pointed out smugly.
"Sure, why not?" she sighed, still trying very hard to hide her embarrassment.
"Well..." Shifu eyed her suspiciously, then turned his gaze to Tai Lung's pleading face. "Alright. I will tell you about a more recent trip of mine."
"And you used the Sword of Heroes?" Tai Lung asked hopefully.
"No," he answered, and Tai Lung visibly deflated. "I only wielded the sword once, and that story is far too complicated for tonight. Perhaps when you're older."
"Okay," he agreed dejectedly.
"As for my story," he went on, straightening up in his seat a bit. "Picture it: Shanghai, four years ago," he started, and Lin blinked in surprise; she'd been living there at the time. "I was called in by the local magistrate to quell an uprising, mostly consisting of some rioting caused by the city's less savory citizens. Their leader was a young fellow who went by the name of Quan, though I never met him myself."
Lin almost choked on her dinner at that, and started coughing for real. "That was you?" she blurted out without thinking.
Shifu and Tai Lung both stared at her with wide eyes, and she knew she'd said too much.
"What I mean is..." she croaked, pausing to take a soothing sip of tea. "...I've heard this story."
"You have?" Shifu seemed surprised at that. "Where?"
"From a merchant," she replied; it was the most believable source she could think of on short notice. "He'd been in the city at the time, to witness it all."
"I see." He continued to stare at her for a bit, then cleared his throat and continued on with the story. "Where was I?"
"You were telling us about the brutally evil Quan," Tai Lung reminded excitedly, "whose butt you never had the opportunity to kick, because he was a lowly coward."
"Would you quit with the ad-libbing and let him tell the story?" Lin grumbled.
"The both of you should calm down," Shifu lectured, affixing them each in turn with a stern frown. "Now, as I was saying... I never met Quan, since he was an elusive man, though I did hear quite a few tales. He had actually broken out of jail shortly before inciting the uprising, so I'm sure that was one of the reasons he'd been laying low."
"Yeah, I heard he was really tough," Lin added. "And talented in many pursuits. Also, quite the ladies' man."
"Am I telling this story, or are you?" Shifu glared at her, then continued. "Well, Quan was an artist."
"What?" Tai Lung was the one to interrupt this time. "An artist? That doesn't make any sense! Shouldn't that make him a wimp?"
"Well, he was known to be well acquainted with the wokou who often raided the city, so I'm guessing no." Shifu smiled a bit, apparently amused by Tai Lung's outburst. "He'd printed quite a few unsavory materials about the magistrate, the emperor, the local governor- pretty much anyone with any kind of power in the government. Anyway, he'd whipped almost every local rough up into a frenzy over some issue, my memory's a little bit fuzzy-"
"The widening gap between the rich and the poor," Lin interjected. "At least, that's how the merchant told it to me."
"Yes, that," he grumbled, apparently resentful over the interruption. "Half the city was in ruins by the time I got there. It was my job to help round up and imprison some of the more notorious upstarts, though Quan himself eluded us. The rioting died down after only a few days, and within the week the jails were practically overflowing."
"Tell us about a real fight!" Tai Lung pleaded. "Tell us about how you single-handedly beat up everyone in Shanghai!"
Shifu shook his head at that. "Oh, it's nothing all that sensational. You'll learn once you become a master yourself that there's more to it than simply beating people up. I helped in whatever way I could, but Shanghai wasn't the sort of city that would benefit long-term from my interference, so in the end I left. Besides, I was eager to return home to you and Master Oogway. That magistrate wasn't a very pleasant person, either. Rather corrupt, actually, but there was nothing I could do without throwing the city into a full-on civil war." He looked a bit sad at that, actually.
"You should've, anyway," Lin muttered into her tea.
"What was that?"
"I said, that was probably the most boring story I have ever heard from anyone, and I have no idea why you told us to begin with. Now, who wants dessert?" She decided to let the subject drop; she knew very well what had gone on in Shanghai, but it was neither the time nor the place to split hairs over it. "I made candied orange slices."
"Ooh!" Tai Lung lit up at that. "May I have some, Master? Please?"
"Very well," he agreed grudgingly.
Lin got up and began clearing the table for dessert, relieved that she had been able to successfully change the subject; it had been quite awkward for her, sitting there and listening to Shifu talk about something she'd experienced for herself from a much different perspective.
"Hey, Lin." Tai Lung, however, didn't seem to want to drop the topic. "You ever been to Shanghai?"
"Nope," she answered instantly. "I've only ever hearda the place. Apparently, though, it's full of 'young fellows' and 'local roughs.'" She snorted a bit and shot Shifu a derisive grin.
"Don't you dare call me old again," he replied. "And how is it that you seem to know so much about this if you've never been to Shanghai?"
"The merchant I spoke to was a very good story-teller." She brought a small plate for each of them with some of the orange slices and lychee nuts to the table and set them down.
"Or maybe," Tai Lung replied, furrowing his brow contemplatively as he bit into an orange slice, "you actually have been to Shanghai, and you fell deeply in love with the young rogue Quan, only to be left heartbroken and alone."
Lin's mouth fell open in shock as she stared at Tai Lung. She quickly recovered, however, and sat back down quite heavily. "What is with you tonight? That's the second time you've just added complete nonsense to this story. What're you, Shakespeare alluva sudden?"
"What's that?" he asked, blinking.
"Never mind," she huffed, leaning back in her chair. That was when she noticed that Shifu was studying her in a very clinical fashion, as if he suddenly believed what Tai Lung had said. "What?" she snapped.
"Nothing," he replied quickly, then took a sip of tea. After a moment's silence, he spoke again. "I was just trying to imagine what it would be like if you were romantically swept off your feet by a young rogue." He then wrinkled his nose. "Not a pleasant image."
Tai Lung quickly clapped a hand over his mouth and snorted with barely contained mirth.
"Yeah, yeah, go on and laugh," she sighed, relieved that she wasn't about to face another one of Shifu's barrages of questioning. "I'll have you know that I have never been, nor will I ever be, swept off my feet by anyone or anything."
"I had guessed that much by now," Shifu replied cuttingly; since when had he ever been capable of wit?
"Oh please, grandpa," she shot back. "The only way you'd be able to sweep a woman off her feet would be if she was in a walker to begin with."
"I am not that old," he protested.
"You're only as old as you act," she pointed out smugly.
"So that would make you around five years old, then." He popped an orange slice into his mouth, then suddenly blinked in surprise and gulped. "These are good."
"Uhuh," Tai Lung agreed, then dug into his lychees. "Really good!"
Lin grinned, taking great satisfaction in the responses to her oranges. She took a bite out of one, savoring the sweetness that was complimented by the blend of spices she'd used. She remembered the few rare occasions that her grandmother had made candied fruit, usually around the holidays or to celebrate a marriage. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of that particular practice.
As the table went silent and they all enjoyed their dessert and tea, she eyed Tai Lung and Shifu in turn. They seemed more relaxed together than she had ever seen them, and for once she felt a little bit like a third wheel for being there. Besides, if Shifu was ever going to speak with Tai Lung, he certainly wouldn't do so in her presence. She decided to do them both a favor and give them some time alone. "Well, I'm starting to get gas, so I need to take a walk." She stood up while Tai Lung snorted in laughter and Shifu choked a bit on a lychee. "I'll be back later to clean up. Seeya!" She booked it out of the kitchen and had almost made it to the front door, too, before Shifu stopped her.
"Wait!" he hissed, catching up to her rather easily.
"What're you doing? Get back in there and talk to Tai Lung," she whispered back. "Now is the perfect time."
"I can't." He looked rather pained, admitting it. He even crossed his arms and turned his eyes to the ground in a sulky kind of way. "Not without you," he grumbled reluctantly.
Lin thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head as she stared at him. She had never thought that, even in the face of absolute apocalypse, would Shifu ever, even for a moment, admit to needing her help. "Whaddaya need me for?" She decided to convince him using his own arguments, and just a smidgen of flattery. "You're his father. Just go talk to him."
"But he... He..." He flailed his hands about in mute gesturing for a moment, then dropped them to his sides and let out a heavy sigh. "...He likes you better."
"Bullshit," she snapped back; it was about time she put her foot down and kicked his ass into gear, whether he liked it or not. "Yeah, he talks to me more, but when he really, truly needs someone, you're the one he'll go to. So, to quote my dear departed grandmother: quit being a pussy!"
He blinked in surprise at that last statement before an offended frown slowly spread across his face. "Don't talk to me like that!"
"Then don't do anything to warrant me talking to you like that!" She reached out and slapped him on the arm. "Whatsamatter with you? Get back in there!"
"Stop that," he sputtered, taking a step back from her.
"Not until you get outta my sight!" She hit him again. "Go on! Get outta here!"
"Fine," he growled, then turned and headed back to the kitchen. He stopped at the doorway, then, and turned back to her. "...Thank you," he muttered in an extremely strained voice.
"Don't make me come over there," she warned, raising an arm in a threatening gesture.
He just shook his head and disappeared into the kitchen.
Lin continued on her journey out to the grounds, surprised by the satisfied smile that spread across her face as she went. It felt good to help people.
Tai Lung yawned loudly as he went about his morning chores; he currently found himself sweeping the Hall of Heroes. It was a little strange, actually, as he would have never thought of the Hall of Heroes as the type of place that was swept by someone if he weren't the one to do it. It was just so regal, it seemed like it shouldn't be collecting dust at all.
He paused to stretch out in front of the the Urn of Whispering Warriors; he'd been sore all over lately, and while he liked to think he was building muscle, Lin had attributed the soreness to "growing pains." If those even existed. He eyed the urn, wondering if it actually was full of souls. Probably not, but it at least made for a good story. He surveyed the hall for a moment, just to make sure that no one else was there to see him, then reached out with one finger to give the urn a gentle poke. As it rocked back on its pedestal, he could have sworn he heard very faint cries of distress.
"Tai Lung!"
He jumped back from the urn at the sound of his master's voice, wincing as it fell back into position with a loud thud. "Master!" He quickly bowed as Shifu approached, hoping that his infraction hadn't been witnessed. "I was just- um- sweeping."
"So I see," he replied, glancing at the broom in Tai Lung's hand. "There is something we need to discuss."
"It was an accident," Tai Lung rushed out, "I didn't mean to poke it, but-"
"What?" Shifu apparently hadn't seen him touch the urn.
"Nothing." He straightened up a little, trying to look as innocent as possible. "What was it that you wished to discuss, Master?"
Shifu narrowed his eyes, looking back and forth between Tai Lung and the urn. "Did you poke the Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors?" he asked harshly.
Tai Lung suppressed a groan and nodded slowly, awaiting his inevitable punishment.
However, rather than becoming angry as he would have expected, Shifu simply furrowed his brow in confusion. "...Why?"
He blinked back, wondering if there was some sort of catch. "I, um..." He actually wasn't sure what he had hoped to accomplish by poking at the urn. "I... Dunno," he mumbled sheepishly, turning his eyes to the ground.
Shifu continued to stare at him with a puzzled expression on his face for what seemed like forever. Then, finally, he spoke. "...Anyway, there is something I would like to- to talk to you about."
Tai Lung could hardly believe that he was actually getting away with touching the urn, but he wasn't about to question it, lest Shifu change his mind. "Yes, Master?"
"I, ahm..." Shifu crossed his arms behind his back and rocked back on his heels a little. "That is- well- you asked Lin to take you into the village?"
He nearly fainted. "She told you?" The last thing he had expected Lin to do was to tell Shifu about his request; the turn of events was rather upsetting, and he actually felt betrayed. He'd confided in Lin because, even though she was an adult, she still seemed to understand him. He'd thought she would never turn around and, for lack of a better term, tell on him.
"Yes." Shifu's expression was stern, but he still didn't burst out into angry ranting. "I wish you would have come to me on the matter." He shook his head, and let out a heavy sigh. "I... Suppose that I am the one to blame for that."
Tai Lung was stumped. He'd never seen Master Shifu act so... Contrite, he supposed the word for it would be. Moreover, he was stunned that he hadn't gotten into trouble. Was it possible that Lin had convinced his master to take it easy on him? "I'm sorry, Master," he replied slowly, still not quite able to believe the situation. "I shouldn't have tried to disobey you like that." As ridiculous as the rule was.
"No, you shouldn't have," he agreed, visibly relaxing a little. "But perhaps it would be best if I... Let it go, just this once."
Tai Lung almost fell over at that. "Really?"
"Yes. And... You can go."
"Really!" Tai Lung cleared his throat then, embarrassed at his outburst; still, he felt as if he'd been dropped into some sort of wonderful alternate universe. "I mean- um- thank you, Master."
Amazingly enough, Shifu smiled. "Just promise me that you'll be careful."
"Absolutely!" he agreed. "I promise!" He bowed, too, just to be safe. "I won't let you down, Master."
"Try not to cause too much trouble for Lin," he added.
Tai Lung raised his eyebrows at that; if anything, he'd expect Shifu to want him to cause trouble for Lin. But then, his master had been acting a bit off ever since dinner the night before; despite their usual bickering, he and Lin had appeared to be actually getting along.
"If you do," he clarified, "I'll never hear the end of it."
"Ah, I see." He could understand that; after all, Lin never ever dropped an issue, no matter what. Even if she acted as if she had forgotten about it, Tai Lung could tell that she simply held onto whatever it was that had bothered her until she could use against whoever had wronged her. Mostly he'd observed this from her fights with Shifu. "Thank you, Master," he repeated, at a loss for what else to say.
"I am just glad to see you happy." It was as if he had transformed momentarily into a completely different person. However, that seemed to be the end of the transformation, as Shifu once again straightened up and took on a much more stern tone. "You may accompany Lin to the village tomorrow, but by no means is that permission to slack off today. I'll expect to see you in the training hall in fifteen minutes."
"Yes, Master." Tai Lung punched a fist into his hand and bowed one more time, then watched as his master turned and left the hall. He hurried to finish up his sweeping, waiting until he thought Shifu was safely out of earshot, then expressed his excitement to the surrounding artifacts. "YES!"
Shifu stood outside the training hall, waiting for Tai Lung to finish up his morning chores. While he hadn't been able to work up the nerve to speak to him the night before, Shifu was actually proud of himself for being able to do so that morning. Even if the discussion had been rather awkward. Still, dinner had actually been enjoyable on some level; he'd been able to bond with Tai Lung, and he would be lying if he said he didn't like trading barbs with Lin- mostly when he managed to get a good dig in. He found his contemplation suddenly interrupted when his sensitive ears picked up a faint shout of joy emanate from the direction of the Hall of Heroes. Despite himself, he smiled.
"Well that's new," a completely unwelcome voice commented.
The smile fell from his face as he turned to see Lin climb up the steps onto the porch with a tray of tea, fruit and tofu. "What is that?"
"Breakfast," she replied. "Nobody showed up, so I figured you guys were over here rolling around on a bed of spikes or whatever it is you do." She balanced the tray on one hand, then picked up a cup of tea with the other and handed it to him.
"Isn't that heavy?" he asked, eyeing the tray as it balanced precariously on her hand.
"Not really," she replied lightly, then paused and furrowed her brow a moment as if she had just recalled something. "Actually, never mind. Yes it is."
"Okay." He sipped at his tea with absolutely no intention of offering his help; she would probably ask him, anyway. Or rather, order him.
"Here," she said, predictably shoving the tray into his arms.
He held the tray on one side with his free hand, while he balanced the other side on his forearm and tightly clutched the tea. "Take this back, right now."
"Nope." She grabbed a peach slice from the tray and popped it into her mouth. "So didya talk to Tai Lung yet, or are you still a pussy?"
He blinked in surprise at the harsh language, then shot her a very disapproving look, which she didn't seem to notice. "I did speak to him, for your information. Just a few minutes ago."
"Yeah? How'd that work out forya?" She then took a cup of tea, as well.
"He'll be accompanying you to the village tomorrow." Shifu watched her gulp down her tea, then glanced down at his own, inaccessible cup. He felt offended, actually, at the way she was drinking her tea in huge mouthfuls while he held her tray and stared helplessly down at his own. He could have easily balanced the tray with one hand, but then he ran the risk of her knocking it over for some reason. "Don't do anything untoward," he reminded her.
"Untoward?" she repeated. "What're you, a hundred years old? Whaddaya even mean by 'untoward,' anyway? You think I'm gonna be starting bar fights or picking up whores or something?"
"That's enough, I get it," he grumbled. "And you know what I mean."
"Yeah, yeah," she dismissed.
"Don't be a child." He really did feel sometimes as if he had two children instead of one.
"I might as well be, compared to you," she jabbed, then ate another piece of fruit from the tray. "And stop calling me old."
"Okay, fatty." She then reached under the tray and poked him in the stomach. "Save some for Tai Lung. Anyway, seeya at lunch." With that, she ran off before he had a chance to express his anger at being called fat, which he most certainly wasn't.
Perhaps as he approached his forties he had started to retain a little extra weight around the middle, but by no means would he consider someone of his build fat. He shook his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts; he couldn't believe he'd even been contemplating his weight to begin with. Lin was starting to get to him.
Speaking of whom... She'd run off before he'd had time to speak to her about whether or not she actually had been in Shanghai. Her behavior the night before had been somewhat suspicious, and while at the time he'd had other worries to attend to, he had certainly not forgotten. Perhaps Tai Lung's guess had been right, to a degree.
He stopped thinking about that possibility the moment he considered that such an instance would have required a man, any man, to actually be interested in Lin romantically. While she certainly was capable of a small amount of charm when it suited her needs, she was hardly what he would call bearable. He couldn't even begin to imagine that anyone in his right mind would actually want to spend his entire life with her. Not to mention the horrific consequences that would inevitably ensue from said man attempting to establish any kind of physical intimacy with her. The mental image of Lin beating down a prospective lover with a large wooden spoon was actually rather funny, he had to admit.
"Master?" Tai Lung approached, then stopped on the porch in front of him and bowed. "What were you laughing at?"
Shifu realized that he'd been chuckling under his breath, and quickly cleared his throat, embarrassed. "Oh, it was nothing. Now, let us begin."
Tai Lung bounced excitedly on his heels as he waited on one of the many landings of the thousand steps that led down into the village below. "Hurry up, Lin!" he called. He was getting rather antsy; after all, it had been ages since he'd been to the village.
"I'm a'coming," she groaned as she slowly descended the stairs. "Y'know, we can't all be kung fu prodigies. How's about slowing it down a little and enjoying the walk, huh?"
"Now way!" he protested, appalled at the idea. "We're on a time limit, you know, and I wanna spend as much time in the village as possible."
"I know, but it's not like you'll never be able to go down there again." She finally made it down to the landing, stretching when she did so.
"Yeah, maybe. Who knows?" He grinned at her, thinking of how much fun they were going to have. "If you stick around, maybe I'll be able to make the trip every day!"
"Not likely," she sighed, shaking her head. "Hey, weren't you the one in a hurry?"
"Oh, right!" And with that, he ran ahead down the stairs, ignoring the tired grunt that Lin let out behind him. He knew that he really shouldn't be so incredibly worked up over a simple shopping trip, but he just couldn't help but think of the endless possibilities involved in just a few hours down in the village. Of course, he wanted to meet and play with some children his own age, and that alone was enough to send him into an adrenaline-fueled frenzy. Then there were all the sights and smells- the vendors and their produce, spices, cloth, brushes and papers, and even fireworks! And Shifu had even given him some allowance to spend, on top of it all. And he had Lin to thank for helping him. He'd have to get her something special when she wasn't paying attention, like a fancy spoon or something.
If they ever made it down there, to begin with. "Lin!" he called over his shoulder.
"Hold your horses!" she shouted back.
Despite Lin's slow pace, they did eventually make it into the village, and Tai Lung thought he might burst from the anticipation of making it to the marketplace. He marveled at all the houses around him and their colorful tiled roofs, the carts selling assorted foods such as dumplings and noodles, and most of all at the residents of the valley, swarming through the streets on their daily chores. It was rare that he was privy to such a crowd of people, and even more rare when he could actually be a part of it.
Once they actually reached the market, he nearly let out an audible shout at the sight. An entire main street was lined with portable carts and sturdy wooden stands selling absolutely anything and everything he could think of. There were fireworks vendors, of course, and then there were stands selling things such as cloth and jewelry, colorful kites, masks for festivals, and little trinkets such as small wooden toys of Master Oogway and Master Shifu themselves. And that wasn't all- there were even stands selling scroll paintings, and then there were vendors selling kitchen tools- one had nothing on his cart but woks- and of course the produce and spice stands were expansive in themselves. On top of this, the street was absolutely packed with people: geese and ducks, pigs, rabbits, sheep, a few cranes, and he thought he even saw a tiger. "Wow!" he exclaimed, no longer able to hold in his wonder.
Lin let out a low chuckle. "Just stick close to me so you don't get lost in the crowd, okay kid?"
He nodded back at her and took hold of the hand she offered, following closely as she guided him deftly through the churning crowd. It was obvious that she had experience with this kind of thing, if he were to judge by the way she was able to weave in and out of the milling patrons, seemingly anticipating their every move as she ducked under shopping baskets and sidled through even the narrowest gap between pedestrians without so much as brushing against a single person.
Suddenly, she came to a stop in front of a vendor who appeared to be selling nothing more than ordinary rocks, and eyed them longingly. After a few moments, she shook her head, as if coming out of a spell, and moved on. "I don't need 'em."
"Why'd you want rocks in the first place?" he asked, curious as to what purpose she could have possibly had for them.
"They're not just rocks," she replied, then paused, frowning. "Never mind, kid. It's a boring explanation, anyway." She yanked him in between a goose bartering with a sheep, then wove through three mothers carrying infants and just barely managed to dodge an oncoming noodle cart. She stopped again, this time at a vendor who was selling root vegetables. "Since you're coming along, I'm gonna needya to help carry some stuff," she informed him as she picked up a potato and closely examined it for blemishes with her free hand, steadfastly holding onto him with the other.
Tai Lung let out a disappointed groan; if he didn't know any better, he'd say she was being a little overprotective. "Can't I find some kids to play with, or look around on my own for a little while?"
She set the potato down and turned to him, pulling him closer when a rabbit hurriedly tried to squeeze by. "Sure you can, kid. I don't need your help for a little while yet. The thing is, you can't go too far, or else I'd hafta spend all day trying to findya."
"But I can find my way back to the Jade Palace on my own!" he protested.
"Yeah, and then Shifu'd spend the rest of the night chewing me out for not carrying you around like a little baby," she reminded him. "Look, you can go on your own as long as you stay close, and as long as you come back, y'hear? And if we get separated, meet me at noon back at the thousand steps, okay?"
"Okay," he agreed, yanking his hand out of hers. Then he turned to scan the crowd for other children around his age, surprised at how slim the pickings were. Most of the children he could see were either infants or just old enough that they'd most likely laugh at him and turn him away if he tried to strike up any kind of rapport.
Lin elbowed Tai Lung in the side, snapping him out of the deeply focused state he'd entered while scanning the crowd. "Hey, you wanna make some new friends, right?" She then pointed to a nearby rabbit who looked about his age, on a shopping trip with her mother. "Try that girl."
"What? Why?" He wrinkled his nose in distaste and shook his head. "She's a girl."
"So'm I," Lin pointed out as she took another potato from the vendor to inspect it for blemishes, then tossed it back into the pile.
"Yeah, but you're different," he huffed, crossing his arms.
"Tell me about it," she agreed, watching as he glanced at the girl and frowned. "You kinda remind me of Shifu when you do stuff like that."
He gave her a horrified look to show her exactly what he thought of that sentiment.
"Look, you'll thank me for this when you're older."
Tai Lung made another face, completely unconvinced.
"Tai Lung, look me in the eye." She reached up and placed her hands on his shoulders, taking on the most serious tone he'd ever heard from her. "Learning how to speak to girls is something that most men never achieve in their entire lifetimes. Take your father, for instance. Girls- and women- are aggressive, conniving beasts, filled with impotent rage. They will make your life miserable just because they're bored. Women are absolutely merciless, as they have needed to be to survive in a world dominated by men. If you show so much as a single inkling of fear or weak disposition, they will devour you alive like so many hungry locusts. So learn how to talk to 'em. Got it?"
"Uh... Sure." He took a step back from her, pulling himself loose from her grip.
"Have fun!" she exclaimed, waving him off and turning back to the potatoes with a determined expression on her face.
Tai Lung gulped to himself, then steeled his nerves and slowly approached the girl. After all, she was the only kid in sight who even approached his age. When he had gotten within speaking distance, but was still far away enough not to merit an adverse reaction, he greeted her. "Hi."
She turned around with a puzzled expression on her face, then blinked up at him, obviously surprised by his size and species. "...Who're you?" she asked, her tone a bit harsh.
"Um, I'm Tai Lung," he answered, trying to think of what Lin would do in such a situation. "And I just came over here 'cause I thought you looked like the kinda person who likes to have a lot of fun. Whaddaya say you and I play a friendly game or something? Perhaps I could treat you to a dumpling. Or, if you like, we could just, y'know, shoot the breeze." He might have been trying a little too hard, but he was proud of how confident and natural he sounded.
"...You sound like my dorky dad," she replied, completely dispelling him of the notion that he'd made a good first impression.
"I, uh, uhm," he sputtered.
"I'm Mei," she went on, bowing curtly to him.
He bowed back, amazed that she'd still given him her name after he'd messed up like that.
"And this is my mother." She indicated the woman behind her, who happened to be haggling quite animatedly over some peaches. "You're a pretty big kid."
"Uh, yeah," he replied awkwardly. "Apparently I'm going through a growth spurt." He wondered if perhaps he was giving a little too much information.
"Where's your mom?" she suddenly asked, narrowing her eyes at him, then scanning the crowd. "I don't see any other cats around."
"Um, she's over at the potato stand," he answered, pointing at Lin.
"That's a dog." She looked back at him as if he were crazy.
"Well, she's not my mom, really..." The situation was definitely getting awkward. He wasn't sure how she would react to him having no actual relatives to speak of; he'd heard from Shifu and Oogway that some people could be very judgmental about such things.
"So she's, what, your nanny or something?" She apparently hadn't jumped to the conclusion that he was adopted, though.
"Um, actually, she's a cook." That sounded even weirder, though, than saying he was adopted.
"What? You're hanging out with your cook?" She narrowed her eyes up at him before an expression of understanding dawned on her face. "Ohhh, I get it now! You're her apprentice. Wow, you're really big for a cook!"
He could only stare down at her, flabbergasted by the idea.
"Hey, you wanna play a game?"
Well, if it got him into her good graces, he really couldn't argue. "Sure!" He'd done it; he'd actually made a friend, all on his own. It felt even better than, dare he say it, mastering one of the thousand scrolls. Well, it was comparable at least. He grinned to himself; he really could do anything he put his mind to.
Lin watched Tai Lung run off with the rabbit girl she'd forced him to speak to, laughing and playing like old friends. She had to admit, it was heart-warming to see him so happy and carefree. It reminded her of the rare carefree moments of her own childhood, running through fields of mud and beating her brothers with rotting old branches. Well, they weren't the most sophisticated carefree childhood moments in the world, but they were still happy memories.
And then, against her better judgment, she thought of her oldest sister. She'd been about Tai Lung's age when her sister had been sent off to get married, but they'd been so close beforehand. She remembered brushing her sister's hair, even though it wasn't exactly the kind of thing she enjoyed, just so they could talk. And she remembered accompanying her out to the well to fetch water, and helping her sew patches onto their father's worn out trousers. She shook her head at that particular memory; she'd never been very good at sewing, and her mother had always scolded her for her many mistakes.
She stopped herself there; thinking like that about the past would only cause her trouble, and that was one of the few things she already had plenty of. Besides, it was all over now, so there was no point in dredging it up all over again. At least, that was what she told herself whenever her mind traveled in that direction.
She focused on Tai Lung again, who, to her utter amusement, was puzzling over a game of cat's cradle of all things. She chuckled as the bossy girl he was playing with attempted to show him the correct way to weave the string over his fingers, but it just ended up in a tangled mess. The clueless expression on his face was very similar to Shifu's, actually. In fact, the more time she spent around the two of them, the more similarities she noticed between them, despite their divergent personalities.
It was no good for her to be thinking about her fondness for her newfound friends, either. She'd have to leave them soon enough, anyway. Still, she couldn't help but get caught up in the moment and appreciate all the things that she had once taken for granted about a life of domestication. Oogway's early morning chats with her while he practiced tai chi under the peach tree... Tai Lung's playful laughter... Shifu's cute ass.
She paused, marveling at that last thought. While she normally wasn't one for denial, that was definitely the last thing she'd expected herself to conjure up, and she wasn't sure that she ever wanted to think of it again. Even if it was true. And the mustache was kind of cute, too.
Perhaps, she thought, it would be best to turn her mind to a completely different subject. She searched her repertoire of inner musings for some kind of distraction, when fate decided to throw her one of a much more physical sort.
With a loud crash and a distant scream, the market erupted into complete and utter panic as patrons scrambled back and forth, through side streets and alleyways, to escape the sudden mayhem. She had no idea what had caused such a sudden scene, but she was given an inkling as she pushed through the crowd towards a frozen Tai Lung. Above the heads of the churning, shouting masses she spied something much taller than the majority of the valley's inhabitants- something green and scaly.
A/N: CLIFFHANGERRRRRR. Sorry, I got excited for my first real cliffhanger of the story. Intense things are happening now! Isn't this wonderful? It's probably not going to be worth the 14 chapter wait, but hey, who actually reads Kung Fu Panda fanfiction for the fighting, anyway? *Shifty eyes* Oh, and I just couldn't help that nod to Sofia from The Golden Girls... "Picture it: Sicily, 1945..." Now that show has some great bickering in it. And I know the dog jokes barely make sense in a world where domesticated pets don't exist... But I couldn't resist them. :)
Anyway, next chapter I'll reveal what all the hullabaloo is about. Also, since I know how hard it can be to wait for a cliffhanger, expect the next chapter in one week instead of two. Yep, you heard it here first! Anyway, off I trot back to boring real life.